- 018 -

Jisoo remembered professor Hong once said on her Psychology class at the first year, that anger was a natural defence against pain. When someone said 'I hate you', what they really meant was 'you hurt me'. It was the only thing that remained in her mind as the whole mess just struck her like a thunderstorm that evening. Did she hurt someone? Had she done something wrong? Because the pictures in Yeonseok hands were full of hatred, the impression they wanted to show, they were like telling everyone that she deserved punishment for all the things she did.

Perhaps the worst of all the things that happened today was, guilt that engulfed her like a cyclone in a storm knowing that she had hurt him. He didn't need to say it, everything was visible from the look in his eyes. His eyes were red and brimmed with tears for holding an overflow anger, but he said nothing. And that made it much worse.

Jisoo hoped he would yell at her, verbally threw out all his indignation as Sehun once did. That would be better than the look of disappointment he threw on her. It was a brief conversation, but when Yeonseok left the house without saying much, she knew she had screwed things up big time. There were no words of consolation, no kiss goodbye like he always did when he stepped out of the house, no reassuring squeeze on her hand; he just left. 

But who was she to expect Yeonseok to act like nothing happened when she created all this mess? She was so ashamed of herself to cause too much troubles and keep hurting people she cared of. First it was Sehun, and now Yeonseok. 

She sobbed on her hands, because it was the only thing she could do at the time. She let all the mixed feelings vanished with tears, until it seemed that for how long she huddled by the couch, she then wiped away her tears. The first thing she did was fishing out her phone from her bag, ignoring the chat notification and social media application that kept ringing, then pressing Sehun's number from the dial pad.

Did he do all this? If so, why did he do it? What for? Was he so aggrieved that he had to drag Yeonseok into all this mess? And she was ready to shower him with a million questions when she thought Sehun picked up the phone, only to find that it was Sehun's short greetings to leave a message. She tried to call him once again, then again and again, and still got the same answer. He had turned his phone off.

If Sehun did it, he should have had a reason. But it was very difficult for Jisoo to believe it, Sehun whom she knew, even though for several months he had acted like someone who was really different than he used to, would not do something like this. But if he didn't, why did he turn off his phone?

Desperately, Jisoo looked for Jongin's number on her phonebook and rang him once she found it. Jongin took a while to pick up the phone, Jisoo called him twice until finally he picked it up.

"Hello?" his voice was hoarse, sounding like someone who just woke up from a deep sleep, but Jisoo didn't care less. If she couldn't reached Sehun, the one person who usually became his great escape was Jongin. He must know where Sehun was, so that's what she asked him.

"Where's Sehun?"

Jisoo didn't know what impression Jongin caught from her voice, because from the background sound it seemed like Jongin immediately woke up and somewhat surprised.

"Jisoo? Are you okay?" he asked in a worried voice.

"Where's Sehun?" Jisoo asked again in the same tone as before.

"I don't, wait, are you okay? Did something happen?"

Vexed, for Jongin not answering the question, she snapped at him. "Just tell me where Sehun is! Don't you try to lie to me, I know he always runs to you every time."

"I don't know, okay? The last time I met him was yesterday, he hasn't called me today. What's..." Without waiting for Jongin to finish his words, Jisoo cut the line. If he couldn't give her the answer she demanded so there's no use of listening to him anymore.

She opened the chat application then scrolled down the conversation history. Lots of people sent her messages privately, her study group also did not stop chatting. Sensing that it was nothing important, she passed them and opened Jongdae's message. His cousin had called her several times, and sent her two messages when she didn't pick up the phone.

"Are you okay? I just saw the pictures, it's on Gossip Girls." was his first message about half an hour ago. Then she read his second message ten minutes ago.

"Are you home? Do you need me there? Call me when you read this."

And Jisoo was just about to reply to the message when she saw the 'Jongdae is typing a message' sign at the bottom of his name, bringing up a new message.

"Whatever comes to your mailbox, don't open it."

The phone vibrated at the same time, showing notification of a new message. Although Jongdae said not to open it, Jisoo subconsciously pressed the exit sign and opened the new message. She read a sentence followed by two videos sent in it.

"The cheater and the adulterer."

Jisoo had no idea what had moved her hand, but she immediately played the first video even though her heart refused to do so. And Jisoo really couldn't believe what she saw, she put her hand in staring at the video someone had taken when she met Sehun the night before the wedding. It started when she approached him, and he stepped to stand under her umbrella. The conversation in it didn't sound clear, maybe because of the drizzle that started to pour down, but people might be able to hear a little better by using earphones, she guessed, and it continued when Sehun dared her for her confession. She could hear her words clearly when she called out her love for him, then when he kissed her, and she kissed him back. 

And it stopped there, just right before she pushed him away.

What the hell was that?

It was the only thing that came to her mind. Who really had the heart to do all this? She remembered how genuine Sehun was that night. He was crying, he pledged his love and she just knew it wasn't for a show. Then who did this? Who else knew that they would meet that night?

Still not finished the questions line up demanding for answers, her finger had moved to play the second video. At first she didn't really understand what she was watching, because the video showed a scene from---she guessed again---the bedside table and she could only see someone's leg. No, scatch that, it was two people entangling their legs. But then she came to realize what it was when they were moving on the bed in a constant motion, and when Sehun's face came into view, and the sound of their moans was audible to her sense, she dropped her phone instantly. 

She blocked her ears with her hands and ran into her room, curling up the side of the bed and burrying her face on the folded blanket drapped of its edge. As if today wasn't enough to kick her on the face, that last video was the perfect finale to her humiliation. 

Nobody knew how long Jisoo sat by the bed. Her head tilted against the mattress, her eyes blankly stared at the headboard. It seemed like it's already morning, because sunlight replaced the dim light of the bedroom from last night.

She didn't move even though her body felt stiff, the carpet on her feet was cold even though the room heater was in a warm temperature. She couldn't think, her head was too dizzy to even find out what time it was. Where Yeonseok was currently was the only thing she had in mind.

When it seemed like almost thousand years of waiting, she heard a sound from the front door. Jisoo raised her head, hoping it was Yeonseok who finally back home. She then walked out, and it went just like that, when she saw him from behind the corridor, she ran toward him and held him tightly when they collided.

Her tears just came out when she leaned on his chest, and there's a relief which seemed like water poured on her head, when Yeonseok landed his arms on her back, surrounded her in a tight embrace.

He then withdrew himself some moment later and cupped her face with his hands. And she wasn't sure what Yeonseok saw from her face, but his expression changed to concerned look. 

"Did you get any sleep last night?"

She shook her head. The truth was that she was too restless to fall asleep, and maybe her face told him that.

"You're not home. I can't sleep." she said weakly.

And from all the reactions that Jisoo thought Yeonseok would give, she didn't expect him to smile, like it was the thing he wanted to hear from her. It was a smile on the tip of his lips, but it felt like a splash of warm water all over her body. It washed away her fatigue and anxiety that had haunted her overnight.

Yeonseok then bent his body to put his arms on her back and under her knees, he then lifted her up on his arms and carried her to their room. He landed her on the bed softly before then joining her beside him.

"Let's get some sleep then. You look terrible." Yeonseok leaned her head on his chest while he adjusted his body to face her and took her in his warm embrace.

"Oppa, I'm..." Yeonseok shushed her by then.

"Sleep now, we'll do the talking later. I'm tired too."

And so Jisoo closed . His attitude was very different than when he left the house yesterday, there was no trace of anger on his face, or to his attitude. Did something happen? Has he stopped being angry? She knew the question would only be answered later when they had enough rest. The talking would take place sooner or later, so Jisoo decided to take a break.

She was glad that he's home. This had never appeared in her mind before, but just scenting his perfume was enough to calm her. The frequency of regular breathing on her hair told her that he must had fallen asleep, she slid her right arm to his back, and she settled her forehead at the crook of his neck. She then closed her eyes.

Jisoo woke up a few hours later when she felt her stomach rumble. Yeonseok wasn't by her side anymore, and for a split second it panicked her, until she faintly heard people talking. Some people were more precise.

She got out of bed, stepped out of the room to where the sound came. Yeonseok sat at his desk in the library, and two men; Changmin, also another unknown man sitting opposite him talking about something. Jisoo then saw a box of pizza on the kitchen table, and because the hunger was bigger than her curiosity, she sat at the kitchen island to eat a few slices while listening to the conversation of the men in the library.

"Doctor, I think you have to issue clarification right now." She heard the man, who was not Changmin, was talking. "The board demans your cooperation for some explanation because it has put the hospital's name in jeopardy, and they want you to press a charge against this Oh Sehun. Even though we succeed to draw all the pictures in circulation, some people still managed to get their hands on it, and we can't stop them all. People talk, and I'm afraid this will be bad for your wife's reputation in the future."

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