LISTEN TO THIS SONG WHILE READING <3

Kwangmin fluttered his eyes open. And there he was... lying in a hospital bed with Youngmin sitting asleep on a chair beside his bed.

He wondered why he was there in the hospital, but all he could remember was when Youngmin was carrying him and he hugged him, as tight as he could. Then he fell asleep.

"Why am I here?" he managed to whisper as he looked around and when he tried to sit up, Youngmin grabbed his arm.

"Stay." Youngmin said.

"Hyung..." Kwangmin looked at him, "You're awake." Youngmin only nodded, holding back his tears as he held a grip on Kwangmin's arm. He was sad, worried and mad at the same time because Kwangmin never said a thing about his illness.

Youngmin couldn't take it anymore, he just suddenly cried and hugged Kwangmin.

"Hyung?" Kwangmin asked, confused.

"Why..."

His tone... His sobs... His question... Kwangmin knew then that Youngmin knows. He stiffed, suddenly his whole body trembled. He was afraid that Youngmin knows. He was scared; he didn't know what to say or what to do.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Youngmin's voice was hoarse; he was sobbing like a crybaby. Kwangmin welled up as he clenched his fist harder.

"If you told me earlier... If only you told me earlier, but you didn't. You kept it to yourself...Why?"

"KWANGMIN-AH!"

They heard the door slammed, and when Kwangmin turned around... He realized it was just a dream.

Yes, he woke up in a hospital bed. His head was still hurting a bit and he felt his arm heavy. He turned to check his arm, only to see Youngmin sleeping while holding and hugging his arm.

He doesn't know... Kwangmin thought and sighed. Youngmin quickly opened his eyes, still half-sleepy and when he saw Kwangmin awake and smiley, he quickly flashed a wry smile with his eyes tearing up.

"Why... Why am I here? Hyung?" Kwangmin asked, stuttering.

"Uhh--- You had a fever." Youngmin replied. But that wasn't really the only reason. He was worried to death, especially after knowing about Kwangmin's condition. He was the one who called the ambulance to come, he was the one who carried Kwangmin inside the ambulance and held his hand as he slept. When they got into the hospital, there, he was told about Kwangmin's leukemia. He doesn't like hearing it, and he knew deep inside, Kwangmin doesn't want him to know.

So, he's keeping it a secret from him.

I shouldn't let him know that I know... Youngmin thought and hugged Kwangmin warmly.

Kwangmin smiled.

"But now you're okay," Youngmin said. "Thank God."

"Hyung..."

Youngmin pulled away from his hug and looked straight into Kwangmin's eyes.

"Hum?" he asked.

"Can you forgive and forget?" Kwangmin suddenly asked.

"Ye---Yes..." Youngmin replied and lowered his eyes. Tears rolled down his cheeks, and Kwangmin wiped them with his soft pale hands.

"Why are you crying?"

And with that question, Youngmin cried more.

"Hyung, what's wrong?" Kwangmin tried to calm Youngmin by tapping his back, leaning forward to hug him and again tapping his back with his hand. "Hyung..." He wanted to ask why he was crying... But he was scared.

Because he had that dream... He was scared.

"I...I love you." Youngmin said.

No, you can't. Not now. Kwangmin said on his mind as he quickly stopped hugging Youngmin.

"Hyung..."

"I love you, okay? I can't live without you," Youngmin held Kwangmin cold hands. "I want to stop lying to myself. I kept lying that I don’t love you anymore but the truth is, I still love you more than a brother. I love you..."

Kwangmin moved his hand away. Gentle, but rush.

"Kwangmin-ah...Don't you---" 

"I as