Destiny is one big fat , you’ve known that ever since you learned about the very basic concept of soulmates. Apparently, being born with your soulmate’s name already tattooed on your arm is a rare case. A lot of reasons can cause this unique phenomenon, but yours was humiliating.

Now that you think about it as an adult, it’s not as shaming as it was when you were younger, but the people around you made you believe that it was. And you dragged that belief along with you until now in college.

Even just a single letter of the name or a small peek of skin on your arms show, it gives you the most exasperating panic attacks. You couldn’t even show your arms to anyone other than your mother, but slowly, with the help of your psychiatrist and the people around you (aka your mom, her best friend that you call aunt and her husband) you can now finally show your bare arms to the people who you were close with. But then a cover-up of a cardigan is still needed when you’re in public as it acts like a mobile version of a safety blanket for you.

All your close friends say that it’s okay, but you still hide your arms anyway, away from the public eye by wearing long-sleeved shirts. Hot summer days are the worst because you can’t wear the pretty dresses you own without wearing any thin cover-ups.

Normally, your soulmate’s name will only appear when you finally met them, but you’re part of the three percent of the world’s population where you were born with their name already embedded on your skin.

You were born out of wedlock and then your father left your very pregnant mother at the tender age of eighteen when he finally met his soulmate. To make matters even worse, your grandparents, who were (and still are) the most traditional-thinking people you’ve met in your life, kicked her out before you were even born.

Good thing her best friend’s parents took her in and let her stay as long as she wants. But of course, your mother doesn’t want to be a burden to anyone forever, so she found a job to finally support the two of you. Twenty years later, she’s now in a big position in the company she started with. After struggling to juggle work, college and taking care of you, she finally got a degree and was immediately promoted. Her bosses were impressed by how hard-working, intelligent and self-reliant she was. She now earns enough to send you to College 10 times over.

Among other things, your mother also invested money into your aunt’s business, which is booming in success. Money is not a problem for you or your mother. But you do everything you can to make her feel proud, by being great academically. Although she assures you that she will be proud of you no matter how small or big your future achievements will be. That’s just how much she loves you. If not for the different name on your arm, you’d think your mom is your soulmate.

“Mom, why haven’t you found your soulmate yet?”

You ask suddenly as you help prepare the ingredients for the meal your mother will whip up for her best friend's monthly traditional visit with her own family. You drove hours from Seoul for this, it only happens once a month and you’re excited to see your aunt and her family again. You may not be blood-related, but you still see them as your own kin. You help tutor your aunt’s young children whenever you see them and you are their favorite older sister figure. It’s a beautiful tradition and you wouldn’t want to miss it for anything, even though the drive back to your apartment is a pain.

“I don’t know honey, destiny probably knows how messed up my life used to be. Also, I’m too focused on keeping the both of us alive, I never wanted to love again after your father left me.”

She answers very straightforwardly without a hint of bitterness in the words she let out. She told you millions of times before that she wasn’t mad at your father anymore and it’s obvious whenever you both talk about him just out of the blue. Your mother never put down and criticize your father to you, she wasn’t even mad that her own parents kicked her out and never once helped her when she was struggling to raise you. She was still the one who reached out to them first to reconcile. After years of persuasion, they finally let her (with you in tow now) in again.

You only wish to be half as great as she is, she’s a really good role model for anyone, to be honest. She’s a real angel on this earth. That’s why you always set her up with people of your choice (Professors, Single parents of your peers and etc) but none of them clicked with her. She said she’s perfectly content being a mother to you. She’s secure and comfortable in herself enough that she doesn’t need any man to make her feel complete. Her job, her friends and especially you, makes her the happiest.

“You’re not mad at my father right, mom?”

You ask and she hums and just smiles genuinely as a reply to your question.

“How come? If I were you, I would be pissed.”

Well yeah, you don’t even know what he looks like or what his name was because you never wanted to know. Your mother would show pictures of him, but they never took any before. Life was difficult back then, a camera will cost you an arm and a leg before you can buy one.

“Why would I be mad, I was in love with him and he gave me you. You’re the greatest blessing I received in life, honey.”

Your mother flashes you a playful smile, yet the tone of her voice says she’s speaking from the heart. Being around your mother is what excites you the most about coming back home. You constantly thank the heavens that she is your mother, her happiness is your priority.

After a couple of hours of helping her out in the kitchen, you started getting attacked by the yawn syndrome. You woke up so early this morning so you can get back home the earliest you possibly can. You insist that you wanted to help out, but she let you go and have a few more hours of sleep. She said you will be needing it because the kids are getting more active as they grow, the energy you’ll get from the nap will help you out. You agreed with her and fell asleep on your bed in your old room that the helpers kept clean consistently. You wake up three hours later feeling refreshed, you stayed in bed for a few minutes more, scrolling through your SNS when you received a message from your best friend.

CrispyBaekhyun: When will you be back?
CrispyBaekhyun: I miss you already! (╥ω╥)

UseHerName: There, there. (っ´ω`)ﾉ(╥ω╥)
UseHerName: I’ll be back tonight.

CrispyBaekhyun: I’m so bored, I should’ve come with you. (＞﹏＜)

UseHerName: Where’s your giant boy toy?

CrispyBaekhyun: Still in class. (--_--)

UseHerName: Well you can still go now if you wanna be on time for dinner? :D

CrispyBaekhyun: Channie’s car is still at the repair shop.
CrispyBaekhyun: 。゜゜(´Ｏ`) ゜゜。

UseHerName: You can take the subway???
UseHerName: :/ :/ :/

CrispyBaekhyun: Uuuhh …..
CrispyBaekhyun: no.

UseHerName: Well, suffer being alone til Channie gets home. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
UseHerName: BYE DON’T TEXT ME EVER AGAIN.
UseHerName: I’m disowning you.

CrispyBaekhyun: Fine! I’ll play LoL all day then!!!

UseHerName: LOL!!!
UseHerName: See what I did there?
UseHerName: ㅋㅋㅋ

CrispyBaekhyun: I’m disowning you too!

With a silent laugh, you put down your smartphone on your bedside table and stretch your limbs, sprawling everywhere. As you sat up on the edge of your bed, your door slowly open and your mom’s head pops out to peek. Her lips curl up into a smile that can clear dark clouds in a jiffy when she saw you’re finally up. You smile back as you stretch your arms up again to finally wake your still sluggish body fully.

“They will be here soon, dear. Just letting you know.”

She spoke when you didn’t. You beamed at the mention of your aunt coming.

“A heads up though, a guest will come. Do you have a cardigan you can wear?”

“Yeah I do, mom. Who’s the guest, by the way?”

You ask her, honestly curious as to whoever it was to join the family for dinner. Ever since this monthly family practice started five years ago, you never have guests ever. Not that you hated the idea of having a guest over, it’s just that this tradition to you is comfortable. You don’t have to cover yourself up because the people around you know you and what you’ve been through. The idea of wearing a cardigan inside your comfort zone is making you nervous. Hopefully, you won’t have a panic attack and completely humiliate yourself in front of the guest, it has been almost eight years now since you last experience it.

“Oh, he’s a boy your age. He is the son of Taewoo’s Chinese business partner. He’s been with them for a week now, I believe. And your uncle Taewoo told me he’s here to transfer to a university in Seoul because he got a scholarship. They told me he is a smart and hardworking boy. Despite having a comfortable life, he does things on his own and does not depend on his father’s wealth. Exactly like you my dear.”

Your mom elaborates, you just bob your head up and down as she did so, not really knowing what to say next. She gave you a soft caress on your cheek before excusing herself to do last minute preparations for dinner. Immediately after she closes your bedroom door, you ran to your bag in the corner of your room and pull out the cardigan you were wearing going here this morning. Grabbing your phone from your bedside table clad in your cardigan, your mood slowly plummeting. When you ran into your mother in the kitchen, you excused yourself and told her you will be hanging out in the garden for a little bit. She flashes you a quick smile and a nod as you make your move to the garden, trekking your way to a tuck-away spot where you used to hide a lot when you were younger.

When you got there, you saw your eight-year old white and fluffy cat Mr. Marshmallow napping on the chair you used to fall asleep on. Mr. Marshmallow’s head shoots up when it heard the grass below your feet rustles as you make your way to it. The cat completely sat up and when you got in front of it, Mr. Marshmallow jumps up on you and you welcome the cat into a warm hug inside your arms.

“Hello, Mr. Marshmallow, did you miss me?”

As if on cue, the cat started rumbling with loud purrs and rubs its face on your chin lovingly. You miss your cat too much and you would want to bring it along with you in Seoul, but then your mother will be left alone. Mr. Marshmallow helps your mom de-stress just as much it helped you relax during your hard times. You wouldn’t want to take that away from her. Since you’re hours away from your mom and It’s bad enough that you only get to see her once a month, you might as well leave a piece of you with her through Mr. Marshmallow.

What felt like 10 minutes to you was actually an hour already. You could just sit around, be cozy and pet your cat forever, one hour wasn’t the longest you’ve spent lazing around with Mr. Marshmallow. You look up and sure enough, the sky is already turning dark purple as it transitions into night time. You take that as a cue to go back inside the house. Your aunt and her family must be here already and you cannot wait to see them again. It’s been a long month and you miss them dearly, especially the kids. They probably brought their Math and English homework along with them. The kids are really smart and pretty mature for their age, but they enjoy your company so much, they purposely not do their homework whenever they know they’ll get to see you again. You wish you could have children just like them someday, that is if your soulmate wants to have kids.

The moment you enter through the back door, your mom and aunt’s necks crank in your direction. You beamed at them and your aunt immediately jumps down the island stool to give you the biggest squeeze of a hug she can give you.

“How are you, love?”

Your mom’s best friend asks looking up at your towering height as she tucks your hair behind your ears lovingly.

“I’m doing really great auntie, how about you? How’s the business?”

“Oh, everything is perfect my dear! Come I’ll introduce you to Yixing!”

Wait, what the hell? Yi—Yixing? Could it be…

“Yixing?”

“Yes! Come, come! Also, the children are excited to see you again!”

Your aunt was so eager and enthusiastic that she failed to notice the slight dread of your expression. Of course, your mother saw right through you, she might not know exactly what agitated you all of a sudden, but she knows you’re kind of on edge already. Your mother just gave you a weak apologetic smile, letting you know that your aunt is just excited to see you again.

With a silent sigh of defeat, you let yourself be dragged by your aunt to the living area. Before you can even make your way there, you pull your lips up to a convincing smile, checking the arms of your cardigan if it’s covering you enough. Satisfied with it, you suddenly stopped walking. You look up and you saw your aunt’s children, Soora and Songho running to your direction while screaming your name. Your aunt finally lets go of your hand and you drop to your knees on the soft carpet as the children tackle you into the biggest hug of the century. The three of you started laughing while you all roll on the floor in delight.

“Noona, Noona I missed you so much!”

Songho, the youngest of the two, screech while peppering half of your face with kisses.

“Nuh-uh, I missed eonni so much more!”

Soora, the elder child banters as she peppers the other half of your face with equally loving kisses as the younger boy.

“Well, I miss you both the most! I WIN!”

You teased and the two kids laugh boisterously, making the other adults laugh along with the three of you.

When you stood up from the carpeted floor, Songho ran to the other direction. You were looking down and staring adoringly at Soora whose eyes were twinkling as she returns your gaze. When you finally look up to see where Songho was going, the boy is already hauling an unknown guy over to where you are situated. The minute you set your eyes on him, you felt it. You felt the pull and a fire suddenly ignited in your chest.

“Hyung, Hyung this is my Noona! Say hi to her!”

Songho said as he tugs at who you think was Yixing’s hand. Oh my gosh, is he really the Yixing that was tattooed on your arm? Or did the pull you felt was just your nerves? You were jolted back to life when he mentions your name. Your stomach immediately starts churning and your skin is slightly tingly with agitation.

“Y—you know my name?”

“Yeah. All they talk about is you, I felt like I’ve already known you before I even met you.”

“Oh—”

“I’m Yixing—”

He swipes the palm of his right hand marginally on his jeans before extending it for you to take. You cautiously reach out, swallowing the lump that’s already starting to build up in your throat, while making sure your hands are not trembling. WISHING to the heavens above you that your hand is not trembling TOO bad. God, you can only hope you look calm on the outside. Because holy ing , your insides are shaking so bad, it’s like an earthquake about a magnitude of 100, if that’s even possible.

“Zhang Yixing.”

Your breathing hitched the moment your skin met his. The slight tingle became stronger. It’s like every muscle and every limb of your body fell asleep. Like being electrocuted so bad you’re sure you won’t be able to survive it, but you’re still alive and woke. Holy , did he feel it too?

Your eyes caught his left arm briefly and…

Written in beautiful cursive on his wrist was…

‘KIM SUNYE’

How is this possible? You’re sure that he is the one, the person who the name is written on your wrist belongs to. You felt it. You’re sure you didn’t just imagine the pull that you felt, and the tingles that are still buzzing until now. It just won’t stop, how can the feelings stop now when he’s already sitting across from you on the dining table, enjoying the meat your mother prepared herself. You just know in your heart that he is the Zhang Yixing that is permanently tattooed on your skin ever since you were born.

But why does he already have a name for him? And why is it not your name? It should be your name! It’s impossible not to be your soulmate’s soulmate, right? It was not written in any of the books you have read before, and definitely not taught in school. How can this happen? How common is the name Zhang Yixing is in China for him not to be the one? Could it be that he’s not the Zhang Yixing you’re looking for? Still, you can feel it in you, you can feel it in your heart that he IS the one.

“Honey are you okay?”

You were suddenly awoken from your deep thoughts by the calm question of your aunt from beside you. You look up from your food to her hands as she places down her spoon on the placemat under her plate. The warm palm of her left-hand covers the back of your right hand in a motherly manner.

“I— I… “

“You haven’t touched your food yet.”

The concerned voice of your mother spoke from the other side of your aunt, causing you to look up some more and you were met with both of them looking at you full of concern. You didn’t notice that the whole table got quiet and are now watching you squirm internally, like a pygmy-sized germ under a microscope. You look around now and met eyes with Yixing and he gave you a weak smile as if saying some nonvocal words of comfort. It hasn’t been two hours since you met this person yet you already know he’s a kind character.

“Yeah, I’m—I’m okay. I just have a little headache.”

You lied convincingly. Well, everyone seemed to buy it except your mother, she can see right through you. But she knows you don’t want to ruin this night that’s why you lied and she let it pass.

“Please eat even a little and I can give you some pill later, okay?”

You mother smiles at you knowing exactly what to say at the right time.

“Thank you, mom.”

You say as you pick up the forgotten chopsticks beside your bowl of rice. The conversation went back to normal, even the kids are asking you questions and you answer them as best as you can with your slowly declining mood.

“Oh, I almost forgot. Did you bring your homework with you tonight?”

You smiled at both Soora and Songho. The two children look at each other in a very nervous way, as if they did something completely bad.

“What’s wrong?”

You ask again when none of them answers your first question.

“Well…”

Soora started, but she trails her words as she thinks of a response in her young yet broad mind.

“Yixing oppa already helped us this morning.”

She finally answers after what felt like hours.

“Oh, okay.”

You gaze at Yixing who was listening to your conversation with the kids and he rubs the nape of his neck in a sheepish manner when your eyes met.

“Noona, please don’t be jealous. We still love you.”

Songho slightly stood up from his chair in an attempt to reach for you, but he stopped himself when you laughed at what he said.

“Noona is not jealous, Songho. I’m glad you found another person who will help you with homework. Because Noona is not always good on every school topic.”

“But you are good at everything, Eonni!”

Soora who was sitting on your left, protested as she tugs on your clothes with a cute little pout on her face.

“And Yixing Hyung is just as good too. Just like you Noona!”

Songho triumphantly squeaks out, as if he won a gold medal in a game in the Pyeongchang Winter Olympics.

“That’s great!”

After dinner you volunteered to do the dishes, even though you have multiple househelpers to do it, you just wanted to get away from everyone for a few minutes, especially Yixing to calm the earthquake on your mind. You know doing the dishes will help you slow down your raging nerves and it did just that because after you were done, you’re already all smiles when you went back to where everyone was. The adults drinking the leftover wine from dinner ( your uncle Taewoo is drinking coffee instead because he will have to drive back home) and the kids were watching late night cartoons while seated comfortably on the couch.

A couple hours later, you excused yourself and told everyone that you will head on back to Seoul because you have an early class tomorrow morning for the first day of a new semester.

“Honey, isn’t Yixing going to the same University as _____?”

Your aunt utters suddenly, you stopped filling the eco bag with the food your mother packed for you and your roommate to share with for the rest of the week. You look up with all of them looking at you as if the bulbs on top of their heads were lit up.

“If it’s not too much for you, can you bring Yixing along with you to Seoul? I was going to drive him there tonight, but it’s getting late and the children have school early in the morning.”

You uncle Taewoo explains while scratching the back of his head. He clearly forgot his duty for Yixing because tonight’s dinner get-together was fun.

“Only if you can, my dear…”

“It’s okay with me, I can drive Yixing-ssi to Seoul.”

You smiled in response, looking at Yixing whose cheeks are flushed with slight abashment.

“Or I can drive us to Seoul?”

Yixing suggested.

“Sure, if you want to.”

*****

You’re now entering Seoul…

You were awoken from the nap you didn’t know you took, by the female voice of your GPS navigation system. Just as you open your eyes, sure enough, you were met with a ‘Seoul’ road sign on the highway you were driving on. You extend your arms slightly and stretched your back to wake yourself up completely.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know I fell asleep.”

You murmur and Yixing glimpsed at you for a few seconds before looking ahead on the road again.

“It’s fine, you look really tired so I let you sleep. But I’m glad you’re awake now because I don’t know where to go from here.”

“You want me to drive now?”

“No, it’s fine just tell me where to go.”

Awkward silence once again fell between the both of you. You try to remember if your uncle Taewoo gave any of you directions to where Yixing will be staying, but your mind is still soup-like and unclear from the nap you took.

“Yixing, did any of them tell us where you’ll be staying in Seoul?”

Yixing suddenly has a realization that, no, none of the folks tell you where he is staying. His mouth fell slightly open as he thinks of a response. You look at the screen of the GPS on the dashboard of your car to see the time, the numbers flash twelve-thirty AM.

“Oh… Oh no…”

Yixing silently laments.

“It’s already half past twelve, they’re probably sleeping by now.”

“It’s alright, I’ll just stay in a hotel near the university or something.”

No.

Hell no!

Hotels near your university are all Love Motels and you wouldn’t want Yixing to get scarred for life. The walls in love motels are really thin, he will hear EVERYTHING that’s happening next door. Every. Damn. Noise.

“I’m fine sleeping on the couch, really.”

“No really, I insist. You’re our guest. You should take my bed.”

“Ah, but I don’t want to take your bed away from you.”

“It’s just for one night, it’s fine.”

The exchanges between Yixing and your roommate - slash - best friend, Baekhyun, was super cute. It’s only been thirty minutes since they met, yet they interact like they’re already new friends.

“I’ll sleep beside her.”

Baekhyun shrugs and casually points at you as he answers. Yixing follows where Baekhyun pointed at with his eyes and his gaze fell on yours. His mouth drops ever slightly in shock and you press your lips together in a thin line to try and stop yourself from giggling.

“Sleeping with her?”

“It’s fine, Yixing. Baekhyun is—”

“Good thing my boyfriend isn’t staying here tonight, so you can take my bed.”

Baekhyun cuts off your sentence with another nonchalant answer. He smiles wide as he makes his way to you, ringing his limbs around your upper arm and nuzzling his face on your shoulders. You love it when your best friend gets really clingy with you. People always mistake you as a couple but they get really surprised when they find out you’re just friends and that Baekhyun already found his soulmate, Chanyeol.

“B—boyfriend?”

“Yeah, my boyfriend. His name is Chanyeol.”

Yixing was lost for words, just staring at the void between your and Baekhyun’s body. An empty space that doesn’t really exist because Baekhyun was snugly clutched to your side.

“Chanyeol and Baekhyun are soulmates.”

You placate with a smile, to soothe the many questions you know playing inside Yixing’s mind presently. Immediately, his mouth formed an O with the information you just delivered.

“Oooh, I found my soulmate too!”

Yixing excitedly said as he rolls the already slightly lifted sleeves of his dress shirt on his left arm. You try squeezing your way out of Baekhyun’s tight embrace but to no avail. He wasn’t about to let you go, he didn’t even know that you were struggling off of him, not aware that you’re trying to get off of his tight grasp. He was just too strong for you.

“Kim Sunye.”

Baekhyun reads the name tattooed on Yixing’s arm. The name keeps spinning in your mind, ringing in your ears, mocking and telling you that your (you are sure Yixing is your fated person, you know he is the one) soulmate already belongs to another. Belongs to another who dismally wasn’t you.

“She studies at our uni too, one of the reasons why I transferred here. So I can be with her.”

“Kim Sunye? Long brown hair, petite? Wears oversized rectangular specs and just a little bit shorter than Miss Sunshine right here?”

Baekhyun describes as he tightens his grip on you, shaking you slightly.

“You know my Sunye?”

Yixing beams.

“Yeah, she was in our Lit class last semester. We were somewhat friends with her, but she mostly keeps to herself.”

Of course, out of all the Kim Sunyes in this planet, it has to be her. The girl who, according to your peers, was your competition. But there is nothing to compete about with her because she’s obviously better than you at everything. Better at academics, better looking and she’s probably a much better cook than you who knows. And now you proved it more because her name is permanently marked on your soulmate’s skin.

“Hey, uhm it’s pretty late and I have an eight AM class tomorrow. I’ll go and wash up now.”

You whisper silently into Baekhyun’s ear and his eyes darted down at your level. You wanted to talk some more, get to know Yixing a bit better but their topic was not exactly to your liking and you feel like the room and the world is getting smaller and smaller by the second, suffocating you all of a sudden for no reason at all.

“Of course, sweetie. I’ll be joining you for a while after making sure Yixing Hyung here is settled.”

Baekhyun gives you a tight squeeze before letting you go once to do your business. You accidentally met eyes with Yixing and he instantly gave you a delighted grin which you cannot help but reciprocate with a much weaker smile.

“You look so tired, I hope you have a good rest.”

“Thank you, you too. Goodnight, Yixing.”

“Goodnight.”

*****

“You look out of it, are you okay?”

You look up from the stack of essay papers you need to organize to where Mr. Lee was seated.

Mr. Lee is your favorite professor in your major. Being his student for the past two semesters was one of the best and most memorable time you’ve had, that you volunteer to help him whenever he needs it even though he already has two teaching assistants and one of them is Baekhyun.

“What do you mean, Mr. Lee?”

You move your head to the side in question.

“I asked you to give me the student’s grade report from last week, but you gave me last months.”

Mr. Lee raises both of his brows as he taps on the folded report on top of his desk.

“Not only that, you’ve also been making my coffee wrong. You know I like it when my coffee is strong and sweet. But all I get is sweet for a number of days now. Are you going through anything?”

He added while standing up from his chair. He made his way to where you are and sat beside you on his office couch.

“I am so, so sorry, Mr. Lee. I’ll get last week’s grade reports immediately.”

You said standing up to run towards the filing cabinets, but Mr. Lee grabs your forearm and has you seated again on the leather seat.

“No, I feel like you have something to tell me.”

“I—”

You started but cut yourself short, thinking and forming the right words to ask your professor. Why you didn’t think of asking him about your dilemma, you don’t know. Mr. Lee definitely knows a lot about soulmates because it is part of what he teaches.

“I found my soulmate.”

You quietly said as you rub your left arm where Yixing’s name was tattooed. Mr. Lee was looking at your movement, observing you closely.

“Shouldn’t you be celebrating right now? Aren’t you happy?”

“Not really.”

“Why not?”

You silently sigh as you think about Yixing. For the past three months you’ve known him, he was nothing but awesome. He was fast friends with you and your group and became popular quickly around your department.

“Well, Mr. Lee… My soulmate has a different name on his arm.”

The once gentle and relaxed eyes of your professor became blown wide in complete surprise. Mr. Lee’s mouth opens slightly as if he wanted to say something, but he closes it back and purses his lips in a tight line. His brows furrowed, making his slightly wrinkled forehead crease some more.