It was all his fault. He deserves to suffer. 

After graduation 🎓 minseok left studies no more thinking of post graduation or studying further or anything at all. 

Minseok was a diehard fan of romance, fiction, novels, stupid right... 

He was a Dreamer more like a Day - Dreamer... 

So idiotic 

And now here he is trying to survive 

He always wanted a happy married life,  a happy ever after with his loving husband but he forgot one key point that it was all in stories and this was his reality 29 years old still single and not a single reliable friend no boyfriend or lover not a proper job no promising career.

There was no happily ever after... At least not for Minseok. 

He was struggling every day, fighting with himself and the cruelty of his life all by himself.

No one by his side. 

Now that he looks back there are so many regrets but there's nothing that he can do now. 

The time has already flown away.  There's nothing left in his grasp. 

All of his college friends are living a Decent life some married some working and so on. 

And here he is still stuck in time  yet running away from everything. 

He was the one pushing away everyone, his insecurities never allowed him to be what he wanted. 

He was drowning in his own miseries, sometimes he felt like he would go crazy, it was too silent even the blaring loud music was eerily quiet for him. 

He did everything he could but at the end of the day he was always back to square one. Nothing ever worked. 

He tried he really did or so he thought. 

He wanted to ask someone that what was his fault? Where was he wrong? Was it really his fault? Was he a bad person? 

He was a sinner or himself a sin? 

But then again he was scared to know the answer, scared to be judged, scared to let it all out and be bare.

A freak, lunatic, crazy, rude, bastard call him whatever you want he won't blink an eye. 

But just one word of sympathy, kindness and he'll run away.

He still have friends, he can never shut out everyone and everything coz he's still the same idiot yet he tries every day to keep the hardly built wall there, to keep a safe distance, to keep his heart away from his every decision.

Now that he sits alone in his rented flat staring out of the window into the dark cloudy sky he feels like jumping off of it but he never had the courage to leave.  So he stops ever single time. 

He is afraid of being forgotten ,

He's a coward .

He still wants to live ,

He's greedy. 

Yes he's alone very lonely but he no longer wish to be with anyone coz he simply believed that happiness isn't meant for him. 

He was meant to suffer 

This is his hell and he will go through it.. 

But he just can't tear down that one particular room, hidden in his heart with all his dreams and silly fantasies of a happilly ever after. So he chained it just like his wings he locked it just like his true self. 

He won't let it free, he will never let it show. 

The cute Minnie that he used to be had now turned into cold hearted minseok 

That no one pays attention. 

Minseok seems strong and scary but he is weak and scared. 

Nearing his early thirties he doesn't want to be alone anymore but he doesn't have a choice. 

He left his house 2 years back when it was just too much for him to take 

He cut off all his ties with his friends and family and so called relatives. 

He still loves his mom and his siblings still do care about him but he said help me when I'm out of all options. 

His only dream was to have true love but maybe it was too much to wish. 

He knows too well the lectures others would give him, or how useless he is how miserable his life is Or what he could have done or what a mess he had make or how all of this is his fault but he knows it all and doesn't want to listen it from anyone else.  

He knows his flaws and he doesn't want anyone else to point it out. 

He knows it all. He cries every night,  he loathes himself but he can't help it now

blaming himself won't do any good still he does it. 

He have been stronger for so long and he will keep fighting till the very end. 

Kim Minseok one ed up man. 

Who ruined his own life with his own hands... 

How lovely isn't it?