dear namjoon: 

We were in classes together for two year yet we didn't notice each other. 

We knew about each other but we never talked. 

Suddenly freshman year came and we had a lot more classes together. 

We started texting, talking, and asking each other for help on homework. 

I thought we were just friends until we started talking about other things like our lives, our likes, our dislikes. 

And then we were more comfortable and joked around and texted and talked for hours. 

You asked me out and you thought I didn't know you had to ask my friend for help on what to say. 

I should have be familiar with what dating was like after Jeno. 

You were nice and that's what I always liked about you. 

But that was all I could say when people asked why I liked you and why were were dating. 

SImply because you're nice and reliable and I could count on you. 

I've always had a bad habit of succumbing to peer pressure and listening to what other tell me to do. 

I've also always had a bad habit of dating people because my friends told me to accept and trying to pretend that friendship was romance. 

It happened with Jeno. 

And it happened with you. 

I wasn't comfortable and I always felt pressured. 

I thought you would understand because you were nice, reliable, and sweet. 

But you were the one who made it the most unbearable. 

You said it