December 25, 2017

Junmyeon's POV

"Time of death 11:59pm December 24,2017"
I heard the doctors are talking onside a room full of green curtains and noise. 

Did the say death. Wait did I misheard anything.

Oh... Is it raining?

Wait no it's just my tears. Those stupid and useless tears started to fall down from my eyes since I heard those jokes.

"Where's Kyungsoo's guardian?" The doctor called and I looked at him and rise my hands. My heart started to beat so fast and I want him to tell that Kyungsoo is just laying there and sleeping.

"Here" I spoke up with a trembling voice since I can't stop myself from crying.

He looked at me and went on my seat.

"Mr. Junmyeon right...are you Kyungsoo's...?" He said and gestured his hand that he want to know me.

"Boyfriend...fiancé." I cleared my throat and he only says 'ahh.'

"Mr. Junmyeon first of all, we so our best...but.." He pause for a while and that scene made me cry again.

He want to scream at him. I grab his shirt and pulled him closer then shake his body.

"But what?" I yelled at him and cry. I want to know what happened to my Kyung Kyung.

"He's dead in arrival... He's gone. He left you and condolence to you" he quietly states and walk away. 

What did he say?

End Of POV

Junmyeon stood there as the doctor left him. He is looking straight at the air and standing emotionless.

Then after a while he went inside the room and saw a dead and lifeless body of a boy.

He ran towards it and lay the half of his body on the bed. Crying there loudly.

"Kyung... Wake up!" He shouted and punch the bed his noise became louder that ever because he can't control his feelings.

"Hey...you don't want Myeon Myeon crying right? Then stand up your and hug me now" he said and walk around the room avoiding his eyes on the body of the lifeless boy laying on the bed.

In the end he also lay on Kyungsoo's side looking at him all the time while those tears aren't stop falling.

He hold the other's cold hand and caress it softly like he does when Kyungsoo is still moving.

Those memories flashed back.

Those scene that they hold their hand still mark on Junmyeon's mind and he doesn't want to erase all of it.

"Kyung...its the first time in Christmas that you didn't cry like you used to do...but it is also the first Christmas that you are not here on my side." He said. And hug the cold body of Kyungsoo.

He look at the others face then smiled.

"Even if you are lifeless like this. You are still beautiful, you are still in me, you are still the Kyung Kyung that I loved, you are still the squishy penguin, you are still in my heart, and you are still my boyfriend." He said and cried again. He tried to wipe out all those tears but he can't stop it 

He cleared his throat but seeing Kyungsoo is like this is a reason for him to tear more.

"Kyung tell me are you dead? I won't believe on what the says until you are the one who tell me your current situation." He says and hugged Kyungsoo for the meantime.

He said to the nurse that he wants some hours for him and Kyungsoo privately.

"First of all... You made me happy. Before you appeared on my life, everything was black. Then when you came you started to paint some colorful memories. And after all of them I found myself loving the person that loved me since the day he saw me... And it was you Kyung." He said and smiled while crying. This time he want only to tell his unheated story to Kyungsoo.

"Kyung...I haven't tell this to anyone I want you, the only person who will know this. Kyung on the day that our professor teased you in me... It was the day that I confessed right? Kyung it was because I knew I had a chance on you. And our relationship is perfect even we became boyfriend last days, but the thing is we became lovers past 16 years and that is a very long time for a couple and even us. A very long time hiding feeling. Kyung I am sorry for being violent sometimes, it was because you are so delicious and cute. I badly want you Kyung" he paused and laugh at himself. He is a bit embarrassed.

"Kyung as I wanted to said this thing for a long time ago. I need you and I can't live without you.  Kyungsoo please stand up and lets go home. Kyung if youre just fooling me now, it was totally not working because I wont believe that you are dead until you are the one who tells me that." he said and some memories flashed back. 

"Kyung please I want to went to that park with you, and remember we will got married after this holidays.  Then stand up and grant all your promises... " Junmyeon voice weaken when he mentioned 'promise'. 

Flashback

"Kyung dont mention that topic please" he begged his boyfriend  while they are walking around the park.  

It was dark all around  and theres no person running errands aroun here. 

Junmyeon is all wet up in tears because earlier Kyungsoo made a speech to him that makes him cry. 

"Kyungsoo... Please youre not going to die...  Remember you have to marry me and spent counting years with me" he said and Kyungsoo looked at him with a pale face. 

"Myeon Myeon...  I'd  love to, but I cant promise that.  We dont know where we ends and if my life ends this day.  Please dont cry and believe the doctors said. " Kyungsoo said. 

"What? " he asked again.

"If I die dont believe  those doctors and nurses because I will visit you and tell you that what is my current situation.  If I wont appear infront of or in your dreams please dont loose hope that I am alive" he said and hug Junmyeon. 

Then the two of them walk around the park.  Kyungsoo still cant walk properly  because on what they did. 

And thats the time when they cross the road. Junmyeon will be the one who is in danger but Kyungsoo swap their place.

End of Flashback

"...Kyung...  You dont promise me" he said quietly. "But I wont loose hope." he said. 

"Kyungsoo I was the right person who is laying here and not you.  I blame myself for this" he cried and cried until he collapsed on the room

*****
He woke up in his house.

He looked at the calendar.  

"December 20, 2018... Not bad... " he said to himself and walk around the house while tears are begins to fall. 

This was the day when he woke up Kyungsoo for the first time and he is sad that he cant do it again. 

"One year of crying" he states and drink a beer. 

"Kyung... Where are you. You said that you will appear but you didnt" he went to his room and pick up his diary to wrote what happens  to him yesterday. 

"Soo... You know I want to try to be inlove with another person but everytime I step out a centemeter on this house...  Someone is calling me so I went back and cried all day" he smiled and laugh at himself. 

"Kyung its merely a tear since I didnt saw you and talk to you. I've  missed you so much" he said and cough. 

Well he is getting sick because he dont want to eat this past months and he only drinks beer and other unhealthy foods.  He always stay here inside his house, he only goes out to buy things and rushly went back home hoping that Kyungsoo is waiting for him.  

But everytime he want back, all he see is a mess. And lifeless house. 

"Kyung...  I am so lonely here. Ive been waiting for you all this time.  You know I want to end my life, but not until you tell me that you are dead or alive."  Junmyeon stand up and pick some alcholos on his refregirator and drink it until he got alchoholic. 

"Kyung... Why did you save me... You are much worth living than me" he states and grabbed a knife and cut his arms rught away. 

His arms are full of wounds since he cut it everyday when he thinks that he is responsible to the youngers death. 

"Why did you have to leave?" he always question that then colla right away. 

*****

He woke up its was December 24, 2018.

He grabbed his bag and prepared everything he needs.  

He plan to went outside the country to got moved on from his past, but when he sees his engagement  ring it always brings uo tha past. 

He went to mirror and fixed himself. 

"Myeon... Your old face died" he said to himself when he observed that his face change even his body and attitude.  

It short the old Junmyeon who is full of cheer,  lovable, handsome,  angel looking turns out to be a rude,  negative,  pale,  and thin. 

Everyine who sees him thinks that he use drugs but in truth it was stress caused him to be like that.

He went outside on his house.  A house that full of memory he spent on hivs love one. He said that he is ready to move on but he can't. He cant helo but to cry everytime he thinks that he will erase tjose memories with Kyungsoo.

But he need to do it.  He need to continue his adventure and he need to move to find what he destined for. 

He drove on his car and went to airport.

There are too many passenger since it was Christmas. 

He book a ticket and wait for him to be called.

After an hours of waiting all of the people gone and he didnt care if he was the one who still waiting there. 

It was noon and the airport was so quite and clean.  

He bow his head and started to cry once again.

"Kyung... I missed the time when we looked for the sunrise together. I know it was past one year ago but those memories are deeply burried on my heart. The sun rise uo like how you do... You rised me up so high. We both watched the entier city on the top of the mountain. You made me believe that everything that below us is only a wall that want us to separate.  Those time you and I were on a very high place is a cool felling for me.  I want to said those things but you only mentioned about death death death... Stupid death. " cried  in the airport. His voice were bouncing all around the corner. 

He hears a footstepes neat at him, be doesnt pay a thing because he knew that the guard will throw him up. 

"Kyung... That day when we sleep on the floor is the best place for me to sleep because I have you on my side. But now not even the most comfortable  bed cant make me sleep.  When we make out,  you make me the happy person that deserves you. Those time were I cant forget how my mine into you.  How I can demonstrate  my love to you.  Even I hurted you I feel relief that I marked you only for me." he said and those foot steps stop.  He cried a loud. 

"Kyung... When I proposed to you, you make me trust that the world is perfect dor us.  Everytime I repeat that,  'that is our day' but it was a great lies.  Kyungsoo I didnt loose hope for you but I have to forget those creepy past, like you do on your memories. Kyungsoo you rised me up high and left it the middle of the sky. Now I am falling and no one catches me.  I love you Kyungsoo" he said and looked at the sorroinding then finds a guy seating besides him.

That guy is a very familiar shape and he is crying. 

"Myeon...  Sorry for leaving you. I dont know what you done wrong to make you suffers like this" that guy is looking at his hands while crying. 

Junmyeon's heart statrted to beat fast when he heared his name mentioned. 

The guy looked at him and smiled. 

"Oh... Sorry I just got remembered my fiance, because I leave him alone" he said to Junmyeon. 

Junmyeon is wearing a hoodie so that his face isnt exposed. And thay gut is wearing the same. 

"Hello... You know I am stranger but I think I want you to be my friend" Thar stranger said.  And Junmyeon just nod. 

"What's  you name? " the asked unison and they cried.  

That scene when Kyungsoo and Junmyeon always saying the same things at the same time. 

They both looked at each other but not giving an eye contact because they cant see each other.

"My name is Junmyeon/Kyungsoo" They said again in unison and without  caring on their names they both gave shake hands on their left hand. 

*ting*

A sound of metal hitting each other makes them think whats hapenning. 

They both thinks about each other's name and when they looked at their hand tied on each other. 

They saw a ring with a diamond in the center and a name printed on it. 

"Myeon Myeon" Junmyeon reas that leters printed on the ring of the other and the other read it too.  "Kyung Kyung" and they both looked at each other.

They both removes their hoodie. What they saw is unbelievable. 

"Is this true?" He asked the other and still starstruck. 

"Myeon Myeon... Is that you?" he asked the other seating in front of him. 

"Yes its me.  I've  been waiting for you all this time." they both stand up and Kyungsoo jumped out to his favorite place in the world...  Its in Junmyeon's arm. 

"Hyung...  I promise that I will appear and now here...  I will tell you my situation...  I am alive, I didnt die. " he said while soaking on Junmyeon's  chest. 

"huh?" He asked.

"The doctor is wrong.  I wake up on the time you leave the hospital.  Weve been findinf you all this time.  At first I didnt remembered anything but when I saw your engagement  ring I turns all the memories back.  I wanted to follow you but they send me to US and forced me to live with my brother, Jongin. Now I decided to went back here and faced the past that I leave" he confessed up. 

"Soo... It hurts alot but now seeing you that can stay with me like this and do those tings again. Removes all the pain" Junmyeon states. 

They both went to their house and cleaned all the things. Kyungsoo cried when he founds out what Junmyeon did when he was gone but it was all a scar on the past now. 

After they finished they both lay down on the floor again. 

"Lets start now" Junmyeon said and Kyungsoo just smiled at him. 

"I love you and I wont leave you again" Kyungsoo said and Junmyeon went top on him. 

"I love you too and I wont let anything do us apart" he said and starts to crush his lips to Kyungsoo and starts on their session. 

*****
After a year they got married and live a hapoy life loveing each other. 

Junmyeon and Kyungsoo wrote a book for telling all of thier stories. 

It was titled "5 Days Before Christmas"