If you will ever ask who is Hwang Eunbi? I guess you wouldn’t get a direct bull’s eye answer.

For Yerin, she prefers to say that SinB is a white light. And it probably means something with the touch of poetry but she also means Eunbi has something more than what you see and hear. She thinks Eunbi can be complicated… and more so now. She thought in order to know Eunbi you have to dive for the words all tangled up in the deepest ocean just to try to understand them.

“I’m SinB, actually” – That’s what she said when Yerin called her using the name she used to know the younger girl had. But then a second later Eunbi told her it was nice meeting her again, and at the same time, like before -- with a downpour. Yerin could really swear she is so confusing and she could give a lot of fair examples about that.

Just like how she observed that the younger girl could smile but her eyes remain to hold this glint of sparkle mixed with sadness. Indeed, even the prettiest of eyes have seen the darkest of the skies -- that’s what she thought. But her eyes, her eyes hold everything Yerin’s soul thirsts for. You can ask her why, but she knows she can never tell you why for she, herself, do not know. I guess there are some things that we just cannot explain.

“I’m not Eunbi anymore…” She said, her voice fading as the words reached the other girl. “I’m SinB now, one of the daughters of Kim. You would know if you know the new professor.”

She didn’t understand and that is clear as the sky to SinB, that is if it’s not raining. It is evident with how she angled her head and how her eyebrows meet in the middle. SinB chuckled upon seeing her reaction. It must be so clear that she decided to be kind and care to elaborate a little.

“My parents… they went away. They left me all alone.” She said, her voice inviting the silence to come and hug her sad soul.

“And… nobody stayed.” She said, just emphasizing the feeling of someone somewhere who melancholically gaze at the horizon as the raindrops pour down.

She chose to embrace the silence for now as she looked up, letting her head lean on the wooden wall behind her back, as she watched Yerin wordlessly crossing the old wooden frame that has been dividing them for so long. When was the last time the distances between them disappear like this?

And she understands, the words that have not been said. Because some words could not be sharp yet they can make you bleed and weep in silence. She also chose to remain mum until she felt the girl sit beside her, unable to say anything.

On the other hand, Yerin has so many thoughts running on her mind. And one of them is how the younger girl looks so tough at the outside and yet she could see softness inside. Yerin is afraid of unintentionally uttering a single word that could hit a crack under those façade.

“I changed my name. Somehow, I wanted to restart anew when I met the old hag and we decided to let my old name go just so I wouldn’t be reminded of the troubled life I had back then.” And SinB felt that there are still a lot of questions in Yerin’s mind but she cannot entirely say it then and there. But she thought maybe saying more, just a little more, could help. And so she told her what she felt when she agreed to that decision. “I thought nobody would care for a girl who only did nothing but to bring bad luck to people. I thought it will be alright not to know one to be honest.”

And Yerin felt that.

She felt it, not the words she told her, but rather the feelings that the other girl harbor -- Those feelings that are hiding behind those words. Just like how she thought about the changes in her voice, in her height, on the way she talks about things, on the way she contradicts what she feels inside, and even in the way she had her name change– all those facades, and yet she can still see the young lady she had laid her eyes upon before, never wanting to look anywhere. She thought, even if the girl in front of her now has changed so much… she is still the first girl she had ever loved.

And no, she is not sorry that she can still see that.

“That’s not true.” the brunette, Yerin, dared to say. “I do not know what happened to you, and probably, I don’t have the rights to tell you this. But I want you to know you matter and I care about you. I missed you, right from the beginning. Not from the day we met but for the time I knew you are out there somewhere.”

SinB looked at her, lips sealed, mum. And within that second, Yerin saw brittleness spread on her face just before she covered it with a smile.

She is confusing. That’s what she told herself. But she understands.

“I’m sorry…” SinB uttered, her glance – momentary, and yet meaningful. But SinB did not know Yerin has already forgiven her long before she knew she was away and long before she knew she was sorry.

“Don’t say that as if no one cared for you because that hurts.” She told her in an attempt to break that belief of the other. “That hurts because I do...”  Yerin admitted.

And I’d stay just like how I stayed for three years even if I do not know if you’ll ever come. And these are the words that only reverberated on her mind. The words she wish SinB would hear someday if she feels like no one would stay, because she would, voluntarily – without anyone begging for it.

But SinB… she only stared at her eyes, as if she is searching for something, a hint, something to hold on. And she saw something in those eyes that says she is a little bit of everything that Yerin never knew she needed.

Yerin knows SinB might have seen that through her eyes as she caught the other girl’s eyes soften for a moment but she looked away.

“You don’t understand.” She told her. But Yerin thought otherwise, even if it’s only a little. She did not know what happened to the younger girl before but she wanted to let SinB know that not all people would eventually leave – that there are still some people who won’t, just like her.

For when promises are meant to be broken, and tomorrow never comes, she promise to leave and stop loving SinB tomorrow.

She wanted to tell SinB that she isn’t alone, for she knows how shattering it feels of how easy it is for people to love you, hurt you, and breaks you and then leaves you behind, as if the hurt and the break aren’t enough. And for the reason that she knows about those times a person wonder how to remove the pain, trying to find happiness, but we don’t know where and how to begin;

 “If only my words could heal your scars and wounds, I could have written you a book.”  Those are the words that came out of her after a lot of seconds of silence and th