INTRODUCTION

Jung Ewon (Aeon Rhodes)

I HAD a boyfriend.

Some people might describe him as prickly, but I knew his demeanor was a defence strategy to keep anyone from getting close enough to hurt him. Six moths into our relationship, Taecyeon and I had kept up our 'no serious conversations' pact. That meant he didn't talk much about his family, but I gathered they weren't close. And I couldn't help but notice that though we spent every weekent together, he hadn't ever said we needed to make an appearance at a friends birthday or a celebration dinner or whatever, indicating to me that after more than two years living in Seoul, he hadn't made any friends. So it wasn't hard to figure out that he held himself apart from everyone around him.

I understood that outlook. I'd had to force myself not to hide away from the world for a long time after Nichkhun left. If it hadn't been for my mother telling me the pain would pass, my sister calling and saying the best way to get over a man wa to get under another one, and Sandara dragging my out to interact with our friends, I could have ended up just as walled off as Taecyeon.

So because I understood, I didn't mind being patient while he learned to trust me and navigated his way around being in what I was sure was his first relationship. I don't want you to think it was all a huge sacrifice for me. The reality was I was amused by his lewd come-ons, I was in awe of his intelligence and drive, he was great in bed, and he was fun to be around.

Which brings me to the next picture in the album: me and Taecyeon in bed. No, it's not a picture. He's helping my fly. Taecyeon is lying on his back with his legs and arms up at ninety degree angles and his feet and hands facing the ceiling, I'm stretched out with my legs and arms straight out, my hips resting on the bottoms of his feet and my fingers twined with his for support. He said all I needed was the cape to look like Superman. And I thought the way he made me feel was more amazing than any superpower.

Ok Taecyeon

I didn't know how it happened-mostly because I refused to think about it-but somehow summer passed, fall was almost over, and I was still spending time with Aeon Rhodes. Lots of time.

I'd gotten into a routtine where I spent weekends at his apartment and also went there on days that I had a light class load. His schedule was different from mine because his evenings were usually spent working, whereas I had class during the day. But he gave me akey and I hung out at his place because his refrigarator was always stocked, his couch was comfortable, he had good lighting...and also because I knew he'd walk through the door at the end of the night, usually with a big smile and a funny story.

One night in early November, I fell asleep studying on the couch. The sound of the locks turning woke me up, so by the time Aeon walked in, I was sitting and rubbing my palms over my eyes.

"Sorry." he said as he hung up his coat "I didn't mean to wake you up."

I expecter him to walk over, sit on my lap, and kiss me. That's what he usually liked to do, and I didn't mind, so I let him. But that night, he dropped his bag by the bed ans shuffled into the bathroom, barely looking at me, let alone touching me.

With a frown, I set my book down and approached him "What's going on?"

He had his shoes and shirt off and was working on his pants "Nothing." he kept his gaze lowered, not making eye contact with me "Just gonna grab a shower."

"Aeon." I said gently as I grasped his arm "What's wrong, baby?"

With another shake of his head, he managed to cover his eyes with his hair. A sniffle and gulp told me was trying to hide.

"Are you crying?" I asked worriedly as I pushed his hair back and tilted his chin up He's eyes were wet "You are. What happened?"

"It's nothing." he insisted "Give me a few mintutes in the shower and I'll be fine."

"No." I dragged him close and wrapped my arms around him "Something's wrong. Talk to me."

"Don't we have that rule where we can't talk about family or that matters?" he asked with a sniffle, but he circled his hands around my waist and held on tightly, so I suspected he wanted to talk.

"What can I say? You've turned me soft."

He chuckled and reached between us, groping my . Being close to him had caused the predictable response "You don't feel soft." he said as he rubbed the heel of his hand up my shaft "But I know how to get you there."

"And I'm going to take you up on that." I twined my fingers with his, brought his hand to my mouth, and kissed the back of it "Right after we talk about what has you down."

He sighed deeply and looked up at me from under his lashes "You really wanna know?"

Surprisingly, I did "Yes."

"My director Donghae had his kid at work today. I went into his office after the show, and he was holding his son up and flying him around the room like and airplane and making whoosh noises. The kid was giggling like crazy."

"That's sounds, uh, cute."

"It was." Aeon nodded "But then reminded me of this girl who lived down the hall from me when I was little. Her dad used to do that too, and I always wanted my dad to give me an airplane but he was barely there and when he was he was usually fighting with my mom, and then took off." Aeon took a deep breath and I tried to process his quickly spoken ramble "See?" he said "It's stupid. Lot's of people don't see their fathers and it's not like it's new for me." he shrugged "Maybe I'm being extra sensitive because this is gonna be my firsst Thanksgiving since my mom moved away with my new stepdad to another country. We have a show on Friday and Saturday, so I can't go to Hong Kong." he rubbed his lips together and dragged his fingers through his hair "But, again, that's not a big deal. A bunch of my friends are getting together, or I can have dinner with Sandara and her family or I can fly solo or...whatever. See? No big deal. I'm fine."

But he wasn't fine. I only had to look at the set of his shoulders, the red rims around his eyes, and the grimace he was trying to pass off as a smile to know he was down. Even though I often rolled my eyes at his exuberant personality, the thruth was, I liked how happy and bouncy he was all the time and I hated seeing him down.

"Come on." I said as I tugged his hand and led him out of the bathroom.

"Where're we going?" he asked, but he followed me without hesitation "I'm not dressed."

"You don't need to be dressed for this."

"Oh." he pressed his chest up against my back and rubbed on me "Well, in that case, I'm too dressed. Let me take my undewear off."

"I'm giving you an airplane." I lay down on the bed and held my hand out to him "You can take them off or keep them on. Your call."

"What?" he stood at the end of the bed with his hands on the waistband of one of his y-as-hell briefs,

"An airplane, like you said. I can't do it while we're standing, but you're small enough that I can hold you above me." I scooted yntil my entire bady was on the bed "C'mere."

"You're serious?" Aeon asked, looking equal parts surprised and thrilled.

"Yup." I was proud of myself for having come up with a way to cheer him up.

"Hold on. I gotta get a picture." he rushed over to retrieve his camera and set it up on the dresser "Okay. Timer's set." he hopped on the bed, smiling like a little kid "Where do you want me?"

It was hard not to answer with my usual thinly veiled innuendos like 'I want you on your hands and knees with you in the air.' okay, maybe that wasn't so much an innuendo or thinly veiled. Anyway, I kept it PG and said "Right over here."

He climbed over me. I tucked the bottoms of my feet under his hips and wove my fingers with his, then I stretched my legs and arms up so he was hovering above me, his body flat as board. He looked like he was flying.

"Whoosh!" I shouted while I moved my legs from side to side and back and forth, giving him as much motion as possible.

"You're nuts!" he said through joy-filled laughter.

"All you need is the cape and you'd look like Superman."

He gazed at me and beamed, looking so damn happy "Thanks, Taecyeon."

My chest constricted and an unfamiliar feeling washed over me, leaving me petrified. "You can thank me later by getting on your hands and knees and sticking your in the air." There. I hadn't changed. I was still me. My fear ebbed leaving me with warmth in my belly.

"You can count on it. But can we do this for a little longer?"

"Sure thing, baby. Anything you want." I clasped his hands tightly and shifted my legs down "Whoosh!"

Well, maybe I'd changed a little.

Thanksgiving . There, I said it. The whole day is spent rushing from one relative's house to the next-my grandparents on my father's side, my aunt on my mother's side, my mother's best friend's parents-eating more than any person should and then chewing Tums in the car while my parents talk about who was rude and who dressed ty and who looked like maybe she was pregnant again.

My sister was usually good for laugh or at least moral support, but that year she left after round one because, and I quote from my mother's oft-repeated explanation, 'Jihyen is spending the rest of the holiday with her future in-laws.' Seems reasonable until you realize Jihyen wasn't engaged, as of Halloween she hadn't had a boyfriend, and whatever boyfriend she had drumed up in the interim hadn't joined her for the first Thanksgiving meal of the day with our family. It being left to deal with the parental units solo, but I couldn't blame her for escaping if she could get away with it. No reason for all of us to go down on the sinking ship of boredom and annoyance, it was every man for himself, real or imaginary.

By Friday afternoon, I was ready to jump off the roof to get away from family time, but my parents lived in a ranch house, so the most I could hope for was a sprained ankle, which wouldn't have saved me from mental torture and boredom.

"Are you going to spend time with your friends tonight?" my mother asked excitedly.

"My friends?"

"Hwi Yang said Yoona gets together with a bunch of kids from your school each year on the Friday after Thanksgiving. I know she'd be happy if you went with them."

Hwi Yang was my mother's best friend, the only korean person she knew here in Reno actually, Yoona was her daughter, and nobody would be happy if she was forced to drag me around with her friend. What both of our mothers failed to realize was that: (A) none of us was a child any longer, (B) my high school stopped being my school when I went to college and then law school. (C) Yoona and I didn't run in the same high school social circle, mostly because she was this uberoutgoing cheerleader type and I could barely tolerate my classmates over the lunch hour, let alone in my free time, (D) despite their dreams of uniting our families by marriage, I wasn't interested in Yoona for a lot of reasons, one of which was that she wasn't a guy, and Yonna wasn't interested in me for a lot of reasons, one of which was that I was interested in guys.

But rather than explaning all that to my mother yet again, I said "Oh, I wish I could, but I need to get to the airport on time for my flight."

"Your flight?" my father asked "You're not leaving intil Sunday."

"Did I forget to tell you that I have to leave early this year? Sorry. There's an important study group I can't miss."

It was not only a lie, but a terrible lie, beccause my chanses of getting a flight out at the last minute were slim to none and in addition to not running in Yoona's social circle in high school, I didn't run in any social circle and I hadn't kept in touch with a single classmate, which meant I had nowhere to crash. Nevertheless, I stuck to my story, because an airport motel had to be better than any more quality time with y family.

"Actually"-I looked down at my wrist where a watch would go if I wore one, which I didn't-"I better go pack."

Not only did I escape getting truck down dead for lying to my parents, but the gods of air travel were smiling down on me, because with a minimal feel, I changed my fllight to standby ticked and then got the last seat on a redeye to Seoul. Airplanes aren't the most comfortable places for a guy my size-my shoulders are broad enough to bump the people next to me-but it didn't matter because I slept most of the flight. Even though I wasn't need-to-sleep tired by the time I landed, I was emotionally drained and all I wantet to do was to go home and relax.

It wasn't until after I told to taxi driver Aeon's adress that I realized what my mind equated with home. I gave myself leave to freak out about that later, because at that moment, I wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed with Aeon and not get out for the rest of the weekend. And I didn't care what that meant.

The bodega next to his apartment was selling potted hydrangeas, so I picked some up, knowing how much he likes those damn flowers. Then I used my key to let myself into his apartment. As I expected, he was asleep in the bed. What I hadn't expected was to find two men sharing the bed with him and another two on his couch.

The logical part of my brain registered that everyone was at minimum wearing undewear. I also took note of the various wine bottles and liquor bottles on the counter and table and guessed that a night drinking with friends had turned into friends crushing at his place because they were too drunk to go home. Again, logical brain said that was completely normal behavior for a twenty-five-year-old guy. Well, completely normal behavior for one with friends, anyway. It wasn't something I'd ever done.

So logicalbrain was all good. Unfortunately, irrational hotheat brain shoved his aside and screamed "What the is going on here?"

One guy rolled off the couch onto the floor, another guy shot up in bed, two guys stayed fast asleep, and Aeon rubbed his palms over his eyes and then blinked them open in confusion "Taec?" he said when he spotted me standing in his doorway. Wait, what did he call me? "What's going on? I thought you weren't getting in until Sunday night." His sleepy gaze moved from my face to my face to my hand and he smiled sweetly "You brought me flowers?"

'Taec' and that sweet smile...ok, I decided not to kill everyone in the room.

Aeon slowly craled off the bed, apparently nudging stll-sleeping-bed-guy, because he muttered something and shoved a pillow over his head. Awake-bed-guy said "Who the is that? Man, it's too early for visitors."

Maybe I'd humped the gun on the no-murder decision. I had a key. Couln't asswipe tell that meant I was more than a visitor?

"You're here." Aeon said dreamily as he walked toward me "I missed you Taec."

I forgot about asswipe, dropped my bag on the floor, and kicked the door clossed.

"What the ?" previously-sleeping-couch-guy yelled when the door slammed.

Already-awake-and-on-the-floor-couch-guy said "Tell me about it."

I considered beating them over the head the head with the flowers.

"These are so pretty." Aeon said. He wrapped his hand over mine, brought the flowers to his nose, and inhaled their scent "I love hydrangeas."

"I know." I puffed up a little, feeling proud of the fact that I knew how to please him. I'd need to find something else to use as a weapon against the annoying s who were making no move to get dressed and get out of our...his apartment.

"Thanks, Taec. I can't believe you found hydrangeas in November." he cupped the back of my head, got on his tiptoes, and drew me down for a kiss "This was sweet of you, but is everything okay? I know I didn't forget your flight time."

I wrapped my free arm arounf his waist and dragged him forward until we were pressed together tight enough to give my groin the pressure I'd been craving since the moment I last saw him "Everything's fine." I nuzzled his neck "I just missed you, baby."

"Oh, for 's sake, get a room already, you two. We're trying to sleep."

I wasn't sure which of the small-brained freaks had said that one, but it didn't matter "We have a room but you're in it." I yelled "Get the out."

"Aeon." one of them whined "M tired."

"Yeah? Well I'm ." I scowled at everyone, nt that they were looking "Leave."

It might have been a rude thing to say, but Aeon knew me well enough by then to understand that I meant it. He chuckled, grasped my hand, and said "C'mere."

"Where're we going?" I followed through the apartment, stepping over clothes and limbs as I went.

"Bathroom." he said "So we can have some privasy and take care of your, uh, needs."

"Why do we have to hide away like a couple of kids?" I whined, sounding very much like a kid "They should leave."

"Yes, I know. But they're hungover and tired and it's mean to kick them out."

"I don't care." Aeon was nice but I wasn't. At least not when it came to something standing between me and I'd been craving since I skulked out of my parents' house.

"Getting rid of them will take forever." he said as he walked us into the bathroom. He set the flowers on the counter and closed the door behind me "You can think of this as an 'I missed you' appetizer and we can have the main course after they're gone."

"There are four guys in there." I grumbled "Seems to me you should be too full for appetizers after playing with them all night."

"Aww, are you jealous?" he smiled as he pushed my coat off and kissed my neck.

"No."

"No?" he grazed his lips up to my jaw and d my through my jeans "Cause you sound a little jealous and you looked like you wanted to hurt someone back there."

I grunted, leaned back against the door, and widened my stance, giving him better access to my package.

"You don't need to worry." he flicked his tongue over my earlobe and ed my jeans "You know how into you I am." he on my lobe and pushed my boxers and jeans down to my thighs, exposing my semierect and full balls to cool air "I don't want anybody else."

Yeah, I knew that. It was obvious Aeon was totally into me. I relaxed and traced his lips with my thumb "Show me, baby."

"Gladly."

He had just dropped to his knees when someone pushed the door open, slamming the knob into my back and catching me off guard. I bucked forward, knocked Aeon's nose with my hip, and sent him sprawling across the floor.

"What the hell?" I shouted, turning to face the door.

One of Aeon's buddies tried to squeeze into the room "I need to take a piss." he said.

I cracked my knuckles and got ready to break his nose.

"Come on Daesung." Aeon said as he scrambled up from the floor "You knew we were in here."

"Yeah, yeah." the guy said, completely undeterred "You were trying to get a little . Got it. But  nature calls."

"It sure as isn't little." Aeon said with a wink "Quit screwing around and give us some privasy."

The guy looked from Aeon to me and then dragged his gaze down to my exposed and, by that point, flaccid . He didn't utter a word, just raised his eyebrows meaningfully and smirked. 

"Hey! I'm a grow-er not a show-er." I said defensivale. The scoffed disbelievingly "No, really, I am." I looked at Aeon imporingly "Tell him."

The laughed and Aeon's expression went from amused to pissed. He squeezed past me and shoved his friend out of the bathroom "You're out of line, Dae. And by the way, I've seen your and guys in four-inch glass houses shouldn't throw stones at guys who are over eight inches and thick. Get out of here."

I stared at Aeon as he forced his friend out of the room and closed the door "You need a lock for this door."

"I need to get new friends." he was vibrating with anger.

"Maybe he was jealous." I said magnanimously, expecting Aeon to tell me I was wrong, that he was just friends with that Daesung person, that there had never been anything between them.

"Maybe." he admitted "But that doesn't give him an excuse to be an to you." Aeon dropped his forehead against my chest "Sorry."

I caressed his hair and tried to stay calm when I asked "Did you used to date him?"

"Not really." he shrugged "I don't know, Maybe he saw it that way because we fooled arounf a couple of times, but it wasn't any good, so we stuck with the friendship. I wouldn't call it dating."

"I don't understand the difference." I admitted, hoping he couln't feel my muscles tightening. It wasn't like either of us had been a when we'd met. I had no reason to be upset. But I was "Spending time with someone, being friends with them, and having with. That sounds like dating to me."

He looked up at me, chewed on his lower lip, and furrowed his brow in concentration.

"Yeah, that's true. I guess what I mean is that we weren't in a relationship, you know? It wasn't like how things are between us." he rested his cheek against my chest again and sighed contentedly when I hugged him to me "I didn't love him."

It was the perfect thing to say to stem my rapidly rising jealousy. And also the thing to sure open the floodgates on a whole other kind of panic.