At this point sticking to my schedule has become so unrealistic, you'd think I don't even have one. But HA! I do. I just at time management.

Anyway - I hope you've been enjoying the story so far, and after a long wait, I present you chapter 7:

               There was no such thing as happiness. I was convinced of that. At least not for me. Boiling with anger I turned around and walked away from the now empty hall that was so magical just a few nights ago. Maybe I wasn’t actually angry with him, but more with myself, because I was the one who got my expectations up. And now I got disappointed. I wasn’t used to that. I always got everything I wanted, so why - why did this one thing slip out of my grasp? Or… did I ever really have it? I didn’t even know his name, and yet, my heart ached thinking about those sweet words he whispered - that we’d see each other again - that we’d meet again under the moonlight. As I wandered through the streets shrouded in hopeless darkness, my hand formed a fist and without thinking I punched the concrete wall right next to me. For a second I felt a little calmer, but with the pain in my knuckles, the pain in my chest returned as well. The skin at the back of my hand and fingers was torn open where it had made contact with the rough surface of the wall and drops of blood were forming. I wiped them into my pants, but the next portion was soon flowing out. This time ignoring it, I kept walking around. To top it all off, I had to admit after a few minutes that I got lost. I took out my phone to search for a way home, but had no reception.

               “What is it with this ing day?!” I cursed, hitting yet another wall, making the wounds on my hand even worse. No… maybe it wasn’t this day in particular that was so bad… maybe my life had gone down the drain at a much earlier point. But what could I possibly do about that now…? The past was in the past and my future had already been decided. I felt like I couldn’t escape from this life, no matter how much I wanted to.

               Searching for a handkerchief or anything to wrap my bloody hand in, my fingers found their way to the pocket of my jacket. I took out the lavender I had stored in there ever since he gave it to me. I brought it to my nose and inhaled the aromatic scent, sudden calmness washing over me. One of the little flowers fell to the ground, dancing softly in the air before landing on the dirty asphalt. I bent down to pick it back up and stopped to look at the fragile little thing now sitting on my fingertip. That was when an idea struck me. It was ridiculous, that I had to admit, but… it seemed like the only way to escape from this fate that had been bound up onto my shoulders since day one.

               When I arrived back home, I started planning immediately. I wrote the letter to my friends and family. I packed a bunch of essential things I might need along with the last envelope containing my allowance my parents had sent me, and stuffed a pair of shoes on top of it all, along with the train tickets I had booked on a fake name. When I walked out of my apartment that day, I purposely left the key in the lock outside. I wouldn’t come back here anymore anyway. Then I found my way to one of the bridges crossing the river Han, where I made sure nobody saw as I set down the extra pair of shoes I brought with me. This should have them think I killed myself at least for long enough that I could escape and settle down elsewhere…

               The following few months involved getting used to life in a new city, working part-time jobs, and finding a place to stay. I met people on the streets and made a deal with a man who turned out to be a gangster, to join his faction in exchange for a tiny flat - which, to be honest, was better than sleeping under a bridge. The years passed, and our gang went through an internal battle, resulting in us splitting into two, forcing me to choose who to side with. Kwangseok, who I owe most of my positive experiences in this city to, but who eventually was the reason for this mess, or the guys who wouldn’t really accept me in the beginning because of me being female, but who tried to settle the fight with talking? In the end I sided with none of them, choosing to walk my own path, ending up all alone yet again. So I rethought my objectives. I had spent the last few years living in the moment and just for myself. I experienced a selfish lifestyle, enjoying my freedom, but without people to celebrate it with that quickly lost its meaning. I had to decide what I wanted to do with my life. I couldn’t go back to studying, that was all I knew. So I decided to stay in the shadows, and do good things from a hidden position. I began tracking down criminals and disposing of them one by one. On the news, the sudden decay of criminal activity caused by this was called a miracle, the people wondered about this soon to be called “Mystery Man” behind my doings, but weren’t exactly unhappy about it.

               And then I ended up here - in the fangs of those that I had planned to extinguish - amongst a group of three criminals, who are said to have the same goal as me, but now my trust in them was suddenly shaken. Just as I’m about to turn around and jump down the wall I’m sitting on, separating the river from the pavement, someone calls out to me.

               “Come back… please” he says, in a rather calm voice. I didn’t expect them to run after me, but if there’s one of them who I expected the least, it’s definitely him.

               “Why?” I ask. “You don’t trust me anymore.”

               “That’s not true!” he argues. “Maybe Minhyuk was a little rough earlier. But he gave you a second chance, didn’t he?”

               “Oh, so you eavesdropped on our conversation?”

               “I just… happened to hear the last part…” he stutters. “Is it that important?”

               “No… not anymore” I mutter. My feet meet the ground and I wonder if I should just walk away and leave him standing there on his own. However, if there was one of them who would understand me, it would probably be him. “I can’t go back like this” I say.

               “Why not? We’re on your side - me and Jihoon.”

               “What does that do when your leader despises me?”

               “He doesn’t” Yukwon says. “He really doesn’t.”

               “What is it then? It feels to me like he’s holding some ancient grudge against me.”

               “...I can’t answer that. But I don’t think that’s it, since you haven’t exactly known each other for longer than a few days” the guy in front of me says. “Y/N” he calls out my name and holds out his hand. “Come back with me.” I stare at his palm. I feel torn at this moment. Do I walk away? Do I give them a second chance and hope the missile does the same for me?

               “I’m sorry…” I say, taking a step back. He follows and takes my hand, squeezing it tightly. I sense him staring right into my eyes, even though I’m avoiding his look.

               “Y/N. We still have the same goal, right?”

               “Says the one who goes around murdering innocent women and even underage girls…?” I bark back, hoping he would accept defeat, but he doesn’t back off. Instead, he makes sure to stare at me even more intently, when suddenly Pyo comes running from behind.

               “There you are!” he shouts from afar and seeing his worried face, I feel my heart drop. Is this my fault...?

               “What are you doing here?” Yukwon turns around and asks. Pyo comes to a halt a few steps away from us and puts his hands to his knees, panting heavily. When he caught his breath, his eyes focus on me.

               “They were attacked…”

               “Who…?” I want to add some snarky comment to that, but his answer comes too soon.

               “Echo. Apparently they’re all…” It feels as if all air was out of my lungs at once. My throat becomes tight and I have to concentrate on my breathing to make sure I get enough oxygen.

               “By who?” Yukwon’s grip becomes loose and I free myself, walking over to Pyo and grabbing his shoulders strongly. “Who attacked them?”

               “Not some gang apparently… it’s said it was the police…” he explained.

               “Where did you get that information?”

               “Our leader told me.”

               “The missile…? I need to talk to him” I say, then remembering I wasn’t sure whether to return to the butcher’s shop or not. But… I need to know what happened to Echo… Did they just arrest them or… did they kill them? At the mere thought, I feel even more like throwing up. So I make my decision. With Yukwon and Pyo following me closely, I make my way back as fast as I possibly can.

               “What do you know?” I yell as I walk through the entrance of the shop. The missile is in the process of serving a customer and her child, who both shoot me a confused look as I enter so energetically. Pyo walks behind the counter.

               “I’m taking over here” he announces as he puts on an apron and plastic gloves. The confused look the missile gives him for just a second is priceless and I would’ve laughed if I didn’t currently have other worries. “I think you should explain to her what you saw” Pyo urges his leader on, who finally gives in and shoots me a look to tell me I should come with him to the back. With quick steps I run after him.

               “What is it you saw?” I ask, not even trying to hide my worries at this point. While he does shoot me a suspicious look, he begins to explain.

               “It was on my morning stroll, when I saw some kind of special forces storm a building that looked shady… turns out that was Echo’s hideout. I didn’t stay there for long enough to know how the situation ended, since i didn’t want them to go after me too.”

               “Was there more you saw? Just, anything!” I push him to give me all the information he has.

               “...are you sure you aren’t still on their side?” he throws me a question, crossing his arms in front of his chest and straightening his back.

               “I… I’m on my own side. I just don’t want to see them get hurt…” I say.

               “Just what are those guys to you…?” the missile silently asks.

               “They were my family…” I earn a surprised look. Not suspicious, not angry, just surprised. “Before I joined them… I wasn’t in such a good place. Well, that was back before they and Moth split up.”

               “The guy… Kwangseok… how much did he have to do with this?” the leader dares to pry.

               “He was the one who originally picked me up from the streets right after…” I hesitate as I realize I’m about to pour out my heart to this guy - even though he greatly distrusts me by now.

               “...after what?”

               “After I faked my own death.”

               I earn a stare. Long and painfully piercing.

               “You did… what?” he finally comes out with the usual reaction.

               “I faked my own death after my parents forced me to study medicine and be their little toy to follow in their footsteps.”

               “To get away…?” he asks, the shock still visible on his face.

               “Well, why else would I pretend that I killed myself, stupid?”

               “Right…” he sighs, looking away from me. “So this is why…”

               “Why what…?” What is he on about? A weird feeling creeps up my spine, but I push it away. No… that can’t be…

               “The guys from Echo... “ he starts another sentence but then breaks off. He lifts his hand, but lets it hang in the air, as if unsure whether to touch me or not. Heavily swallowing, his eyes once again meet mine, with a look in them I have never seen from him. “Kwangseok… was one of the first people they shot.”

               I stare at him blankly. My chest feels as if it had been ripped open and emptied out completely - like a black hole everything up. Kwangseok is… dead? I turn around mechanically.

               “Wait…!” the missile calls out to me.

               “They will pay… Whoever did that to him… I will make them pay.”