KAI;

I’d learned a lesson during college: don’t bother covering up something because eventually, people will know. Hide all your secrecy with all might and strength but someday, someone will tell the news and before you know it, everyone knows. Before you know it, a stranger comes up to you and says:

“Oh! You’re that tall girl’s boyfriend! She’s lucky to have you!”

Who does that?! No one in their right brain would just approach a stranger and say something about them as if you’ve known them for all your life. Unfortunately, in college, no one seems to be in their right mind. Perhaps the reasons would include heavy-duty assignments and mental lecturers that causes their brain to not be in the right place and hence, couldn’t define logic, privacy, and decency.

I didn’t want to make a big deal out of my relationship with Kira. But the people around me did, unfortunately. But I couldn’t blame anyone in the end. I almost burst at Kira. Almost blaming her and saying that she was the cause of this to happen. I was on the verge of exploding. (Actually, I did explode.) That’s when Kira gave me her first tight slap.

“Listen here, Kim Jongin. No matter how hard you try to cover this relationship, you can’t. Especially here. Especially when we’re almost always seen together. People talk. It doesn’t mean you have to put the blame on me or Hana or Nora or any of our classmates. People gossip every day and it just so happens that we’re one of the topics now. So what if people talked about us? As long as we don’t disturb anyone, we’re okay.”

That was a wakeup call for me. I’ve always tried to keep things hidden. Obviously, I failed. I tried to ignore whatever remarks were given to me about me and Kira. But I really don’t understand the girl that came up to me and said that. (Yes, the above incident happened.) I know couples around campus even though I’ve never spoken to them. By the virtue of me not knowing them, I don’t go up to them and say that they’re lucky to be with each other. There’s just no common sense and logic in it.

Since Kira was quite a hotshot in the 2nd year due to the fact that she was in the university’s debate team, everyone started talking about her everywhere I went. And everywhere I went, if someone noticed me, they’ll whisper – thinking it was too low for me to hear – about me being her boyfriend. That was the reason why I started walking around with earphones, so I could drown myself in music rather than whispers that would just burn my heart.

In 2nd year, Kira and I only had 3 classes together out of 6. That caused us to not be seen a lot with each other. In 1st year, we were inseparable. In 2nd year, people died down about the gossip of us. Perhaps, people got bored and it was verified that we were together. That gave me a sense of relief. But even until then, people were still pointing out. Thanks to Kira’s spotlight in the debate team.

I joined the football team. Due to that, Kira and I had been spending less time with each other. I joined the team because I needed to keep my head off things. I needed to be as busy as Kira or I’ll only spend my time thinking about the perfect time to see her or even talk to her. Sometimes, I visit her during her training. I didn’t visit too often. Every time she was practicing, I would watch. She said it gave her a sense of comfort to see me at the corner, looking at her with my unconscious smile. (I smile unconsciously when I see her debate. And she noticed that.) But after a few visits, her trainer asked her to tell me that I was disrupting the training. Kira was apologizing profusely when she told me that, she was nearly in tears. I figured that the trainer himself was bothered by my presence.

“I’m so sorry, Jongin. I don’t know why he’s saying like that. It’s not that you’re doing anything noisily! I m