“Little girls with dreams become women with vision”   

                                                                                 Unknown

Late into the night, inside the Haeinsa Temple library, Lady Wang Seol sat reading a volume on medicinal plants of the Gaya Mountains and taking notes. The book had been compiled by Buddhist masters.  The sheer quantity of information did not deter her but the lack of specifics vexed her. 

Her primary concern regarded children and the dosages to be applied. While many of the plants used in medicine had proved their efficacy, she often found them having side effects when applied to children. The volumes contained next to no information on alternate choices for children or infants.  

A fever had recently struck In-Kaesong, affecting children particularly hard. While the adults had responded very well to the medicinal herbs, the children had not. Thinking of the mounting deaths filled her with anger and frustration. 

The answer to better alternative cures could be growing in those verdant mountains overlooking Haeinsa temple, while at the Daebi-won children hurt.

Thinking back to the afternoon’s meal, the Abbots words about being taught by a Master presented itself as the perfect answer. If only the answer was that simple.  Growing up in her Father’s household she understood palace politics and the complexities of royal marriages.  The Master of medicinal plants of Haeinsa Temple was not just a simple monk.

Her thoughts drifted to the past and memories of her own childhood fevers, and the one whose worried face would always accompany those fevers…her Father.  He loved all his children but she shared an especially close bond with him. She had attributed that bond to having lost her real Mother as an infant. 

Stories about her Mother’s understanding of plants had inspired her, from an early age, to learn about them as well. Doing this, she felt closer to the woman she couldn’t remember.

It was her Father who shared those stories with her, especially during his weakest moments. She loved his sense of duty and admired it. It made watching him breakdown at times, on the anniversary of her Mother’s death, particularly hard.

He missed his Hae Soo.  The woman, his wife, his best friend. It scared her to see him that way at those times. Her Father had always seemed strong in her eyes.

In the mornings after the previous nights over indulging in wine, she was always there to give him a cure for his headache.  He seemed embarrassed to see her then, but she would simply irritate him to the point of arguing and soon all their awkwardness would vanish.

She was grateful for his second wife and her siblings most at those times. Their affection was just what her Father needed to heal his heart.

That same closeness had made the confrontation with her Father over leaving to work at the Daebi-won difficult as well. 

Her Step-Mother had called it, “A war between two generals inside the household borders.” Her Step-Mother and siblings had known better than to get involved with them then.  Those differences would be worked out between them.  They always were.

In the end, she had passed the examination, qualifying her for entrance to the Daebi-won. The debate ended with her decision to enter it.   

Once she had gained acceptance into the Daebi-won she had made the decision to not look back.  Despite his initial anger, afterwards, her Father supported her fully.

The King’s decision to open free medical centers for the poor had provided the perfect place for her to apply all the years of learning about plants. Inside its walls, she had found what her Father had found on the battlefields as a general. 

She didn’t fight soldiers, she fought disease and pain. Her strategy was simple, instead of a sword she used books, and knowledge of plants to ensure that the medicine used was the best available in their fight.

 If there was one thing she had learned from her Father, it was that an army was only as strong as the men who formed it and the leader who led them.

She needed to strengthen the weapons the Daeb-iwon used in that fight. It was the only way to give them a fighting chance. She had picked her battleground.  She could serve and make a difference.  She had found a place where she was needed.

A loud thud brought her thoughts back to the library. Two heavy volumes had landed on the table where she sat.

In a voice, much too loud for a library, her mentor Geosa exclaimed, “Only one with no worries and fears can go straight and overcome life!!” Then, in a softer tone he added, “You are no closer to reaching understanding, Lady Seol.”

Seol owed most of her medicinal knowledge to Geosa who had been a faithful companion since childhood. The King, after one of his visits when she was a child, sent the monk to her home as an advisor to Prince Jung’s household. He had showed up one day, and since then had never left her side. 

 Looking up at him she said, “Sometimes I wonder Geosa… Are you truly a monk?”

 Geosa ignored her question.

“You have come back to your temple but while others wear monk robes…” She said gesturing at his wardrobe. “Looking at your clothes, someone would think you are a merchant travelling the silk road or a caravan master!”

Instead of answering Geosa snorted, and dropped another oversized volume on the table adding to her growing stack of books. 

Later that night, Geosa held a lamp as he led her back to her quarters. Her two ladies-in-waiting walked behind him and she walked behind them. Her spirit felt deflated at the lack of the afternoon’s findings.  She still had so many questions.

She spoke her thoughts out loud to Geosa, “Do you suppose my fate is not to find the answers?  Could I be looking in the wrong place?”

“Hardly, Lady Seol. You can look at it two ways.”  Geosa answered.

He continued as they were walking,” First, as usual, you are focusing on the wrong thing.  The past, the present and even the future… they don’t matter. It is all one. “

“Will worrying about the future, make it better?”

“The fear in your mind isn’t letting you see clearly and understand.”, he finished.

Seol continued walking in silence trying to make sense of his words, and then asked, “And what is the second way of looking at it then?”

Geosa stopped as they reached the hall that led to the lady’s quarters.  Before being ushered to her chamber, Seol paused inside the entrance and looked at Geosa expectantly.

Geosa said with finality, “The second is, that you’re doomed. “

“Fate is out to get you. …. You’ll never find the answer.” And without another word, he bowed, turned, and walked away.

She could only see his back as he left, but she could have sworn she heard him chuckling.