DAY FIFTY-EIGHT

“And you’re sure there’s nothing else you can do?”

The doctor shook his head. Chaewon felt her heart sink deep, into the darkest part of her soul.

The doctor folded his fingers together underneath his chin and looked at Chaewon over the rim of his glasses with compassionate blue eyes. Chaewon wished she could call them comforting.

“It appears the curse is genetic. Passed on matrilineally. Someone very nasty put this curse on your mother’s mother. Whoever did it is likely dead by now.” Still not comforting. “Chaewon, you shouldn’t give up on life because of this. You’ve still got years left to live.” Chaewon continued her silence. He didn’t know that. He couldn’t know that.

“I’m sorry, Chaewon. I know it’s not what you wanted to hear. But curses are difficult things to cure...especially secondhand ones from generations past. And this is tough to say, but you need to hear it. You need to accept it if you want to live in the time you have left. You will die before you reach the age of thirty.”

Chaewon sharply in air between her teeth. She couldn’t maintain eye contact with the doctor. She couldn’t do this. She was only fourteen. She pulled her purse over her shoulder and stomped out of the office, slamming the door shut behind her before Doctor Wainscott could protest.

Her dad was waiting for her outside. It was a rare moment when the two of them were in the same room together, but he’d come through for this. He’d been attending her diligently ever since her mom, his wife, died. She had to give him credit for that.

“So, how did it go?”

Chaewon shook her head. Her dad’s face fell. She turned away before she could soak in his pain. She had enough on her plate with her own suffering without adding on her dad’s.

She put her hand in his and the two of them apparated in front of their little cottage in the hills. Chaewon had spent many empty nights in this very house, with no one to keep her company but her cat, Emmett. She didn’t bother speaking to her dad as she made her way into the house and then into her mint green bedroom.

She slammed her head into her pillow and cried.

She was awoken a few hours later by the roaring of the fireplace. She opened her eyes to see the flames rise higher and higher until they were suddenly extinguished by a figure stepping through.

Sooyoung stood up to her full height and then she sneezed. “AH-CHOO!” Chaewon leaped back on her bed, startled by the sudden intrusion and loud sneezing. “Sorry, Floo powder always angers my sinuses.”

Chaewon looked around incredulously. “What are you doing here?”

Sooyoung pressed her eyebrows together and looked at the edge of Chaewon’s mattress. “Your dad called me. He said you needed someone. That you were going through something rough.” Chaewon stared at Sooyoung’s shoulders, refusing to make eye contact. “It wasn’t his right to contact you, to tell you about--” Sooyoung held up a hand, instantly quieting her protests. “He didn’t tell me anything. Now--” She crouched down and looked Chaewon directly in the eye, one hand in each of hers. “Are you going to tell me what’s going on?”

Chaewon averted her eyes once more. “I’m sorry. It’s s-stupid. I’ve wasted your time.” Sooyoung put her hands on either side of Chaewon’s face and gently directed her gaze back to her. Sooyoung’s eyes were warm and compassionate. She was good at that. Almost as good as Haseul. “I’m sure it’s not stupid, Chaewon. Now, you know you can tell me anything. Anything.”

Chaewon nodded. She gulped and started to talk.

“So, I saw the doctor today. My mom died...she died because of a curse. Isn’t that funny? She didn’t even know she had one. Her own mom…my grandmom had died so early...she didn’t get a chance to pass on that knowledge. Well, I guess I know now. I’m destined to die before I reach the age of thirty. What kind of...I just don’t…” She didn’t break down, but she bordered on it.

Sooyoung her back and hummed soothingly. She was good with her voice. Chaewon wished she could be as good. Well, she wished for a lot of things.

“Thank you for coming. I needed this. You helped me clear my head. But I think I need to be alone right now.” Sooyoung nodded and exited the room the same way she had come in, through the fireplace.

Chaewon was alone, again. It was a common enough experience. But for whatever reason, she didn’t feel as alone as she had before. It wasn’t just Sooyoung’s visit...the ocean of turmoil within her had settled. It was at rest.

Chaewon pulled herself to her feet and parted the curtains at her window.  The sky’s inky blackness was broken only by the pinpricks of light known as stars and the perfect crescent shape of the moon. Beautiful.

What was it Yeojin had written? Our scars are our beauty? Well, Chaewon certainly had her fair share of scars. But she was alive.

That was it. That’s what Sooyoung had reminded her of. She was alive. She had friends. The world hadn’t ended. It would end for her one day, but that day wasn’t today. Or tomorrow, probably.

She had time to spend, and she should spend it smiling.

You’re a good person, Chaewon. You should be proud of yourself. Your mom would be proud of you.

Chaewon wiped the tears from underneath her eyes. No tears now. Face front. You don’t have time to wallow in self-pity.

Get up.

Do something nice.

You never know when it might end.