December 23, 2017

Kyungsoo's POV

Life? 

Sorry but I dont have that. The way they treated me is so harsh. 

Its was me... A little... Cute... And squishy. Yes I loved to be called by that. 

Everyone loves me. My parents love me. 

But you know guys... Everything will change. 

It start when I was 5

*flashback*

"Kyungsoo honey its time to wake up" my mother called me. She went to my bedroom and fix all those plastic dinosaur scattered on the floor. 

She slowly peek on my bed and tickles me. 

I laugh... Yeah I laughed because I think that having them as my parents and family is the best thing happened to me. 

"Eomma I love you" I said and put some butterfly kissed on her cheeks. I run outside my roon and started to run away, starting my day with some balls that I used to chase. 

It was getting boring here and all I ever do was to play around with this lifeless thingu sorrounds me. 

"Honey come here I have something to teach you" she said. I went and joined her on the kitchen. 

She teach me how to cook and at that time I learned many recipies. 

*****

It was getting bored because I am sick of this childly movies. You know they are totally annoying. 

"Honey I will teach you how to sweep the floor" my mom said and I found it ineteresting so as fast as lightning I approached her and she lend me the broom and taught me how to clean the floor. 

"Mom it was not hard as I thought" I've said while sweeping our tiled flooring. 

I've saw my reflection and I focused my attention looking at the ground. 

"Hey you... Just continue on what you are doing" my mom yelled and throw some garbage at me. I thought that she wants to play but no. 

I went ontoher after I finished myself weeping the whole house. I grabbed a pillow and hit her legs. 

I thought that she was going to smile but no. She reached for a tube and she instantly hit it to me. I feel like the whole world got angry to me. 

She hit me continually until I collapsed there on the floor. Crying, body in pain, covered with bruises. I was like a total murdered child. 

And thats how my suffering starts. 

"Kyungsoo got off the floor and wash those dishes" did I heard right? 

I didn't recovered yet and she wants me to stand up and wash those dishes? 

But as a child I cant do nothing but to obey my parents. 

They keep on doing that to me for a months until I mastered everything.

I can cook while doing the dishes and cleaning the floor. I can also dusted some table and organized everything with ease. 

I was thank full to have a parents like them. They are getting strict but I think its all for me so that when I grew up I can do all the things. 

And after a several months... They started to teach me for work. By selling some assorted products. I feel happy at that time that I can help my parents.

But as soon as I observed they making me their personal maid. After work they started to tell me to clean the whole house.

If I refuse they will started to tortured me by burning my skin with a smoke or started hitting me.

But that's not all... I cried a lot when they forced me to go to a old man. 

He is so ert, he's a e. He want to make a his toy and use me whenever he wants. He is a pure erted man. But that time when he planned to me.

Dragged me to the floor and he slowly unbuckled his belt. He knelt down and before he touched his lips unto mine there's someone broke into the room.

He is a handsome young man wearing reading glasses and holding a gun. 

He rescued me and takes me to his family. His wife is very beautiful and his son... Is the most cute I've saw in my entire life.

They loved me so much but it doesn't erase my traumatic pass. I was planning to kill myself a hundred times... But Junmyeon, my lovely hyung always came and save me without him to notice. 

I feel loved, I feel like he is my everything he changed me so much... He means the whole world to me.

I love him...

*end of flashback*

I woke up early this day because its merely a Christmas and I was to enjoy everything with my Myoennie besides me.

I cook his favorite west side breakfast and called him. 

You know what he is still handsome even in the morning. 

"Junmyeon" I went inside our room. Yes we've decided to live with each other since were are a couple now. 

"Good morning" I said to him. He reached for me, while I am sitting here besides him. 

"Where's my morning kisses babe? " he asked me and my heart fluttered when he called me 'babe'. Am I dreaming? 

I gulped and dive my lips into him. I was planning to gave him only a pecked but he pulled me for more. You know he is so responsive and he cant control his hormones. 

He flipped us over and now I wads pinned down on the bed. He fixed himself on the top of me and spread my legs then back from kissing me again. Now I want it to stop before it gets worse.

But when I want to stop... My self doesnt wants... My weak self doesnt want. 

"Myeon stop" I whispered as I feel that my lips started to bleed again. 

As always he panicked and apologized to me as long as he can. I am a good person so I forgive him, although he hurts me physically but emotionally I loved being with him. 

"Its okay" I said and got up from the bed. He's still looking at me with worried eyes. And as soon as I left the room I heared a sudden shocking sound. 

I quickly entered and I saw him holding his head an hit it on the wall. 

I got shocked and remembered that Junmyeon does this things when he is depress. He used to hurt himself. 

He continued to do it until his head were freaking blooding. 

The with duvet and bed dress spilled with a pure red blood. 

Kyungsoo takes his way towards Junmyeon and hugged him so tight. 

"I said that it is okay... And... And you hurt yourself and now youre all wounded" Kyungsoo couldnt help himself but to cry seeing his boyfriend's blood at his head and the wall. 

"It was just I cant help myself when I  getting " Junmyeon states and Hus voice were trembling. 

"You don't have to do that... And now you did it again... Remember what mom and dad said? Do not do that again or else everyone will leave you." He said and I put some iced towel to Junmyeon's wound to stop the blood. 

Junmyeon closed his eyes and lay on my lap. I pit some antiseptics on his wounds. I'm lucky that it bleed because if its not I will have to take him to the hospital. 

He's only the reason why I want to live.

"Junmyeon...please don't hurt yourself" I said to him and he smiled at me. Its a faded smile.

"I am already" those words makes my think on what he was going to interpret. Too deep and I cant understand.

"What?" I asked him and continue to treat his head.

"Seeing you hurt, hurt me so much than you feel. And I can't forgive my self if I am the reason of it." He said and its makes me fluttered. I want to hug and kiss him right away... You know I love this boy very much.

"Its just only a wound" I sarcastically mean. 

He opened his eyes and look at me straight or eyes, he is very serious... He is handsome when he does that face.

"But...you know how possessive I am?"the questioned me and I nod.

I remember when we are still child. He doesn't want his things to get touched by me. 

"I don't want someone touches you and hurt you... So I can't forgive myself when I hurt you...gets?" I only smiled at him.

"But I don't want you to get hurt" I reason. 

"I would rather die for you...I love you Soo... You are my everything." He said and closed his eyes, bit he opened is soon as he feels my tear drops on his cheeks.

He stand up and hugged me.

"Myeon...please don't leave me... You are the only reason why I want to stay longer here" I said and cried out loud. "...you means the world to me... You've changed me. You know since I was 6 years old I was planning to commit a suicide to end all of my sufferings. All those past years staying with you, it only makes it worse. I want to end all of it because I think falling for you is impossible to be happy. 

Those past Christmas I was going to kill myself but you came into the rooftop and invite me to watch the star. I wished everything will end. 

I think that the world is angry to me so that I may suffer like this. Hyung I was planning to end all of this by tying my neck, but you came and brought me an album. You know it's my first time I feel appreciated.

I feel love...I was started to get off my thoughts but someone is telling me to end. 

But you know... I was wrong I thought. I didn't expect a weak like me deserves a perfect y man like you... I was thank full to have you.

You make me realized that I am wrong. I was wring about mentioning my parents is the best thing happenned to me..because it was you..

Hyung you are the best thing happened in my whole life. I love you" I ended my speech with a kiss on him.

He looked at me with a teary eyes.

"I am speechless" he said to me and we both laugh.