It’s been two weeks since their collaboration officially ended. Yoongi had finally completed the song, much to the satisfaction(and reluctance) of them both. The end product was simply amazing. Jimin couldn’t help but feel proud and Yoongi shared that sentiment, even going as far as to joke that the song was like their baby, making Jimin blush profusely.

As much as Jimin wanted to give up his pining, he wanted to stay close to Yoongi. It felt nice and just so right. He couldn’t bring himself to end the little dynamic they’ve grown into. Despite the collaboration being done, his weekly hangouts at Yoongi’s room turned into an almost daily affair.

At first he thought they’d drift apart after the song was completed but Yoongi had asked the younger over to hang out the next day, and Jimin was quick to agree. Thus, the routine continued.

Sometimes Yoongi would find Jimin asleep on his bed; he’d lie down and watch the elder work on more tracks for his upcoming mixtape until he dozes off, compelling Yoongi to climb into bed beside the younger and join him in his nap, cuddling him like a pillow. Other times Jimin would sit on the floor beside Yoongi, leisurely revising his textbook and class notes. Yoongi would bounce lyric ideas off him and Jimin would show Yoongi the new track remixes Big Kidz would be performing next.

Yoongi invited Jimin and his friends to some of their gigs and even went to Big Kidz performances to show his support. They’d go for dinner after and Yoongi would walk Jimin home, promising to see each other the next day.

They’d cook a simple meal(Yoongi’s parents were rarely home) and eat together while exchanging slight banter. Sometimes with the company of Hoseok and Namjoon but mostly without. It was almost domestic, leaving Jimin delirious as much as he was afraid. 
 

They’d talk about music, life, their families and themselves(though for Jimin his identity was still under wraps). Throw in a few teasing words about hooking up with fans and sometimes with a bit of sass added in the mix. The conversations flowed easily and even the silences were comfortable.

Jimin was the happiest spending time just lazing in Yoongi’s room and he wasn’t prepared to give it up just yet, so he forced down the butterflies in his stomach and the fluttering of his heart every time Yoongi either gave him one of his prized gummy smiles or when he wakes up in Yoongi’s arms after a nap.

As long as he could stay beside his hyung, the unrequited feelings he had didn’t matter. He was content just being like this. 
 

They were lying on Yoongi’s bed, Jimin’s head on Yoongi’s chest, both too lazy to get anything done and too awake to nap as they simply basked in each other’s presence.

“So… What made you start performing?” Yoongi asked, curious.

Jimin was silent for a while in contemplation before he opened his mouth to answer in a small voice.

“I used to learn the piano when I was young and I loved singing too... had to stop in favour of my grades after entering middle school. My parents are teachers. They’re strict with me. They had this notion of what the perfect son should be like and I was pressured to fit the bill. To them, music was never a career choice, simply a hobby, so they stopped my lessons and sent me to cram school instead once I got older. I was stressed out having to keep my grades and I got jealous when I saw my classmates hanging out. Every day was a mundane cycle of waking up, going to school, doing my homework and revision before sleeping. Rinse and repeat…” Jimin lamented while waving his hands in a circular gesture.

“Things changed when I met Taehyung. He transferred in from Daegu at that time and we became fast friends. He happened to hear me sing one day and asked me to join him in making covers of songs. It became an outlet for me to just let myself live and forget the pressure, the bad things, all of that,” Jimin sighs, hands falling back onto Yoongi’s chest, “My parents don’t know I’ve been performing actually… I don’t know what they’ll do if they find out. ”

Yoongi hums to show that he understood and pulls Jimin in tighter for reassurance. Jimin lets out a breath and snuggles a little closer, his face in resting against the crook of Yoongi’s neck. 
 

“You’ve got a gift too beautiful to waste, Jiminie. Hyung might not be an expert but I’ve always felt you should do what makes you happy because at the end of the day, it’s your life to live,” Yoongi says softly while carding his fingers through Jimin’s hair, feeling the soft strands brush against his fingers as he massages the younger’s scalp, earning a purr of contentment from Jimin.

Being with Yoongi was relaxing. He felt safe, he felt like he didn’t need to act or put up a facade. He didn’t have to be the model student and perfect son. He was just himself.

Nonetheless, would it be the same if Yoongi found out the part of him he tried so desperately to hide?

Jimin wouldn’t risk it. He knew Yoongi wouldn’t judge him for his appearance, it was something he changed constantly after all. But he couldn’t help but feel that something might change between them; that they might change; that Yoongi would realise the kind of dull person he was and they’ll probably stay friends behind closed doors but any hope of being more, any hope of growing closer, would simply crumble. Maybe Yoongi will even grow to hate him like majority of the school does. Jimin was not ready for that, and thinks he never will be. He was the school nerd that even nerdsbully, nothing good could come out of hanging with him.

Yoongi’s deep rasp broke Jimin out of his negative spiral. 
 

“Penny for your thoughts?”

“It’s nothing, hyung. My mind just drifted off.”

“My room is always open for you, you know that right? I give you permission to touch my precious Suga.”

Jimin giggled heartily at the nickname. 
 

Yes, Yoongi named his piano Suga.

And if that isn’t the cutest thing ever, Jimin doesn’t know what is. 

 

Yoongi was speeding through the hallways to get to the cafeteria to meet Namjoon on a new song that he thought up in the middle of class, not wanting to lose the string of inspiration, it was in a ball of jumbled thoughts in his head and he really needed Namjoon’s help to untangle the thread of ideas. Deciding impromptu on taking the shortcut via the back building, he collides right into someone while rounding the corner.

“Urg… .”

Annoyed, Yoongi opens his eyes, about to let out a string of curses when his gaze changes from annoyed to menacing.

There surrounded by three boys was the little nerd he had collided into a few weeks back. He still didn’t know his name and they only exchanged a few words but he’s not about to walk away when the kid is so obviously cornered.

“What do you think you ers are doing?” He all but growls.

The tone startles the three before one of them decides to be brave and bark back.

“None of your business, Min. We’re just having a little talk, is all…”

Yoongi rolls his eyes because how clichéd can it get, right?

“Just scram before I tell the teachers. Don’t think I won’t.”

“Tsk. If the girls weren’t so smitten by your pretty , you won’t be worth , Min. Let’s go guys.”

“ing s,” Yoongi mutters as they stalk away, his gaze turning to the cowering boy. “Hey kid, you ok there?”

Said kid started at his words and mumbled a quiet ‘yeah, thanks.’ before picking up his things and running off.

Weird dude.

He couldn’t shake off the familiar feeling though… Maybe it’s just because they bumped into each other before.

Jimin locked himself in the cubicle before plopping onto the seat.

Oh God.

Yoongi saw him get bullied.

Yoongi saw him being a loser and had to help him.

How embarrassing… Why is he such a loser? Oh God.

He couldn’t even stand up for himself… and it had to be in front of the boy he was in love with...

Jimin hated himself so much.

He wished he could just disappear.

Jimin had been avoiding Yoongi for a week now.

At first he wasn’t sure of it, the younger reassuring him that he was busy and his parents had grounded him, much to Yoongi’s dismay. He missed Jimin.

The number of texts began to dwindle after that, and at first, Yoongi thought that he had limited access to his phone and decided not to be a bother. Jimin must’ve been sulking and stressed out as it is. He didn’t need a grumpy Yoongi added to the pile.

That is, until he heard from Namjoon about them hanging out at Jin’s place after school.

He didn’t want to think Jimin was lying to him. Nonetheless, he couldn’t shake the feeling and it hurt. Unknowingly he had fallen in too deep with the cheery junior. Jimin wasn’t obliged to be with him of course, but he thought they had a good thing going. Had he read things wrong?

Had Jimin found him and his company a bother?

Yoongi set at his piano, a steady melody flowing through his head, making Yoongi scoff. Even in his absence, Jimin was still his muse.

He recalls all the times Jimin laughs, his reaction so big that he falls over, trips and just slumps on the floor. He thinks back to the warmth radiating from Jimin as they napped, the younger cuddled into his side. He didn’t think he’d be so far gone. It had been a week since he’d seen Jimin and he’s already missing the personification of sunshine like crazy.

He lets his hands move naturally over the keys, melody flowing into him naturally as does the words to the song -

mamuridoen i seonyul wieseo

Na hollo beotigo isseo

Ijen naege malhaejwo

Kkeutnassdan geol let me know

( On top of this ending tune

I am standing here alone

Now tell me

That it’s over, let me know)

He finishes the song in an hour - his first sad love song.

The words he had scribbled down on his notepad glaring at him, the emotion behind every line obvious.

He’ll make a note to run it through Namjoon tomorrow and he already knows who he wants to sing this song.

Well despite the melodramatics, Yoongi isn’t someone to beat around the bush. He needs to have a proper talk with Jimin no matter the outcome. He genuinely wants to know what Jimin thought about him and if there is any way to fix whatever was wrong. He wants to know why Jimin had been keeping away from him. He wants his (cute) pillow back.

Unfortunately, he can’t do that without any way to contact Jimin other than via text, so, of course, he invites himself to Jin’s.

Nobody avoids Yoongi unless Yoongi avoids them first.

Saying Jimin was appalled was an understatement.

He had been actively trying to steer clear of Yoongi the past week, much to Taehyung’s displeasure(You need to stop running from your problems, Chim). After Yoongi had caught him being bullied, despite the elder not recognising him, he felt utterly embarrassed. He couldn’t face Yoongi. Hence, the game of cat and mouse.

Yoongi had tried to contact him several times but he always answered back with an apology and a ready excuse. He felt guilty for the blatant lie yet he couldn’t bring himself to confront his issues.

Anyway, there’s no dodging it now.

“Jimin. You’re here,” Yoongi’s dark eyes fell on him as soon as the door swung open, revealing Namjoon, who Jin had invited over, and a very unamused Yoongi behind him.

“H-hyung…” Jimin dropped his head as he tried his best to blink back his tears. How much more shamefaced could he get?

He was pathetic.

The atmosphere was tense as soon as Yoongi stepped through the doorway to stand in front of Jimin, the latter still staring at his feet. Yoongi heaves a sigh and brings his hand up to hook his finger under Jimin’s chin, lifting his head to face Yoongi properly.

He sees the glistening tears in Jimin’s eyes and instantly, his gaze softens.

“You can tell me anything, you know that, right?”

Jimin drew in a shaky breath, forcing a smile on his face.

“I know, hyung.”

“Do you really?”

Jimin doesn't reply, resigning himself to staring at Yoongi’s nose awkwardly.

“Jimin, I know you’re keeping something from me and I respect that you have your secrets but at least let me know why you’re avoiding me so that I can fix things. I miss hanging out with my Jiminie.”

The endearment slipped out easily and Yoongi didn’t even realise it before he said it, nonetheless, he didn’t take it back. He liked Jimin and was prepared to make the younger fall for him too.

It seemed effective because Jimin’s cheeks gradually reddened, blown eyes snapping up to meet his.

The obvious reaction gave Yoongi some hope that maybe Jimin thought of him and liked him the same way. Jimin always reacted cutely but this felt slightly different.

Uncaring for the dramatic show they had put on for their friends, Yoongi mustered his courage. There’s no better time than the present, after all(curse Namjoon and his random quotes of the day).

Of all the things Min Yoongi could have said, Jimin was not expecting this particular line at all.

“Let me make you happy, Jiminie. Will you go out with me?”

Jimin’s eyes grew wide in shock, refusing to believe what he just heard.

Did Min Yoongi ask him out?

He did, didn’t he?

Jimin’s expression morphed from shock to delighted, blush deepening as it creeped up his neck to his cheeks.

He parted his lips and was about to squeal in joy when reality hit him.

He stopped, his mouth still open as his face falls, unshed tears glistening in his eyes.

He… he can't.

Who was he? He was a nobody, a loser. What if the school ever found out? His fans would leave. Yoongi would get all the hate directed at him because of Jimin and he didn’t deserve that. He can’t do that to Yoongi… He’d rather be heartbroken forever than be the reason Yoongi’s music is discredited. Yoongi works so hard for his songs, puts all his heart into his work. Yoongi’s music didn't deserve being shat on.

He can’t let that happen. He won't.

Yoongi looks at the obvious hesitation and conflict in the younger’s expression and he knew something was wrong. He was pretty sure Jimin liked him back but maybe he was mistaken?

He was about to salvage the awkward situation when Jimin dislodged himself from Yoongi’s gentle grip on his chin, and moved back to create some distance, murmuring, “I… I can’t hyung. I’m sorry…”

“But why, Minie?” Yoongi gazed at the younger, the pain reflected in his eyes made Jimin’s heart hurt. “You don’t have to answer right away… Please give it some thought.”

“I’m sorry Yoongi-hyung, I really like you. I do… Just… I’m not ready.” If Yoongi weren’t hanging onto his every word, he would have missed the slight shake in Jimin’s voice.

“Is it your parents?” Yoongi steps forward to reach for his shoulder but Jimin steps back again, leaving Yoongi’s hand suspended.

“No… Hyung. Just… I’m really sorry…”

Jimin turns and runs past him and out the front door, leaving a confused and distraught Yoongi behind, together with his equally dumbfounded friends.

Namjoon moves to wrap an arm around Yoongi’s shoulder, both of them still staring at the open front door.

“Well… For the record I thought he was into you too…”

Yoongi just nods. Glad to know his head wasn't in the clouds, Jimin did give those signals.

The room was silent for a moment before Taehyung(Wait, he was here? Since when?) spoke up.

“Please don’t give up on Jimin, Yoongi hyung. He’s battling with himself right now but he really likes you a lot.”

“If he likes me then why?” Yoongi couldn't help the disappointment in his voice.

Taehyung notices and pads over to join them looking out the door, an arm resting over his shoulder, mirroring Namjoon.

“Jimin… has a lot of insecurities. He worries he’ll drag you into his problems. He’ll come through though, eventually, so please don’t give up on pursuing him.”

Yoongi turns to look Taehyung in the eyes and sees the underlying concern and honesty swimming within his brown orbs.

Yoongi wasn't one to give up easily anyway. If anything, he’s pretty tenacious for someone so lazy.

If Jimin doesn’t feel comfortable sharing his troubles with him then Yoongi will wait. He won’t just wait silently, of course, but he figures Jimin needs some space for now and he’ll give him that.

Once he’s out of sight, Jimin leans against the nearest wall, sliding down as he buries his face in his hands and wails.

He didn’t want to break down in front of Yoongi.

He had to at least manage that.

Jimin’s pretty sure he busted all his chances. Yoongi had asked him out. Min Yoongi, against all odds, liked him back but he couldn’t accept it. He shouldn't. In fact, he should be proud he saved Yoongi from a relationship that was going to be more trouble than it would be worth. He knew it himself. He wasn’t worth it. Yoongi would grow to resent him. Yoongi would lose so much more than he would gain.

He did a good thing.

He did do a good thing, right?

Then why does it hurt so bad?

I had to put myself in a solemn mood while writing.

I never thought I'd ever write an angst piece but here I am.

Gosh my fragile heart can't take the hurt D:

And it's not even that bad. Light angst?

I should just continue writing flufffffffff T^T