Monochromatic Hearts

Sweat beads roll down the side of his face and neck, his bangs plastered to his forehead. Still, he’s putting the most dazzling smile with all his straight teeth, even when his whole body is profusely sweating underneath his skintight leather pants and sheer blouse showcasing his well sculpted muscles. 

The arena is deafening with the fan screams, bouncing off the walls and if it wasn’t for the high technology sound system, the music would’ve totally been buried. Thousands of stars illuminated the place courtesy of the fanlights.

A capitalized KIM KAI in electric blue is displayed on the LED screen, and Jongin bows to every side of the arena, waving and mouthing a thank you to all his fans that are present there. He still waves to them on his way to backstage, listening to the fans cry of already having missed him.

Five years into his idol career, Kim Jongin, or well known as his stage name Kim Kai, has completed his fourth world tour with this last stop. Award winning young man and record breaking here and there, he slowly becomes the adored talented idol and is often flaunted for it. The nation’s jewel in the entertainment industry, or so to say.

Internally, Jongin is very much elated to be away from all this loudness. It was starting to make his ears ring.

-

“Kim Kai, successfully completes his fourth tour ‘Rise’ at SM Arena last night”

[Photo]

Source : Daily Entertainment via Naber

1. [+2,355, -376] Well done on another successful tour!! You can rest and eat lots of good food now~

2. [+1,843, -220] Wow, that photo looks so unreal… Our Jongin is literally shining on that stage

3. [+1042, -102] I heard he juggled between his tour and his drama filming at the same time. He’s a hard worker indeed

4. [+750, -87] The whole arena really lights up. It’s like a whole new world in that arena. His fans are amazing

5. [+423, -40] Even after five years, he looks so sincere on stage. To another successful year together, Kim Kai!!

“South Korea’s top idol Kim Kai wraps up his fourth tour at SM Arena”

[Photo]

Source : Music News via Nade

1. [+639, -271] Congratulations, Kim Kai! God-tier visuals as always~

2. [+411, -140] Wow, his makeup is really thick in that photo…. And look at all that sweat…. A bit gross

3. [+204, -168] I saw someone on Twitter said the seats weren’t even completely filled out

4. [+157, -153] Crazy fangirls, he was half-assing most of his performances. I watched some fancams and it was really cringe-worthy

5. [+102, -73] Flop-dol

-

Jongin scrolls through the news site, his free hand holding his protein shake, as he tsks at some of these hate comments.

“Did you expect me to be all dry skinned after all that jumping and yelling? Damn, antis gotta chill.” Jongin grumbles, sipping onto his shake. 

“Hey Jongin, I placed your earphones on the coffee table. Don’t lose them.” Junmyeon informs him, walking to and fro in the room with one hand reading something from his phone and another bringing their luggages to the other side of the room so as not to block paths.

“Sure.” He answers. His long term manager, Kim Junmyeon is also his childhood friend, whom he’s known since his predebut days. The company almost casted him to train under them, but Junmyeon was fairly adamant about not wanting to be under all that spotlight. Even when coerced, Junmyeon only responded with ‘If Jongin debuts, let me be his manager.’ Not that their friendship was deep before, but they’re pretty much comfortable with each other that Jongin doesn’t mind being nagged at by him.

He closes the news site and lurks on Twitter next, going to his fansites’ accounts to see if there are any good photos of him. He saves those which he thinks might make for a good wallpaper for his tablet and phone. When the exhaustion finally registers in his muscles, he goes over to the bathroom to wash up, but not before putting on his favourite playlist. The music blares through his bluetooth speakers he received as a birthday gift from one of his fansites.

“Not so loud, Jongin! I’m on the phone!” Junmyeon shouts from the kitchen. Jongin turns the volume down a bit, humming while brushing his teeth. “And don’t leave the toothpaste in the sink!”

“Mrmh!” Jongin answers. Once finished with all his facial skincare routines, he goes back for his phone and turns off the speakers, considering snapping a bare-faced photo to upload on his Instagram until he decides not to because he has a huge pimple on his chin.

Just as he slips in his bed, Junmyeon appears with an outstretched hand gripping on his phone. Jongin raises an eyebrow.

Junmyeon urges for him to take the phone. “It’s Jongdae. Said he wants to talk to you.”

“Jongdae? What for?” Confused, he puts the ringer against his ear, watching as Junmyeon folds his arms and observes Jongin like a hawk. “Hello?”

“Jongin?”

“Yeah it’s me. What’s wrong?” It’s weird. Jongdae is Sehun’s manager, who is also Jongin’s best friend and is under the same company, but debuted a year later than him. He’s never had the need to talk to Jongdae before. They are as good as colleagues who go about their own business.

“Okay, listen up kid- no, let me talk to him!” Jongin hears a voice shouting from the other side of the line. “You know Kyungsoo, right? Do Kyungsoo? Hey, stop it—”

There’s a rustling sound until a pant is heard from the other side, huffing. “Hey pal, it’s me, your man Sehun.” He chuckles a bit awkwardly.

“Oh hey dude. What’s the fuss? I thought you were filming?”

“Yeah, no, it was over about an hour ago.” Sehun says, then takes a long while to say whatever he wants to say. “Uhhh, your manager says you’re free tomorrow and the day after that. Do you think you can make it to the SM building once you touchdown tomorrow afternoon?”

“That urgent? Dude, what happened? Tell me.”

There’s another sound of people bickering in the background until Sehun comes on the line again. “See you, Jongin!” And just like that, he hangs up.

He looks up at Junmyeon then, all sorts of confusion painting his face as he hands the phone back to him. Junmyeon purses his lips, his eyebrows knotted together. Jongin knows that expression, it is pure stress. He hasn’t seen that expression since the last time when Jongin almost lost his passport 20 minutes prior to boarding a flight to Hong Kong, and it was the last flight that night and Jongin had a concert scheduled the next evening.

“Jongdae told you something, right?” Jongin begins, his voice small. “That bad?”

Junmyeon only raises both his eyebrows, as if to say ‘we’ll see’.

-

Jongin releases a particularly huge yawn, covering it with his phone as he walks down the passage along the arrivals section. Shutters upon shutters are heard, snapping his photos as he touches down their home country. Still somewhat sleepy from the brief nap in the flight, Jongin manages a small wave to the sea of fangirls. He knows some of them are his fansites.

Junmyeon places a protective hand around his shoulders when the crowd begins to thicken, narrowing their path even after being surrounded by the group of bodyguards. Even when phones and cameras are shoved in his face, Jongin maintains his smile, not wanting the same article about his cold behaviour towards his fans to be up on the news site like a year ago.

When they finally reach his car, Jongin gives one small wave before getting in and releasing a huge sigh. He waits for Junmyeon to get on the other side of the car before asking for a bottle of water.

“You cool?” Junmyeon asks after telling the driver to go to the company building instead of Jongin’s apartment.

Jongin nods, leaning back in his seat and shutting his eyes close. “Gonna catch a quick nap.”

“I’ll wake you up when we’re there.”

-

When Jongin steps out of the car, he isn’t surprised to see a group of girls waiting outside the building with their phones out. They do look surprised to see Jongin there, though, since they thought he would be resting at his place before resuming recording and practicing for his new album. Shortly after, the whole group directs their phones to get even a second of footage of Jongin entering the building and closely followed by his manager behind him.

“Are they here already?” Jongin asks, eyes trained on his phone distractedly. The flip flops are loud against the tiled floor, and Jongin knows he isn’t very presentable for any sort of official meeting, in which he hopes isn’t the case.

“Yeah, said to be there at Vocal Room 3.” Junmyeon says.

“No one’s using the room?”

“Not for today, no.”

Jongin frowns. “Why not just meet up at the lounge or something? Mr. Sooman didn’t invest in all those lounges for nothing.”

“I think they don’t want to catch any passerby’s attention. Rumors spread fast among the trainees and staffs here. They might think you and Sehun are collaborating or something.”

Jongin frowns. “What’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing. Just- walk, Jongin.”

-

Peeking into the glass window on the door, he can see four figures in there. Sehun is standing near the upright piano against the wall, and his manager Jongdae is crossing his arms, standing near the couch. Seated on the couch, though, are two different people Jongin least expects to be there.

Junmyeon goes ahead and knocks on the door, prompting Jongin to pull away from peeking and stay behind Junmyeon as they make their way inside.

“Jongin! Did you have a nice flight?” Sehun says, his voice strangely chirpy than usual, and Jongin’s a bit uncomfortable.

“Sehun, dude what’s up? You don’t have recording today?”

“Nope.” Sehun says, eyeing the two people seated on the couch. Jongin follows the gaze and bows slightly in greeting, and is returned in a similar manner.

Jongdae then decides to speak up. “Hey, Junmyeon, thanks for making it.” Junmyeon gestures with a no problem before giving him a questioning look, mirroring Jongin’s one. Jongdae seems less agitated compared to the call last night. 

Sehun motions to the two other people. “You already know my stylist and make up artist, Baekhyun and Kyungsoo.”

“Sure…” Jongin says, puzzled as to why they are even there with them. Truth be told, he didn’t even remember their names and probably wouldn’t if it weren’t for Sehun.

“Yeah, well, um,” Sehun starts, looking between the two people and then back at Jongin anxiously.

“Sehun, you’re scaring me. Spill it.” Jongin says, uneasy. Even Junmyeon looks uncomfortable there. The air is tense in Vocal Room 3.

Just as Sehun is about to speak, Jongdae intervenes. “We all went to the workshop in Hawaii, 3 weeks ago. We were all there, right?”

“…Yes?” Jongin answers, not knowing where this is heading. 

“Did you attend the after party?”

Jongin would’ve been crazy not to. “I… did.”

“Were you smashed?”

“Jongdae, can’t we—” Sehun cuts in.

“No, let me.” Jongdae says firmly. He knows Sehun is the more soft-hearted one, so he probably couldn’t do the talk properly without feeling guilty. “Were you drunk, Jongin?”

Jongin looks over his shoulder, as if asking Junmyeon for help, but the guy’s only giving him a ‘answer him’ look. Unhelpful little . “I think so.”

“Do you remember hooking up with someone?”

At that, the entire room lapses into a tense silence. Jongin flushes, but continues to answer in a steady voice. “I might have. I don’t know. It was 3 weeks ago, and I was most probably smashed. Why?”

“Try to remember, Jongin.” Sehun steps in, his voice much less accusing than Jongdae’s, but still, Jongin can feel he’s being cornered. “It would be more helpful that way, for now at least.”

Staring at Sehun helplessly, Jongin really tries to dig into his memories for anything. Anything. It’s hard because he has schedules left and right and the scenes have been quite vague, almost nonexistent. If he remembers waking up with a hangover in a hotel room, it might be at Hawaii, or it might be at Tokyo, or even Manila. Nothing stands out in particular, at least none of which involves waking up with someone else on his bed. He does remember waking up because Junmyeon threw his towel at him, frustrated since Jongin’s not an easy waker, but otherwise, nothing much.

Jongin knows he’s a lightweight, so if anything happens when he’s drinking, fat chances are that he wouldn’t be able to remember it the morning after, not when he has to get ready for another schedule.

“I really don’t recall anything.” Jongin shakes his head, earning a series of sighs in the room. “What happened in Hawaii? Is there a murder or something?”

He notices the worried glances thrown his way by the two people on the couch, but Jongin’s attention is on both Jongdae and Sehun, that is until they both look over at the couch.

“Would you like to tell him?” Sehun asks. Jongin’s unsure who it’s directed to.

Then, he sees it, a nod from one of them. It’s from the smaller of the two, Sehun’s makeup artist. He stands up, his bangs obscuring his eyebrows and Jongin can barely tell how large his eyes are. He doesn’t give a lavish aura despite his job as a makeup artist, but Jongin thinks his outfit is okay.

He bows first, obviously flustered since they hardly know each other except for their jobs. They all watch him, and Jongin can tell he looks uncomfortable with all the attention. 

“We, um,” This Kyungsoo guy gestures to both of them, before clasping his hands together in a fidgeting manner. 

“I’m… I’m pregnant.”

Jongin is so, so confused, but he can’t will his heartbeat to slow down. “Okay?”

“With your child. I think.”

Jongin stares at him, long and hard, before letting out a snort. “You almost got me there. I saw that.” He then turns to Junmyeon. “Hey Junmyeon, where’s the hidden camera?”

“This isn’t a prank, Jongin.” It’s Jongdae who says this, and all blood drains from Jongin’s face.

He turns to see this Kyungsoo guy who’s fiddling with the edges of his sleeves, eyes downcast. Unconsciously, Jongin’s gaze lowers down to his clothed stomach, before looking away. He clears his throat amidst the hanging silence. “In Hawaii?”

“In Hawaii.” Kyungsoo nods a little.

“How do you know it’s me? Did you remember?” Jongin’s surprised that his voice is still steady, but the pale of his face and the erratic heartbeats in his chest say otherwise. This can’t be happening.

“I didn’t remember how we ended up having…” He trails off, but everyone understands what he’s trying to say. “But I, uh, I do remember waking up with the… pain.”

“The CCTVs showed you two entering the men’s room at the same time, but after an hour or so, only you came out of it. Kyungsoo didn’t come out until Baekhyun came in to find him.” Jongdae explains, already taking out his phone to show him, but Jongin holds out a hand to say no.

“No, wait, I refuse to see it until you can confirm that is really my child.” Jongin says firmly, pointing an accusing finger at Kyungsoo’s belly. “For all I know, he could be lying. It was 3 weeks ago, why bother telling me now?”

“It was 3 weeks ago and that is the problem! We of course can’t confirm it’s your child until we take the test, but Kyungsoo has started to show symptoms in between Sehun’s schedules.” Jongdae says.

Jongin rests a hand on his waist, biting on his lower lip as he thinks hard. This really can’t be happening. Jongin is in the peak of his career, to have knocked up a non-celebrity is going to be way too scandalous and may even ruin his image forever. No more fortune, no more fame, no more records. Just gossip, and most importantly, backlash.

“Can you…Can you let me sleep on this? I’m tired. I literally got back from the airport.” Jongin enquires, not looking at neither of them, even Kyungsoo.

Sehun hesitates before thinking it’s probably best to sit down and settle this issue with a well rested mind. “Okay, Jongin. I’ll make sure to get in contact with you, or Junmyeon.”

“Thanks.” Jongin leaves the room without a word, Junmyeon on his tail. The journey to their car is silent, and Jongin dreads having his face recorded by the fans’ cameras who are still flocking outside. They can’t know about this, Jongin thinks, they must not know. He can’t let them know, he can’t let anybody know.

No one can know about this.

A/N : Subs, comments and upvotes are very much appreciated :3 Next chap should be up in a day or two!