Section One: [C h a n] The Last Place I'd Rather Be

Chan's eyes fluttered open in the hospital bed, weak and unable to make out the faces in the room. He could faintly hear a voice.

"Yes, we were dancing... yes... I think so... he would stay up... I wasn't aware if he was..." To Chan, it sounded like Changbin but he still couldn't tell for some reason.

Chan was gaining back his eyesight as he saw Felix nudge Changbin and point towards Chan. He could see Jisung on the other side of the room, head in his hands. Was he crying? Minho sat next to Jisung, staring at the ground. What happened? 

"Hey, Chan," Felix spoke gently. "You passed out after you got the takoyaki." Felix waited for Chan to give him a sign that he understood before he continued talking. Chan slightly nodded, still unable to choke up his words.

"The diagnosis says that it was caused by sleep deprivation along with physical and mental stress."

Jisung still had his head in his arms. "Minho," he whispered, "Can I talk to you outside for a second?" Minho got up, following Jisung who was wiping his face on his sleeves. Once the two stepped outside of the room, Jisung sunk into the closest chair and started weeping again. Minho sat down next to Jisung once again and took tissues from a pack in his pocket.

"This is all my fault. I should have bought the takoyaki instead. I should have stopped him from staying up so late. I should have helped him with whatever I can to lessen his college and 3RACHA production workload. I should have been listening to him the first time when he scolds me. I should have..." Jisung trailed off. Minho leaned closer, Jisung gently laying his head on Minho's shoulder. Minho gently wiped Jisung's tears, Jisung's hands motionless in his pocket as if his hands have given up. His shoulder was warm, the position cozy, but Jisung was too upset to think about how close he was to Minho right here, right now. 

To Jisung, Chan was like an older brother. When he had met Chan before, Chan gave off such a welcoming expression that just screamed "Yes! Let's totally be friends!" When Chan first told Jisung that they could write and produce tracks together with Changbin, Jisung couldn't contain his excitement. It seems as though he was waiting his whole life for someone with the same ambition to approach him and work with him towards their dreams. But instead of joyfully having fun with the others creating tracks, here he was, outside the hospital room of an overworked Chan, wishing and regretting his past actions and decisions that turned out to have a negative effect on that person he shared his ambition with. He still blamed himself. 

It was around 7 pm. Back in the room, Felix's phone vibrated in his pocket as he was watching Chan drift back to sleep. Felix quietly picked up his phone and stepped outside the room, leaving Changbin inside still watching over Chan. He glanced over at Jisung still leaning his head on Minho's shoulder, tears no longer falling but instead just a tired and regretful face, before Felix turned the other direction and answered the call. 

"Hey, Felix. It's Seungmin. Hyunjin and I are working on our partner project and we were wondering if you can help us with this section. I believe it's relating to the topic of- social oppression... yeah, social oppression and stuff like that. Are you available now or sometime or something?" 

"Ah, sorry Seungmin. I'm not available now but I'll let you know later tonight what time I might be available tomorrow," Felix responded. "Mhm. Talk to you later." Felix turned back around. Jisung was now asleep, and Minho was staring into space and occasionally gazing at the younger dozing off on his shoulder. Felix walked back into the room, sitting back down next to Changbin. He thought back to Seungmin and Hyunjin's topic. Social oppression, huh? Felix was reminded of the verse he rapped at the studio with 3RACHA. 'Shh' tried to wit the contents of social oppression, the enforced surroundings, and rebellion in reality..... 

His phone vibrated once again, and Felix wondered why Seungmin would call twice before panicking when he saw that the call was from his mother. Changbin quickly noticed Felix's discomfort and understood the situation immediately. He took and answered Felix's phone.

"Felix, where are you? Are you studying well at the library? Don't come home too late. You had your follow-up lesson with Mr. Sohn already? Or not yet?"

"Hello Mrs. Lee, this is Changbin, Felix's project partner. We are still at the library but Felix just quickly went to reserve a computer for our research. He came here straight from his follow-up lesson," Changbin calmly answered. Felix caught his breath before watching Changbin smoothly end the conversation with Felix's mother. Felix looked down, disappointed in himself. The sorrow was making Changbin want to lighten the mood a bit. Chan was sleeping peacefully, but upset Jisung and Minho were still outside of the room and now Felix was upset too. He had a longing to cling to something. Then he had an idea. He grabbed Felix's arm from the armrest of the chair and wrapped his arms around it. Felix looked up and the dispirited expression on his face was soon replaced with a light pink blush. This satisfied Changbin's longing to hug something as well as make Felix feel better without having to say anything.

Minho came back into the room with Jisung, who was barely awake. They took seats closer to Changbin and Felix, and Minho pulled out a gray, oversized hoodie from his bundle on the floor. He handed the hoodie to Jisung, who was only wearing a t-shirt. He had left his flannel at the annex. 

"Here, put this on. It's getting a bit cold in here." 

Jisung slid the hoodie on quickly. A feeling of warmness enveloped his upper body and his heart.

Section Two: [S e u n g m i n] Eating Well

The clock read 7:30 pm when the bowls of ramen finally arrived at Seungmin and Hyunjin's table. They had been waiting for the bowls to arrive since Seungmin had called Felix 30 minutes earlier, but the long wait was worth it. Throughout the wait, Seungmin and Hyunjin passed time by sending links over text to their favorite songs and tracks. It turns out that they have a more similar taste in music than they had expected. 

The aroma of the ramen made Hyunjin's mouth water, but he waited until Seungmin took the first bite before he started on his bowl. Seungmin sighed in delight after tasting it, and Hyunjin smiled. 

Hyunjin watched carefully as Seungmin savored the distinct flavor. "I knew that this ramen is irresistible, right?" He laughed, making Seungmin grin shyly. The two finished their bowls in silence and savory. Seungmin felt full, and for once he did not immediately regret eating a meal so large because Hyunjin was there making him feel better about it. Hyunjin bought two cans of coke, and they had the cans empty in an instant. Although it was just eating out, Hyunjin was having so much fun and it was visible to Seungmin. Maybe we could eat together more often because it seems to make Hyunjin forget his problems and be happy, Seungmin thought as Hyunjin playfully tilted his head and ruffled his hair. 

Hyunjin nudged Seungmin lightly. "Wanna get some ice cream from the stand outside?" Seungmin thought about it for a second. Wasn't it kind of too cold outside for ice cream? And how is Hyunjin not full yet? There were many reasons for Seungmin to say no, but with handsome Hyunjin leaning towards him and asking so sweetly, Seungmin couldn't bring himself to say no. Hyunjin kindly insisted on paying for the both of them, but Seungmin told Hyunjin that he would pay for the ice cream. The two walked back out, seemingly forgetting about the heavy weight of the bag on their backs because they were such in high spirits at the given time. They marched together across the street and towards an ice cream stand about a block away from the main plaza. 

Seungmin paid for the ice cream just like he had told Hyunjin he would, and they sat on a nearby bench together. 

"I like this," Hyunjin cheered, in between bites. 

"Like what?"

"I like tonight. Studying and then rewarding ourselves after. Seeing you eat and both of us just sitting down and eating good ramen. Eating ice cream after and deliberately forgetting about all my problems. Submerging my worries with things that basically make me... happy!"

Seungmin nodded. His mood brightened even more from Hyunjin's positive mentality. Seungmin began thinking that maybe he needed to learn to be more positive too. 

"So," Hyunjin started. "You listen to a lot of songs with strong rap and power vocals, like me." Seungmin thought about it. He did like listening to songs with vocals that seemed to bring the song together and increase the song's ability to move listeners. 

"Yeah, I guess I do." The two got up and threw the paper wrappers of the ice cream cones away in a nearby trash can. They got up and began walking, and Hyunjin listened to the sounds of their footsteps in sync on the concrete. They ended up walking towards the fountain, no words, just silence between the two as they took in the evening sounds of the plaza, the sounds of their footsteps, and just the comforting presence of each other.

Seungmin received a text from Felix. The text read: "Hi, I am available tomorrow after school again. I can meet you and Hyunjin at the cafe near the plaza. Is 4:15 good?"

Stopping in front of the fountain, the two stood a while in blissful silence. "Hyunjin, is 4:15 tomorrow after school good? Felix said he could meet us at the plaza cafe." Hyunjin nodded eagerly, and Seungmin was able to read his expression easily.  The cafe meant more food and more eating together. Hyunjin was also able to easily get Seungmin to eat for some reason that Hyunjin was unaware of. There was just something about Hyunjin that made Seungmin feel an adrenaline of warmth and goodness like everything was alright in the world. 

Real bliss.

Section Three: [F e l i x] Cafe

Chan was discharged from the hospital on Wednesday morning. Felix had encountered Changbin in the hallways between his classes, and Changbin told Felix that Chan was back at the studio, resting and listening to his favorite playlists. Felix was relieved that Chan was getting some time alone to rest and relax. Felix would have joined Changbin in his secret room today, but Felix had to write down some ideas he had on Hyunjin and Seungmin's topics. Once it was the end of classes, Felix went directly to the cafe. Seungmin and Hyunjin were already there, sharing earbuds but quickly taking them out when Felix approached them. 

"Hi, Felix!" Hyunjin greeted. Seungmin opened his laptop as Felix took a seat.

"Hey, Felix," Seungmin smiled. Felix takes out his notebook to show his ideas to Seungmin and Hyunjin. Hyunjin glanced over the Seungmin, smiling that Felix came with many great ideas that would help them finish the project. Seungmin felt like he was going to melt from Hyunjin's smile. His actions and gestures seemed to have a more and more drastic effect on Seungmin. Felix began explaining his ideas one by one.

"I have a statistic here about social oppression leading to depression and the percentages by age. Maybe if you add this to it you can be able to add analysis about all the negative effects and how it can be prevented," Felix explained, Seungmin beginning to type. Seungmin kept typing as Felix glanced around. He noticed Jisung standing by the pastry displays. Jisung quickly noticed Felix and waved, walking towards him holding a small bag of pastries. His eyes brush another boy doing math problems and holding a pink pencil case before he walks over to Felix. 

"Felix~!"

"Hi, Jisung!"

"I came to buy some pastries from Chan. You've heard, right? He's back at the studio resting! Hehe~ but he was craving something from the cafe and I think his usual drink would be a little harsh on the stomach so I'm just getting him some strawberry pastries."

Felix noticed the two now looking up at Jisung. "Oh, Hyunjin and Seungmin, this is Jisung. Jisung, this is Hyunjin and Seungmin." Felix reviewed his notes as the others began telling each other about themselves. The topic drifted to music, and Jisung told Seungmin and Hyunjin that he rapped in the 3RACHA trio with two other rappers, Chan and Changbin. Seungmin thought back to meeting Changbin when he was talking to Felix at school. Changbin is a rapper? With Jisung?? 

Felix catches bits of the conversation before he gets a text from his mom. Felix, your father is arriving back to Seoul later tonight. Please come back in time to see your father. Be good. Felix's father had been out of Seoul to discuss the terms of the business contract. Felix's sisters were now attending a private school outside of Seoul as well, and they were staying with Felix's relatives. Mr. Lee was a very ambitious man, willing to take any opportunity, such as this one to expand business in Korea, to bring wealth and success to his family. Felix sighed. 

He needs to pretend to be the perfect son, again. 

No. Another thought intruded. 

Stop pretending.