Hyunjin listened to the sound of vehicles quietly passing by the midnight road and the faint sound of the radio playing a not so familiar song nearby. His eyes are still closed and his hands are starting to get cold. The crowded people a while ago were now few, some getting drunk, some on their way home. He slowly opened his eyes and watched them in a blur. With this, he somewhat found the calmness and tranquility his mind was looking for. He sat on the verge of a slide and continued to watch people as they come and go as he shook the stain of rust on his hands. He just wants to forget certain things that he somehow regret and one of them was involving himself in a one sided love story of who knows who.

Amidst the hundreds and hundreds of emotions Hyunjin had ever felt, what he feels right in the moment is a complete stranger to him. It’s not that he ran out of words to say but in fact, he can’t find the words to describe what he is feeling. It’s somewhere between the feeling of getting in trouble and getting enthusiastic but scared all at once and he never felt that before. He blames it on Felix and Changbin but deep down he knew that what has been keeping him up at night was not about Changbin and Felix -- it was all about himself.

He knew his plans never worked even the slightest. He knew it never reached Changbin as if Felix’s feelings were constellations away, impossible to reach him. But he somewhat knew how Changbin is aware. And what Hyunjin could not understand is that how Felix seemed to accept how it was. It frustrates him to see how Felix seals and locks his heart on his own, not even letting it to shed some light. And what frustrates him even more is how he felt his plan backfiring to him. As if he was the only one affected by the entire crisis he was put into. So, he made up his mind. Maybe it is the right time to stop so, he jumped down and decided to head back to their dorm to sleep his thoughts away.

Hyunjin noticed Felix and Seungmin’s door ajar and decided to shut it close but he noticed an empty bed above Seungmin’s. Felix wasn’t on his bed once again. His mind suddenly forgot his plan to sleep his thoughts away. He knew exactly where to go and his feet moved themselves without thinking twice. He rushed down to the stairs and he immediately scolded himself as soon as he reached the bottom floor for forgetting about the presence of the elevator. Felix dominates his thoughts right away, and that’s what frustrates Hyunjin the most- that one thing that’s keeping him awake at night. It’s all about himself getting occupied by Felix. Hyunjin seeks for an answer but he found none.

He was about to run his way when he felt a tug on his shoulders and it was Hyunjin’s least expected person to see – Changbin.

“Are you out to the dance studio?” Changbin was wearing his usual black jacket with his free hand on his jean’s pocket. Hyunjin’s throat constricts, still not expecting the other’s presence but he managed to nod his head as an answer.

“I mean, to Felix.” Changbin noticed the confusion on Hyunjin’s eyes and with that, he knew it will be a long night.

“Hyung, can we talk?” Hyunjin regretted it as soon as the words slipped out on his mouth. But a part of him says it was the right thing to do. He felt his heart banging as nervousness creeps in.

They sat in an empty playground where Hyunjin stayed thirty minutes ago. Changbin rested his hands on the moist grass and stretched his feet so they can relax. There was complete silence between them but Hyunjin felt deaf with his loud and chaotic thoughts.

“Look hyung I want to get straight to the point.” Hyunjin finally broke the silence and let his frustrations out. “I know it shouldn’t be coming from me but-“ He hesitated but his heart pumped harder and the air on his lungs compresses with every word. “Do you even have the slightest clue about his feelings for you?” Hyunjin felt a bag of rice being taken out of his chest as soon as he threw his question but his stomache puckered up inside as he wait for the other’s answer.

Changbin looked up at the midnight sky not saying a word and Hyunjin felt even more frustrated.

Hyunjin shifted from his seat and faced Changbin’s direction. “Hyung,I’m not trying to—“

“He used to like me.” Changbin’s words were trailed with sadness and Hyunjin noticed that.

“Used to.” Changbin smiled sadly as if his words were already proven.

“I-I don’t understand.” Hyunjin was left without words but questions piling up inside his mind. He wanted to yell at Changbin for being an , pretending to be oblivious of Felix’s feelings but his body was too drained out.

“D-do you like him?” Hyunjin felt his chest constricting once again as if a fist gets tighter and tighter inside as the words came out of his mouth.

“Do I?” Changbin’s eyes were fixed staring above. He looked calm in Hyunjin’s eyes but there was a brewing storm inside him ready to take him down.

“When you like a flower, you pluck it and keep it to yourself.” He tried to smile and let out a heavy sigh before continuing his words. “But when you love a flower, you watch it grow, help it grow if you can.”

“I like him.” Hyunjin felt a sudden pang of pain on his system. His mind clouded up and his thoughts continued to mess up. It was all he want, to make Felix’s feelings reach Changbin, but suddenly he felt as if it was the least thing he’ll ever ask for. He seeks answer on his chaotic mind but he was left with nothing. He tries hard to listen to Changbin’s words but it feels like a knife slashing down his stomach and he never felt as confused in his life.

“Then why didn’t you tell him?” Hyunjin’s voice shakes as it raised not too high to sound exasperated.

“I'm not the one who helps him grow" Changbin felt a dropping motion in his chest as if something inside has shattered. "He doesn’t deserve this kind of feelings.” Changbin’s smile disappeared, still not breaking his gaze into the sky. It was getting harder for Hyunjin to process. And it’s not helping him even the slightest.

“How do you know when someone deserves it or not? How could you know?” His voice raised a little bit higher. He felt hurt, not for himself but for Felix. If he could punch Changbin in the moment then he would but he stopped himself when he remembered their full packed live schedules for the week.

“When it could make the person happy.” Changbin’s breathing gets heavier as if the words he said was a gun trigger he pulled pointing towards him.

“He looks happy when he’s with you, hyung.” Felix seems to look happier when he’s with Changbin. He witnessed how Felix's eyes glimmers whenever the's with Changbin and Hyunjin never wanted to take that away. In fact, it was all he ever wanted - to make Felix happy.

A second of silence occupied the midnight air. The streets were completely empty and the radio playing earlier has stopped but it did not help Hyunjin find his peace just like a little while ago.

“You know what else could prove that this kind of feelings were not enough?” Changbin caught Hyunjin’s eyes, breaking his gaze to the sky. Hyunjin froze as if something had hit him inside.

“When you know that there’s someone out there willing to give him the love he deserves.” Hyunjin felt his stomache flipped with Changbin's words and he tries hard to swallow the lump formed in his throat that makes breathing harder.

“I like him but not as much as you do. I make him happy but not as much as you do.” Changbin stood up and shook the dirt on his hands away with Hyunjin still on the ground.

“But you’re both too dense to realize.” Changbin chuckled with a little hint of sorrow in his eyes. And with that, he walked away, leaving Hyunjin with a wild, wild pounding heart.

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a.n. Aha- sorry for that lame pun chapter title! please forgive me!
Anyway, please hang on until the last chapter! Thank you for reading!  ♥