KIRA;

All the 2 years of dating Jongin, I never introduced him to my family nor did he. We never touched on the subject. But he always told me of his elder sisters who treated him like a baby. I could understand. He was the only boy – the youngest at that. He was loved and his sisters think of him as a fragile being. Seeing him grow from being a baby, always afraid that he would fall and scratch his knee or fall and hit his head, till he grew to become someone who can actually take care of the two sisters. I’m not surprised at the clinginess and the overprotection of his sisters. Jongin was lovable. They took care of him well enough to make him what he is today. He talks as if he loathes them, but really, how can you loathe your family? And I knew deep inside, despite being annoyed of his sisters always wanting to catch up with him and to know what was going on in his life, he loves his sisters with all his heart.

I saw his family as a perfect one, to be honest. Lovable sisters and parents that poured their love and care onto him – I felt that was perfection. Perhaps I could never feel that. Although I’m the second child – youngest – but I’ve been taking care of my elder brother, Aki, since I was able to. Why? Perhaps the reason why is also a contributing factor to why I never reveal it to Jongin. My parents are caring. They’re awesome, I tell you. But because of my Aki’s condition is why I’m somehow scared to tell Jongin about my family.

Will he still accept me? Will he still be willing to be part of the family if he knew?

He always talked about marriage. Every time he touched on that subject, I was more than happy but when I came to think of Aki, I couldn’t bear the thought of Jongin leaving because of him. I knew Jongin wasn’t that mean. I knew he was very caring. But what if…?

That night at debate demo, he came. Kai came. (I don’t know, I love both his names. I like to use them both.) He sat in the front row. I signaled him to go sit further back but he would just shake his head with a playful grin. Like a child, he was. A child that I was in love with. I gave him a text saying that he made me more nervous by sitting in front. His reply was just to look up to me and gave me a flying kiss and he made a heart shape with his arms. I covered my face with embarrassment but he laughed instead.

Before it was my turn, my hands started to get sweatier and I was breathing in and out to calm myself down. I didn’t look at Jongin at all. In fact, I almost forgot he was there. I avoided eye contact with the audience. I couldn’t bear another anxiety attack or another heart palpitation. Suddenly, I got a text message and it was from Jongin.

Look at me.

I looked up and met his eyes. He gave me the sincerest smile I have ever seen. He wrote in his notebook saying, you can do it. I couldn’t help but smile back. I whispered ‘thank you’ and he smiled back. Before I knew it, my turn was up. There goes nothing.

All throughout my speech, I avoided Kai’s eyes. I couldn’t be caught smiling back at him while I was speaking. I survived the debate. In the end, the opposition team won - which was my team. YAY! After the debate, Kai was waiting for me outside the hall. I approached him and he gave me his sweet smile.

“I can’t believe you had a lion’s roar up on stage,” he said as we started walking.

I laughed. “Gosh, it was horrible.”

“Yeah, to think again, it did sound horrible.”

I punched his arm lightly. “Shut up.”

He laughed. “So, it’s next week.”

I knew what he was talking about. I nodded. “How coincidental that they chose the flights to be of the same time,” I said sarcastically.

“Actually they planned it,” Kai explained. “It was much easier that way, according to coach. Well, look on the bright side, I get to see your nasty little face before I fly.”

I scoffed. “Hold your tongue, chocolate man. Do not argue with a debater.”

“Oh yeah. My mistake. They would only want to win. Oh my God, is it a mistake to ask you to be my girlfriend?” He said with a fake surprised face.

“I don’t like you right now, Kim Jongin!” I retorted loudly.

The people around looked at us. Kai was laughing his head off. “Well, I love you too, San Kira!” He shouted back.

We arrived at my hostel. “I’ll see you at the airport?” I said.

He nodded. “See you before we fly.”

I nodded then waved him goodbye. I walked up to my room with a stupid grin on my face. I don’t know. He just makes me happy.

On the day of our trip, we met at the airport but we pretended to not know each other. We were like that. We didn’t like to really expose ourselves. But when we do, everyone seems to notice. I don’t even know how to explain our logic. All I know is that we have mutual understandings. While we were sitting and waiting for our flights to be called, I was sitting with the debate team and on the other set of benches was where the football team sat. I was minding my own business, too lazy to entertain the other debaters. Sometimes I would steal glances at Kai and found myself smiling.

It was good to see Kai laughing and joking around with the other guys. He seemed so happy. Knowing how hostile he was in the