"Not so dear diary, today was a crazy day (as always). The kids woke me up by jumping on my bed, Ryeokkie sneezed on me and his boogers ended in my hair. Lovely. I still don't know why I need to write this f** diary. Yes, Kangin, the F word... If you ever get to read this S* I hope you are at least 18 years old. Today, Leeteuk (my hero and the kids’ babysitter) scolded me again for the way I spoil the kids, he is still trying to potty train the triplets (not getting better, those toddlers are like little chubby monsters filled with water) and keeps nagging me about my vocabulary. It's been seven weeks since my brother died... I'm not getting used to this...
I hope the psychologist won't complain about my first writing... speaking about the devil... maybe I should write about it. Not only today but the day everything started"

[Three days before: 72 hours ago]

"HEECHUL!" Leeteuk shouted at the half sleep uncle.

"I'm awake..." Heechul yawned, noticing that he was the only one on the bed. Oh oh.

"Yes, sure you are. Your nephews got up when the alarm clock sounded... an hour ago" Leeteuk seemed to be upset about something. What was Heechul forgetting?

"Oh, crap... the school..." Heechul face palmed himself. It would be the third time that week they got late, and it was only Wednesday.

"Uncle, are you ok?" Yesung climbed the bed to sit next to his uncle with a worried face.

"Ukweeee" Ryeowook and Kyuhyun cuddled against Heechul's legs.

"Sorry, kids... I'm fine... what time is it?" Heechul felt sorry for the kids since he felt unable to overcome simple things like getting on time to appointments.

Heechul felt that the answer wasn't good when he noticed that Yesung, Kangin and Siwon exchanged looks with Leeteuk.

"9am" Leeteuk's response was everything Heechul needed to lay down again and cry, but he couldn't.

"Heechul, it won't be good if they miss a whole day instead of a few hours... I will take the kids to their schools while you get ready ok? I can take the triplets too, they will like the small trip outside" Leeteuk sighed and gestured at the kids to go with him.

"Ukwee?" Kyuhyun climbed his uncle and laid on his tummy.

"Good morning, baby" Heechul forced a smile at first but when he saw the babies smiling at him... his mood got better.

"I love you, my little angels" Heechul kissed the kids’ tummies making funny sounds

"Bagwel!" Ryeowook chirped

"Not bagel! Aaaannngeeeel" Heechul corrected the small toddler.

"Bagwel~" Ryeowook repeated confident of the new word he learned.

"Do you love me? " Heechul asked the twins while pinching their cheeks

"Nuh uh" Kyuhyun giggled rolling on the bed. Ryeowook only laughed hysterically like if Heechul just told him a very good joke.

Heechul got ready to start his day while his youngest nephew played with a little box his uncle gave him. Heechul felt bad for having to lock both twins inside their new play area that he just set the night before. Kangin had a good time listening to all the bad words he said when trying to build the fences.

Heechul knew that it was the best he could do since he couldn't (not even Leeteuk could) look after all the children running around without control. He decided to turn half of his big precious living room in a safe space for the toddlers, he made sure of decorating it so the children would like it but he must have missed something.

"UKWEEE!!" Ryeowook cried terrified. He was afraid of the new place where Heechul had left him with his twin brother.

"Look how cute! See?" Heechul tried to distract the baby using several toys that were inside the area. No luck.

"KWEEEEE KWEEEEEKWEEEE !" Ryeowook was going crazy. The baby wailed on the padded floor with the alphabet colorful tiles that Heechul chose after two intense minutes on the net. Yes, minutes.

"This won't do" Heechul sighed defeated looking at the crying toddler. He searched for the baby carrier accepting his fate; he wouldn't be able to have a single minute alone for the rest of his life.

"Come here, don't cry, it's ok... uncle will carry you and everything will be ok" Heechul coaxed the sobbing boy while helping to get inside the carrier.

Heechul cursed out loud when Kyuhyun ran to the fence and asked to be carried too.

"Unkweeee!" Kyuhyun demanded attention from his beloved uncle that was secretly praying for the boys to never learn the words he just said.

By the time Leeteuk returned with the triplets, Heechul had already read the same story book three times and was lying on the couch with the twins on him with a defeated face.

"Park!" Eunhyuk ran to the play area that Heechul supposedly made for the twins

"At least someone likes it" Heechul looked at Leeteuk with sad eyes

"Something wrong? " the babysitter helped Sungmin and Donghae to get inside the new area and then tried to help the tired uncle with the twins who refused to get carried away from his favorite person in the world.

"They won't go inside... all Ryeowook did was screaming like if I was trying to kill him" Heechul frowned with disappointment.

"Ok... but that doesn't explain why is he your clothes" Leeteuk pointed at the baby with his mouth full of Heechul's hoodie strings

"Maybe he is hungry"

"I fed him before you woke up" Leeteuk frowned at Heechul's lame reply

"Maybe he is sleepy" Heechul did it again wondering how long would it take Leeteuk to notice he didn't care about why was Ryeowook his clothes.

"Heechul" Leeteuk's voice turned sterner

"I don't know, he likes to do it... just let him be happy... " Heechul stretched having a look at the boy responsible of his dark wet spots on his clothes.

"You are full of his saliva" Leeteuk sighed loudly trying to hold the other twin that refused to leave Heechul's socks in place.

"He seems like if he was trying to eat me" Heechul chuckled

"Ung! " Ryeowook cheerfully agreed

"Are you eating me? Are you trying to eat uncle?" Heechul's bad mood drifted away when Ryeowook replied to him

"Ung! " Ryeowook nodded a bit

"Why are you eating uncle? " Heechul sat with the baby on his lap

"Bwagel!" Ryeowook kicked his uncle with his tiny feet in a playful way

"Bagel?" Leeteuk repeated as he rocked Kyuhyun who still had one of Heechul's socks with him

Ryeowook blabbered something that Leeteuk couldn't understand except for the word "bagel". However, Heechul laughed loudly.

"It's my fault! I always tell them they are so cute that I want to eat them!" Heechul couldn't stop laughing

"Oh, and you call them 'bagels' " Leeteuk tried

"Not really... I call them my angels but they learned to say 'bagel' instead" Heechul played with all the toddlers in a good mood until the phone rang.

"Oh, you got a call" Leeteuk said while trying to convince Donghae to stay sitting on the potty.

"Nothing good... Kangin got in troubles again and..." Heechul couldn't say the last part since he found if even more hurtful than the first

"Is something wrong?" Leeteuk worried

"Yeah... could you look after all of them for a while? I need to go and take care of some things at the school. I will try to come back as soon as I can but--"

"Go, its ok. We are going to have fun together right?" Leeteuk turned to the kids. Donghae managed to get free and was now running around the house.

"Are you sure?" Heechul doubted

"Sure. If they get too naughty for me to handle, then I will trap them inside your designed prison" Leeteuk smiled naughtily

" you! I really tried hard!" Heechul was hurt since his play area design got insulted. The uncle didn't have time to lose, he had a big issue to take care of and nothing would stop him.

Heechul entered the elementary school in a rush, he ran around the halls until he found the principal's office and two crying boys sitting outside.

"Hey, buddies... uncle came to help you~ I'm not mad~ I promise I won't--" Heechul's blood boiled when Yesung lifted his face and he got a perfect view of the new purple spot decorating his nephew's face

"Who did that to you?" Heechul tried to keep himself calm but he just wanted to kill the person responsible for his nephew's bruise.

"Un-cle... I wanna go home." Yesung sobbed desperately

Kangin was crying too, but Yesung was a whole different level. Heechul could feel the fear of the boy and how upset he was.

"Wait here ok? Uncle will have a talk with the principal and then comeback..." more than ever, Heechul found hard to leave the boys.

"Mr. Kim, as you had been notified your kids got into a fight with some classmates during the free period. Apparently some of the kids in Yesung's class were making fun of him and Kangin didn't take it well... then, Yesung tried to stop the fight but as you may have noticed, he got hurt in it" the principal stared at Heechul with judging eyes

"So? It wasn't their fault! Why were the kids messing around with my nephew to start with?" Heechul crossed his arms and glared at the principal

"Your nephew" the principal said bitterly

Heechul gulped. Somehow he could feel it now.

"Mr. Kim, kids are kids. We can't just stop and think about any kid that says something 'mean' to other kid. The problem here is because your nephew chose the violence and started a fight with other kids"

"What was the correct response? He saw they were bullying his brother and he decided to help him... I don't really think is that bad. I will talk with him and--"

"No more talking. This is not the first time you get called here because of Kangin. You have demonstrated to be unable to teach the kids proper manners or to understand their needs so, in order to help you out the school made an appointment for you and the boys to a counseling session" the principal seemed to be enjoying Heechul's disgrace

"Ok, look. I will go to the counseling session, the psychologist and whatever you want but please... don't do this to the kids... they are having a hard time adapting the new life and their parents’ death. I promise---"

"Mr. Kim, if the kids don’t go to the counseling session then, they will get expelled. Do you understand?" The principal asked the mad uncle with irony

"Sure" Heechul faked a smile and went outside with the small paper about the counselor.

"Uncle? Are we going to get expelled?" Kangin asked sadly

"Not today, sweetie" Heechul ruffled the boy's hair and held hands with both of them

Heechul drove in silence until they reached home. He went to help the boys to get out of the car when he noticed Yesung was crying again.

"Are you ok? Does it hurt?" Heechul approached the boy and sighed softly when he understood why was he crying again.

"It's ok, boy! It was just a little accident! I used to wet my pants too" Heechul felt sorry for the boy. Yesung's life was so hard at such a young age.

"I--- I--" Yesung couldn't speak properly since the sobbing interrupted him

"No problem. I guess urine may be easier to clean than vomit right? Remember when Eunhyuk was sick and I had to clean after him? I cried the whole time remember?" Heechul teased in a try to make the boy feel better

"Uhm... I think it may be easier" Yesung calmed and looked at Heechul with his purple eye.

"I have a great idea! Why don't you help me to clean the seat and we have a small talk during the cleaning uhm? You know, spare time for us~ " Heechul winked at the interested boy

"Don't you have to look after the others?" Yesung worried

"So cute! Nah, Leeteuk will take care of them for as long as they find out how to open the gates of the playing area"

"We are going to get wet right?" Yesung observed carefully when Heechul started grabbing cleaning supplies

"You are already wet, so" Heechul joked. Yesung laughed and Heechul felt better seeing his boy's smile.

The next day, after explaining several times to Eunhyuk why Heechul needed to go to the school too, the uncle went to the counseling session with the two young boys involved in the conflict.

"... and you started taking care of them" the old counselor woman stared at Heechul in a pitiful way, much to the uncle's disgust.

"Yes, I would have really liked it if you had skipped that part. I don't think it is good to mention it when the children are around" Heechul complaining while the two sad kids hugged Heechul with teary eyes

"Do you think you are capable of taking care of eight young kids by yourself?" The old woman stared at him with a serious face

"Sure" Heechul wasn't really that confident but he tried his best to convince the old counselor

"Do you realize the kids may copy your wrong behaviors?"

"Do you realize I'm trying hard to be a good role model? It's been years since I did something to be ashamed of" Heechul replied proud of himself

"Mr. Kim, raising children goes beyond feeding and making sure they take baths" The counselor stared at the frightened kids that hid behind Heechul

"They are fine" Heechul replied with confidence

"According to the last reports their teachers wrote about them, that's not true. Yesung exhibits an overly shy personality, insecurities, low self-esteem while Kangin shows lack of concentration, problems socializing and a reckless behavior" The woman read using her fat glasses that Heechul found amusing

"Well, nobody is perfect! Every child is different right?" Heechul hugged both boys that seemed a bit embarrassed

"May I speak to you in private?" The woman's voice was scary for the boys

"Go back to your classes" Heechul rushed the kids to get out. The morning had been hell to them.

"Mr. Kim, you ignored the teacher's request about coming to counseling at least four time-"

"Liar! I only did once!" Heechul protested while standing up ready to fight. He wasn’t going to allow this.

"It's all written here" the woman frowned before giving Heechul a big file with the several notifications

"This is not... there must be a mistake... here" Heechul pointed at the date of the first three notifications.

"There is no possible mistake"

"There is! I wasn't taking care of them at that time! I-- my brother died six weeks ago! " Heechul felt his head burnt. He tried to calm down fearing he could get a heart attack or something.

"Mr. Kim, I don't know who was taking care of the kids at that time but the notifications were sent at that time. The kids’ troubles didn't start when you started taking care of them... they just 'exploded' but the issues were already there before" the woman looked at Heechul like if he was a poor man that people needed to feel sorry for

"Don't pity me. Stop. I'm not miserable! They are MY family and will endure everything in order to make them happy! I don't care if the problems started before, during or after but I promise that I will take care of them! I love them! I really do!" Heechul was being honest.

"I know you do. That's why I won't send any bad reports about you. I think that the children need you more than you can imagine and I think that even if you are still unaware of it... you are suited for the job" the woman finally smiled

"Uhm? Then... you think...I..." Heechul was doubtful

"You will be a great uncle and a great dad... maybe a great mom too. Right now, you are the only hope for those children and I am sure you will make them happy, but you know, it's not only about the kids... you also need to be happy" the counselor was writing something on a paper that she passed to Heechul

"Be... happy?" Heechul read it

"That's all you need" the counselor nodded

"Really? Then the appointment with the psychologist--"

"You can't skip that. The children will love the therapy, and by the way, you should take all of them"

"That's going to be--" Heechul sighed before ending the sentence

"Good luck, Mr. Kim" the counselor cheered

Just as Heechul predicted, the appointment with the psychologist went from bad to worse... she ended calling a psychiatrist to evaluate if Heechul was normal enough to take care of kids.

"I can't believe she called the doctor" Heechul was in a bad mood

"You earned it when you agreed that sometimes using force was better than just using words. I still can't believe you hit the desk" Leeteuk frowned

"I still can't believe you sided with her" Heechul pulled his hair

"Aya ayayaya!!" Kyuhyun hit Heechul's hand to make him stop

"He doesn't want you to get hurt" Leeteuk smiled sweetly

"At least someone cares about me! My little bagels!" Heechul kissed both twins playfully

"How many times will I tell you that it is not right to stick with their 'baby words'... you are supposed to correct them..." Leeteuk twisted his lips just a bit since the scene was cute

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

"... and the day ended as usual; Leeteuk went back to his house and I stayed playing with the kids. My sweet and dear children... if you ever get to read this... I hope you know that I love you more than anything else on this universe (the world is not enough!!). Yes, present time! Because it doesn't matter when you read this, you guys are still the light of my life. Let's grow together ok? "

Heechul closed the big diary with the satisfaction of writing his first entry. After stretching a bit, he went to check on the sleeping children, kissing each one of them.

"I love you, my bagels" Heechul smiled sweetly.