Seungri regrets that he refuses to follow his parents to the wedding. They attend their friends’s daughter wedding.

Wedding. A very simple word that unites two persons. Just like what he and Jiyong will do.

Married and to be tied forever with Jiyong is his goal. He is willing to just stay home and not working. Waiting for Jiyong at home, and follow him when he has business trips. Isn’t it sounds nice? Jiyong told him to finish up his money, right? So, he is a good boy, listen to his future husband.

He knows how possessive Jiyong is to him. To hurt Jiyong is the last thing he’ll do. He knows why Jiyong be that possessive on him, he grew alone. It’s true that Youngbae is there the whole time, but his stupid future husband is an egoistic person, so to have deep talk with Youngbae, is a BIG no.

So, when he has Seungri with him, he is willing to do anything just to keep him close. That is also the reason why he becomes so spoil when he’s with Jiyong. It is Jiyong’s fault too, for pampering him with whatever he wants.

He knows, people might say he wasted his knowledge and skills when he can work. But, knowing how much Jiyong sacrifice for him, and how much Jiyong can be so negative about himself when he fails, he knows he needs to be with Jiyong.

Besides, people don’t know that he always gives opinions for Jiyong project. The difference is he’s not working directly. But, to have the opportunities to give opinions to Jiyong really make him good, Jiyong appreciates him and that is enough to make him feels special.

It as if he has an important role in Jiyong life.

But, Jiyong hasn’t asks for married yet. Aish! That stupid so called future husband . Clueless!

Arghh! Thinking about Jiyong makes he feels hungry. He’s so lazy to cook. Jiyong always cook for him. See? How much Jiyong pampers him and what the effects on him? He has nothing to do, except thinking about Jiyong, dreaming about Jiyong and all about Jiyong.

His parents must have bored to listen to him talking about Jiyong. After all, they only need to bear with it few more weeks before Seungri moves in with Jiyong. Jiyong is so considered with his situation, he knows that Seungri is his parents only son, he moves to an apartment near to his house.

Jiyong stay at the mansion before and moves to the apartment when they start their relationship. It’s been almost one year that they know each other, 3 months knowing each other before Jiyong asks him to be more than just friends. Next month, it is their sixth months as a couple.

Time flies fast.

Seungri reaches for his phone, checking whether there is message from Jiyong or not. He told him he’s busy this week. He even postpones to meet Seungri’s parents. But that is fine, Seungri understand his work.

Seungri misses him, it’s almost 2 weeks since they last meet. “It’s ok, Seungri-ah. Cheer up. After he meets your parents, then, you will move in with him. Few more weeks. Few more weeks.” Seungri talks to himself.

Isn’t he is a positive person? “I MISS JIYONG!” Seungri screams suddenly.

His stomach growls that makes he sighs heavily. He reaches for the keys, his wallet and phone before heads to the convenient store. But not before informs his future husband.

What a good husband he is to Jiyong, isn’t he? He changes Jiyong name in his phone from Jiyongie x to Future Husband<3.

Jiyong reply to him, saying no ramen to him which Seungri replies his selfies with ramen saying no one cook for him.

Jiyong calls him, to annoy him with ‘Junk Food is Bad for Health’ speech. But, that speech is long gone when Seungri whines how much he misses Jiyong. Jiyong then explains him that he has few more works to do, and after he finishes them, he’s all Seungri’s.

They hang up after few minutes.

*

Seungri journey to home feels so strange that night. He feels like he has been followed. He fastens his walks. He can feels he’s sweating as he’s getting nervous. He hopes that his parents have reaches home.

His hope scatters when his parents’ car still not at the lawn. He runs to the door. His hands are shaking to open the door. The keys drop from his hands because he’s shaking too much. He keeps turn around to see the black shadow that follows him just now.

Before he manages to lock the door,  the door been pushes harshly from the outside.

“Hello cutie.” The stranger says.

“Who’re you?! Get out from my house!” Seungri shouts at the stranger. He walks backward till he bumps to the couch in the living room.

“Where’re you going, cutie? Come here, let’s play with me. I’m so lonely.” The stranger says.

Isn’t he’s a psycho?

Seungri tries to push the stranger when he grips on Seungri arms. It hurts Seungri.

“I watch you from the store just now, I know you’re lonely as much I am. So, let’s play.”

Seungri steps on the stranger feet that make him groans in pain, he pushes him harder before runs away. He stumbles when the stranger holds on his leg. He tries to free himself by kick the stranger on face.

“So, we’re playing rough, cutie? Where do you think you’re going?” The stranger groans and laughs evilly when he can see Seungri fear in his eyes. Seungri is shivering, he reaches for a knife near the stove.

“Go away!”

“Go on, try me, I want to see how brave you’re, cutie. You really !” the stranger ruffles his hair.

“Go away! leave! Go!” Seungri screams, in his heart he prays for his parents to come home faster. Or Jiyong to come and save him. but, Jiyong doesn’t has his address.

“Now, I get you.” Seungri being pull roughly into the stranger embrace when he is in his own thought. The knife falls to the ground.

The stranger starts to kiss him which Seungri pushes his away. he nudges from the kiss and make the kisses land on other but not his lips. He groans painfully when the stranger pulls his hair to make him looks at him.

“You’re making it hard, cutie.” He says sarcastically before he forces his tongue into Seungri mouth. Seungri pushes it harder.

All the time, he’s thinking about Jiyong.

The stranger touches his crotch, rubs on it, maybe to make him hard. But, NO! Seungri body won’t responds.

“Can’t you get hard faster cutie? Be a good boy for me, cutie. Come on..” The stranger slips his hand into Seungri pants which Seungri tries to slap away. His eyes getting blurry with tear. His mind is occupied with Jiyong. He doesn’t want Jiyong to be disappointed.

Seungri spits on the stranger face when he keeps on tries to make Seungri hard. He runs his hand on Seungri shaft, trying to make him hard.

“This er!” the stranger almost slap Seungri when they hear a car enter the lawn. The stranger quickly leaves Seungri lays on the floor. He runs through the backdoor.

Seungri cries, he forces himself to stand. He can’t make his parents see him in this state. He picks up the knife and put it back to its place. He can hear his parents’ voice, talking and laughing to one another.

He walks to the bathroom, turn on the shower.

The way the stranger touches and kisses him play repeatedly in his mind. He rubs his body hardly, trying to get rid the feeling of the ert touches. He scrubs his skin, muffles his voice from crying too loud. He wipes his lips hard that he feels like it is bleeding.

But, why he still can feel that ert hands on him?! He feels so dirty, he’s not good for Jiyong.

Jiyong?

How hurt Jiyong will be when he knows this? How disappointed him? He’s a fool for not able to even protect himself. He wants to blame his parents for returning home late.

But it is his fault not to go with them. It is his fault for not just stay home. It is his fault for not cook by himself. It is his fault for not learn martial arts. It is his fault for not just stay at the convenience store when he feels someone is following him. it is his fault for not close the door properly. Why can’t he just have the ramen at home?!

It is his fault.

He doesn’t want Jiyong see him like this. He is a disappointment. He is a failure. He fails to protect himself for Jiyong when Jiyong always be the best for him . He’s an idiot. He’s cheating on Jiyong.

He cheats which makes he is not good enough for Jiyong. He’s too dirty for person as perfect Jiyong. He wants to leave the world, he can’t continue his life when he cheat on the person that loves him more than he loves himself.

He cheats on the person that promises to gives him the world and happiness with his overflowing love. He cheats when he lets the person touch him. He disgusted on himself, what Jiyong will feels knowing this?

Now, nothing will stay the same, he’s only dirt. Dirt should be sweep away.

*

“Baby? Are you no… Seungri-ah! What’s going on? Get a grip.” Jiyong runs to hold Seungri. he kneels on the floor, clutches on his sweatshirts.

He’s having panic attack, his breath shorten. Jiyong calls for Seungri and makes him looks at him. but, Seungri can’t moves, he cries harder, he chokes up in his cries. He sobs harder when Jiyong comes hug him.

“Seungri! Look at me.Breath. Come one, baby, breath. What happened?! Seungri!” Jiyong pats lightly Seungri’s cheek.

Seungri parents run to the upstairs because of Jiyong shouts. Jiyong pulls Seungri into his embrace harder, rocking their body back and forth, trying to call Seungri name, but no responds.

*

“Something that makes Seungri-ssi to be under shock, it is too much for him to handle. Do you know any trigger to his big shock?” The doctor that treated Seungri looks at Jiyong and Seungri’s parents. Seungri parents shake their head as no, but Jiyong, his eyes only on Seungri.

“He should be alright once he wakes up. But, please don’t stress him.” the doctor says before leave.

Mrs. Lee cries in Mr. Lee arms. Looking at Seungri condition, it hurts them. He looks so peaceful, sleeping like that. But, Seungri state when they founded him, it feels like a dejavu. The feeling, it just like when they found him unconscious in the shower.

Just what is it again, that test their son. It just too much, when Seungri just about to feel the happiness being with Jiyong, his life. They can’t afford to see Seungri becomes himself as he was 4 years ago.

“You two should go eat, I’ll stay with him.” Jiyong says, squeezes Mrs. Lee hands as if want to give her strength when he doesn’t even have energy to smile.

The Lee’s couples nod at Jiyong. They know, Jiyong needs time alone with Seungri.

Jiyong tears up when he’s leave alone in the room with Seungri. his brain tries to figure what is happening and why is he at the hospital.

He looks at Seungri. he looks so calm, but so pale that Jiyong hates it. Doesn’t he need blood? The doctor must diagnose Seungri wrongly.

“Baby, what happen? Talk to me, I’ve said that we’re together in this, in pain and in happiness. Share the pain with me.” Jiyong kisses Seungri hand. They’re so cold. Seungri really need blood, he needs to call the doctor to diagnose him again.

*

Seungri opens his eyes, he tries to recall what happen and where he is. He was having flashback before he become unconscious.

His hand feel heavy and when he looks at them, Jiyong is sleeping by his bed, holding his hand. The flashback hit him that he tries to pull from Jiyong hold. His eyes meet his mom that she smiles to him before calls the doctor. Maybe she caught his struggle to free himself.

“He just sleep, he stay up the whole night.” His mother says and pat their intertwine hands. NO! Jiyong shouldn’t hold his hand. His’s dirty. He deserves better than Seungri. He will hate Seungri if he knows Seungri history. He will be disgust.

“Baby, you’ve woken up.” Jiyong says. There is happiness in his voice from the way he says that. He caresses Seungri face softly but Seungri suddenly nudges and he notices Jiyong frowns at his action.

Wasn’t hurting Jiyong is the last thing he wants to do? Tears strolling down, “Are you that happy to see me, baby?” Jiyong says and peck on Seungri both eyes. Jiyong shouldn’t love him. he should leave him, Seungri is not the best for him. Seungri cheated on him.

Doctor then diagnoses him, checking his vital and body condition. He needs to do few more checkups before the hospital can let him home.

*

“He doesn’t want to meet you.”

“What?” Jiyong says, is he hearing the right thing? He looks at Seunghyun face, searching if there is any joke hidden in his talk.

“Seungri, he told us not to let you in.” Daesung says, looking down at his hand. it must be hard for him to say that.

“Don’t joke with me. Let me meet him.” Jiyong says and tries to get in to the room, but Daesung and Seunghyun hold him, make it impossible for him to get through.

“Let me go! Youngbae not you too!” Jiyong screams when Youngbae comes and pulls him.

Mr. Lee walks out of the room, he has that sad look in his eyes. “Jiyong, I’m sorry but I guess it is better if you can distance yourself from Seungri from the time being. He needs some space to recover. I’m sorry, son.”

“What are you guys talking about? To recover from what? Doctor clearly says that he’s more than good. Why he won’t see me? Why…”

! This is getting out of hands. What is his fault this time? He just went home for a while. Seungri can’t be mad at him for leaving him. He didn’t mean that.

“Let me…” Jiyong struggles to get to the door but Daesung and Seunghyun don’t give him any space to do so.

“Please Jiyong-ah.. don’t make it hard on Seungri. please.”

*

Seungri’s tears scrolling as he flops down to the floor when he gets into the house. Jiyong went home to prepare the house for get well soon party. There is cake, drinks on the table. Balloons hang around the living room.

Daesung pulls him up and leads him to his room. Loud slam on the door make he looks Daesung. He’s angry and Seungri never see him in such anger.

There’s silent in the room.

“At the end you choose to be a selfish! I told you not to give Jiyong hope if you gonna break him! stop crying, cousin.” Daesung says with mock in his tone.

Seunghyun comes to the room. Maybe shock at Daesung suddenly shouts at him.

“You’re doing great job. I’m proud of you. It must be your ability to hurt and leave people after gives them hope to be loved. You don’t even love him.”

“No! I do love him. I don’t want to hurt him.”

“Then prove it to me. Go and meet him! don’t looks pathetic and act as if you’re the victim! Can’t you see how much he sacrifices for you Seungri!

He loves you so much but you can’t see it. You don’t even appreciate his love for you. Do you think by hiding whatever secret you have will make good for you?”

No answer from Seungri, he’s too shock at Daesung words. Only tears keep flowing down, aren’t his eyes tired?

“I know it is not my place to say this but, don’t make something that you’ll regret, Ri.” Seunghyun says, pats on his shoulder before walk out from the room.

Daesung suddenly claps his hands, “Good work Seungri. Well done! Running away and act as if you’re the victim is really your speciality. Just like what you did 4 years ago. Well done! I’m proud of you.”

Daesung slams on the door, leaving Seungri alone in daze. He clutches on his clothes and lay down on his bed. He curls up that make he looks so small. He fists turn white to strong grips on his clothes, as if he wants to let the pain away.

*

Jiyong screams as he pushes whatever on the dining table. He kicks the chairs make them broke. The sounds of glasses break into pieces seems can’t measure how broken his heart is. His hand reaches the pot near the dining room before slam it to the wall.

“Let me go Youngbae-ah. Let me go! Seungri asks for space from me! Doesn’t that sound that he leaves me? He leaves me! He wants to break up with me! He refused to talk to me when he woke up. Now, he wants avoid me, he's asking for space! Doesn't that sound like bre...”

Jiyong breakdowns. Tears replace all his words. The most things that he fears to happen have come. Seungri is leaving him.

“He just wants some space and you need to give it to him. He’s not leaving you, cousin. He needs time to recover.” Youngbae says calmly. Youngbae brings Jiyong to his room and make he lays on the bed.

“Get some rest, Jiyong. I’ll be in the guestroom.”

Youngbae calls Hyorin, telling her that he’s not coming home. Jiyong called him to help prepare the get well soon party at Lee’s residence. Jiyong has happy smiles on his face when they make the preparations.

It feels so good to see him happy and outgoing like that. As expected, Seungri has big role in Jiyong’s life. Youngbae knows the feeling as that is what Hyorin can do to him. Hyorin has the remote to control his mood for the days.

What’s wrong with that guy! Is he taking Jiyong lightly? But, they’re doing good in Jeju. Was it just to play with Jiyong heart? But, he can’t decide just hearing from one side only. He must be neutral.

How lonely must Jiyong feels last 4 years to be leave by Seungri? Hyorin once asks for space and Youngbae still can feel the pain just to recall it.

It must be worse for Jiyong. To feel the pain for the second time.

Here is the update. Sorry for late update, but thank you for the support..:)