Monochromatic Hearts

 

 

A loud clang against the lockers brought about silence in the entire hallway, but it was quickly overlooked as they noticed the culprits behind it, going on about their business as if it was a normal sight to see people being shoved against lockers. A normal sight to see them being taunted by the more dauntless spirits, taking advantage of the poorer souls. An entertainment as much as a pity party, these onlookers had little to no power to stop them, unless a higher authority was to intervene.

 

Kyungsoo wasn’t much of a fighter, this much he realized. He accepted the malicious words and treatment without fighting back, but he was never one to stop doing what he loved either, which of course led to the prolongation of such behaviour by these lads. 

 

“While at it, why don’t you just wear a skirt, hm?” Such toxic words to hear, but Kyungsoo had been too immune to them to feel anything anymore and continued to receive them. 

 

“These slacks, they don’t suit you,” Amused laughter evoked, a finger hooked around one of his belt loops, and Kyungsoo gripped the hand to detach it from himself, turning around to open his locker. He took some books before a guy managed to slip his hand inside and grabbed his compact powder, flipping it open with a feigned curiosity before slipping it from his grasp and it landed on the floor with a thud and the cracking sound of a broken mirror. Kyungsoo looked down at the aftermath, the background filling up with guffaws. 

 

Another guy then took one of the tubes Kyungsoo kept in his locker, uncapping it while his friend spun him around and kept him in place. 

 

“Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo,” The leader (Kyungsoo presumed) said, approaching him with the lip tint in his hand and forcefully and messily applied it onto his lips while Kyungsoo calmly accepted it, making a good portion of it escaped his lip line on purpose. “Always tryna look pretty. But whom for? Us guys?”

 

“We don’t want you fags,” His friend beside him spat, his eyes condescending. 

 

The leader then harshly tugged at his hair, forcing him to tilt his head and Kyungsoo hissed in pain. “But if you grew out your hair like a girl, maybe we’d consider.” His voice was icy thin. “You already look like one anyway.”

 

“Dude, seriously?” One of his friends snorted. “I wouldn’t want him either way.”

 

“Shut your trap, you er. I’m not talking to you.” He rebutted rather rudely to his own friend, resuming his attention on Kyungsoo, and if the smaller boy paid attention enough he might’ve thought the bully was a closeted gay. The guy smirked, pressing his thumb on Kyungsoo’s lower lip and smudged the pigment. “You enjoy dolling yourself up, huh? Enjoy doing those things to other people too?”

 

“I can make you look pretty too, if you’d allow me to,” Kyungsoo spoke calmly, earning a scoff of disbelief from the taller male.

 

“You little , did you just talk back to me?” He tugged at Kyungsoo’s tie rather rudely before pushing him harder, and Kyungsoo winced at the pain against his back but then realised it wasn’t as painful as the blow to his stomach. 

 

The treatment varied from day to day, some days he didn’t even get cornered by them and those were the days Kyungsoo appreciated the most. 

 

High school .

 

But it was made bearable when he first heard of a supposed student who just recently got casted by an agency and was then well known as ‘that handsome trainee’. While he usually never imposed himself to such rumours, this particular gossip had his ears perked because of a certain incident.

 

Being in the theatre club had its perks when it came to the only thing he’s good at. Whenever they were having shows, or any sort of performances for events for that matter, Kyungsoo was one of the first persons they would look for in regards to amateur makeup, among some female students who were also good at it. It was also one of the things that perhaps made Kyungsoo enjoy his time a little there, although having little to no friends to share that joy was a bit of a downer. 

 

The restroom became the place where Kyungsoo was particularly comfortable with himself, especially when there was no one around and he could use the mirrors to himself. If there were people utilising the urinals, he usually went for the stalls and fixed his makeup with his compact mirror or his phone camera front screen.

 

It was one of those periods where he had the entire restroom to himself and he was just capping his liquid liner when the door barged open but that wasn’t the reason he had dropped the liner and it rolling on the unhygienic floor. He certainly wasn’t one for dramatic reactions, or so he thought, when the person that picked up his liner was none other than the renowned trainee, and he might or might have not just gaped.

 

The trainee went on and rinsed the slender tube, wiping it with the napkins before properly looking at Kyungsoo. 

 

“You must’ve been that guy who always wears and brings makeup,” The trainee said, handing the liner to a still Kyungsoo. 

 

Kyungsoo blinked at the tool in his hand, capping it properly and slipping it inside his pocket. “I’m… not sure if that’s a good or a bad thing.”

 

The taller male frowns. “Why would it be a bad thing?” 

 

Reasons. “N-Nothing.”

 

He immediately dismissed it, and his lips before he began. “I have this… dance recital at a local studio. An assignment, you could say.” 

 

Kyungsoo looked up at him, wondering if he was speaking to the wrong person.

 

“I’m too shy to get the girls to do them for me,” The junior male had said with a chuckle, rubbing his nape somewhat nervously. “But I have this concept I want to go for so bad, and it needs a certain look, so.”

 

Kyungsoo smiled. “I’d be delighted.”

 

The day never came however, for the junior was said to have transferred to School of Performing Arts in Seoul, closer to the agency. And Kyungsoo’s high school life returned to the same old bleakness, gray clouds or so to say. Sunshine had gone as soon as it came. Maybe Kyungsoo didn’t deserve sunshine at all.

 

Just one more year, he convinced himself. Endure it for one more year until graduation.

 

Kyungsoo has a lot of thoughts, or rather, reminiscence, to the very few times he had seen the younger man in his teenage years as well as the times he’s been working in the industry with Sehun. There weren’t a lot of instances where he came across him, despite having quite a similar spectrum with Sehun in terms of his working field, but when they do clash, Kyungsoo had only just… observed. 

 

And with his arms full of a certain male idol, very much limp, Kyungsoo can’t help remembering a nearly similar scene almost 3 months ago, in a restroom stall, with the both of them in a half- state.

 

Jongin had fainted back then too, on him too, and it took a good amount of energy to lift him up and away from him despite the pain that shot up his back at being… graciously taken. Sore and sticky, Kyungsoo managed to drag himself out of the stall and rested in the empty stall beside it for fear of being in the same presence of the idol once he roused from his drunken nap. He remembers tracing Jongin’s sleeping face with his eyes before moving himself, remembers the vivid emotions racking through his half-sober mind back then. He supposes he did feel bad for letting it ever happen in the first place.

 

Presently, Jongin is still heavy, still limp, and the weight leaning on him forces Kyungsoo to land on his knees as he struggles to keep them both upright and prevents Jongin’s figure to meet the floor, and that is how he ends up cradling a very tired man by the entryway, letting his head rest on his shoulder. 

 

“Jongin,” He calls, shaking his shoulder a little, but the man is already in a deep sleep judging by the steady rise and fall of his chest, and maybe Kyungsoo’s heart aches a little for him. He likens this feeling to cupping stars and dreams in his hands, and for fear of dropping them and potentially crushing them, he stays. He stays there, supporting him from falling, by the entryway where people could pass by and even recognise them. Kyungsoo stays, because he knows how much a rest is overdue for the man leaning on him, and he’s not about to rob that much needed rest from him. 

 

When he sneezes he finally decides staying there is not much of an excellent idea. 

 

-

 

As Kyungsoo waits for the water to boil, someone knocks on his door, and he isn’t surprised when it turns out to be the manager, his hands full. Questions of the idol’s whereabout arises, and soon Kyungsoo leads him to his bedroom where Jongin is tucked into his blankets, his coat laid at the foot of the bed because Kyungsoo didn’t dare put it anywhere else. Understanding that it could’ve been fatigue, Junmyeon sighs. 

 

“You carried him all the way here?”

 

Kyungsoo flushes. “Well um, someone had to.”

 

“Sorry. You’re tired yourself, with um—“ Junmyeon gestures to his belly vaguely, perhaps a little embarrassed to point it out. “Two of them.”

 

Kyungsoo smiles. “Jongin must’ve told you.”

 

“Of course. There are no secrets between us.” The manager shrugs, only now removing his coat. “Congrats, though. You must be ecstatic about it.”

 

“I am, thanks.” Kyungsoo replies with a timid smile, before remembering the boiled water. “Ah, would you want me to make you tea, coffee? I think I also have chocolate.”

 

Junmyeon smiles. “Chocolate sounds nice.”

 

Both seated on the floor around Kyungsoo’s Japanese table, Kyungsoo silently sips on his mug of warm chocolate before frowning. “Isn’t it worrying?”

 

“Of course it is. It’s no surprise that he constantly overexerts himself, but this is the first time he actually fainted.” Junmyeon says mindfully. “I might have to bring him to the hospital later, that is, if he wants to.”

 

“Why would he deny the hospital visit?”

 

“Obviously because it might stir talk. Too overly concerned fans can be overbearing. He doesn’t like that kind of attention.”

 

He’s a performer. That much is evident. He only craves attention for his carefully executed performance and not on his private life, as most working in the show business does. Kyungsoo wonders how stuffy it must be for him to have to stay guarded at all times when it comes to his personal life, more so now that he is acquainted with him in more ways than can be called simple. 

 

-

 

A tickle on his cheek stirs him awake, and black fur fills his vision.

 

“Oh, hi Winter,” Jongin greets, his voice hoarse from sleep as he pats the cat who has been sniffing at him and around his face. It takes him several more pats before it slowly comes to a halt.

 

…Winter?

 

Jongin gradually comes to a realisation that this is indeed not his home, and he is indeed not lying on his own bed. The last thing he remembers is seeing Kyungsoo’s face as the smaller man stared up at him with mild surprise before he—

 

Oh. Right.

 

Letting out a sigh, he stares up at the ceiling, wondering if he’s made Kyungsoo carry him here, of which said person reminds him of the very reason he decided to come here. The thought of having not one, but two children at the same time prompts him to sigh again, but this time he isn’t as upset about it as he was on the way here, probably due to the highly uncalled for nap he has gotten. His head doesn’t pound anymore, and his limbs have gathered enough energy to assist him in sitting up.

 

The first thing he notices is the coat laid on the other end of the bed. The second thing is what he assumes as Kyungsoo’s dressing table, on its surface stands a few cases and cups bearing brushes, as well as a round makeup mirror stand which he believes is essential to professionals like him despite the already large mirror attached to the table. 

 

The third thing is, the shelf. 

 

The shelf that houses a considerable number of albums, neatly arranged, and Jongin would be lying to himself if he said he was surprised to see some familiar titles.

 

Kyungsoo has all of his albums to date, but it can’t really mean anything because he also owns all of Sehun’s albums as well. There are also a number of other artists’ albums, but the shelf is mostly dominated with his and Sehun’s. Jongin’s not quite sure how to take this, but he doesn’t let it linger in his mind for too long.

 

He reaches for his coat to find his phone, wanting to know the time.

 

-

 

It’s nearly an hour since Jongin is asleep, and bored waiting for him to get up, Junmyeon has also resorted to taking a nap on Kyungsoo’s couch. 

 

Kyungsoo keeps the volume of the television to a minimum, sipping on his already cold chocolate. When Winter casually walks up to him, it is only then that he learns she’s been gone since Junmyeon arrived. Pondering about where she could’ve been, Kyungsoo has a hunch and instantly gets up and heads to his room. 

 

He can’t say he’s prepared to face a conscious Jongin who is now sitting up with his back against the headboard, focused on his phone.

 

Kyungsoo hesitates before clearing his throat, and the idol finally realises he isn’t alone anymore. 

 

“C-Can I make you hot chocolate?”

 

-

 

Jongin sips on his drink, albeit a little uncomfortably with the other male standing within the vicinity of the room but to be fair, Kyungsoo looks more… fidgety than he is.

 

“I must’ve been heavy.” He mumbles, watching the liquid swirl. 

 

“A little.”

 

“Sorry,” Jongin apologizes, studying the elder male from head to toe. He looks cozy in that coffee coloured sweater, but it would help if he isn’t as nervous as he is right now. Jongin can see it written all over him like an open book. “You can sit, you know.” He gestures at the foot of the bed.

 

Kyungsoo gives it a doubtful look before placing Jongin’s coat some distance away and finally sitting, his weight dipping on the bed. “Um, how are you feeling?”

 

“Physically better,” Jongin replies, placing the warm mug on the nightstand. “Do you suppose we discuss in your room like this?”

 

“I wouldn’t mind.”

 

“I probably would.” Jongin says, looking past him and towards the shelf. When Kyungsoo turns to see what it is, he instantly goes red. 

 

“Um.”

 

“For how long?” Jongin calmly asks. 

 

Kyungsoo directs his shaky pupils at him. “Sorry?”

 

“For how long have you been a fan of me?”

 

“…A while.” He isn’t telling him specifics, and Jongin supposes he’s already flustered him enough. 

 

“So you knew me,” Jongin concludes. “Back in Hawaii.”

 

“I… Yes.” Kyungsoo casts his head down, in repressed shame or regret, Jongin doesn’t know. “I would’ve been stupid not to, considering the nature of my job.”

 

“The real statement would have been you would’ve been stupid not to have a drunken intimacy with an idol you’ve been harbouring a secret liking for ‘a while’ whom cameras follow everywhere.” Jongin says, and realises it came out venomous and self-centered as he looks over at how hurt Kyungsoo looks. “…Sorry.”

 

“You are tired, Jongin.” Kyungsoo says, solemn. “I… I shouldn’t have texted you about the appointment.”

 

“So you intended to keep it from me? Until when?”

 

“Did Jongdae tell you?” The smaller man asks instead.

 

Jongin stares at him deliberately, not sure if giving his best friend away is a good idea, but he guesses Kyungsoo has the right to know. “It’s Sehun.”

 

There is a brief moment where Kyungsoo looks a little betrayed, probably already decided that he would keep it from Jongin until a specific time only to have his best friend broke it to him first. And if Jongin is to be honest with himself, he feels a little… vexed that Kyungsoo would have such thoughts in the first place, to keep something so important under the shadows, from him most importantly. 

 

“By you coming over to my apartment that day, I would’ve thought I made it clear that I will be in this with you.” Jongin says, keeping a stern gaze at him. “But clearly you’d rather your friends know about it first.”

 

“You’re so temperamental sometimes.” Kyungsoo mumbles. “You were the one who refused to see it— them.”

 

That must’ve taken him off guard, because Jongin scoffs. “It was a bad time, Kyungsoo. And I was tired from work.”

 

“I figured.” Kyungsoo replies dolefully. “Which is why… you know.”

 

“Well you can’t have kept it from me until you deliver, can you? If Sehun didn’t tell me, for how long did you intend to keep it from me?”

 

Kyungsoo huffs. “Why are we even arguing about this, Jongin?” He looks far more tired than Jongin is, and it makes him feel bad now. That was definitely just egoistical on his part, Jongin comes to realize. Kyungsoo’s right, though. He was the one who didn’t want to see it.

 

“Show me the ultrasound, then,” Jongin says, coming out more like a demand than he intends it to be, and Kyungsoo seemingly catches it.

 

“There’s no need to force yourself, Jongin.” 

 

“I’m not forcing myself. I want to see it.” Jongin states more firmly, until he sighs and softens his tone. “Let me see it, please?”

 

It may have somewhat appease him because Kyungsoo finally relents, getting up and going to the nightstand beside Jongin to pull a drawer out. He takes the folds of paper on top of it before pushing it close, and hesitantly hands it to the idol on the bed. 

 

Jongin spares him a look before unfolding the printout, and it turns out to be a series of pictures arranged vertically and making it look like a long receipt or something. There are a total of 5 pictures, all of which he hardly understands what he’s supposed to be seeing. 

 

As if sensing his confusion, Kyungsoo steps in. “Um, would you mind if I…?” Jongin shakes his head, waiting. A slender finger then helpfully circles at a particular round opacity. “That’s the first one,” It then moves a little to the side. “And that’s the second.”

 

It proves to be very useful now that Kyungsoo points them out, and now Jongin can make out the two foetuses in the rest of the sonograms, taken at different angles by a slight difference in degrees, and Jongin doesn’t know what to feel. 

 

He partly contributes to the making of the two blobs, which undoubtedly makes him the other parent. While he does wish to settle down some day and build his own family after having done with the entertainment world, to have a part of it this early doesn’t really sound like an achievement, but he can’t bring himself to be mad about it after spending a good two months and a half doing just that.

 

Jongin understands what this would bring should the press caught a sniff about it, and for that he trusts his agency to handle it. Kyungsoo is also generally a very low-key person, and he has faith that the smaller man will try his best to keep it hush-hush.

 

When it comes to other more important matters, though, Jongin finds himself questioning if he would be stuck with Kyungsoo for the time being, or for the rest of his life even. It’s impossible for them to not be linked to each other, with that link just so happens to share their blood. He also has his immediate family to think about, and to notify them of the upcoming new members of the family, to which he dreads thinking about for now and puts it at the back of his mind for much later and deeper deliberation.

 

With that, he thinks he’s taken his time just for staring at a couple of black and white pictures. He folds them back according to the creases and hands it over to Kyungsoo who is still standing beside him. “Thank y—”

 

What he doesn’t expect to see is the other male crying.

 

“I’m sorry, it’s just—“ Kyungsoo haphazardly wipes his eyes with the back of his hand, turning his gaze away, ashamed perhaps. “I know this is hard for you too, no— especially you. And I- I can’t stress enough how sorry I am that you’re caught in this mess because of me but I’ll have you know that I am not one bit sorry for bearing them,” He sniffles. “They’re the only thing in my life right now that I can safely call mine, and God if I didn’t plan on loving them with everything that I have—” 

 

He releases a particularly loud hiccup, forcing him to turn away in embarrassment for a few seconds before returning to face him. “And I completely understand if you want out, Jongin. Y-You don’t deserve to be pulled down by the burden of fathering two kids while being at the peak of your dream career. I don’t want to pull you down like that.”

 

Kyungsoo looks like he has more to say but he withholds it, going over to his dresser to take some tissues and wipes the moisture all the while Jongin watches him, feeling a tight squeeze in his own chest to have witnessed such a sight. He’s never seen Kyungsoo cry before, and it doesn’t make him feel good. It doesn’t make him feel good at all.

 

He drops his gaze on the pictures, his mind muddled but it all comes back to one thing - how sorry he feels for having told Kyungsoo to get rid of them. What he believes is a nuisance to him turns out to be another person’s chance at having his own family, and he almost shattered that chance, and for what? His sketchy profession?

 

“But I don’t think you have to worry about it anymore, about us.” Kyungsoo says, going back to sitting on the bed, and Jongin can see his glassy eyes and red nose. “It would seem that me taking my leave is happening sooner than I thought it would be. Lesser risk of being found out, don’t you think?” He chuckles bitterly.

 

This has him sitting up, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed as he offers an attentive look at the elder male. “Have you got something in mind already?” 

 

Kyungsoo remains quiet, contemplating. He still sniffles every few seconds, and Jongin can tell it’s making him a little distressed at being seen like this. “Sehun, his manager and Baekhyun came to visit me before you.”

 

Jongin listens. Kyungsoo gulps, looking down at the sheets and picks on it in a nervous gesture. “Jongdae knows a friend who will readily accept me after I stop working for Sehun.”

 

At this, Jongin has an eyebrow raised in question. “What job?”

 

“It’s… at a salon.” Kyungsoo reveals. “There’s a vacancy for a hairdresser.” He chuckles a little but Jongin doesn’t find anything funny about it. “It’s not gonna pay a lot, that I know, but at least it’s still within my… foundation. Less mobility than working for Sehun, more rest. All that.”

 

“Does this friend have a name?”

 

Kyungsoo tries to remember. “It’s Mr. Park Chanyeol or something.”

 

Jongin’s brain clicks. “Park Chanyeol? As in LOEY Salon?”

 

“Is that the name of the place?”

 

“I thought you would know this. It’s a famous hair spa down in Cheongdamdong.” Jongin clarifies. “It’s not just gonna give you a regular pay check - you’ll in fact be paid handsomely. Some celebs go there too.”

 

It’s one of the biggest hairdressing and nail salon there, as far as Jongin remembers. He’s never been there of course, but he’s heard Minseok talking about it sometimes. If Kyungsoo is to work there then he should be good. While it is well recognised, however, the reputation makes Jongin feel a little skeptic knowing that Kyungsoo will work there, but he supposes it shouldn’t be too much of an issue.

 

“Then, that’s good, right?” Kyungsoo says, his face hopeful. 

 

Jongin truthfully can’t tell. “Yeah.” He’s not exactly in congruent with it, but he doesn’t have a sound rebuttal for it either. It’s just that the fact that it’s well-known even for celebs doesn’t sit well with him. “Yeah, it is. But what happened to whatever we’ve discussed back at my apartment?”

 

Kyungsoo frowns, genuinely confused. “Jongin, you can’t still think of doing that, can you? I don’t think you’re willing to be tied down like that.”

 

“You’re telling me that you don’t want my help?”

 

“I’m giving you a chance to be free from all of this.”

 

A silence falls upon them, until Jongin slides the ultrasound pictures to him on the mattress. “This. They’re mine too, right?”

 

Jongin watches Kyungsoo stare at the set of pictures before returning to look at him, and it’s so full of uncertainty and there’s a silent request to perceive Jongin’s question as something more than what seems to be merely superficial. It’s an honest question, underlying of which is of a small apology. They’ve been fighting this battle for too long, two hearts at a constant rift. It’s time they bring this to a closure, for they have tire their hearts out. 

 

“Yes,” Jongin hears him say with a hiccup, and he smiles when Kyungsoo has to look away for a moment before letting out a soft laughter. “Yes, they’re yours too.”

 

-

 

The airport is buzzing with the constant announcements as well as people rushing to their respective departure gates. There’s a muffled airplane noise in the background. 

 

Kyungsoo is currently on his second cup of Baskin Robbins, if only to distract himself from being too bored waiting to board their plane. Their flight to Bangkok is apparently delayed for 30 minutes, and his phone is almost dying he’s saving his power bank battery life for when he’s on the plane.

 

Baekhyun watches him eat quietly until Kyungsoo offers him a scoop, to which the stylist denies. “I’ve had enough from mine just now. I think my jaw is about to freeze.”

 

“Jaws don’t freeze,” Kyungsoo laughs, bringing the spoon into his own mouth. “They get dislodged, though.”

 

“I could really use some hot soup right now. How the hell are you on your second cup? On this season, no less…”

 

Kyungsoo ignores him, scooping the last of his ice cream before tossing it into the dustbin. When he takes a look at the digital clock displayed on the LED TV overhead, it’s about 15 minutes to boarding now. 

 

“Ah, it’s going to be really hot when we land there, though.” Baekhyun comments, searching for something in his backpack. “Did you prepare a shirt for change?”

 

Kyungsoo pouts, remembering that he didn’t in fact bring one in his hand luggage although he packed sufficient amount of summer wear in his checked baggage. “Can I borrow yours?”

 

“Mine’s large, though…”

 

“Large is good. Are you forgetting how fat I am now?”

 

Baekhyun snorts. “You’re not fat.”

 

“How is pregnant with twins not fat?”

 

“Ooh, you’re at that stage now, I see.”

 

Kyungsoo narrows his eyes at him. “What stage?”

 

“You know… Mood swings… Appetite gain….” Baekhyun mumbles, purposefully avoiding Kyungsoo’s gaze. “…That stage.”

 

Kyungsoo slowly looks away with a pout, acceding to Baekhyun’s claim rather sadly. He’s going to be so… fat. And moody.

 

“N-Not like it’s a bad thing or anything! Don’t feel too bad, yeah?” Baekhyun hurriedly try to cheer him up, offering to treat him to a third cup of Baskin Robbins if he really wants it but Kyungsoo rejects it and only clutches at his arm quietly. When an announcer turns on the mic and informs them that the plane is ready for boarding, they all get in line. 

 

“So did things go well with him?” Baekhyun asks off-handedly, checking his boarding pass and passport while the line slowly moves. 

 

The makeup artist has a moment to himself where he replays the other day in his mind, and he can’t help but feel all cottony. Did things go well with Jongin? Is it safe to say that it did? 

 

Feeling a little giddy, Kyungsoo attacks the unguarded stylist with a surprise hug that almost topples them both down, and Baekhyun struggles to balance them both while still holding onto his passport. “Hey hey what’s this all of a sudden, Doh Kyungsoo?”

 

“It’s cold.” Kyungsoo whispers, clinging tighter and hiding a happy smile into Baekhyun’s jacket.

 

-

 

“It’s hot.”

 

Kyungsoo fans himself as they wait for their transport to their hotel. He’s just changed into Baekhyun’s white tee, and like the other male said, it’s definitely big and baggy enough so it doesn’t cling to his small bump, but if one were to playfully pull on the material from behind, it would definitely show. It could be mistaken as a bloat, though, at least Kyungsoo hopes so, but either way his stomach is not lean anymore. 

 

He sees Baekhyun asking something to a local security, probably about their late transport. While waiting for their van, Kyungsoo looks at the other side of the arrival gates which is positively swarmed by a sea of fans with their DSLRs. Apparently Sehun still hasn’t come out of the airport. The idol must be taking his sweet time shopping inside. 

 

Kyungsoo turns on the international roaming in his phone settings, going to his Instagram to check his notifications. A curious inclination has him searching up LOEY Salon and it brings him to an account with over 100k followers, with most of the photos consisting of product promotion and occasionally celebrities. Kyungsoo’s genuinely surprised he’s never come across such a name before. There are even a couple of well-known commercial makeup artists that he’s definitely heard of while working in the industry. While he himself only devotes his work to Sehun and no one else, some of these people are on-call celebrity makeup artists, and they’re really popular for their high demands they’re even sometimes dubbed as artists themselves - a brand of some sort. 

 

Kyungsoo thinks working there might pay as good as working for Sehun, so he need not worry about not getting a paycheck while taking care of himself and the two little beans. And then there’s also Jongin…

 

He has to suppress a silly smile at the thought of the idol. Jongin has once again stated that he’s willing to share the burden, but this time he also calls the children as his. Kyungsoo had half a mind that Jongin were going to cut off all ties from him from when he came yesterday, so he’s truly happy to know that wasn’t the case. 

 

Surely he still feels sorry for him, but he’s willing to allow himself to be happy knowing that he’s not going to be alone in this. It’s not wrong to be happy about it, right?

 

For the first time in a while, he feels light. 

 

-

 

After lunch at a Thai restaurant, they brought Sehun to the concert venue for a rehearsal before the idol gets to rest, while he and Baekhyun goes shopping. They’re currently at a local drugstore, and Kyungsoo is fascinated with a particular bottle of silk cocoon scrub he ends up buying seven bottles of them to bring home. He also indulges himself into purchasing some prettily crafted handmade soaps because obviously he can’t be bothered with saving when it comes to travelling. If he’s going to regret it, he’ll do it later.

 

They also manage to squeeze an impromptu visit to Wat Pho to see the famous reclining Buddha, and even go on a short stroll at one of the local markets. Baekhyun drags him into a souvenir store and Kyungsoo spends some more Bahts before deciding his hands are full and his feet tired, and they try to hail a cab afterwards.

 

“What are these?” Baekhyun later asks him as they’re on their way to their hotel, picking up a bottle of one of the cocoon scrubs.

 

“They’re face scrubs.” Kyungsoo explains. “You fit it onto your finger and wet it, then scrub your face. The girl from the store taught me.”

 

“I thought they’re meant to be eaten…” Baekhyun says, studying them closely. “Did these come from actual silkworms?”

 

“I… think so?” Kyungsoo spins it around so he can read the label but he can’t read Thai, and there’s no description in English.

 

“So you scrub your face with hollowed out cocoons… that used to be filled with… actual worms…”

 

Kyungsoo snorts. “Well part of the contents found in lipsticks are derived from squashed beetles, and you also have bat poop in mascaras.” When Baekhyun makes a grossed out face and partially dissociates at this newfound information, Kyungsoo smiles in victory. “The more you know, huh?”

 

-

 

The next morning, a van picks them up and drives them to the concert venue. Final rehearsals are being made, safety checks carried out. Kyungsoo later finds himself in the waiting room doing Sehun’s makeup and hair.

 

“I bought something for Winter’s birthday.” Sehun announces.

 

“Oh did you now?” Kyungsoo smiles, carding his fingers through Sehun’s sort of fried hair after having it bleached several times to get this shade of blonde. “What is it?”

 

“It’s a secret.”

 

“Don’t buy her anymore fashion glasses. She has a lot of those now.” Kyungsoo reprimands him playfully. “Her mini closet is full because of you.”

 

“I’ll buy her a new closet, then.” Sehun states nonchalantly, earning a light yank at his hair. “Ow.”

 

“Don’t waste your money on useless things like that.”

 

“You bought her tutus.” Sehun counters sulkily.

 

“That’s not the same.” Kyungsoo laughs. 

 

“How is it not?” The idol then motions for him to come closer so he can whisper. “I also bought something for the twins.”

 

Kyungsoo pulls away with a blush, continuing his work on Sehun’s hair mutely. “Isn’t it too early for that…”

 

“I hope they both look like you.” Reaching over for the hand fan, Sehun directs it to his already sweaty neck. The weather here is a huge contrast to that of South Korea. 

 

The makeup artist looks around discreetly, mentally relieved they’re all too busy with their own jobs to overhear them. “You shouldn’t say stuff like that out loud. And why would you want them to look like me?”

 

“You’re obviously cuter than him. Don’t tell Jongin, though.” He whispers the last part with a whimsical smile. Kyungsoo doesn’t know how to retaliate to that, so he doesn’t. 10 minutes later he’s done with Sehun so he finds himself a seat because his feet are a little sore from standing for too long. 

 

A weight dips beside him on the cushion. “Hey, Kyungsoo. Do you think you can do my eyeliner?”

 

Kyungsoo turns to find a smiling dancer beside him, Moonkyu. “Sure, why not?” He reaches for his makeup case from the desk and looks for some liners before going back to sitting beside him with his torso facing him. “Did you travel yesterday?”

 

“We only went to some temple and shopped at the street markets.” Moonkyu replies, staying still. “Nothing much. How about you?”

 

“Same, except me and Baekhyun also went to the mall.” Kyungsoo carefully lines his waterline.

 

Moonkyu then presses a finger onto Kyungsoo’s stomach, eliciting a startled yelp. “Thai food that good?”

 

Kyungsoo is honest to God scared out of his mind when the dancer poked him in such a way. He still has a wide-eyed look at him, and he wills himself to calm down before continuing his work on Moonkyu’s eyes. “Y-Yeah.”

 

“Do you have a boyfriend, Kyungsoo?”

 

Again, Kyungsoo has to retract the liquid liner from the dancer’s eyes as he stares at him dumbfoundedly. “Why would you ask that?”

 

“Because if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were pregnant.” Moonkyu says indifferently, and Kyungsoo’s heart is about to drop when he continues and adds: “Or are you?”

 

“It’s… It’s just bloat.” Kyungsoo stammers, his hands close to trembling and he doesn’t trust himself to finish the rest of Moonkyu’s eyes. 

 

How could he have known that? Has Kyungsoo really shown that much already? But when he looks down his own figure, it looks pretty flat. He even wears sweatpants nowadays instead of jeans because the bagginess allows him to hide his bump better. 

 

“Never mind. Let me,” Moonkyu steals the liner from his hand and leans closer to the mirror, finishing it off himself while Kyungsoo is absorbed with his thoughts. The dancer then returns the liner to him and thanks him with a curt bow, turning around.

 

Kyungsoo can only look at him dumbly, and when he finds out that Sehun has been watching the exchange from the other side of the room, they share a troubled glance before the idol walks up to him. 

 

“See you on stage!” Moonkyu slaps the idol on the back, prancing back to his friends who are doing each other’s makeup by themselves and joking with each other. 

 

“Kyungsoo,” The makeup artist hears him call, his voice hushed yet alarming, and Kyungsoo is still thinking of a time he had been careless only to come up short of nothing. He tries his very best to keep himself at low, so how the hell could the dancer know? Or was it from back then at the SUM cafe? 

 

“Kyungsoo, look at me.” Sehun shakes his shoulder softly, finally getting the shorter male to look up at him. “It’s okay. It’ll be fine.”

 

“Sehun,” He whispers shakily, his hands starting to grow clammy and cold. “I think he knows.”

 

“He doesn’t,” Sehun says, his tone full of reassurance as he rubs his back in attempt to soothe him. “No one knows. You’re fine.”

 

Kyungsoo lets himself be comforted by Sehun, the two of them utterly oblivious to a pair of eyes trained on them ever since the idol came up to him.

 

-

 

“This LOEY Salon,” Jongin says in the midst of chewing his meat. “Can you get me a list of people frequenting there?”

 

“LOEY Salon? What for?” His manager asks over reading something on his phone.

 

“Kyungsoo will be working there soon.”

 

Junmyeon shoots him a look of disbelief. “That’s… That’s great, isn’t it?”

 

“I mean, I guess,” Shrugging, Jongin pushes away the potato chunk to the side of his plate, and takes more meat. “But I’m just a little worried, you know. It’s quite a renowned place.”

 

“Taking precautions, I see,” Junmyeon hums, resuming scrolling down his phone. “I’ll look up and let you know about it.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

Junmyeon has been awfully quiet after that, and Jongin finally asks him what’s up, but his manager gives him a brief glance before sliding his own phone towards him, looking around warily. Jongin frowns before taking the device, bringing it up to face level while he stabs on a piece of meat.

 

Chewing, he starts reading whatever that had Junmyeon stressed this time. 

 

There’s an indistinct chatter in the background, of people chatting with each other, of waiters reciting their customers’ orders, of a toddler crying. 

 

But Jongin can only hear his own rapid heartbeat as he stares at the excerpt of an article.

 

-

 

“[Insstiz] Blind items as of November 2017”

 

1. Popular girl group member A is said to have been proposed by a famous politician overseas. No further confirmation on whether she accepted the proposal or not, but A has always been known as a charmer in her group and has that distinctive chaebol aura to her, which might have also charmed this politician as well when he visited South Korea for a national event.

 

2. Veteran actor B has been said to have attitude problem that troubles not only his own team but also the staff in charge of production. B is undeniably talented and his works are often marketed overseas and earns him an immense popularity, but only the people who work behind the scenes truly know of his arrogance and his prince disease. Despite this, PDs often choose to overlook this issue since he brings in the bucks, and to this day no one has ever called him out on it.

 

3. Top male idol C from a renowned agency is rumoured to have knocked up a non-celebrity who works under the same company. It is said to have happened during a private company event that was held overseas. Journalists are still looking into further details.

 

 

1. [+955, -176] I have a good guess that that first rumour applies to Wendy of Red Velvet. 

2. [+843, -150] First rumour sounds like Wendy. Didn’t Red Velvet perform for some sort of an international event last 2 months?

3. [+642, -102] I’m really curious about who C is…

4. [+450, -87] Top male idol… Renowned agency… You can easily shortlist some names… There aren’t many male idols who come from renowned agencies. These kind of companies usually manufacture idol ‘groups’.

5. [+223, -40] Ahh, why do I have a bad feeling about C…

 

 

 

 

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A/N : thank u so much for 1k subs ;;