To Stardust

The Writer

Word quickly spread that Mina from EDEN had been kidnapped by a man dating a JYPE staff member. On top of that, this same man had not only injured his girlfriend but also murdered a JYPE trainee for witnessing the crime. Sana’s face was now plastered all over the news, along with Mina’s, Chaeyoung’s and Dowoon’s.

It was certainly the scandal of the century, and JYPE stock fell significantly in light of the newly exposed information. The management of EDEN was questioned—after all, letting a member be kidnapped under their own nose made both Nayeon and Sungjin look bad, despite the fact that Dowoon was cunning and had fooled everyone, including the police. However, the two managers were not let go, as these events were deemed occurrences out of their control.

The police department also faced great scrutiny for letting a murderer tamper with evidence and protect his own innocence, as an officer himself.

To say Chaeyoung was devastated was an understatement. The man she loved and thought she knew had turned out to be the same person who had condemned her to a wheelchair and squashed her dreams of being an idol forever. The thought of sleeping in the same bed as a murderer for months was chilling, and made the girl so paranoid that she could not be left alone for long. Nayeon insisted her sister move in with her for the time being, at least until the media fire calmed down and she felt safe. Nayeon babied her sister to no end, doing everything she could to help her sister get over these traumatic events.

Dowoon was to be put on trial for his actions, and the nation was holding their breath anxiously while waiting for the verdict. It seemed he was going to be put away for a long time, after police had recovered Sana’s old phone hidden away in his apartment. All Chaeyoung knew was that she never wanted to see his face again, so seeing the story all over the news was quite hard for her. She tried to avoid social media and wouldn’t leave Nayeon's apartment for awhile, as the press and media were ruthless in trying to get statements from her.

Chaeyoung would be called to the stand for the trial, by Dowoon’s defense, and she would testify as bravely as possible. It would take time, but she’d be okay.

Activities with EDEN had been all but halted as the company discussed the fate of the future of the idol group. While the group was now associated with darkness, it had also made their situation look sympathetic to the world. Mina had become the victim of a monster, but she was luckily safe now. Traumatized, yes, but safe.

Mina had awoken in the hospital the night Dowoon had been arrested, dazed and confused, but relieved to see Nayeon, Jihyo and Sana’s faces hovering above her. Luckily, she didn’t remember the brief time she’d been possessed by the evil spirit. Nayeon felt for the girl’s own sake, it was best if she never did.

Dowoon seemed to awake with the same confusion as Mina, which suggested that the evil spirit possessing him had been vanquished when Jihyo got rid of the one in Mina. Because of this, his lawyers would probably plead insanity. He would still be locked up for a long time.

Watching Jihyo’s TV after Mina had returned home and Nayeon went back to tend to her heartbroken sister, Sana had seen her parents step forward—her mother clinging to her father, crying in front of the microphones pushed in front of their faces. They were so happy to know that their daughter’s killer would face justice and not be able to hurt anyone again. Seeing Sana crying along with her parents on TV, Jihyo held onto the ghost’s hand, squeezing it reassuringly.

It would be awhile before things settled down but they would. Time heals almost anything. Sometimes more slowly than others but, nonetheless, things would get easier. Or so Jihyo hoped.

 

It was hard for Nayeon to find excuses to see Mina with EDEN’s schedule empty, and the girls taking needed time off to go home and spend time with their families, but Nayeon thought about the girl constantly. When Mina was back from Japan, Nayeon picked her up from the airport and drove her back to the apartment on her own. There'd been a mob of fans and press alike as Mina got off the plane, waiting to hear from the girl who had been launched into global spotlight, but a small team of security kept the girl protected and clear from any harm.

Alone, for the first time in awhile, things felt somewhat awkward—but that quickly changed once Nayeon and Mina embraced. “God, I missed you so much,” Nayeon whispered in the girls ear.

“I missed you too.” Mina hugged the girl back tightly, not wanting to let her go. “It’s been hard to be away from the other members, but I think it was good for me.”

“I’m glad.” Nayeon withdrew from the hug and lightly tucked a strand of hair behind Mina’s ear, which had fallen in front of the younger girls face. Nayeon gave the girl a bright smile and laughed awkwardly. “No one else is getting back until tomorrow so...do you wanna watch a movie?”

So they watched a movie...among other things.

Despite the series of terrible events that had occurred only weeks ago, Nayeon and Mina could finally feel at peace in each others arms. They didn't know how they'd make their relationship work, perhaps they'd even have to continue on in secret for the foreseeable future, but nothing felt worse than having to deal with Dowoon. They'd figure it out, together.

 

Sana decided to give Mina some space, figuring the girl had dealt enough with ghostly drama to last her a lifetime. She holed up with Jihyo, happy to have the company. Just as Sana and Jihyo had suspected, it seemed bringing Dowoon to justice had rid Sana of the darkness that was slowly turning her into an evil spirit. So she may have been a ghost after all, but it was never that which was tying her here to the realm of the living. Sana was finally free.

Jihyo was munching on some watermelon when she suddenly spoke and startled Sana out of a day dream.

“Sana, there’s been something I’ve been meaning to ask you. A few weeks ago, when we were fighting against that evil spirit that possessed Mina, it said something about you being in love with a human...” She looked at the ghost sympathetically. Just by her expression, Sana knew what Jihyo was going to say.

Holding up a hand, Sana stopped the girl. “Jihyo, don’t feel sorry for me.”

Jihyo bit her tongue and sighed, continuing to stare at Sana’s melancholic expression. “I just find it funny, you had your sights set on Nayeon because she was the key, and yet you fell for someone else…”

Jihyo knew, then. Had it been that obvious?

Sana closed her eyes and took a breath. When she opened them, a small, wavering smile appeared on her face. “I don’t quite understand it myself. It’s strange...how badly she makes me want to be alive again. Just so I could touch her for real—earnestly, with warmth, instead of with my cold, dead hands.” Sana looked down at her palms, wrinkling her nose in disgust.

“Nothing good can come from this,” Jihyo said, reaching out and taking one of Sana’s hands. “But you know, even though you’re a ghost, your hand still feels like a hand to me. A little chilly, yes, but still just like a hand.” She gave Sana a warm smile. “You can stay here in this world now, at least for a little while, right? Your killer is behind bars, and Mina is safe. You have no unfinished business threatening you anymore.” Ironic, there was a time when Jihyo wanted nothing more than Sana to pass on to the other side for causing her so much trouble with the ancestors. And now? She didn’t want Sana to go.

Sana gave Jihyo a small smile back but it quickly faltered. “All I’ve been trying to do these past 3 years is move on and get to that paradise everyone whispers about after they die. But now, I have people I’ll be leaving behind if I go.” Her voice was slightly shaky as tears began to form behind her eyes. “I need to go, although it’ll be hard. It’s what we’re all meant to do. I have to say goodbye.”

Jihyo sniffled as tears began to form in her own eyes. “It’s for the best, I suppose. I know the ancestors love it there. They haven’t told me what it’s like but I know you’ll love it. You’ll be happy, for all eternity.” Jihyo’s voice grew quiet as she looked down at the ground, shutting and trying to prevent any tears from actually flowing.

“I said goodbye to all my ghost friends already, there’s just the humans left,” Sana said. “Well, only you and Mina will actually get to hear me say goodbye. Whenever I’m ready...I’ll go say goodbye to Mina and come back here before I go.”

Sana wasn’t sure when that would be, but it would have to be sometime soon.

It was a few days later, when Sana decided it was time.

 

Sana found Mina laying on her bed in the EDEN dorm, playing a game on her phone. She sat down next to the girl, silently, just basking in the look of concentration on Mina’s face that caused the girl’s brow to furrow and her eyes to widen. It was pure determination. Sana almost giggled.

 

“Hey,” Mina said, without taking her eyes off the screen. She was alone in the room while the rest of her group members were watching a drama in the common space. “Give me one sec.” The rest of the girls arrived home a few days after Mina had returned from Japan on her own. It was nice to return to a sense of normalcy, although their schedule was still empty and they were left in a slightly stress inducing limbo of whether or not they would be disbanding.

Sana waited patiently, not taking her eyes off Mina before the girl had finished her round of the game. Setting her phone down, she looked at Sana expectantly as she sat up.

“It’s time for me to go. Today’s the day,” Sana said, looking down at the bed and unable to make eye contact.

Mina looked at her in shock—slight smile turning into an instantaneous frown. “T-today?” the girl asked. She’d always known Sana would be leaving at some point, but she never imagined it’d be so soon.

“It’s the third anniversary of my death. I can move on now, knowing Eunha knows the truth about what happened to me and that my murderer will never hurt anyone again. I already said my goodbyes to her, and now I’m saying them to you.”

“Oh…” Mina replied, staring down at her clasped hands. “Well I’m glad you can finally move on.” Her voice was shaking slightly and tears were welling up in her eyes. “It’s a better place, right? This otherside you’ll be going too?”

“Don’t get all sentimental on me now,” Sana smiled, turning to face Mina and wiping a tear sliding down the girl’s cheek. “But yes, it’s supposed to be amazing. There’s no need to cry for me, okay?”

“I’m sorry,” Mina tried to smile but only began criying more instead.

“Remember not to apologize for everything. Be strong. You’ve already changed a lot; you’re not as timid as you used to be. You deserve the world, so demand it!”

Mina nodded. “You’ll watch over me from above, won’t you?” She asked quietly.

Sana smiled warmly at the other girl. “Of course.”

Mina looked up at Sana, who she could see she was starting to tear up as well.

“Look what you’ve done. I wouldn’t be tearing up if you weren’t a mess.” She quickly wiped away her own tears.

“Thank you, for everything,” Mina sighed. “Because of you, Nayeon and I...we’re together. This would never be possible without you.”

“Mina, I…” Sana paused, taking a breath. “Over these past few weeks, I really had fun. With you, and the other members, and Nayeon,” she admitted, smiling slightly, causing Mina to elbow her playfully. “You didn’t have to help me, but you did, and I’ll always be thankful for that.”

But there’s something else I need to say, something I want you to know.

I’m so lucky it was you I stumbled upon that fateful day. I could’ve possessed anyone while running from Jihyo but it happened to be you. That just can’t be a coincidence, right? I don’t know if I believe in fate but, I’d like to think meeting you was mine.”

I love you. I don’t know when it happened exactly, or even where we were when my heart decided to fall, but...I am so in love with you.

Sana’s eyes were shining so brightly, gazing at Mina intensely, that in that moment Mina forgot Sana was a ghost. After all, how could someone who was dead give off such a glow of light? How could someone who was dead make Mina’s heart feel so full?

Mina nearly threw herself at Sana, wrapping the girl into a big hug. Taken aback slightly by the intense skinship, Sana froze momentarily before returning the hug tightly.

“Thanks for giving me the chance to experience being an idol, if only for a little bit.” Sana said as she pulled away from Mina and stood up off the bed.

“Are you going to say goodbye to the rest of the members?” Mina asked, standing up as well.

“What’s the point?” Sana shrugged. “They can’t see or hear me. I’ll just take comfort in knowing you guys will continue to be together, working hard. I bet you guys will go on to accomplish even more great things!”

“Possess me and spend a little more time with them,” Mina replied, stepping forward. She held out her arms confidently. “And tell Tzuyu goodbye as well, I’m sure she’d like to hear from you.”

Sana looked at her like she was crazy. “What? No, I can’t do that. That’s all behind me now.”

“I’m giving you permission. Just do it one last time. I won’t let another ghost possess me again,” Mina assured. She pulled the anti-ghost spell Jihyo had provided out of her pocket, waving it to prove her point.

“I can’t. It doesn’t feel right,” Sana said, after hesitating a moment. She turned to walk away but Mina grabbed her wrist with lightning speed. Mina yanked Sana backward with a strength Sana didn’t realize the younger girl had, and suddenly Sana was falling right into Mina. There was a familiar jolt and Sana was seeing the world through Mina’s eyes once again.

“What am I going to do with you, Mina?” Sana whispered to herself. She debated jumping right out again, but she figured she should take this opportunity to spend some final time with the members. She walked out into the common space, feeling slightly nervous. She stood on her tiptoes, looking out at the members cuddled on the couch staring in concentration at the drama. By the looks of it, it was a sappy romance—something Sana would normally cry over.

“Decided to grace us with your presence?” Jeongyeon teased, having turned around and noticed Sana standing there hesitantly.

Sana smiled and nodded, moving forward to join the girls on the couch after they moved over and made space for their friend. Seated in between Tzuyu and Momo, the ghost felt at ease. She’d grown fond of all the girls, despite having only spent a short time with them. But they don’t even know you, Sana reminded herself. That somehow made things easier, to say goodbye.

By the end of the movie, some of the girls were sniffling. Sana stifled a laugh at seeing silent tears streaming down Tzuyu’s face.

Tzuyu looked embarrassed that Sana had seen her so she huffed, causing Sana to smile and pinch her cheek.

“I’m thankful for you all,” Sana began, causing the girls to look over at her in surprise. “Thank you for...being so kind and welcoming to me.”

Dahyun gave her a funny look but then smiled. “You’re acting like a stranger. We’re family, that’s what family is for!”

Tzuyu’s eyebrow arched at Sana’s words, quickly realizing it was Sana actually sitting next to her and not Mina.

Momo fidgeted with her glasses before reaching over and taking Sana’s hand. “We’ll always be here for you. We love you.”

Sana bit her lip to stop any tears from forming—no one else knew she was saying goodbye, so a random fit of crying might be suspicious. “I love you guys too,” she admitted.

“I see this movie has got us all sentimental...let’s watch something happier,” Jeongyeon suggested while wiping her eyes.

And so the girls decided on a comedy—laughing together. Sana savored the moment of normalcy. Afterward, Tzuyu tapped Sana on the shoulder and suggested they go to the kitchen.

The two girls stood on opposite sides of the kitchen counter, staring across at one another.

“You’re leaving?” Tzuyu guessed, looking at Sana with a bit of concern.

Sana nodded. “It’s time for me to pass on to the other side. I can’t linger around here for too long, that will only make things harder. I’ll never wanna go, and I’ll keep getting tormented by the things I want but can never have.”

An unreadable expression passed over Tzuyu’s feature’s quickly—was it understanding?––before she nodded. “Thanks for helping to save Mina and putting Dowoon behind bars. The thought of Chaeyoung being with a monster like that...it makes me sick. He won’t be able to hurt anyone again. I’d say keep in touch but...well, guess there’s none of that where you’re going.”

“I’m don’t think so,” Sana replied, smiling. “Just, take care of Mina and the rest of the girls, okay? And you take care too, Tzu. Make sure you stay healthy and don’t work too hard.”

“Of course.”

“Okay, I guess I have one last person to say goodbye to. Nayeon. I guess I’ll…give her a call?” Sana slipped Mina’s phone out of her pocket, looking at it a bit hesitant. “But first…” Sana closed the distance between her and the taller girl and hugged her tightly. “Thanks for all your help.”

Tzuyu squeezed the girl back, gave the girl a small smile, and began to walk back toward the common space. “Oh, by the way, I’m glad you showed me that not all ghosts are bad afterall.”

Sana smiled and watched the girl leave, feeling the phone weigh even heavier in her hand. Calling Nayeon would be awkward but...what else could she do? Searching for Nayeon’s contact, Sana dialed the number and waited for the manager to pick up.

“Hey, what’s up?” Nayeon answered. Her voice sounded both happy and concerned at the same time—happy to see Mina’s contact light up her phone, but concerned the girl would have some bad news. There had been so much bad news lately.

“Hey, Nayeon,” Sana paused, taking a breath. “This is...Sana, actually.”

Nayeon was awkwardly silent for a moment. “Oh...hi. Um, what’s going on?”

“I just wanted to say goodbye. I’m crossing over to the other side today. I’m saying all my final goodbyes. I didn’t want to possess Mina again but she...kind of insisted. I figured I’d thank you for helping bring Dowoon down while I had the opportunity.”

“You’re leaving?” Nayeon asked, a bit taken off guard. For some reason, the thought of the ghost girl not being an invisible presence around her and her friends made her sad. “And it was nothing...I mean, he was a monster that needed to be stopped. There’s no reason to thank me. I should be the one saying thank you, for letting me know he was a monster in the first place. I wish I would’ve believed you all sooner. I wish I...would’ve believed Mina sooner about the ghosts, too.”

“It’s hard to believe what you can’t see,” Sana assured. “It’s okay, and I know Mina understands.”

It made Nayeon feel better to hear Sana say that, ironically using Mina’s voice. “Well, I hope you enjoy your paradise,” Nayeon said. “I’m happy I got to meet you, eventually.”

“Sorry things were awkward, with me kissing you and everything,” Sana replied, smiling sheepishly.

“You weren’t too bad of a kisser,” Nayeon admitted. Sana could practically envision the older girl’s smug expression on the other line.

“You weren’t too bad yourself,” Sana retorted, finding Nayeon amusing. “And Nayeon?”

“Hm?” the girl hummed.

“Tell Sungjin you want to write a song for EDEN. I know all those lyrics you’ve written in your songbook are genius...don’t just let them sit there and rot. That’s a disservice to everyone! You only live once, okay, unless you become a ghost like me and even then it’s not really living. So take advantage of your time now and don’t let the fear of being turned down stop you!”

Nayeon laughed at Sana’s random advice-filled rant, but she did appreciate it. She was surprised Sana even remembered seeing her songbook in the car. “Alright, I promise you I’ll try to write a song for them. Now, I won’t keep you any longer. Just take your time saying goodbye to Mina, she’s gonna miss you.”

“I know.” Sana’s stomach dropped at the thought of saying goodbye to Mina forever. “I’ll miss her too, very much. Goodbye, Nayeon.”

“Bye, Sana.”

Sana hung up the phone but continued to stand awkwardly in the kitchen. There was really just Mina and Jihyo left to say goodbye to now. Why did saying goodbye have to be so hard?

She placed her hands flat against the cool kitchen counter, feeling the surface against her fingers. This would be the last time she felt the physical sensation of touch here on earth, but would she be able to touch things in the paradise she was promised as well?

Sana left Mina’s body then, knowing she had to say goodbye now. Part of her didn’t want to leave, but she knew staying any longer would just make her moving on more painful.

“I’m gonna go say goodbye to Jihyo and then…” Sana’s voice trailed off. Mina was looking at her intensely, and she couldn’t bear to maintain eye contact.

“This is really it, huh?” Mina asked. Her voice sounded so small. Just at the sound of it, Sana wanted to wrap her arms around the girl and hold her tightly, but she held back, keeping a necessary distance.

“It is.” Sana sighed. “It’s funny, it feels like I’m dying but I’m already dead.”

“A second death.” Mina reached out and took Sana’s hand in her own. “Your hand feels real to me. As real as anyone else’s.”

Mina leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on Sana’s cheek. At the touch, Sana closed her eyes and held her breath, only releasing it once Mina’s lips had stopped brushing her cheek.

Should I say it? Sana thought. Last chance...the last time I’ll ever see her again, be able to hear her voice—

I think in another life, if you were still here, we would’ve been friends. If we hadn’t met under these circumstances, I mean,” Mina explained. “I wish I would’ve known you as a trainee...but I’m glad I got to meet you eventually. This makes my gift of seeing ghosts worth it.”

In that moment, Sana despised Dowoon more than anything—for taking her life. For costing her a future that could’ve been filled with feelings like the one she was feeling now. A longing, painful love.

But, she swallowed the three words that had been bubbling in , for Mina’s sake. It was better this way, like Jihyo had said.

So Sana simply nodded, reaching forward to close the gap between them one final time, and gave the girl a tight hug. “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too.”

“I’ll see you when it’s your time, I’ll be waiting.” Sana squeezed Mina’s hands as she pulled away from the girl. They both had tears streaming down their face now.

“Goodbye.” Sana blew the girl a kiss, causing Mina to laugh despite her tears. As Sana teleported back to Jihyo’s apartment, she watched Mina stare back at her until the girl was gone.

“Bye, Sana.” Mina replied, softly. She was alone.


 

“I said my goodbyes,” Sana announced.

Jihyo popped up off her couch and smiled at the news. “Sana, I’m proud of you...for coming this far. You know, I really thought you were going to be an evil spirit, trapped on Earth forever, but you proved me wrong.”

“Should’ve had more faith in me.” Sana stepped forward and gave the girl a warm hug.

After about 10 seconds, Jihyo sighed and let go of the ghost. “Maybe I’ll still hear from you, like the ancestors? Bless me with good fortune in the future, will you?”

“Only if you deserve it,” Sana teased. “Just make sure you take care of Mina, Chaeyoung and Nayeon, okay? I know I can count on you.”

Jihyo gave the girl a salute. “Of course. Now, you see that bright light, don’t you?”

 

“Yes, I’ve seen it for awhile now, ever since Dowoon was arrested, but I’ve tried my best to ignore it. It’s so pretty, Jihyo.” Sana turned to gaze at the light, one which Jihyo herself could not see but had been described to her by ghosts many times.

“Just walk toward it, and let it engulf you,” Jihyo instructed.

“Okay,” Sana nodded. She clenched her fists, building up the courage to leave everything she’d ever known. “Thanks, Jihyo.”

“No need to thank me, just doing my job,” Jihyo replied lightly. She smiled at Sana, letting a few tears slip down her face, before Sana began to walk forward, slowly and hesitantly, until she disappeared from Jihyo’s vision.

Sana was gone.

 

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captain18
Sorry this fic took me so so long to finish...I honestly felt so sad saying goodbye to these characters so it was hard for me... anyway, hope you enjoyed! Also, a reminder to follow me on twitter @captainmitang. I'll be trying a social media AU for the first time in the near future.

Comments

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myouivl #1
Chapter 11: I finished it and i'm crying asf because Sana had a dream and she never couldn't make it real
SmolSanaisPomu
#2
Chapter 11: Can't we have a sequel where Misana is the endgame?
SmolSanaisPomu
#3
Chapter 11: I still feel pain for misana ending huhuhu.... They could have been a couple if Sana was still alive. Obviously Mina has feelings for her too
_francesleina #4
Chapter 11: all throughout the story, i only feel anxious for whatever may happen the next chapter. but now i have come this far, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT ILL HAVE TO CRY!! uuuhhhh thank you for this story author-nim!!
ryujintuk #5
Chapter 11: I FEEL SO SAD FOR SANA AASHDHDKDFH IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR A SEQUEL???? SKSKSK THIS WAS SO GOOD
Teudoongie1
#6
Chapter 11: Aaaahhhhhck!!!! This is so beautiful ❤️
My_Bunny_Nayeon
#7
Chapter 11: I re read this again.. and the feels same the first time i read it... AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH I really Love the story!!(T.T)
The_red_lover99 #8
Chapter 11: i'm NOT crying, i'm inG ! ! S O B B i N G ! !

there's a difference.
The_red_lover99 #9
Chapter 6: okay, it's cool, everything's okay, i'm TOTALLY fine, i'm definitely NOT losing my right now, i'm VERY calm atm like i'm REALLY totally fine *death shrieks at the void*
The_red_lover99 #10
Chapter 3: this was supposed to be a light read before i got to sleep.

but i CANNOT stop reading it.