INTRODUCTION

Jung Ewon (Aeon Rhodes)

I know I should have warned you that breakup was coming, but, honestly, it hurts like a motherer either way and I didn't want to bring you down, so I figured tearing the Band-Aid off would be the least painfull approach. As for me, well, about the only good thing I can say about the next few years in my life is that struggle and pain breed art. So my heart was broken, my soul fractured, but I danced well. Totally worth it right? Yeah, I never thought so either. ing , but I survived. Bear with me here, and I'll tell you how.

I'm going to skip the gory, miserable because you do't want to know about how many nights I cried and how many s I dated. You don't want to hear about the times I walked along the street in the middle of the night and ing screamed, or about how more than once, I fell to my knees and wondered if I was actually bleeding inside because it hurt so bad. And even if you do want to know about that time in my life, I honestly don't think I can dredge it up without getting depressed all over again, which is not something I'm willing to endure. So trust me when I tell you that my emotional state and my personal life were dreary and ty and ing pathetic for a long time.

But then one night, out of nowhere, a beam of light came in. Well, maybe that's not the best description because it makes him sound angelic, which is a piss-poor analogy for a man who rarely smiled, thought everyone on earth was annoying, and carried so much anger and pain inside him the he made my depressed soul seem joy-filled. But despite all that, there was something about him that drew me, something that made me feel an emotion other than misery and pain, something that gave me a glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe my heart wasn't completely dead. Hiss name was Ok Taecyeon, and the next picture in the album is one I took the night I met him.

My friend Sandara and I walked into a bar-yes, I realize this sounds like the beginning of a bad joke, and there were times it felt that way. Anyway, we walked into the bar, and some girl neither of us had ever met came running over, waving one of those disposable cameras.

"You guys! You guys! Can you take our picture? Pleaaaase?"

Noona was drunk as a motherin' skunk. Her shirt was stained with unidentifiable substances, and her skirt was twisted around and rucked up dangerously high. I mean, if she had sat on a barstool at that point, she'd have had to make sure her undewear  was providing good coverage or else she'd have gotten intimately familiar with whatever was on there.

"Sure." Sandara said "No problem." Then she looked at me expectantly.

I chuckled and said "Sure. Give me the camera."

"Thank you!" she squealed as she threw her arms around me and gave me a hug "I totally owe you!" I had no idea what she owed me or how I could collect, but I figured it didn't matter because by morning she'd forget all about me and be praying to the porcelain god "Here." she handed me the camera and then hustled back to her friends.

"Want to hold your bag?" Sandara asked, gesturing to my dance bag. I had just left rehearsal and didn't have time to go home and change before meeting Sandara for our biweekly catch-up session. 

"Sure. Thanks." I gave her my bag and walked over to the group of people.

Judging by the way they were sawying and their bleary eyes, I gathered the whole lot of them was toasted. But they were happy drunks, laughing and smiling and wrapping their arms around each other affectionately.

"Okay, get a little closer together so I can fit you all in the frame."I gestured with my hand as I spoke. When I had them situated so that they all fit, I brought the camera up my face "Okay, on the count of three. One, two...." I tried to snap the picture. Thried being the operative word.

"Uh, I think you're out of film here." I held the camera out to Drunk Noona.

"Oh, no!" she looked positively crestfallen "We have to take a picture. We have to!" she turned to her friends and sounded frantic as she asked "Does anybody have a camera? You guys! Do any of you have a camera?"

When nobody handed over a camera, her lip trembled, and I thought she was wasted enough to start crying, so I quickly said "I have one. I can use mine, okay?" I flicked my gaze to Sandara. "It's in my bag. Can you please grab it for me?"

"You do?" Drunk Noona looked awestruck, as if I'd said I hade a time machine or a spaceship or Dolce & Gabbana's entire summer collection in my bag "You guys, he has a camera!" she shouted gleefully as she trew herself back into her clustered group of friends "The cute guy has a camera!"

Sandara was cracking up and I wasa chuckling as I brought my camera up my face.

"To the end of our second year!" Drunk Noona screamed, pumping her hand in the air.

"Only one more year to go!" someone else threw in.

"I'm totally trashed!" a third person added.

I looked through the viewfinder, gave them the countdown, and took the shot. Later, when I saw the picture, I noticed him at the edge of the group, standing as far as possible without being standoffish and smiling in a way the looked more like a grimace. His neatly combed black hair, ramrod straigh posture, and dark-brown eyes, focused right on the camera, told me he hadn't been drinking as long or as much as the rest of his crew, which made sense to me once I got to know him and realized he was a  complete control freak. He's a big guy and he tends to tower over everyone, that night was no exception. Plus, he has some pockmarks on his face, barely visible but still there scars from acne in his youth, which give him an intimidating appearance. Though most people wouldn't have described Taecyeon as handsome, his intensity, his strength, and that bit of rough in his voice made him y as hell i my book.

It isn't the most flattering photo I have of Taecyeon, but it is the best reflection of the man I met that night. There were times later when I thought I snuck in under the cool exterior, times I thought the heat between us would melt all that ice away for good. But when I think of him back then, back when it all began, that rough, aloof guy is who I see in my head. So that picture of Taecyeon clustered at a bar with his law school classmates is the next one I'm putting in the album.

Ok Taecyeon

The second he waled into the bar, I knew he was gay. No straight guy would wear mint-green pants or a sleeveless white shirt, both tight enough to show everything underneath. And then there was his hair. Not the color, which was a rich, shine brown. But the way he had it cut-long on the sides and even longer on the top, and styled in a whirl thing. We were in a bar, so the lighting wasn't great, but when I peered at his lips, I was pretty sure he had something on them to make them look so shiny and soft. And maybe his eyelashes too, because they couldn't be that long naturally.

I was willing to bet the guy got his kicked on a regural basis, looking like that. Not that I condoned violence, but I figured he was asking for it. Otherwise he could have dialed down the whole 'I'm here, I'm queer' look.

When I came out to my family, they were shocked. I was too strong, too big, too masculine to be gay. That's what they said. Two years and twenty-five million miles later, they still refused to accept the fact that I wouldn't sameday walk into my parents' house with a woman on my arm. But I knew it wan't going to happen, no matter how many times my mother cried or my father gave me the cold shoulder.

People like him were what my family thought of when they heard the word 'gay'-the high laugh, the perfectly arched eyebrows, the slim, tight body on display in those flashy clothes. I hated being lumped in with those types of guys because I was nothing like them-I looked like a normal guy. The way I saw it, wanting to be with a man meant wanting to be with a man, and I couldn't relate to somebody like that-someone frilly who flounced and sashayed and might as well have had rainbows and glitter coming out of his . But for some inexplicable reason, I couldn't take my eyes off him.

When the flaming photographer finally finished dealing with the camera crisis and snapped the picture, Yuri, a woman from my con law class said "Thank you so much!" she bounced over to him, stood really close, and put her hand on his chest. It would been funny, watching her bark so hard up the wrong tree, but instead of laughing, I found myself frowning. And walking toward them.

"I'm Kwon Yuri." she said "What's your name?" I couldn't be sure from my angle, but it looked like she was fluttering her lashes.

"I'm Aeon Rhodes." his blue eyes twinkled as he gestured toward the woman who'd walked in with him "And this is Park Sandara."

"I appreciate this, Aeon." Yuri said dramatically "I totally owe you."

"You're fine." Aeon said with a chuckle "Don't worry about it."

"No, seriously." Yuri insisted "I'm a good baker. I can make you cookies or brownies and drop them off when I pick up the film. Where do you live?"

"Sindang-dong. But I work on-"

"I'll get the film from him." I said inexplicably. I marched over and grasped his bicep, knocking away Yuri's hand on the process "With the way he looks, I seriously doupt he eats brownies." I tugged on his arm and said "Let's go." as I started pulling us toward the door.

"Uh, where're we going?" Aeon asked me, amusement clear in his tone.

Was he laughing at me? I glared down at him and snapped "To get that film for Yuri."

"The film's in my camera." He jiggled the camera at me.

"Oh." I frowned and then wondered why I felt disappointed. "Ahem, right." Aeon raised one thin eyebrow and looked at me expectantly. Those lashes looked even longer up close, and his eyes were amazing, a clear turquoize with flecks of navy. I felt my filling in response to his attention, which pissed me off "So why'd you need his adress, Yuri?" I growled.

"To get the film." she said slowly, looking at me like I was the one not making sense.

"You heard Aeon." I said "He has the film. You were just trying to get his adress!"

"Uh." Yuri slowly. Then she shifted her gaze from my face to my hand, which was stilled wrapped around Aeon's surprisingly firm bicep "Oh." she said, her expression indicating that she finally understood something, probably the fact that her come-on had been transparent "I see. Okay, Taecyeon, you get the film from him. Just make sure to get it to me, okay?" then she giggled and said "Sandara, right? Want to get a drink and leave these two alone?"

I felt heat rise up my neck when her implication registered.

"Sure." Sandara said. She kissed Aeon on the cheek, handed him his bag, and said "Call me later, honey."

The two of them walked away, arm in arm, and I was left alone with a guy who looked like he had just stepped away from a Pride parade.

"So." he said, his voice taking on a singsongy quality.

"What?"

"I think you just cost me some home-baked brownies."

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Your friend Yuri"-he flicked his eyes toward the bar, where Yuri and Sandara had gone-"said she was going to bake for me. But now that you've taken on the responsibility to collect the film, I'm out the brownies."

I was pretty sure he was flirting with me, and I didn't like it. We were in public, a bunch of my classmates were nearby, he wasn't my type, and worst of all, it was making my so hard I ached. 

"Collect the...just give me the film." I snapped "We already established you have it."

"No can do." he said patiently "I'm only halfway through the roll."

"Then finish it off." I said "I'm sure you can take a couple of pictures here relly fast and then give the roll and leave."

His eyes widened in surprise, and he yanked his arm away from me, making me realize I hand't let go "Look, I don't know what your problem is, but I just got here and I'm not leaving until I have a drink with my friend."

"My problem?" I asked incredulously, taking a step forward to close the distance he had put between us which I didn't like one bit. "What's your problem? Is it the cost of the film?" I reached for my wallet "How muchh is it? I'll pay you for it."

"The problem-" Aeon said, no longer sounding amused or happy "-is that I have some of my pictures at the beginning of this roll, so I can't just hand it to you. I need to develop the film and then I can give you the negatives of your friends."

That made sense, actually. I wasn't sure wht I hadn't thought of it "Oh."

"Yeah, oh." he rolled his eyes "You know what? My frien Sandara works at the copy shop across the street. I'll leave the negatives there when they're ready. See ya/"

Before I could think of what to say, he was sauntering off toward his friend at the bar. Damn, for a little guy, he sure had a nice . Firm and round, it filled out those ridiculous pants so well they actually looked good.

His friend looked surprised and maybe a little sad when he walked up. But Yuri was all smiles, scooting over on her barstool and patting the sliver of wood, like they could share it. To my surprise, that was exactly what happened. Aeon sat down and flung one leg over Yuri's, half of his fine on the stool and the other half on her thigh.

Before I could stop myself, or even realized I was doing it, I was stomping over to Aeon. Whether he heard me approach or whether he noticed the panicked look Yuri threw over his shoulder, I didn't know, but Aeon turned his head back, took one look at me, and let out an annoyed breath.

"What?" he asked.

I had no idea what to say. I had been rude to him earlier. Well, maybe not rude, but I supposed I could have been more polite. so I said "Sorry?"

"Are you asking me or telling me?" he said, squinting in frustration. I wanted to see his eyes sparkle again, like they had when he had been smiling and laughing.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"You said it like it was a question. Sorry? Like you were asking me."

For the life of me, I couldn't understand why I was still standing there, letting this little flamer scold me.

"Hey, cutie, what can I get you?" the bartender asked Aeon.

We were't in a gay bar, so it took me off guard. But Aeon wasn't thrown in the least. He turned back around, giving the smile I'd wanted to the Giganto tending bar and said "A lemon drop, please."

"No problem, doll." One side of the bartender's lips curled up "I get off in about twenty minutes." He picked a glass with one hand and the sugar with the other, and waggled his eyebrows "Should I rim you?"

"Cute." Aeon said with a chuckle "I-"

"There's a diner down on the corner. Thhey have a three-layer chocolate cake."

Aeon looked at me over his shoulder , seemingly surprised by my comment. He wasn't alone. I was flying totally blind.

"Chocolate cake?" he asked.

"Yeah, uh-" I gulped "You said I owe you for the brownies, so uh-" I shifted my gaze over to the bartender, who was smirking at us, and then back to those captivating eyes "They have fruit pies too. If you like lemon."

He stared at me, as if he was looking for something. After a few beats, I started feeling like he was trying to decide if I was worthy of his time, which pissed me off, but just when I opened my mouth to tell him to forget it, he slid off the barstool. 

"I like lemon." he said "That hint of sour mixed in with the sweet is great."

"Catch you next time, Aeon." the bartender said with a wink.

Aeon waved to him, said good-bye to his friend, and then slid his bag over his shoulder "Does the offer come with coffe?" he asked good-naturedly as we made our way out of the bar.

I was fixated on that bartender and the familiar way he spoke to Aeon, so I didn't grasp his question "Coffee?" I repeated.

"Yeah. Do I get coffee with my pie?"

"Are you ing that bartender?" I asked insead of answering his question.

He slid to a stop right ouside of the bar "Seriously?" he asked.

"No." I said, realizing my question was out of line. He dipped his chin and we started walking again "So, are you?" I asked apparently unable to stop myself.

Instead of getting pissed, like I'd expected, he scoffed and said "No. I'm not ing the bartender."

"Oh." I scooted a little closer to him as we kept walking "You ing anybody else?"

He glanced aat me "Not right now, no." I got even closer "How about you?" he asked.

"Not right now, no." I said with a grin. 

He stared at me, my mouth actually, or my teeth more precisely. He then looked at me and he gave me that smile I'd been wanting, and I nudged his shoulder "So, do you want to be?" I asked.

"Let's start with coffee, okay?" the humor was back in his tone.

"Sure, sure." I bobbed my head "Coffee,pie, and then...."

We'd reach the diner and I pulled the door open and held it for him. He stepped close to me and tilted his head up so our eyes could meet. , I got an instant "Coffee, pie, a little converation, and then I'm going home."

He stepped inside and I followed him to a booth "Works for me." I said as I scooted in across from him "You live close or do we need to take the train?"

"Wow, you're something else." he said, leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest "Alone. I'm going home alone."

"Oh." the answer took me off guard "Why?"

"Because we just met!" Aeon looked truly surprised "You always hop into bed with guys you just men?"

The way he said it, I understood the answer was supposed to be 'no', so I kept my mouth shut.

"I see." he said after the silence had drawn on too long. He reached for his bag and started climbing out of his seat.

"Where're you going?" I asked as I reached out and grasped his arm, keeping him in place.

"look." he said with a sigh "You're super hot in that rough and tumble way, and quirky in a funny way, but this"-he moved his had back and forth between us-"isn't gonna work and I don't wanna waste your time."

I started preening inside when he called me hot but it was immediately tempered when he described me as quirky, which didn't sound so good.

"What do you mean?" I said "We're getting a pie, remember? Pie is never a waste of time." I smiled, trying to put him at ease "Sit down." I gestured to the seat with my chin.

He lowered himself back to the seat and let go of his bag just as the waitress arrived.

"What can I get for you boys?" she asked.

"He'll have a slice of lemon pie and a coffee." I said "And I'll have a piece of the chocolate cake and a glass of milk."

She nodded and hustled away.

"Milk?" Aeon asked. His expression seemed to be teasing again, but his eyes were twinkling so I let it go.

"Milk goes with chocolate." I answered "Everybody knows that."

"Is that right?" he asked with a laugh.

"yup." I nodded firmly "It's, like, a law or something. I'm pretty sure I learned it in my first year."

"You're in law school?"

"Uh-huh."

"And those people in the bar are your friends from school?" he asked.

"They're in school with me, yeah." I said, not responding to the friend question. I didn't consider anybody in that bar a friend, not really. But that was okay, because I hadn't moved all the way to Seoul to make friends, I had moved because SNU Law and Columbia were the top law schools I'd gotten into, and I chose SNU Law because I wanted to get a good education followed by a great job, but at the same time I wanted to be as far as I can from my parents.

The waitress came over with our desserts, which was a good opportunity to change the topic.

"So is your name really Aeon Rhodes?" I said after taking a bite of cake.

"It's Jung Ewon, actually." he said with a chuckle "But everybody calls me Aeon now."

"Makes sense." I said looking him over carefully "You don't look like an Ewon."

"No?" he asked "What does an Ewon look like?"

"I don't know." I shrugged "Stuffy and proper and tall, with and over-combed hair and a smile like someone stepped on his foot while he's waving to his subjects...." I noticed his eyebrows furrowed thinking and then suddenly his shoulders were shaking, I stopped talking and flicked a little piece of cake at him.

"Hey!" he said, trying to look affronted but failing "Don't throw food at me!"

"Well, then don't laugh at me." I countered.

"You do realize you were describing the prince of England, right?"

I paused and thought it over "Was I?"

"Yes!" he huffed. "Out of all the people you connected dots with him? Our names are Charles and Ewon, they sound nothing alike. Wow!"

"Huh. Well that makes sense too."

He furrowed his brow in confusion this time "Why does that make sense?"

"Because-" I took another bite of cake and waggled my eyebrows at him "-the prince of England probably wouldn't let me him either."

"Well, I'm not the prince of England." Aeon said meaningfully.

"And yet...." I let the sentence trail off and raised both eyebrows.

"This is yummy." he pushed his plate toward me "Do you want a bite of my pie?"

"Is that some sort of euphenism for ing you?"

He chuckled and rolled his eyes "No, it isn't. I'm literally offering to share my pie with you."

"Then no."

Aeon shook his head, pointed his fork at my plate, and said "Eat your cake."

The little lilt when he talked, the way he styled his hair, the clothes he wore, hell, even the way he sawyed when he walked-Aeon Rhodes was not my type. But my hadn't gotten the memo and my chest swelled every time he smiled and looked up at me from underneath his too-long lashes, with those eyes that made me feel like a prisoner, so I did what he asked and ate my cake.