“What!?” The other six say in unison.

“He’s mine.” Taehyung repeats himself as-a-matter-of-factly as he nuzzles the baby’s hair, holding him close. And, indeed, he is adorable with rosy chubby cheeks, bright eyes, soft curly dark locks, heart shaped lips, and a small beauty mark on the right cheekbone. The baby looks like he is more than six months old. Apparently the baby seems to be comfortable in Taehyung’s arms. The little chubby baby fingers gripping Taehyung’s shirt.

The baby has calmed down significantly and coos adorably in Taehyung’s arms, nuzzling his chest.

“Awwwww…” They all say in unison. They couldn’t help but melt at the sight.

Jimin shakes his head from the trance “Tae…” Jimin starts. “But… you know…” His cheeks flush pink as he remembers Taehyung’s past relationships with many gorgeous male models. “Men don’t get pregnant.”

“I know! I’m not stupid! I know how works and where babies come from! Gosh!” Taehyung gives Jimin a raspberry. “Besides, if my ex Junghwa did get pregnant he wouldn’t let me near any of his kids. He’s too possessive for that. And If I was the one to get pregnant, don’t you think I would have known?” He laughs.

The baby babbles something along the line of “Bulrpaa! Choo! Choo!”

“Then why did you say that he’s yours?” Hoseok says, bewildered.

“I asked Santa last year.” Taehyung’s eyes shine bright as he grins widely.

Jimin opens his mouth but then closes it and then opens his mouth again and closes it yet again as he contemplates his wordings to not hurt Taehyung’s feelings.

The other five groan in unison.

“That’s it. I’m out. Peace.” Yoongi walks out of the scene, not wanting to deal with the absurd situation. He walks up the stairs and goes to his room to sleep some more. They all can hear the door to his bedroom slams loudly as he closes the door.

“What? I specifically asked him last year before Christmas that I want a tiny adorable human male to raise as my protégé. I need someone to know da wae.” Taehyung raises the baby high with his hand and the baby laughs and starts to blow raspberry to his face. “I guess my wish came true!”

“Tae…” Jimin starts again, his tone desperate.

The other four sigh in exasperation. Taehyung might be innocent and he does believe strongly in fairies, bunnies on the moon, and Santa, but he is stubborn as well and the other six will not win if they start an argument with Taehyung and his strange logic.

“That’s… not how it works, Tae.” Namjoon says. Jimin gives him a warning look and Namjoon gives Jimin a nod, telling him that he understands. “Santa does not give you present after Christmas. You said so yourself: ‘Santa is a man of punctuality that’s why he’s able to make the 25^th of December worldwide opening present day.’ Today is almost Easter.” The thing with Namjoon is that he is actually clever enough to make Taehyung listen. Jimin sighs in relief.

Seokjin snorts and Jungkook starts cackling. Hoseok is now having a staring contest with the baby because apparently the baby notices his bright red hair and starts to make grabby hands.

“Ah… I suppose you’re right, Joonie-hyung.” Taehyung sighs but he still cradles the baby in his arms. “Aw… What are we going to do with him, then? We can’t just do nothing.”

Namjoon contemplates for a second. “I think we should really find out who put the baby on the door step. Any of you guys went -less or did any of your broke or something around a year and a half?”

“Are you seriously asking this? You actually think one of us might have gotten a girl pregnant?” Seokjin says, his face flushes red. “You really think one of us here could be this baby’s father?”

“Hey, I’m thinking of the worst case scenario here. I’m being realistic.” Namjoon retorts. “We were all pretty wild once. Don’t deny it.”

“Well… Count me out then.” Taehyung says, still rocking the baby in his arms and starts to make funny faces to make the baby laugh.

“Hold on… the letter says that the mother was from a party. Do you guys remember any party where we were all wasted?” Jungkook says.

Hoseok snaps out from the baby’s hypnotizing gaze. “Hey, guys. Do you remember that party that we attended more than a year ago in Gangnam where we all went absolutely faced and woke up in different hotel rooms the next day with the person who we slept with missing?”

“…” Jimin mutters. “I don’t even remember who I slept with that night. To be honest I don’t even remember whether I slept with a woman or a man. I went ham at the bar.”

Jungkook’s eyes go as round as mooncakes. “Oh, crap… I remember that. Yep. No .” He groans.

Namjoon goes stock still.

“You okay, Joonie-ah?” Jin says.

“Ah. I’m fine.” Namjoon steps forward toward Taehyung. “Can I hold him?” He reaches out his hands.

“Here you go.” Taehyung hands the baby to Namjoon but the baby starts crying in Namjoon’s arms. Taehyung immediately takes the baby back in his arms and immediately the baby stops crying.

“I guess he’s comfortable with you, hyung.” Jungkook coos at Taehyung.

Jimin smiles. “You’ve always been great with kids, Tae.”

Taehyung keeps on bouncing on his knees to soothe the baby.

“What are we going to do then?” Seokjin says.

“We should probably ask our neighbors near us.” Namjoon says. “Maybe they know who put the baby carrier on our doorstep.”

Jin agrees. “Yeah, that’s probably a great idea.”

But they all go quiet and stay on their spot and keep on looking at the baby fondly.

“What about a paternity test?” Hoseok says suddenly.

“What?! Those things take weeks! Besides, we don’t even know whether the baby belong to one of us for certain. Let’s just ask around first.” Jin says. “And you know that most of our money are in the label now with our manager, right? What do you think they will do if we ask them for money to take paternity tests?”

“Oh, don’t forget the fact that if we show up with a baby they will go ape. There will be a huge scandal. That would be bad for us because we just gained traction in the public eye.” Jimin says worriedly.

Hoseok sighs. “You’re right. What are we going to ask our neighbors then?”

“We should also consider that this baby might not belong to one of us.” Jungkook says.

Namjoon nods. “Maybe we should just ask them whether there were any suspicious woman near our house earlier.”

“Go wake Yoongi. He can’t bail out on this one.” Jin says toward Jungkook.

Jungkook groans but he goes anyway.

So they did just that. They all went one by one to the neighboring houses that consist mostly of elderlies. All of them responded that they didn’t see anyone near their house earlier. Poor Jimin was actually forced to stay at one of the oldest of their neighbors who lived across the street from them. She said that he looks just like her late husband and he stayed for hours there to have tea and chit chat.

“Help me.” The rest of the members saw Jimin mouthing pleas for help as he sits on the elderly woman’s front porch while the rest of the members could only laugh from the window looking outside. Only after the tea run out Jimin can go back to the house.

“You guys can go yourselves. I’ll get you all back for leaving me there.” He pouts and shot them death glares as he goes to the fridge and takes out a can of beer, immediately chugging it down as he sits on the sofa beside Taehyung who is still taking care of the baby. “If I hear anything about mahjong and gambling one more time I’ll go ballistic.”

Taehyung giggles as he rocks the baby carrier that he places on the sofa as the baby sleeps peacefully. “Oh, why is that?”

“Granny Han said that her husband was a gambling addict and that’s why he choked on a mahjong piece when he died.” Jimin sighs. “She kept on going on and on about that.”

Jungkook gives him a look. “Man… that’s actually dark.”

Jimin’s face is blank as he chugs on the beer again. “She actually said that he died happy because he won a lottery that day.”

“Then how did the mahjong piece got stuck on his throat?” Taehyung asks curiously.

Jimin shudders. “You don’t want to know. I’m going to go shower before dinner.” He gets up from the sofa.

“I guess it’s ual.” Hoseok laughs.

“Fascinating…” Taehyung looks like he is actually in awe.

Jimin nods and grimaces. “She simply doesn’t understand the concept of oversharing.” He shudders once again and then walks toward the stairs and then to his room to shower.

Around an hour later the living room smells heavenly because Seokjin is making pasta for dinner and everyone gather in the first floor.

Namjoon and Yoongi are on the piano because they are trying out different pieces they have composed recently to see what should be submitted to the label for their future album. Hoseok is in the kitchen along with Seokjin to chop vegetables to make a salad. Taehyung is still the one in charge of the baby as he sleeps in the baby carrier and Jungkook sits across from Taehyung as he reviews their recent stage. Jimin goes back downstairs after shower and starts to do laundry because it is his duty on that day. But they all have the baby on their minds and silently contemplates what they all have to do next.

Suddenly Namjoon’s phone rings. “Hello?” Apparently it was Sejin. After a few minutes Namjoon hangs up the phone. He gulps. “Hyung is on his way here. He is coming in thirty minutes.”

And then chaos erupts at the Bangtan household.