January  2018

They were fine.

They hadn't talked much about the accident... well, actually they hadn't spoken at all. 

In their groups they were known as some of the bravest, two of the most bold, but when it came to facing their mistakes, both had proved to be the real cowards, as demonstrated by the fact that during those few days that had passed, they only keep checking on their phones at any hour and every minute, without being able to find the courage to write something or call the other.

It was only thanks to the unconscious help of Jisoo and Yunhyeong that, finally, they managed to find a point of contact and make sure that yes, despite everything they were still fine.

Everything happened quite quickly.

It was the night of December 31st. Lisa was a guest at Jisoo's family home, as often happened during the holidays. Although it wasn't a celebration of their tradition, thanks to the few free days that the shooting of Blackpink House and the musical events had given them, they decided to spend some time with their families, Chaeng thanks to the presence of her parents in Korea and Lisa as a guest of Jisoo's parents and siblings, that had somehow become her second family since her arrival in the country.

It wasn't unexpected for them to see an incoming video-call from Yunyeong that night, since by now it had become a sort of tradition for them. What surprised Lisa, though, was the fact that when all the members of the group appeared on the screen, there was also Jiwon among them. Not that his presence was strange, actually, but... she had thought that this time he would have avoided to appear. To avoid her, yeah.

But he was there, in a corner of the screen, making her feel more nervous than she could have ever imagined. 

Fortunately, no one beyond Jisoo's nephew, sitting in her arms, seemed to notice the stiffness that had suddenly invaded her, and no one other than him seemed to notice the suspicious timing of the message that had suddenly arrived on her phone, shortly after the start of the video-call. Initially, Lisa was too busy staring at Jiwon and wondering if his eyes were directed at her, at the camera lens or if he was ignoring her, to care about the vibration of her phone, but thanks to the child's warning, she soon realized the arrival of a new message.

Kimbab: Hi

Her heart couldn't help but jump when she read the sender's name. She had waited for days to see that writing appear on the screen of her phone, but now that the moment had finally arrived the only thing she could think of was that her heart was beating too loudly and that she didn't like it. Not entirely.

She looked up and for the first time since she had begun to question the direction of Jiwon's gaze, she could say with certain that his eyes were directed at her. Even she couldn't said why, but she clearly felt them on herself.

She looked at him for few moments before answering: she couldn't say for sure - in their environment, people soon learned to bluff and conceal their feelings -, but he seemed nervous too, kind of impatient and this knowledge partly succeeded in comforting her.

Lice: Hi

She hurried to answer, after taking a deep breath. Usually, during these video calls Lisa never failed to actively participate in the conversation, but that evening her concentration was all directed to her phone and even if she tried to say few words, right after finish her answers she begain distracted again and again, forcing Jisoo to repeatedly attract her fleeting attention.

Kimbab: How are u?  

Jiwon's response came much more quickly than hers: as soon as she had sent her first message, Lisa had looked up at him and had been able to observe him as he opened it. The smile that appeared on his face after reading her "hi" was brief and tiny, but it was enough to allow her to relax a little, at least. For some reason, she had feared that this time the situation was really irreparable between them.

Lice: I'm okay. U?

When she looked at him again, Jiwon's gaze was already on the phone screen. His brow was furrowed and his expression, for some strange reason, seemed even more worried than a few moments before. She saw him typing, then erasing everything and typing again, until, after he took a deep sigh, her phone vibrated once more.

Kimbab: You're okay even with me?

Lisa's eyes widened as she read those words: at first she had been angry at him, but it had lasted just a moment; she had soon realized that she had started that whole story and that, above all, the only reason that had made her feel angry was not the kiss itself, but the feelings that it had aroused in her, along with the desire to try them again. 

In the last days, in short, she had stopped wondering how she would forgive him and she had began to wonder if he was angry at her too, what he had felt during their kiss and, above all, if they would ever have managed to overcome it.

She had no idea how to write all that in a message - words had always been her weakness -, so instead of continuing to worry and lengthen his waiting, she simply wrote the only certain she had at that moment.

Lice: I'm always okay with you. You're okay?

When he looked up again, it was really reassuring to see a smile of pure relief appear on his face, and even more so was his next answer, which this time cost Jiwon much less for trial before being sent.

Kimbab: I'm absolutely fine now

She couldn't help but smile and instead of responding to that message, she decided to direct her gaze, finally returned bright after so many gloomy days, directly to him.

At that point, the conversation between the two girls and the seven boys continued in a much more relaxed way, especially thanks to the special participation of the adorable little nephew of Jisoo, who immediately becamed the star of that short video call. 

At the time of greetings, the drastic change in Lisa's and Jiwon's attitude was made very clear by the "happy new year" who they had exchanged and thay had addressed to the others, with the same vivacity of all time.

"You two made up now?" Jisoo had asked her when they closed the communication and it was satisfying for her to finally could say that yes, they finally had made up. 

The kiss was now a mistake that they could leave behind - or rather, that both were doing their best to ignore and forget - and, beyond their wildest dreams, it was very likely that they would be able to overcome that accident in a blink of an eye even while staying in the same room, rather than separated by a computer.
 

There was nothing to be nervous about. They were fine. They had to be fine, especially because that day was the day of their final test.

The girls had just returned to Korea from Japan and, after making sweet eyes to the managers, they had managed to snatch few hours with the boys in the day before their long awaited comeback, before returning to the Blackpink House.

When they arrived to the dorm, armed with dinner for all the members and a small gift for Chanwoo's birthday carefully chosen by Jisoo, they found them gathered in the apartment of the "downstairs", just returned from the "Konfidential night" that had just ended.

"Hey!" the boys greeted them in chorus after their appearance.

It was pleasant and reassuring to see again their smiles, wide and bright, after so much time away. Only once the girls returned at home they would confess all this thoughts to each other: stay away from them, all of them, was far more difficult than they had thought at the beginning of that adventure; perhaps, after all, they had underestimated the bond that shared with their great family.

After the ritual greetings, the girls took their seats in the living room together with the boys, a task that for a couple of them seemed to be more difficult than expected. I have already referred to the fact that for years now the habit of Jiwon and Lisa to take place next to each other when they had the chance had become a detail that nobody noticed anymore, a habit that had made it practically an automatic gesture.

Well, even that day take a sit next to each other was automatic, the problem occurred when they realized it.

"I'm relieved," candidly announced Jinhwan at some point, after Chanwoo had discarded his gift and after all of them arranged the dinner on the table in front of the sofa. Everyone turned to look curiously at the eldest of the gang, unable to predict what he was about to say. "after what happened a month ago, I thought Jennie and I had done some damage, but apparently nothing has changed"

It must be pointed out that Jinhwan's intentions were really innocent. After all, he was aware only of that little, brief kiss that couldn't even be called in that way according to Jiwon, a kiss after which he had seen them return almost totally to normalcy just a few minutes later. He had no idea, that poor hyung, of what happened next and of the tension that Jiwon and Lisa seemed to have momentarily forgotten.

A tension that, after those words, didn't wait even a moment before returning.

As if this were not enough, since neither of the two dared to say a word - immediately after Jinhwan's sentence, both of them had frozen in place, rigid and with the gaze fixed at a random point in the room -, Yunhyeong replied, inadvertently pointing out details that Jiwon would never have wanted to make public - despite having already done it during the live of that night - and that Lisa still didn't know whether to define positive or negative.

"Admit it, you are relieved only because when they finally return to live downstairs, Jiwon will invade her room instead of yours!" he , then turned to Lisa. "Have you seen the live? He's really lonely since you're not there. Just to spend some time in a place that is not the chaos of his room alone, he dare to challenge the fury of Jinhwan hyung. I don't know how long he will remain alive if it continues like this... even if, Jiwon, it would be enough to start clean up, you know it, right? "

At that point, since he was mention directly, Jiwon cleared his voice, obviously embarrassed, and hastened to replace the discomfort he felt with an annoyed expression directed at the unfortunate Yunhyeong.

"From tomorrow on, instead of going to his room, I will come to yours, so you will not have to worry anymore" he grumbled, then concluded the sentence with a snort. 

Why they ever had to take out that story again? He wondered at that point, passing a hand through his hair. Until then they had gone well, really well. Because they were all together, they had quickly forgotten the embarrassment and everything seemed to be back to normal. But now...

On the other hand, if Lisa could have hear Jiwon's thoughts, she would have agreed with him right away. Until a few minutes before, she had completely forgotten the embarrassment, the nervousness and, above all, had managed to put aside the memory of Jiwon's lips on hers. But now, if she had turned to look at him, she was sure she wouldn't be able to look at any another feature of his face except for his mouth.

Luckily, that topic soon gave way to something else: Yunhyeong and Jiwon bickered a bit on the "room" and the "order" topics, then Junhoe had the brilliant idea to briefly intervene in the rescue of the latter, inevitably becoming the new target of the "king of clean" of iKON, but soon the food and the imminent comeback attract all their attention, distracting them from any other argument.

The atmosphere in the living room was joyful, familiar and comfortable in every corner except for the one where our hopeless protagonists were sitting. For their part, they continued to alternate moments in which they seemed to completely forget everything that happened between them, to others in which even the brief touch of their arms seemed to cause them troubles.

The fault of all this? No, it was no longer of the innocent interventions of Jinhwan or Yunhyeong, but of their attention that at every glance seemed automatically focused on a point where it should never have go, as Lisa had predicted.

Every time she looked at him, the memory of the kiss, strangely vivid in every detail despite the time passed, came back to dominate her mind, erasing every trace of any other thought. While every time he glanced sideways to check if she was well, his eyes inevitably ended up on her plump lips and the curiosity to know if they were still soft and warm like the last time made his way into his mind for a single, painful moment: even to see her made simple gestures like eating and drinking had become damned hard to tolerate for him, to the point that, suddenly, he wished that the meeting would end soon.

The situation went on like this for a while, until he decided it was time to change the air. 

"Can you come with me for a moment?" he whispered then, without even looking at her. And he almost wished to beat himself when his own words brought his mind back again to that same damn night and to the request she had made to him shortly after her "dare".

When Lisa looked up, surprised by the sudden question, she realized that Jiwon was not even looking at her while saying those words, but since she couldn't imagine that he had the same "concentration issues" as her, she couldn't help to wonder if his desire to get away from others was mainly due to the wish to find a way to put as much as possible distance between them.

The nervousness, never completely gone, came back strongly in her. But after a few moments she only nodded.

When they got up, Jiwon blocked every possible question with a hasty and firm "we'll come back soon", and then lead her, under the confused and curious look of those present, to the corridor.

Taking a deep breath and trying to suppress the mixture of feelings that stirred in her, Lisa followed him until they reached his room.

She had to admit it, she was a bit confused by that sudden change, but strangely she was starting to feel a little - but really, really little - more relaxed now that they were alone, whitout the gaze of the others on them.

After let her in, Jiwon closed the door behind him and walked to his bed. Standing in the middle of the room, motionless and eagerly waiting, Lisa watched him move ahead and pass her. Despite the nervousess, she had a hard time to restrain a slight laugh, when she saw him let his body go completely slack on the bed, snorting loudly.

"Ah, they were driving me crazy" he announced, pulling his hair back with both hands. Even he, at that point, couldn't tell if his words were referring to the others around them or her lips so close, but he quickly decided not to investigate any further.

"That's why we came here?" she asked, now visibly more relaxed. It's true, he still didn't look at her, but at least he didn't seem to be angry or annoyed by her presence. It was already an improvement.

"Are you trying to tell me that you weren't uncomfortable?" he answered, finally looking briefly at her, an eyebrow sarcastically raised.

Quickly, Lisa looked away from his defined jawline - not that she had never noticed or observed it before, but now seemed to make her a far worse effect than usual -, pretending to be extremely interested in the Jiwon's shoe collection, already widely known, and shook her head briefly.

"I felt suffocated, actually" she admitted, bending a corner of her lips in a bitter expression. Honestly, she hated feeling like that in her own family. "I even thought I would have died soon if it wasn't over quickly, so I think I owe you my life now"

"Same here..." he laughed bitterly.

They stayed in silence for few moments - she focus on the pairs of shoes, even if she wasn't really intrested in look at it, while he took advantage of the fact that he could only see her back to look at her sneaking -, then Jiwon finally sat up.

"Maybe we're not really fine" he murmured, joining his hands in a distracted gesture. "Between us, I mean"

At that point, Lisa turned to him and finally, after a long time spent trying to avoid each other, their eyes met, mirroring each other's fears.

"I..." she began, but suddenly she stopped, initially too nervous to be able to find the right words in that situation. She paused and patiently, as always, Jiwon waited for her until, with a sigh, she continued: "I think we should just stop talking about it"

"We haven't talked about it at all" he remarked.

Lisa leaned gently against the shelves behind her and briefly ran a hand through her hair.

"We should ask them not to take the topic out anymore... or hope that they will not do it again. I mean, it's all in the past, isn't it?"

"We're talking about the same people, are we?"

"I know... I know, it's very likely that they'll end up bringing up the subject again, but after tonight maybe it will not happen so early and, anyway, I'm afraid that months will pass before we can met each other again like this" she stumbled in the words a little, a bit due to the nervousness and a bit due the insecurity about what she wanted to say. She just wanted to try to forget, look at his face and be able to see him as she did before: not that what she usually felt was very different from what she felt now, but at least before the kiss she still managed to interact with him in a normal way, to see him also as a friend and a brother, instead of only a... even she didn't knew how to define him now. "Long time will pass before we can all get together again, by then it should have become easier for us to overcome all this, don't you think?"

Jiwon remained silent for a moment, then turned his gaze back to her.

"So you don't want to talk about it?"

"What should we said?"

"I could start with a I'm sorry, but..."

Lisa never knew what he would say after that "but", because as soon as she heard him utter those words, she shook her head and hurried to interrupt him. "I'm sorry" was really the last thing that she wanted to hear, because despite everything a little, but powerful part deep inside her still hoped he wouldn't regret that kiss.

"No, I don't want to talk about it" she declared firmly, then she softed the rough tone she had used with an apologetic smile. "I just want to move on and get my best friend back, okay? I don't want to make this a big deal or think about it more than is necessary..."

For a few moments, Jiwon didn't know what to do: until then he had felt the same desire just expressed by Lisa, but a part of him still fought against the common sense and the rationality, refusing to let go that opportunity without seize it, without giving it the right significance. But soon, little details was enough to make him change his mind: a picture on the desk, the smiling face of a friend, the memory of a promise made long time ago and here that any doubt or hesitation disappeared immediately, leaving behind a trail of bitterness, but also an intense relief.

"All right" he concluded, standing up. "Let's not talk about it anymore"

Lisa breathed a sigh of relief, which almost made her choke when she saw him approaching. Near, near, more and more closer... Inside her, she wondered if she should scream at him not to take another step or to punish him directly with a kick when he would've arrived at an inappropriate distance, but while the space between them became ever smaller, she couldn't do anything except being perfectly still, frozen in her position, eyes wide open and breath that badly worked.

She saw him approaching and then stopping, at a distance that, actually, she would've defined anything but appropriate. Another half step would have been enough and nothing more would have been there to separate them, not even a millimeter or a breath of air. Her heart, disobeying to her own will, began to pound harder and harder, while the time seemed to stop, paralyze. 

And in all this, he simply stood there, at a breath from her, motionless and without speaking, just looking at her.

In reality, that look didn't last more than a moment, but to Lisa it seemed eternal. She wanted to look away, but Jiwon's eyes seemed to have immobilized her; it wasn't even the lips to attract her attention anymore, now there was only his eyes, so close and fixed on her with a such intense staring.

When he finally looked away, the return to reality was like an electroshock to her: he left her confused and with a throbbing heart, breathless as if she had remained in apnea for the entire duration of that moment.

She didn't even notice the fact that Jiwon's eyes were now pointing to something behind her, but her senses returned alertly when he lifted a hand beside her head.

Fear or expectation? She couldn't even tell what she had felt when she had sensed him move; what is certain is that after the end of that moment of panic, she started questioning everything that she had said to him just a little earlier. Maybe they should have talked about it, maybe trying to get back to what they were wasn't the right thing to do, after all...

If really the only thing she wanted was to forget everything and move on, why now that Jiwon's fingers had settled on something that was not her, she felt a sense of sadness and disappointment rather than relief?

She couldn't thinking about that for a long time, since suddenly something soft dropped on her head. With a grimace, Lisa pulled away from her face those who looked like two sleeves and after looking at them for a moment, she realized that yes, the thing on her head was really an hoodie, specifically one of those she had glimpsed a little earlier on the shelf during her distracted exploration.

Jiwon had literally taken it, raised it and dropped it on her head... yes, maybe staying "just friends" was the right thing to do.

"Why?" she asked him after a few moments, raising her gaze on him and shaping her lips in a little pout.

Kim Jiwon, for his part, was looking at her with a satisfied grin, his arms crossed and with a proud pose, as if he had done some kind of heroic gesture.

"You said your closet seems empty now that you can't borrow my clothes anymore" he said, briefly shrugging his shoulders after quoting what she had said just before the things became embarassing again. 

"Oh..." that's was the only thing she managed to say initially, a little grateful and a little surprised by his act.

She pulled the hoodie off her head, blew her hair from her face and looked at that unexpected loan, a smile that was slowly forming on her lips. It was a pretty simple hoodie, with a bright green color and a cyrillic writing on the front: "Жизнь поднимается к лучшему моменту", said the writing and she mentally took a note to go and look for the meaning of the sentence once she returned to the Blackpink House .

"Thank you" she finally said, looking up at him again, now giving him a big, bright smile.

"You're welcome" he laughed, raising a hand again. This time, however, the direction of his fingers surprised her: instead of directing them upwards, he brought them closer to her face and gently arranged her the messy bangs. "If you come back in the main room with your hair in this state, they might get the wrong idea" he justified himself with a sneer and Lisa didn't hesitate for a moment before hitting him - too lightly - with a fist on his arm.

"It's too early for these kind of jokes!" she scolded him, while he, laughing shamelessly, approached the door.

Grumbling - and with a smile on her lips -, Lisa followed him, the hoodie now carefully folded in her arms and the heart finally much lighter.

Once back in the living room, Lisa spent a lot of time trying to decide right away when to wear that precious gift, but only a few days later, just before starting shooting again for their reality show, she managed to choose the perfect occasion.

*****

Hello people! The author is here again!

First of all, let me start with some apology: sorry for the delay in updating - it was difficult to find the time to write these days -, excuse the transitional chapter - I hope the next ones can be more interesting - and sorry, as always , for any errors in my English, I'm still learning!

And now some clarification: of course, I haven't idea of ​​what is the story behind the matching hoodie, probably they only have the same tastes and have inadvertently bought the same, but my fantasy delulu decided to build behind this "coincidence" this scene, I hope you can enjoy it! Also, since for them it's not uncommon to wear the same clothes, I've imagined that, just like other iKON members do, Lisa also occasionally goes to borrow something in Jiwon's open closet... wouldn't it be a super cute thing?!

But, actually, this is just my imagination that goes wilde, don't take this too seriously lol

Okay, now I'll stop chatter about nonsense and I'll close it here!

Thanks to all those who have read this chapter and who continue to follow my story, you always make my day! ❤

See you at the next update - I hope to be able to update sooner this time -,

🌊 bye bye 🌊