[CONTENTID1]Almost Kisses and Alcohol[/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2]"It will be worth it, if in the end I manage to blank out whatever it is that is doing the damage." [/CONTENTID2]

[CONTENTID3]Yeseul lay on her back, book in hand – this one wasn't for school, just some light reading to keep her sane while she plowed through odes for her Elements of Poetic Language class – tapping an uneven rhythm against her bare stomach with her pen. She was only partially dressed for the party, but wasn't in any rush to rummage through her clothes for a top. Her hair was still wet from her late afternoon shower and she'd only gotten as far as putting on a bra, underwear, and jeans before leaping onto her bed to read. 

Most people probably considered reading a strange pre-party activity. But it was the best way Yeseul knew to pass the time if she wasn't in the mood to browse Netflix. There wasn't much else to be done then, becuase Baekhyun had something on until six and Serin wasn't coming over until eight-thirty, just before they'd leave as a trio for Kim Joonmyun's house. She'd been all alone in the flat since Chanyeol left, with nothing but time on her hands. Despite her brilliant full night to sleep, Yeseul's body was drained after Chanyeol's departure. So she'd decided against a run and settled for isolating herself up in her room. 

Though she was tired all over again, she allowed herself a little bit of pride for not getting into a full fledged shouting match with him. Keeping her temperament in check was a huge achievement, especially where Chanyeol was concerned. The only problem was, she realised long after he left the apartment, where would her anger go now? Yeseul couldn't exactly have a row with the wall. The idea of it being stuck inside her, brewing, only made the possibility of an explosion greater. 

Maybe with a little bit more sleep and a little bit less stress she wouldn't be angry at all. 

But that was wishful thinking, and Yeseul knew it. 

Ten minutes before Baekhyun was due home, Yeseul finished getting dressed. As soon as she'd put on a top, she leapt right back into bed and picked up where she'd left off in her book. 

There was a grunt and some rustling in the foyer when Baekhyun arrived. Yeseul guessed he'd picked up takeaway on his way home. Instead of going down the corridor, Baekhyun came straight into Yeseul's room and dumped the paper bag unceremoniously on the bed between her legs, the receipt stapled to it indicated he'd gone into their favourite Chinese place. "Hwang Yeseul!" he cried, clapping his hand on her foot, right over the crown tattoo. "How's my favourite girl?" 

One of her eyebrows quirked. "Since when am I your favourite?" 

"There's never been a contest," Baekhyun replied, perching on the edge of the bed. He opened up the bag and pulled out a box, offering it to Yeseul. "Egg roll?" 

She propped herself up against the headboard before taking one. "Thanks." 

"Are you ready? This party's going to be insane, I just know it." 

"Every party you go to is insane because you get drunk as hell," Yeseul reminded him with a grin. 

Baekhyun eyed her suspiciously. "You're in an awfully good mood today." 

"Working on it." 

"Really?" Baekhyun's eyes were big and full of hope. 

Yeseul shrugged. "All I needed was a couple nights of decent sleep to remind me how exhausting it is being angry all the time. Obviously I'm never gonna be like you, you big ball of sunshine, but I can be a little bit more like me, with time." 

Baekhyun was beaming, like the literally ball of sunshine he was. "This is the best news I've had in weeks! I bet Serin will be proud of you, Yeseul. Sehunnie too." 

"Yeah, yeah. Stop it or I'm gonna kick you." 

Despite the very serious threat, Baekhyun let out a whoop. While they ate on Yeseul's bed, Baekhyun rambled on about his day. For the last three hours he'd been in a meeting with the other Model UN Chairs, and had a rather awkward run in with the first year girl he'd nearly slept with, since she was someone's assistant or intern or something. Yeseul stopped listening then, uninterested in Baekhyun's uncanny ability to it up with every girl he met, and manage to get away with it anyway. Before he could get into the specifics of the tutoring session with this first year who was a second Byun Baekhyun in the making – being tutored by this Byun Baekhyun had only cemented his future, in Yeseul's opinion – she cut him off with the announcement that they'd be missing the evening news if they didn't move this second. It was a very effective strategy with Baekhyun, since he was obsessed with being up on current affairs. 

Relocating themselves and their foor into the living room, Yeseul put on the kettle and waited in teh kitchen with a box of fried rice and watched Baekhyun watch the news. He managed to look interested in the economic report, and even put down his food to pay close attention when a foreign correspondent came on to talk about something happening in America. 

Long after Yeseul had made her tea and eaten her food, Baekhyun sat and watched the news. He was still in there when Serin arrived an hour later, earlier than she had said she would. By then Yeseul had done her makeup and was back to reading in her room, headphones in and film scores blasting to block out the loud TV two rooms over. Since her door was cracked open, Yeseul saw Serin in the same moment the other girl knocked. She took out one earbud and offered up a smile, adjusting her posture and shutting her book with a pen as a bookmark. Even when it wasn't for school, Yeseul had a habit of annotating her books. 

She couldn't even bring herself to be offended. 

"Hi," Serin gave Yeseul a wide, red-lipped smile, and slid into the room. She was dressed for spring, not autumn, in a loose cream dress, a denim jacket, and the scuffed black oxfords she wore absolutely everywhere, regardless of the weather. "Have you eaten?" 

"There might be some extra takeaway, if Baekhyun hasn't eaten it all," Yeseul said. 

"Back in a second." Serin disappeared, and Yeseul faintly heard Baekhyun and her converse over the television. She was back a minute later, picking leftover dumplings out of the box with chopsticks. Her nails were painted a dark green today. Yeseul wondered how Serin had the patience to paint her nails so often, then realised what a silly thought it was. Serin had the patience for everything. "What did you get up to today?" 

Yeseul held up her book in response, and Serin raised her eyebrows knowingly. "I also made some important life decisions." 

"Baekhyun mentioned something about not being so angry all the time?" Serin said, taking a bite out of a dumpling. 

"Seems like it'd be less tiring," Yeseul replied. 

"That's good," Serin said. But then she frowned. "Has it been worse than usual? I know it was bad after the break up, but I thought things might have improved with time." 

Yeseul stared at her hands. "Not much better, but not the worst. My neck's been feeling a bit wonky, but I think I might just need a new pillow or something." 

Serin made a face. "You could see a doc–" 

"No doctors," Yeseul said firmly. 

Running a hand through her hair, Serin heaved a sigh and let the subject drop. Instead, she told Yeseul about work and her acute hatred for all things 'pumpkin spiced', which she considered to be the most useless flavour of all time, especially when it didn't even contain pumpkin. 

"You sound like me," Yeseul observed, once her friend's rant was over. 

"Pumpkin spice deserves it," Serin muttered, and ate another dumpling. 

Because Serin was early, they lingered in the apartment until a more reasonable time to arrive at Joonmyun's. Baekhyun was adamant on the benefits of pre-drinking, so they did three rounds of shots and headed out. 

Joonmyun's house was at the heart of the student residential district, closer to campus than where Baekhyun and Yeseul lived. There were dorms right on the edge of campus, and the houses beyond that, while not official, university approved housing, were mostly populated with students anyway due to the proximity to classes and non-students not wanting to live there becuase of all the partying. There were some, like Yeseul and her friends, that lived further away for that same reason. 

Though she doubted he was the only one who lived there, everyone always referred to it as Kim Joonmyun's house, Kim Joonmyun's party, like he was some kind of brand. It was impossible to know how many occupants there actually were, anyway, because several of the doors were locked whenever a big party was thrown. It was a sizable house, the biggest on its block. As was the nature of student housing, it wasn't as nice as the ones further away from campus, especially with all the ruckus that went on inside. 

They had timed their arrival well; bodies were already packed inside when Baekhyun threw open the front door. A drunk boy stumbled out of the way in the foyer, throwing a dirty look at them as they left their coats with all the others and made sure nothing valuable was left inside. Baekhyun was gone almost immediately, spotting someone from his course in the front room, where music thudded from an elaborate speaker system and echoed through the rest of the house. Yeseul and Serin silently decided they needed more alcohol in order to accept the fact that they were now surrounded by people that they mostly did not like (the difference being that Serin was much more polite about it) and made their way to the kitchen, the traditional spot for all things beverage-related. 

Yeseul and Serin found Kyungsoo in the kitchen, chatting with a few of his law school friends. Yeseul could tell they weren't his football friends, because these guys had that clever, privileged air to them she'd come to associate with law students. The ones Kyungsoo was friends with, at least. The footballers were usually rowdier and almost always arguing about, predictably, football. 

"All right?" Kyungsoo asked, when the girls walked over.

Yeseul shrugged and Serin graciously ignored one of Kyungsoo's friends who was eyeing her bare legs in a not-so-subtle manner, in a way that Yeseul herself would never be able to do. 

"No Sehun?" Yeseul asked, accepting the beer Serin had grabbed for her.

Kyungsoo shook his head. "He's got a work thing that needs finishing by the morning." 

"And Sumin didn't feel like coming without him?" 

"She's visiting her parents," Kyungsoo explained. "Just us tonight." 

At that, Yeseul's eyebrows shot up. But it was Serin who asked. "What about Chanyeol?" 

"Oh, well, Chanyeol's here," Kyungsoo said. Yeseul grimaced before taking a long drink. "Been stuck talking to some girl for the last half hour, as far as I know. I haven't seen him since she dragged him off. He looked miserable about it. I think they used to date or something." 

Suddenly, Yeseul felt a lot better. The idea of Chanyeol in his own personal hell – talking to a girl, the horror – caused a flicker of pleasure in her. Besides, if he was stuck with this girl all night, it'd be much easier for her to avoid arguing with him. "Maybe she'll keep him occupied," she said hopefully. 

Kyungsoo shrugged, starting to turn back to his friends. "Maybe." 

Once they'd finished their drinks, Yeseul and Serin returned to the front room and joined the pack of bodies swaying along to the music. It was some kind of club music, exactly the sort of thing Yeseul expected Joonmyun would listen to. While they danced, a few guys tried to come between them, usually going for Serin with her red lips and short dress. But, as with many things between them, it was an unspoken rule that Yeseul kept those boys away. Though Serin was perfectly capable of defending herself if it came down to it, Yeseul was simply better at it. A glare was usually enough, but some of them needed a more physical alternative. If they were smart enough, they left after that. There had been a few instances of Yeseul's less favourite kind of person (presumptuous, thick-headed guys) getting the message even after she'd elbowed them in the ribs, but the two friends didn't like to talk about that. 

While they danced, Yeseul could feel the tension in her muscles loosen just a little bit. Enough that she didn't feel like she was so tightly wound that she wouldn't be able to stop herself from snapping in two. It was a brief feeling, but a nice one, sort of like how she'd felt this morning after a restful sleep. Yeseul wondered – as she gently turned herself and Serin around with a hand on the other girl's waist, away from Kyungsoo's friend from earlier who had appeared out of nowhere – how long it would be before the feeling lasted longer than an hour. 

Across the room, Yeseul found Baekhyun's gaze. He'd already seen them, a look she didn't quite understand on his face. But when their eyes met the expression cleared, and the usual cheerful Baekhyun smile returned. With a subtle (or as subtle as Baekhyun could manage) shift of his chin and raising his eyebrows, Baekhyun directed Yeseul's attention to the corner, where Chanyeol had one shoulder slouched against a wall. Though the expression on his face didn't show any particular emotion, he was leaning towards a girl that Yeseul's might have flirted with if she wasn't already talking to Chanyeol, and drinking something that must've been very strong by the way his forehead wrinkled whenever he took a sip. Baekhyun looked impressed, he probably would have gone after the girl too, but Yeseul was just pleased that Chanyeol was preoccupied and couldn't bother her. 

"–oilet," Serin said, bringing Yeseul's attention back to her. "I'll find you in a bit, okay?" 

"Sure." Yeseul decided when her friend had vanished into another room that she was done with dancing, and was set on acquiring another drink. She managed to squeeze her way out of the makeshift dance area, frowning at a girl who knocked into her and didn't even bother to apologize. 

She turned back around, and suddenly she was standing right in front of him, like he's stepped in her path just so they'd have a conversation. Yeseul wasn't particularly in the mood to talk to Kiseong – their conversations since the break-up had been tense and clumsy, filled with awkward silences and heavy sighs, like it usually went when you were trying to find some kind of balance with the person who'd seen you on numerous occasions but with whom you didn't really have anything in common – but here he was, smiling at her in an innocent, friendly way. Yeseul knew Kiseong's moves well enough by now to recognise that this was not one of them, and breathed an internal sigh of relief. 

"Yeseul," he said, his eyes crinkling at the corners. Kiseong wasn't the tallest of guys, but he had a charming smile, lov