‘I want to misunderstand. I want to think you brought me home because it’s me…’

His words! The words which made her dumb in front of him… The words which proved her that he still crosses her mind… And to those words which she tried her maximum effort to prove that it’s not true….

She sat on the bed and looked through the mirror. Her preview was so sad today. The energetic beautiful image which she sees every morning was not there. She was still in her nightdress. Even though it has passed few days after their meeting at her house, she has not recovered yet from the shock.

‘What’s wrong with me?’ the same question she asked herself hundreds of time.

She remembered he was injured and at least should contact him to ask his whereabouts. Not only today, for the past two days she remembered that fact but she didn’t have the courage to convert those thoughts into any action. Like a dumb, remembering him all the time she let the time passed.

‘Even though, we didn’t have a so-called affair, even though we didn’t hold our hands, even though we didn’t date, even though we didn’t dream together and even though we didn’t kiss, does that mean your heart didn’t beat for me? Didn’t I ever flutter you? Is that so?’

She covered her face with her both palms. ‘Why this is so difficult? Why did you happen to come to me and crush me like this? Why now? It’s all in the past…my heartbeat and the fluttering! They were all in the past…………. Why do you want to recall them and make me wave like this?’

She mumbled alone… Then she looked in the mirror again.

‘And you! Sera! Why are you sway this much? What’s wrong with you? You don’t trust anyone anymore… You trust only you…. When you are in front of him, why you let yourself nervous? Even when he looks through you, why do you feel anxious? And…. both of you talked… both of you discussed and confessed… forgiven and thankful…. then now what? The issues between you and him ended in that night…. Then now what, Sera? Why do you behave someone like going crazy?’

She listened to her own voice. She listened to what her brain wanted her to listen. Even though she didn’t know what she would do next, she accepted all those facts without a doubt….

But!

Still, there was the missing spot… An empty spot which has frozen after he left like that… The hurt and the deep frustration about love which made her suffer and frost after he left her without a word…... now he has back…... he has back and he’s digging her sentiments. To the extent she will not be the same hereinafter he sees through her and making her come back to him….

Surrendering once her heart after so long, she took the phone and dialled his old number. To her surprise, it’s ringing….

‘He has not changed it’ a sudden gasp occurred to her. With the trembling hands, she held the mobile… but, it was only ringing….

‘Is he angry with me? I just want to know whether he is alright because he was injured’ she mumbled herself. With a disappointment, she dressed up to go to work.

Even though she’s busy with work Jason haunted in her mind time to time. An uneasy and doomed feeling spooked her.

‘Is something wrong with him?’ she thought finally.

“Madam! With Neli’s voice, she fell to the world.

“Yes!”

“I forgot to tell you. Mr. Jason came office looking for you last Sunday” Neli stated.

“Ah! Yeah! I met him”

“You met him?” Neli’s surprised eyes tend towards her.

“Yes, I met him at the town” Sera said simply.

“In fact, I asked him whether I can help him but he said he needs to meet you. And he pleaded asking your house address. As I was thinking it’s for work purpose, I gave him the address.” Neli said with a scare.

“It’s alright Neli...” Sera said shortly.

“You are not angry at me?” she asked surprisingly.

“No, it’s fine. He is not a stranger to me” Sera said in a very calm voice. Her own heart skipped a beat with her own words.

“What?”

“He is my college friend” She stated shortly. Neli covered with her both palms with widened eyes. She was shocked.

“I know you are surprised, but don’t worry. These all are for work purposes. So, you also should concentrate on work, nothing else”

Even though she didn’t mean directly, it was like a small hint for Neli that she should not lean on her personal feelings towards Jason anymore. It was totally a sudden shock to her.

“I understand, Madam...” she said finally. Recalling her memory how Sera and Jason argued and fought here for the Jim proposal, a lot of speculations and imaginaries craved in her mind.

‘There must be something between them…then... what about me? Am I out? Even before trying am I out?’ she thought depressingly sitting on her seat.

In the entire day, Sera sensed herself uncomfortable. Her uneasiness made her unsuccessful in her daily routine.

“Hello……. Is this Mr. Nelson? Sera here”

“Yes, Ms. Sera. How can I help you?”

“I am trying to contact Mr. Coach for some of the further clarification of the sketch but his phone is switched off. If you don’t mind, can you ask him to give a call to me?” She asked politely.

“Oh! I am sorry I don’t think I can help because he’s on leave these days”

“On leave?”

“Yes, he has informed on Monday that he was not well and he didn’t report to work yet” Sera froze. She held the phone tightly.

“Mr. Nelson, does he live nearby?” she asked an indirect question.

“Yes, he is. Do you want me to give his address?”

“Yes, please. In fact, we need to close this file today itself. So, I need to visit him and finish this matter” She lied.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Sera remained while staring at the address which she wrote in her notebook. Her thoughts have gone crazy. If he was on leave from Monday, then it has been three days. His phone was switched off and no one knows anything about him.

“Neli, I am leaving. Make sure you lock the doors and windows when you all leave” she said taking her bag and the notebook with her.

“OK madam” With surprised eyes she replied. ‘Madam behaves differently these days’ she thought silently.

Sera rode her car towards the directions. It was not too far but she had to drive around twenty-five kilometres to reach him from the office.

‘If any case, if he is sick, then what should I do? At least I should buy some medicine and some refreshments…’ She stopped at a nearby pharmacy and bought painkillers and some medicine for his injury. Even though she didn’t know what to buy exactly, she bought everything she thought would be useful for him.

After forty-five minutes of driving, she was able to find the place. It was a two-story building. She climbed the stairs and reached the room no 12. Just before knocking, she looked through the entire building and it was something like haunted, very old and dirty.

‘Knock…………. Knock…………….’ She waited for his answer for few seconds. And again, she knocked but no answer came in. She placed her hand on the door handle and slowly pressed it.

‘Oh! It’s open’

Slowly, without a sound, she opened the door and entered the room.

“J…………J………J…...Jason……….” her words tangled and she stuck at the spot. Her heart ached and burnt seeing him sleeping on the bed so lonely. She ran towards him and sat beside him on the small bed.

“Jason………Jason………” she jiggled his arm softly and then only she felt the burning hot in his skin.

“Jason! can you hear me? Jason……...you have fever…” she called him again and again…

“mmmmmmm……………………mmmmmmmmmmmm……….” He moaned like unconsciously. Sera understood what she needs to do. Even though she was scared and trembled, she knew she was in front of a patient right now. Praising her intelligent as she brought medicine, she took all of them out and kept on the small table next to the bed. Then only, her attention tended towards the room.

It’s just 8’*8’ room. His bed, a small cloth rack, an old table fan, few pots and a gas cooker were there. The bathroom was next to it and it was too small. Her heart crushed. She hated him but she never expected to see him in this way.

Coming back to her concentration she opened the small window of the room and revealed the curtains to fresh air comes in. She removed her over-coat and hung on the rack. Taking a bowl of water with a cotton cloth from his rack she sat again next to him. As she noticed his short sleeve shirt which he has worn, she guessed that he must have got ready to go to college in the morning and stopped himself from feeling sick.

Placing the wet cloth on his forehead she called him again…

“Jason! Jason!” she waggled his arm getting closer to him. feeling the wetness on his forehead he slowly opened his eyes.

“Can you hear me? Are you badly ill?” she asked bending to him. Blinking few times, he was able to recognize her.

“S………S……. Sera!” he whispered.

“Hmmm…it’s me, Sera…. We should go to the hospital. You have fever” she said gently.

“I can’t” he muttered.

“Why?”

“I don’t want” his stubbornness was not a joke. She sighed. Wetting the cloth again she placed it on his forehead.

“Then, get up and have these tablets. I bought some medicine in case if you want” he remained glaring at her blankly.

“Mmmm” he mumbled.

She placed her arm behind him and helped him to sit on the bed. Holding her aching heart she gave two painkillers and fever medicine tablets with a glass of water.

“I bought some biscuits and bananas. Do you like to have some?” she asked taking the glass from his hand.

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