[Hospital]

"Mrs kim?" The doctor called out, automatically made you flew from your seat to him. Your face was pale, worried about taehyung.  

You saw the doctor hesitating for a second, before he carved a timid smile, "hes doing... fine. But it might take a while for him to wake up." The doctor then just left without further explaining taehyung's condition, making you confused.    

You wasted no time barging into his room, claiming your place beside him. Your heart twisted at the thought of the bright taehyung being unconcious. All the machines by his side were telling you that he wasnt fine. It was as if they were telling you that his time was almost up.

You havent loved him yet. You realized as you pulled your hand away, covering your mouth as you sobbed. Your heart was filled with guilt. 

Your fingers slowly touched his hair as you looked at his chapped lips slightly open with tubes up his nose, adding up the nausea you were having. "Taehyung..." Your voice cracked as you were at the verge of crying. 

Your other hand grabbed his hand that was by his side, paler than your heart. "Im sorry." You sobbed as you closed your eyes, letting the tears fall from your eyes. 

[v's pov ]

It was afternoon, less than 24 hours since i collapsed. Seems like my sickness couldnt be hidden anymore. 

I sighed as i watched mirae asleep. Her calm face was all that i wished to look at, a face that always made me forget i was even sick. Perhaps, it was also a reason i forgot to take my pill before the dinner last night. I was too excited to spend my time with her as yesterday i was busy with my work the whole day.

The sudden loud beep from the machine beside me stirred her awake as the nurses were alerted from outside of my room. 

"Taehyung?" Her croaked voice was muted as the nurses barged into my room, "Mrs kim, im sorry but you need to leave the room." 

The beep got louder as my heavy lids watched her being dragged away from me, looking confused as she just got up from a long sleep. "Mirae." I called out before the nurses put a mask on me, worried that it might be the last time i could do so.

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I bared myself to open my eyelids, sensing presence in the room. Mirae. 

I tried steadying my breath, my throat dry from the long sleep. "J-jagi." I pulled the mask away from me, only to have it back on me. Her extra warm hand held mine, halting my move. I saw her hesitate to say something, as if the words she wanted to tell could hurt me more. "Dont. You need to have it on." Her soft voice said, toneless. 

Whats wrong? I observed her face, realizing how wet and red her eyes were. How long have i been asleep?

"W-water." I croaked out, holding out my hand. She didn't hesitate as she helped me to drink. 

"How long  has it been?" I asked slowly, my throat still hurting as i watched her reaction. 

"A week." Her voice quivered as she tried to smile. I saw her eyes changed as she inhaled the look of my face. She stayed looking at me for a few seconds before she sighed and got up, giving attention to the flowers near me. 

I watched her back, inhaling a breath as i realized that it was time. 

"Mirae." I called again, only gaining a hum as a reply. Just then i realized, i never deserved her. 

"Im sorry." My eyes automatically watered as i found it hard to talk. I tried to keep calm as i didnt want any of the machines to call the nurses out of my irregular heatbeat. 

She spun on her heels, looking worried. "Why?" She wanted to cry, i could see it. 

I carved a small smile, "come here." I said as i nod to the chair beside my bed. I was ready and i couldnt wait anymore. My lifetime was getting shorter. 

As she sat down, i tried to reach for her hand. "I want you to listen carefully, okay?" 

She just nod vigorously, holding her tears. "Do you remember when it was freshmen year?" She just nod, editing her grip on my hand. 

I sighed, "it was almost 7 years ago, and i still remember how you looked like on the registration day." I saw her going stiff, probably taken aback from my random words. 

I chuckled lightly, recalling the memory of when i first saw her, "you were in such a rush that you were trying to wear your blazer and your bag while tying your tie altogether that you bumped into me." 

"You couldnt stop muttering oh my god and how you were so sorry. I dont know what was wrong with me but the way you rant on how you were late made my whole world stop." 

I couldnt hide the glint in my eyes, "the way you talked rapidly as you bowed several times stole my attention." 

I chuckled as the images flashed clearly in my head, "i must be crazy. I couldnt stop watching you until you disappeared from my sight. The scene of you looking so panic over bumping into me couldnt stop replaying in my head." 

"Your rounded eyes as you looked at me in horror, your thin pouty lips as you were apologizing. I couldnt forget it." I smiled, slowly turning into a frown as i recalled the scenes of her with jimin after 2 weeks since the freshman year started. 

"But after two weeks, i saw you. With him." I looked at her, watching how she hung her head low, looking at my bed. She knew this was coming. I let her be, watching her pupils quiver. 

I smirked as i pulled my hand out of her grasp, reaching for her face as a tear fell from my eye, "i lost my sense, mirae. I couldnt keep it in. I was mad when i saw how happy you were with him." My throat clogged up as i watched her ball her fists, her eyes closed as tears streamed down her face, reaching her clamped mouth. 

"Mirae. Why didnt you leave me?" I said, in the most audible volume i could manage. 

She held onto my hand that was cupping her face, "i cant." 

"Why?" A tear streamed my face, knowing the answer myself. 

"I love you, taehyung. I cant leave you." She sobbed as she let out the words i was dying to hear. But i know better.

My heart crashed as i shook my head softly, "i know you dont, mirae. You never loved me." 

She hiccuped at my reply, stunned. I knew how hard she tried to love me back, but it never worked. And it never will. 

"You accepted me out of guilt, mirae. I know." She bit her lip as she shook her head in denial, tears streaming her pretty face.

I caressed her head, telling her that its fine, "dont worry, i was grateful. Thank you. For being my wife." My voice cracked, thinking how she will be back to single in a short while. Im dying, i kept telling myself. 

"Mirae." I called out after she calmed down for a bit, preparing myself to tell her the rest of my story. I need to fess up. 

She raised an eyebrow, tired to talk. 

I looked away, hating myself. "That was my thank you. Im telling you why im sorry now."

She just nod as i sighed, "have you ever realized that jimin was avoiding you after he lost his weight?" I watched her jaw tightened as she gulped. 

"It was me. I made him stay away from you." Her eyes were pooling again, making me avoid her eyes. My heart couldnt take it. 

"Why? What did he ever do to you?" My heart grew cold at her question, making me realize how stupid i was. She still love him unconditionally. I need to finish whatever i started, i thought to myself. 

My fist balled, "i couldnt take it. I wanted to be the one to make you smile. The one to make you laugh. The one to love you. The only one to be by your side." The machine beside me started to show a warning as my heart was beating too fast. I was angry. 

I inhaled a deep breath, "i love you so much, mirae. I was insane. I couldnt comprehend knowing such poor guy was the one you chose. Everyday, i would go mad asking myself what does he have that i dont." My cheeks were warm from my tears. 

I gulped as i pulled the mask off my face, forcing the words out of my mouth, "his dad was my dad's worker. I found out about it, and i looked up about him." The guilt was kicking in. I recalled the moments i called him to meet up, the spite i had for him was too much. I felt stupid. 

"I knew about his mom. I found out about him wanting to pursue his dream of being a doctor." I gulped, "so i told him what i had in my mind." 

I took a breath, "i called him out on the day you wanted to go out with him. I told him that i could help with his mom's health while he goes to study medicine." 

I looked at her, "i sent him to study abroad, that was why you couldnt see him after the party." 

She was speechless, hardly digesting whatever i told her. 

"He cheated on me, didnt he?" She asked, much like knowing the answer herself. 

I tiredly shook my head, "He never did, mirae. You know that the best." She closed her eyes as tears flowed harshly from her eyes. I knew i hurt her. 

"You told him to do it? You told him to say those words to me?" She asked as she sobbed with closed eyes. It must be hard to look at me now. I involuntarily smiled out of hurt and guilt, "yes, i was the one who told him. I plotted everything until now, mirae. "

"I was going crazy at the thought of losing you to him. I wanted to make sure that you will be mine. And only mine. " My eyes were hot with tears that i couldnt keep my eyes open. 

"But now that i learned, he has everything that i dont."

 I locked my eyes to hers, "he has your heart, mirae." The machine beside me was causing a ruckus as my heart was beating irregularly, calling the nurses.

Her panicked face softened my heart as my wet eyes were slowly closing, "hate me all you want, mirae. You dont have to accept my apology. Im sorry." My whole system shut down as i exhaled the last word, only faded images of mirae in her school uniform told me i was still alive. 

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[Author's pov]

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