Honestly I expected much more from the guy who had survived two years in the war zone taking photographs of people in battle. Maybe like a much more subtle and classy way of following his target or having better camouflaging skills. Yet breathing Incheon air for the past three days seemed to have brought out the inner blonde within Byun Baekhyun, and I was assuming this was his natural state since before his warzone experience. He wasn’t exactly the brightest bulb.

Instead of a reprisal of some classic Hollywood spy film or at least a decent Korean spy movie, I found myself dressed up in what looked like a Legally Blonde version of James Bond, except that I had to be the one dawned in the atrocious outfit when I wasn’t the actual blonde one between the two of us.

“Has anyone called you Blonde Baekhyun before in place of your surname?” I asked him sarcastically as we stood behind the pole at the bus terminal.

“Why, because of my dye job?” He asked me sincerely, as if my questions was not intended as a snide at all.

See? Point proven. Blonde through and through.

“I was under the impression that we are stalking them in stealth but you literally put a scarf on my head with giant sunflower prints on them and this dress is…as yellow as your lemonade hoodie. It’s so blinding it’s like a road hazard and literally I will be the first thing they spot when they get off the bus later,” I deadpanned all this in one breath, and my very blonde friend seemed more amused at my newfound rapping skills than the actual content of what I was saying. I questioned how he could survive being a war photographer if he lacked this much common sense.

“Oh you’d be surprised. It’s easier in the warzone when you are just wearing chartreuse, seaweed, sage and occasionally mahogany to blend in with the dirt and blood. It’s really about knowing the target in my opinion. This scarf here is from the summer season three years ago and this dress is from a secondhand thrift shop I happened to pass by in Japan quite a while ago. Suzy doesn’t particularly look at anyone unless their clothes are at least from summer in the same year, except if you have her favourite tint of lipstick on.”

Well, if that was the case, I must be a fashion terrorist to Suzy then. It didn’t occur to me that my sweet host would be someone who was so critical of others’ fashion, and to be so condemnatory about other people’s choices. Or maybe she was just more discerning in general as a person, but I wouldn’t really know. This would be the first time I meet my host even if it’s with a distance. All my interactions with her had been over the Airbnb app or through Baekhyun’s very vivid memories of their time together.

Yet as much as I would hate to admit it, Baekhyun was certainly right in pointing out that Suzy and Dongwook probably wouldn’t recognise me. When the man met me the week before to pass me the essentials, he was still meeting rather soulless me clad in my black tee and track pants. Now that I was a walking canary with sunflowers for a head, I doubt they would associate the tow identities together.

Baekhyun himself had put on a casual cap to hide his outstanding blonde hair (the only thing that I felt was true to his identity) and a simple white summer shirt and pair of jeans that were totally not weird and (this would be a secret that I would carry with me to the grave along with this ugly- scarf) made him look rather dashing. Suddenly I could understand why a girl as gorgeous and chic liked Baekhyun-the-lemonade.

“They’re here,” Baekhyun whispered as he tapped my shoulder eagerly, pointing at a bus that just arrived in the terminal. I looked over just in time to see Dongwook holding Suzy’s hand, helping her alight the bus. He then went on to help her with her baggage, which was larger than I expected judging that it was a weekend trip to Sokcho.

I quickly wrapped my face with the scarf and ducked behind the pillar, and in this process Baekhyun lost his balance since the lemon-turned-handsome-human was leaning on me for support while we were waiting.

“What are you doing?” Baekhyun asked, surprised when I had retreated back and kind of hit him in the process. I huffed.

“Baekhyun, does it not make sense that since they would be going home anyway, that we should have just stayed home to wait for them?”

To be completely honest, my little outburst was mostly stemming from the fact that I was a very nervous spy, rather than Baekhyun’s poor arrangements. The girly fashion I was in made me uncomfortable, and stalking a pair of potential cheaters was both a thrilling and disparaging task. There was also a nagging feeling that I had hid myself behind the pillar because of how beautiful my host looked in real life, and a small part of my brain was telling me that Dongwook and Suzy looked absolutely compatible. There was a moment of silence before he responded to my question with a complete non-answer.

“They’ve headed towards the cab stand. Let’s go!” And with that the desperate boyfriend nudged me to follow.

We hoped on a cab that came right behind the duo’s, and in the most clichéd way possible Baekhyun instructed the driver to “follow the car in front”, as if we were two detectives hot on the trails of a pair of criminals. Gosh I thought I would never hear that beyond dramas.

To my surprise, Suzy and Dongwook actually did not head back to the Airbnb straightaway. Instead they went to a Jimdark restaurant nearby for lunch.

“Ah…figured,” Baekhyun muttered beside me as he hurriedly paid for the cab fare before I could even take out my own purse. I was rushed out of the vehicle, but I made sure to thank the very confused driver before alighting.

When Baekhyun hesitated entering the restaurant, but instead eyed the entrance meaningfully, I couldn’t suppress my curiosity anymore.

“Is there something special about this place?”

Baekhyun sighed, head hanging low.

“This was where I picked her up many years ago.”

If it wasn’t for the situation at hand, I would have rolled my eyes at Baekhyun. Who picks up girls at jimdark restaurants?

“I was a customer and she happened to be part-time waitressing at that time. I wanted to impress her and ordered the spiciest level possible,” he said almost too seriously, “instead I spent prolonged hours with her that day because I hogged the restaurant bathroom.”

Maybe Baekhyun wasn’t the crazy one. It’s Suzy that was insane. How is diarrhoea ever a good pick up tactic?

Yet I replied, “Then isn’t it great, that she’s visiting this restaurant the first thing she arrives back home?”

Baekhyun bit his lip nervously. I was starting to retract the criticisms in my head as I watched him grow anxious.

“But she’s not with me.”

As much as I might not know Baekhyun so well, it was clear to me that a moody Baekhyun was unnatural. The yellow lightbulb was flickering, and that was not a good sign.

“Baekhyun, she doesn’t know you’re back. This might just be her bringing a friend to drop by her favourite restaurant, because she’s thinking about you.”

I genuinely knew nothing a