Description: She was supposed to mean nothing. Then she slowly turned into something. Now it meant everything.

Tags: ricsyung, angst

A/N: Congratulations to 4d leader Eric Mun on his marriage. This fanfic is a work of fiction, with no intent to stir the pot. I truly wish for his happiness. That aside, I also have a very dramatic imagination. So, like, uhm…THIS happened lmfao.

…

“Why?”

It was a simple question, yet the most difficult one he’d been asked his entire life. Coated in sadness. Dripping with hurt. Stinging with anger. It meant so many things that he could only guess at, but he didn’t have to, because the pained expression on Hyesung’s face said it all.

Eric sighed, meeting his eyes as he towered over him, feeling defeated as he said nothing. They were in his apartment, but the cozy living room seemed so unfamiliar to him. They had spent so many nights here together, cuddled up on the couch, all smiles, giggles and playful kisses. Now, the black leather two-seater was the only thing that remained, everything else in the room tucked away in cardboard boxes piled everywhere.

It was no longer a sofa. It was a cold metal chair. His hands were strapped to the armrests, his feet bound to the floor by the same metal. Hyesung’s eyes scorched with rage were spotlights overhead, beating down on him as he pleaded his case. It was an electric chair. His crime? Immeasurable pain and suffering. Hyesung was his victim, judge, jury and executioner.   

Eric swallowed the large lump that formed in his throat. He felt it sink down his esophagus, tumble along his spine, and crash into the pit of his stomach. It hurt, both the question and his answer, but he had to speak it nonetheless.

“Because I love her.”

Love, what a funny word. Hyesung would laugh out loud if he could get pass the pain in his chest. Eric used that word so many times in their long history together that he lost track of the meaning.

I love Shinhwa, I love our music, our friendship. I love your voice Hyesung-ah, I love your beautiful eyes. I love being close to you, being inside of you. I love you more than anything in the world, I’ll never love anything or anyone else.

Love. Eric apparently loved this woman. He loved her company, her scent, her personality, her heart. He loved it so much that he couldn’t see his life without it.

He didn’t love Hyesung. He never truly did, or else he wouldn’t be doing this to him right now.  

Hyesung actually laughed. In spite of his heart slowly breaking. In spite of the homicidal intent growing ou of anger. In spite of the fear in Eric’s eyes. He out-right cackled. Or, maybe because of those things, he laughed twice as hard.

“So, what we had was a fling,” Hyesung chuckled with a full shrug.

Eric cast his eyes down. He would never dream of minimizing the way he felt for the ballad singer, nor disrespect the bond they’ve had since they were teenagers in such a way. He loved Hyesung, cherished Hyesung, but he had grown to love his fiancée in an entirely unexpected way that he couldn’t put in words yet felt completely in his heart.

Their relationship had to end.

“Hyesung-ah-”

“Save it,” Hyesung interrupted coldly. “I’m happy for you. I really am. I just can’t…”

Hyesung clenched his hand into a fist, his nails digging crescents into the skin. He refused to cry. Not here. Not now. He meant it when he said he was happy for his long-time friend. Truly. But the fact that he wasn’t the one who could provide that wounded him. It cut so deep, and the blood burst from within, seeping through his veins, filling his entire pain that made him want to scream.

But he didn’t. Instead he smiled and reached forward, making Eric flinch when he lightly patted his shoulder.

“Congratulations,” Hyesung said in a soft voice, and before Eric could respond, turned around and walked away.

Eric huffed as tears welled in his eyes, burning as they pushed over the rim and tumbled down his cheeks. He was stunned, shaking, regretting.

That smile was the cruelest thing Hyesung could have done.

Eric wished so bad that Hyesung hit him instead. That he used him as a punching bag and threw every curse word in the dictionary at him. That in Hyesung’s hysteria, he would realize that he made the wrong decision.

But instead he smiled, wished him well, and left him to sit with the decision. To spend the last night in his apartment alone, hurting, regretting. Knowing that the wedding was two months away, and that the slam of the door as Hyesung left was the last intimate moment they would ever share.