Description: In which Taemin almost dies, and only one thing can save him

Tags: Jongtae, angst

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Taemin sits at the center of a room, completely surrounded by darkness. It had always been small and there was never an exit. He felt claustrophobic just thinking about it.

He knows he can’t escape.

So, he just cradles his knees to his chest, rocking back and forth, waiting to wake up from the familiar nightmare. His own erratic breathing is the only sound filling the space, which echoes with every exhale.

No light penetrates the dark space, which seems to shrink with every unsteady inhale. His heart pounds through his throat and the passage of oxygen is further closed off, making him feel nauseous. His shirt clings to him, dampened by the sheen of sweat coating his skin.  

Suddenly, everything intensifies. His breath pushes out of his lungs, labored and wrecked as his heartbeat fills his ears. His clothes blend with his flesh, drenched like the fringe stuck to his forehead. The room is shrinking by the second. A wall presses into his back as another press at his toes. He wants to shout for help, but all he can do is sob as walls squeeze his legs and back and now his arms together, crushing him on all sides.  

Taemin screams. His words are incoherent. He knows it’s all in his head, but he feels his organs bunched up in his stomach and the pain of his breaking bones. Just when he feels like he’s about to die a bloody pulp between the walls of the dark room, a sharp streak of light bursts through the ceiling. Taemin’s head falls back, and his body aches all over, but the light is blinding and is taking away the pain. Then he hears it, a familiar voice that heals his crushed body and fills him with warmth as the pain fades away.

Still, Taemin feels like he’s about to die. A painless and peaceful death, but death nonetheless. He accepts it this time. Lets his body and his will go all in one calm exhale. Allows what remains of the space to be filled by the soft and hazy light. His eyes flutter closed, and just before he slips away he is shaken, and all of a sudden, he awakens, coming face to face with his savior.

He breathes for what feels like the first time, his heart thumping steadily in his chest, his mind hazy but his eyes fixing on his source of stability. He feels overwhelmed with relief, warmth and love. He reaches his sweaty palms out to touch cheeks that flush pink on contact. Taemin smiles weakly, his eyes watered with burning tears and his entire being filled to the brim with love for the man smiling back. And with one word, Taemin knows that he’s fine again. That he’s out of that room. That every time it threatens to kill him, he will live.

And in one breath, with one word, he expresses everything he’s feeling and that understanding is the greatest thing that life could ever give him.

“Jonghyun”