"I've got a surprise for you." Bona grinned, as she let herself in the dressing room, waving the envelope on her hands. 

"What would that be?" Cheng Xiao looked at her through the mirror, taking care not to move her head and ruin the hairstylist's work. 

"I just met up with Xuan Yi and she gave me..." Bona opened the envelope with a proud grin. She walked to Cheng Xiao's side, so she could take a look at the photos in her hands. "This." 

"The jeans campaign!" Cheng Xiao extended her arms and Bona handed her the final images. 

"What do you think?" 

"They look great!" She said as she merrily flipped through the papers. She stopped at one and paid special attention to it. Then, she lifted it up for Bona to look at, a wide smile on her lips. "Don't we just look so cute together?" 

Bona stared at the picture in which Cheng Xiao had her arms around Jackson's neck and their eyes fixated each other's lips. 

"Of course you do." Bona swallowed. "Xuan Yi always does a great job in photoshoots, but the real magic comes in post-production. I've been watching her work through the whole process, you know, and her skills really made the pictures stand out." 

"Oh. You've been spending a lot of time with Xuan Yi, then." 

"I have, actually. It's been great." Bona said, inflating her chest. 

"I'm happy to hear that. Seems like we're both doing well in that front." Cheng Xiao smirked. 

"How's that?"  

"Jackson asked me to be his date at the rap music awards he's been invited to MC on Saturday." She squealed, jumping in her seat, earning a glare from the hair stylist. 

"That's awesome, right?" Bona stretched the corners of . "When did that happen?" 

"A few days ago." 

"Oh." Bona attempted to hide her discomfort. "Well, Jennie, seems like you're booked for Saturday." 

"Sure I am." Jennie answered, a hairpin between her teeth. "I've already given Xiao Xiao a few hair references and she promised she'd choose her favorite ASAP. I've also seen some ideas Jisoo has for the dress, but that's going to be a surprise." 

Bona blinked and widened her eyes.  

"So you knew about this already? And so did Jisoo? For how long?" 

"Since yesterday."  

"Okay, and why didn't I, then? I'm the manager. I'm supposed to decide and organize her schedule and instead I am being informed of it. Why didn't the awards invitation reach me before anyone else?" 

"Jackson asked his manager first and he went straight to my parents. He thought it was best, to avoid misunderstandings of unauthorized dating. They approved it on the spot." Cheng Xiao defended. 

"And after that, it should have reached me before the rest of the team. I just heard about it by sheer coincidence." Bona knew she was one inch away from throwing an outright tantrum, but she vowed that professionalism should always win over anger. 

"I'm sorry, Bona, there must have been a mistake. Someone should have told you about it, but it wasn't exactly my responsibility." Cheng Xiao said, looking unconcerned. 

Bona's chin dropped as her fingers started to tremble and heat invaded her face. 

"It wasn't your responsibility?!" She said, the volume of her voice raising considerably. "Since when do you need responsibility to tell me about things? How about you tell me because we're friends?" 

Cheng Xiao raised her eyes to meet hers through the mirror, then abruptly turned her chair, startling Jennie. Her gaze was stone cold, her delicate features contorted. 

"Seriously?! Is that where this is going?" She scoffed. "Well, I thought we weren't supposed to be friends anymore." 

Bona's gaze shifted to Jennie, who was listening in on everything with apparent concern on her face. 

"Do you guys uh... need a moment?" She asked. 

"No, Jennie. I'll go get some fresh air." Bona glared at Cheng Xiao one last time, as long as she could before her tear ducts gave in to her feelings. Not that long at all. 

The next moment, she was storming out the door, thanking heavens the back door was right next to the dressing room and she was unlikely to have any unfortunate and possibly embarrassing meetings with people on the way. Outside, she leaned against the wall and let her body curl over itself, until she was a shaking and weeping ball on the floor.  

She was coming to terms with the confirmation of what she'd suspected, but hoped to keep ignoring and denying. But the truth was, whatever she and Cheng Xiao shared had been ruined since she decided to have that conversation. 

From the moment they both left that makeshift meeting room, Cheng Xiao had changed.  

The hug before she left had been the last she'd ever asked for. She had never even held her hand or her arm again.  

She'd been withdrawing more and more. People watching from the outside would not notice the difference if they failed to look closely. But both girls knew. Their conversations had become devoid of any meaning or intimacy. She'd even stopped trusting her with personal matters, to a point that today, it even interfered with professional matters. 

She was, once again, Cheng Xiao, the actress. And every single time Bona had to fake a smile and play along Cheng Xiao's acting, she was left more broken and disappointed. 

To distract herself, Bona tried focusing on Xuan Yi, as she always did, but what was the point? Who was she trying to fool? Her encounters with the photographer had only become increasingly dull and unfulfilling over time. Instead, she found herself constantly exaggerating her relationship success to Cheng Xiao, in some foolish hope of provoking a reaction in her. In the end, it always backfired, resulting in Cheng Xiao being politely encouraging and obliviously mentioning her own love interest. 

In spite of everything, Bona didn't try to do anything to fix it. After all, it was what she'd put her mind to. It was the right thing to do. What she'd foolishly believed she was ready to handle, and what she was sure would make it easier to forget her feelings towards Cheng Xiao. 

How stupid of her to have ever thought that not having her at all would be less painful than having nothing more than her friendship. 

"Bona?" A voice sounded as the back door opened. "I knew I'd find you here." 

Bona peeked through the corner of her eye, taking care not to reveal the mess in her face.  

"Can I keep you company?" Jennie asked as she leaned against the wall and lit up a cigarette. 

Bona only wished to be alone, but Jennie had already started smoking, so she was clearly only willing to take one answer. Bona simply nodded. 

Jennie's presence encouraged her to force her sobbing to stop so she wouldn't further embarrass herself.  

"I'm sorry you had to see this." Bona broke the silence that had installed itself. "Can I ask you not to tell anyone what happened?" 

"You think I came here to blackmail you, or something?" Jennie chuckled. "Don't worry, I don't have any interest in gossiping. That was pretty intense, though." 

"You mean pretty embarrassing. I completely lost my mind." 

"Aren't we all a little crazy?" She winked. "This industry is messed up, anyway. It's surprising so many of us are sane most of the time."  

Bona gave a hint of a smile, genuinely thankful for Jennie's unique forms of comfort, which were surprisingly helpful.  

"Anyway, I have no idea what happened between you two, but it's clearly doing a dent on the way you're doing your jobs." Jennie advised. "It's probably best for you to put your differences aside and start working together again, or it's going to start showing. Today, I was the witness, but some other time, it might be someone who's got the power to screw you over and actually gives a crap about making that happen." 

"If that happens, I'm the one who's being replaced. Cheng Xiao will just have a new manager that gets along with her better than I do. Not so tragic, is it?" Bona said, feeling almost sick over considering the possibility of what she'd just said. 

"Maybe. But If you ask me, I don't think Xiao would be happy with losing you as her manager. Contrary to what you might be thinking right now. I was there to see her after you left... Didn't even try to pretend she was fine, which is unusual for her, as you know." Jennie put out her cigarette and threw it on the ashtray. "I've been doing her hair since I was out of cosmetology school. Over time, I've come to understand that sometimes she needs to act the way she does because she was practically born into an industry that doesn't allow her to show any weakness." 

What Jennie was saying was anything but news. Which only made her that much guiltier of asking Cheng Xiao for distance, especially after she opened up about never having had a chance at a friendship like theirs. When she was a girl who had never known anything but the stress and pressure of her industry.  

Bona had abandoned someone who needed her to be her friend, all because they couldn't be more than that. She loved her, and yet she had been stupidly selfish. 

"Hey..." Jennie interrupted Bona while she thought to herself. "I hate to be a drag, but in the end, I'd have to come here anyway since you need to approve the final look for the show. So if you're feeling better, maybe I can take you to wash your face and we'll get going?"  

She extended Bona a hand, and the manager finally made eye contact with her. 

"I'll take that. Thank you, Jennie." Bona took Jennie's hand and stood up, following her.  

Today, they were shooting away from the agency, so without Xuan Yi or Luda around her, Bona thought herself to be alone to deal with everything. It was a surprise to find a supportive shoulder in Jennie, who had always shown herself so quiet and reserved. 

Having straightened herself, Bona headed back to the dressing room in Jennie's company. As they entered, Cheng Xiao seemed to have jumped in her chair, frantically wiping her slightly puffy face. Soon enough, she had the nonchalant, yet stern look on her face again. 

Accustomed to the process, Cheng Xiao stood up straight and let Bona examine her, but kept her gaze averted, directed at the ground. This time, she'd be one of the celebrity guests in a cooking show to demonstrate a recipe for a traditional Chinese dish, so she wore her hair tied back in a sweet, curly, low ponytail, a flowy flower-patterned dress, and slightly heeled boots. 

"Okay, good." Bona said coldly. Usually, she would have said something like 'My Xiao Xiao is so pretty!'  while squeezing her cheeks. 

"Awesome." Jennie showed a thumbs up and started putting away some of her utensils. "I'm going to look for Jisoo to see if she wants to grab a bite. They say there's still time until it's Xiao's turn." 

The hairstylist nodded at Bona before closing the door, making the meaning of her message clear. 

Bona wanted to make things right. But instead, she sat by the farthest corner of the dressing room, turned to the mirror herself, while they actively ignored each other by staying on their phones. The manager stole a few glances, but Cheng Xiao's eyes were glued to the tiny screen.  

Did she lack the courage? Was pride holding her down? Or was it a slither of hope that Cheng Xiao would initiate the conversation just this once? 

Seconds of silence felt like years. The words blocked at begged her to come out, tightening her chest and stopping her breath. She only wished she could fast forward to a time when they were okay again. Then again, what if Cheng Xiao said things were never going to be the same even after she apologized? 

Suddenly, a loud crack echoed from outside the room, and in the next second, it went completely dark except for the faint lights of their smartphones.  

Bona jumped in her seat, accidentally dragging her chair across the floor with her. As if the situation couldn't possibly become more uncomfortable.  

A few seconds later, a staff member holding his phone flashlight came to warn about some sort of short circuit or power failure that they were actively looking into fixing. Meanwhile, everyone should try to stay put as much as possible, to prevent any further accidents, and turn on their own phone flashlights. They did as they were instructed, but it was still one of the worst news Bona could have heard. 

Bona kept mindlessly scrolling through her phone, trying to focus as much of her attention as possible on it. But whatever she'd been looking at for the past few minutes had not been processed by her brain, which was way too overwhelmed by the situation. 

"B-Bona..." Cheng Xiao spoke, barely louder than a whisper. 

"Hm?" She answered, stiffening with the chill the voice sent through her spine. 

"Are you alright? You're hyperventilating and you've been tapping your foot on the ground." 

Had she? She hadn't taken notice of her body at all. What was she supposed to say now?  

"Hey..." Cheng Xiao set down her phone with the flashlight up and turned to her. "I'm sorry about what I said. I didn't mean it. Well, it's not that I didn't mean it, I just didn't mean to say it like I did. Can we talk about this?" 

"I don't think this is the right time. Can we do this later?" Bona said between the heavy breaths and foot tapping. 

"Why? What else is wrong?" 

Bona still couldn't muster up an answer. 

"Was it the power outage? Did it startle you?" Cheng Xiao said, with the same caring voice she'd come to know and miss so much lately. 

"No. Not exactly." 

"Then what?" Cheng Xiao demanded, and lacking an answer, thought for a bit. "Bona, are you by any chance... afraid of the dark?" 

At that moment, ironically, Bona wished it was completely dark so Cheng Xiao didn't see the look of terror on her face. 

"No, that's not it. How silly it would be for a person my age to be afraid of the dark, right?" 

Cheng Xiao stood up from her chair and walked to her, making her that much more panicked. She laid a hand on her shoulder, the first time she'd touched her affectively in weeks. 

"It's not silly at all." Cheng Xiao wrapped her arms around her chest from behind and rested her face close to hers on her shoulder.  

Contrary to usual, her touch didn't make her feel jittery and nervous. Bona glanced at the mirror to find a dark, faint, almost unrecognizable reflection of them both, a portrait that felt perfect and dreamlike. For this moment, she would let herself indulge. She raised her hands to hold on to the girl's arms and closed her eyes for a second. She'd come to notice her breathing actually slowed down. 

"When I was 5, some guy broke into our house, knowing who it belonged to, intending to take me for a ransom. I was sleeping and it was well, dark. He took me and carried me off my bed, but I thought it was my dad. When he was reaching for the handle by the front door, the lights turned on and I found out I was in the arms of a stranger. Thankfully, it was my dad who had woken up and he got to call the police in time. But I was so scared back then..." Bona huffed deeply. "I've been extremely uncomfortable in the dark ever since." 

"That's terrible, Bona." Cheng Xiao squeezed her harder. "Just how in the world did you think I was going to find that silly?" 

"Because I think it is. I've never told anyone before." 

"When you spent the night in my room, I'd noticed you set your phone screen to never black out. I never even thought it could be because of something like that." 

"Yeah... Did that bother you?" 

"No, not at all. I have an ability to sleep under any sort of conditions. It's a skill you can't help but acquiring when you have a celebrity's schedule" Both girls chuckled. "Will it make you feel better if I tell you a silly fear of mine, too?" 

"Does the Cheng Xiao actually have any fears?"  

"You bet I do!" Uncomfortable from bending over, Cheng Xiao spun to sit at the makeup table, making sure to grab one of Bona's hands along the way. "So, do you want to hear it?" 

Bona nodded. Cheng Xiao shifted her gaze to the side, even knowing she could barely be seen. 

"Abandonment." 

Bona stared at her with her lips slightly parted, at a loss for words. She expected her to say something actually silly and lighthearted, but instead...  

Thankfully, she didn't have to say anything as Cheng Xiao continued. 

"I've been doing this job since I was five, which means that virtually everyone I know is tied to the industry. The few friends I have, I can only maintain them because we're all working together in a way. Even my own parents, which I barely see outside of work because they're always working or traveling and never even come home." She paused. "Sometimes I find myself thinking... If everyone I know is in this industry, if I ever decide to leave the industry or stop being a celebrity... who will I have left?" 

Bona wanted desperately to tell her that she would always be there for her. But she didn't have the nerve to, when she was well aware that what she'd said and done before went against that in every possible way. 

"I thought you could be that person for me, so it took me off guard when you said you preferred to keep it professional. I thought you felt the same way until then. I was hurt and disappointed, but I have no right to demand something of you and resent you if you don't feel the way I want you to." 

Bona shot off her seat and launched herself at Cheng Xiao, wrapping her arms around her. 

"Xiao Xiao... can I ask you to forget everything I said that day? I didn't think it through. I miss you. I miss being your... friend." She said, burying her face in her neck, fighting back tears. She already knew she'd hurt her feelings, but hearing it from her made it real and unbearable. 

"Will you promise you won't push me away again?" Cheng Xiao answered, her own arms going around the manager's back. 

Bona's heart melted with the melodic sweetness of her voice, a voice that bared her true feelings. She raised her head to face the few lines of Cheng Xiao's face that she could recognize and rested her hands on her cheeks. 

"As long as you want me here, I promise. I promise I'll do whatever I can so that you're not scared of being alone again." 

"If that's so, I promise I will do my best for you not to be so scared of the dark anymore." The girl chuckled. 

"It's not so scary right now because you're here." Bona her soft, plump cheeks. "As long as we have each other, there's no need to be afraid of anything... right?" 

"Right." Cheng Xiao answered, a whisper that grazed Bona's lips. 

This time, Bona wasn't scared. She didn't panic, she didn't think of the right or wrong. When their lips touched, nothing about it felt anything less than right.  

This time, she let her own lips move against hers, she let her hands touch her silky hair and tuck it behind her ear, she let her every hidden feeling flow through that kiss, even though the fantasy of saying them out loud was way out of reach. The world outside that dark dressing room didn't exist. Maybe because it was dark, it was easier for her to be purposefully blind to any consequences that they could come to face. 

What mattered now was that in one way or another, Cheng Xiao was back, and she wasn't going to be stupid enough to hurt her like that again. 

As their lips broke apart, they let their foreheads rest against each others', a familiar comfort washing over the both of them for a few minutes, until the lights came back on without warning. 

Adjusting to the light, they met each other's eyes, not a hint of shame or regret in them. 

The shooting obviously ran late with the technical problems – even though they hadn't turn out that unpleasant in Bona's perspective. But when the schedule was finally over, both girls already begged for a long rest - and Bona was especially looking forward for said rest, given that Cheng Xiao had invited her to stay over and things were even better than before. 

Unfortunately, as soon as they stepped into the car and Bona was ready to start driving, her phone rang. 

"Bona, dear?" The slow, high-pitched voice of Cheng Xiao's mother. "I'm aware the cooking show shooting ran a bit late, but if it's not too much of a hassle, will you two mind stopping by the agency before going home for a quick meeting? It's urgent." 

She stopped breathing, as did her heart. Only one thought ran through her mind. 

They found out. They know. It's over. 

---

A/N: Hope you've all been doing well! Now that the holidays are finally over, I'll be looking to return to regular updates. What do you think the meeting will be about? I hope the pause didn't discourage you to keep following this story. Thank you for your support :)