Yoongi lay in his bed, eyes wide open, breathing anything but even.

He glanced at the clock on the nightstand and noted that it was almost 10pm.

, I should be sleeping.

But the thing is… he couldn’t.

Just like all the previous nights in the past week, he was deadly tired. He actually left the hospital quite early tonight and he went to bed around 9pm, but Namjoon’s words kept haunting him. Yoongi felt like the younger hadn’t thrown harsh words at him, but daggers instead, daggers which were making his heart bleed.

And his mind also went over Seokjin’s worried face, his advices and then Jimin, Jimin, Jimin.

The memory of his brightly smiling face was replaced by his wavering voice and teary eyes.

And Yoongi felt like he was drowning even without being in the water. There was plenty of air around him, but he was suffocating, he couldn’t continue like this.

He lifted his body up and clenched his fists.

What the are you doing, Min Yoongi?? Since when did you become such a coward?? Why are you so afraid to look for Jimin??   

Truth is, Namjoon was right. Yoongi was afraid that he would only make things worse, he had the tendency of messing things up, especially when he cared, because he didn’t know how to approach the matter. And he definitely cared deeply about the kind and angel-like boy, called Park Jimin.

Yoongi thought about it over the last few days, the days which he spent separated from Jimin. He missed him, a lot. A lot more than he ever missed any friend in his life. And as the words of his colleagues kept replaying in his head, he somehow started understanding their meaning.

Maybe Namjoon wasn’t writing a fiction in his head, he always referred to Jimin as Yoongi’s boyfriend and spilled some other dumb , but what if Yoongi was the blind one? Had he been that oblivious? Seokjin and Namjoon seemed to be telling him exactly this – that Jimin liked him and that Yoongi liked him back.

The hot-tempered boy dismissed the possibility at first, but then his mind travelled to the countless hours of talking on the phone, the messages, Jimin’s laugher and the way his whole apartment brightened up because of the younger’s presence, the way the boy cared for Yoongi and always brought him food, his flushed cheeks from time to time - Yoongi started noticing that expression  on Jimin, after the bathroom accident, he did not make the connection back then, but thinking about it now, made him wonder if Jimin was embarrassed when he saw him and thought about it from time to time?

Ridiculous or maybe not.

Yoongi knew that he felt something special for Jimin, he just wasn’t sure what exactly. He never lent anything from his collection to anyone, he rarely let people in his home, he didn’t like it when people touched his things, but he didn’t mind it when Jimin invaded his privacy. It was quite the opposite, Yoongi loved the boy’s company, he got excited every time when Jimin came over, even though he didn’t show it that much, he still played with the younger’s hair, because he knew how much he liked it.

Ah, his hair… I miss touching it. His voice, his laugh… God, what’s wrong with me?

Yoongi got up from his bed and grabbed a random jacket from his wardrobe. He couldn’t stay in his apartment any longer, he had to do something or he was about to go crazy.

His heart ached every time he thought about Jimin’s eyes filled with tears and his broken voice. He hated seeing Jimin like that, it didn’t suit him. Yoongi loved the way Jimin’s eyes almost disappeared when he laughed or the way he hid his face behind his fingers when he was embarrassed.

The sun was shining brightly every day since it was the end of May, but there was no light in Yoongi’s life, because Jimin was not by his side and after placing the puzzle together, Yoongi would be the most stupid person on Earth if he did now know what that meant.

I just hope I’m not too late.





Jimin wasn’t expecting a visitor, he was just watching TV in his living room when the door bell rang. The boy glanced over at the clock on the wall and saw that it was past 10pm. Who could be looking for him at such an hour?

He turned off the TV and got up from the couch. He strolled over to the hallway and opened the door.

A stranger, who had rang the wrong bell was what he was expecting the most and out of all possibilities he most definitely did not expect to find Min Yoongi at his door so late at night with a… pizza box in his hands.

Yoongi was relieved when Jimin opened the door, he was probably going to bed soon, as he was wearing sweatpants and a rather loose t-shirt, which was revealing some of his left shoulder and Yoongi tried his best not to stare at the exposed skin too much. He didn’t even know why it made such an impression, but he was glad that he was the one who got to see Jimin like that and not someone else. When his eyes shifted to the other’s face, he noted that Jimin looked healthy, but definitely thinner than the last time he saw him, his squishy cheeks were almost gone.

“Hey.” Yoongi greeted, as he smiled slightly.

Jimin just kept staring at the person in front of him, wondering whether he was real or just a mirage. They hadn’t seen each other in a week. A week, which was very hard for Jimin, because he had to stay at home and was under care of his mother, who made sure he drank enough water and ate his meals, he didn’t eat much though because he didn’t have appetite, thus he lost some more weight, but at least he didn’t starve himself.

His mother did not allow him to go back to work and he took a week off from teaching at the dance studio as well, so he basically did nothing, but sleep and laze around all week, which meant he had a lot of time to think about many things. But most of the time his mind was preoccupied with thoughts about a rather grumpy man with fierce eyes.

It’s true that Jimin told Yoongi that he wanted to be alone, but he meant it for the moment. He thought that the older would come looking for him on the next day, but he didn’t. Even Namjoon paid him a visit and he could also see another man peeking from the door, Jimin assumed that it was probably Seokjin who wanted to check up on him, but was hesitant to step in the room.

And while Jimin spend a whole week at his apartment, he mostly stared at his phone, waiting for at least a call or a text from the older, but nothing came.

Jimin wanted to believe that this time, Yoongi would be the one to make the first move, that he would be the one to call or leave a message, but as the days passed Jimin started losing hope.

He knew that being the softie he is, he was going to contact Yoongi on his own sooner or later, but he wanted to at least preserve their friendship in some way, he was not ready to completely give up on the older and disappear from his life.

However, he was not prepared for a random, late night visit at his apartment either. And maybe Jimin stared for a bit too long, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from Yoongi. He had missed seeing his face so much and he couldn’t help self-noting that as per usual, Yoongi rocked the black color – slightly ripped jeans, a t-shirt and a jacket, which was not as thick as Yoongi’s leather one, but still seemed inappropriate for the weather and the older’s slightly messy hair was the perfect finishing touch.

‘Black is my happy color.’

Yoongi had said once and Jimin always loved seeing the other dressed in black, it suited him so damn much. Especially because Yoongi did not like being exposed to much sunlight, so he had a rather fair complexion, which created a great contrast between his skin color and his black clothes.

 Jimin didn’t know for how long he had been standing at the door like a fool without saying a thing, but he finally found his voice and spoke after what seemed an eternity.

“H-hi.”

His voice cracked, not a good start, but at least he said something.

“Are you hungry? I bought you a Hawaiian pizza.” Yoongi said, glad that Jimin finally spoke, but he was still standing at the door and he was blocking the way, so Yoongi could not step inside.

Jimin glanced at the box in Yoongi’s hands and saw the Domino logo on it. “Hyung, you know there’s pineapple and ham on the pizza, right? You hate that combination.”

“Yeah, I know. But it’s your favorite pizza, so…”

Jimin bit the inside of his cheek, mentally screaming in his head. Yoongi was doing this again – he was being nice to Jimin for no reason, just as per usual, he was trying to act as if they hadn’t gotten in a fight. Did they actually fight? Jimin wasn’t sure anymore, but they had completely ignored each other for a week, that was something.

Seeing Yoongi again was everything Jimin’s heart craved for, but it was also his biggest fear, because now they had to talk and Jimin wanted to come clean, he wasn’t going to lie or pretend anymore and he was hoping that Yoongi would at least like to stay his friend.

“Come in.” The boy said, as he fully opened the door, so Yoongi could enter the apartment.

Even though Jimin had visited Yoongi’s place a countless times, it was actually the older’s first time in Jimin’s home. He only knew where he lived, because he drove Jimin home one night. The apartment was smaller than Yoongi’s, but it had a Jimin vibe to it. The creamy walls matched Jimin’s cheerful persona and even though Yoongi’s place wasn’t a mess, there were still some socks or god knows what on his floor, however, Jimin’s apartment was absolutely clean.

Jimin followed Yoongi’s gaze who was looking around, the older had already taken off his shoes and both of them were heading to the living room. “I was at home for a week, I cleaned up a bit, my mom kept nagging at me and I had nothing else to do.” Jimin decided to explain, as they walked.

“I see.” Yoongi placed the still hot pizza on the table and sat on the couch, waiting for Jimin to do the same.

The boy hesitantly plopped down as well, a bit far from Yoongi. The older usually disliked having people close to him, but Jimin always invaded his private space by sitting too close, knees or shoulders brushing against each other and although he could see a small scowl on Yoongi’s face at first, later it seemed like he got used to it and never said a word, however Jimin didn’t know what the other would say if he did that now, so he preferred to sit at a safe distance.

Why are you sitting so far away from me?

That’s the question, which danced around in Yoongi’s head, but he decided to say something else instead.

“You look better. You’ve been eating well and resting enough, right?”

“Yes.” Jimin hummed in response. He did get enough of sleep, but something about his appetite really needed to be done. If it was a few hours back, his mouth wouldn’t have watered at the thought of his favorite Hawaiian pizza and he wasn’t even hungry before Yoongi appeared, but somehow now his stomach craved for food.

Was it because Yoongi was here?

“I’m sorry for not calling you.” Yoongi apologized and decided not to utter lame excuses like ‘Sorry, I was busy. You know how it is… university and the hospital…’

Yoongi’s schedule was hectic as always, but he was not that busy. He could have always called or texted Jimin, he just decided against it, he chose to act like a coward.

“It’s fine, I didn’t call you either.”

It was not fine, Jimin was sick, he needed Yoongi by his side and yet the older distanced himself, he placed a wall between them and that saddened Jimin.

Did you do this, because you already know, Hyung? That I love you?

“Why?”

Yoongi’s question once again made Jimin’s insides twitch uncomfortably. Why, why, why?

“I needed time.” The boy replied, but Yoongi was not satisfied with the answer.

“Time for what?”

They had reached that part of the conversation, which Jimin wanted to avoid at all cost. He was supposed to spill the beans now, wasn’t he?

That’s what Jimin wanted to do, but having Yoongi in the same room as him, made his fears re-appear. What if this turned out to be their last talk? What if Yoongi decided that he no longer wanted them to stay as friends, what if-?

Jimin’s train of thoughts was interrupted when he felt Yoongi’s hands on his face, Jimin didn’t even realize that he had started turning his head away.

“Don’t you dare to ignore me, Park Jimin. I am here to talk, so please talk. Don’t bottle up everything inside. I won’t know what you’re thinking, what you’re feeling, until you tell me.”

Jimin somehow found reassurance in Yoongi’s eyes, he was here, he was willing to listen. No, he wanted to hear what Jimin had to say and since the other was still holding onto his face, Jimin couldn’t run away any longer, so he clenched his fists and took a deep breath, before speaking, before finally revealing his deep and true feelings towards the older.

“I like you.”

Jimin spoke softly, but confidently. He could see a slight change in Yoongi’s expression, as if Jimin had just confirmed something he already knew, but before the older said a word, Jimin decided that actions speak louder than words. He didn’t want Yoon