DAY TWELVE

Hyunjin wondered what her life would be like if she could just tell the truth. It would probably be much easier, if she could bring herself to say what she wanted to say.

Heejin darted past her, a little more talkative now that she’d become more comfortable with Hyunjin’s tiny coastal home. Hyunjin might have been a pureblood, but her parents lived modestly, without the riches Heejin had grown up with. Hyunjin smiled as Heejin brushed the knots out of her hair. The two of them had always made an odd couple. That’s what all the grown-ups said, anyway.

“So, this festival thing...you want me to go with you?”

More than anything in the world, she wanted to reply. But her stomach was fluttering and her hands were sweaty, her tongue confused. So instead, she just said, “Yes. It’s nice,” like a goddamn robot.

She’s never going to notice you that way if you keep it up.

Heejin smiled, that same bright ray of sunshine that Hyunjin knew and loved dearly.

“I’ll be there!”

You have to let her know.

Hyunjin shook her head. She wanted to tell her. She wanted to let her know. But she couldn’t just tell her best friend that she loved her out of nowhere.

Their conversations had degenerated into Heejin talking and Hyunjin responding in monosyllables. She was too afraid to let her know how she felt, how she really felt.

It was hard to tell exactly when it had started. When her feelings for her friend had ceased being platonic and crossed over into the romantic. It might have been over the winter break. Seeing her friend in such genuine distress had made her realize something deep inside had changed.

It was scary, carrying something like that inside of you, like a nuclear bomb. If Hyunjin chose the wrong moment, if she said the wrong thing, that would be it for the two of them. Heejin would never talk to her again.

Hyunjin did her best to put it out of her mind. They had a festival to get ready for, after all. She opened the only closet in the room the two of them were currently sharing. Her house only had two bedrooms and Hyunjin refused to let Heejin sleep on the couch. So they had worked out this arrangement. It was fine….

Hyunjin pulled a banana yellow dress out of the closet and held it up to he”r chest.

“What do you think?”

What do you think of me?

Heejin smiled. “I think that that shade of yellow wouldn’t work for anyone but you.”

Hyunjin blushed, her body suddenly flushed with heat. Why was she like this? It hadn’t been this way before. She nodded. “Thank you. Um...I’m gonna go change in the bathroom.” Heejin gave her a strange look as she walked into the restroom to change.

Gosh, you;ve blown it!

The two of them left the house forty-five minutes later. Heejin insisted on holding her hand, despite her protests.

“What’s up with you? You’re acting weird!”

Hyunjin shook her head. “It’s nothing.”

What do you think of me? It’s a simple question, even a dummy like you should be able to spit it out.

Hyunjin remained silent, all the way to the town square. Banners in all colors of the rainbow were hung up on lampposts. They swayed gently in the soft summer wind. Stalls of all descriptions were set up around the square, selling various kinds of garments, foods and assorted knick-knacks. The only thing Hyunjin was interested in was the food.

She dragged Heejin over to the nearest stall, where she ordered a funnel cake with strawberries on top. It was her favorite thing at the town’s summer festival, and she was eager to share it with Heejin.

“Woah, that looks nice! Mmm, it smells even better!”

Hyunjin smiled and dug into the soft, airy pastry with her fork. Heejin followed suit, and the fried delicacy was gone in minutes.

Heejin flashed her a satisfied grin. “You’re gonna make me fat, if you keep feeding me like you have been!”

“You deserve proper meals after...well, you know.” Hyunjin stared grimly at the empty plate. “You deserve a lot more than that, Heejin. You deserve everything.”

Heejin raised her eyebrows. “It’s been a long time since anyone said that to me.” She gazed at the checkerboard tablecloth. “Thank you.”

Hyunjin put her hand over Heejin’s. “Always.”

Heejin suddenly looked up, right into Hyunjin’s eyes. Hyunjin’s heart beat rapidly in her chest. She was looking at her--really looking into her. What did she see, Hyunin wondered.

“What do you think of me?”

Hyunjin gasped and clapped her hand over . She hadn’t meant to just blurt it out like that...but now it was too late. The words were out there.

Heejin tilted her head. “What do you mean? You’re my best friend. You’re a good person and you make me happy. What else do you want to know?”

Hyunjin froze. You make me happy. Did that mean….no, probably not. Hyunjin was just fooling herself, again. But maybe…

No, I was just curious. Because…” Just say it. “I just wanted to know if you maybe felt a certain way about me.”

Heejin raised a quizzical eyebrow. “A certain way? What are you talking about?”

Hyunjin buried her face in her hands. This was so dumb. She wished she could turn back time and stop herself from ever speaking.

“It’s just…”

Hyunjin bit her lip.

“I think I’m in love with you, and I have been for a really long time.”

Hyunjin’s heart pumped relentlessly in her chest. She felt like she was going to explode. It was finally out there. All that was left was for Heejin to make a decision.

Heejin’s face was completely blank. It was if Hyunjin’s declaration had sent her running to the back of her mind. Hyunjin frowned.

Heejin leaned forward and Hyunjin cringed, sure the other girl was going to slap her. Instead, she gently the side of her face. Hyunjin gasped. “What are you doing?”

“Admiring you. That’s what girlfriends do, right?”

Hyunjin laughed, a shocked, nervous giggle. There was no way this was real. But she didn’t care. She loved it. And she loved Heejin.

Nothing could change that.