"Kyungsoo, text her again? Did she say anything?"

Chanyeol is now sprawled more comfortably on the couch. His legs spreaded and his eyes glued to the screen while his fingers mindlessly click on the joystick. 

They finished almost the entire game while playing, and Kyungsoo's fingers began aching from the use, so now Chanyeol is playing a level they've already finished on his own.

Silence. Kyungsoo sits there, his legs crossed and his back rested against the couch. His eyes avert downwards to his own hands and his heart throbbing faster and faster in his chest.

"If you don't mind, I can even stay over for the night. Maybe she'd prefer coming tomorrow morning or something?"

Chanyeol persists, which stresses Kyungsoo twice as much unintentionally. And still, silence. Kyungsoo can't keep this on.

Playing with Chanyeol like this, forgetting the world, forgetting his own worries and fears, he realized that whatever he had planned for the rest of the night was not going to do. It has been too much, and too long, and Kyungsoo's worst fear will have to come true eventually. 

He already let it last way beyond he should have.

He wants Chanyeol to be happy. And he's tired of being the reason Chanyeol's happiness will not be able to come alive. 

It's all because of him. Because of Kyungsoo. Because Kyungsoo just couldn't get enough. Because he was too naive and too happy himself to understand what sort of poisonous stew his actions are cooking. 

"Kyungsoo? Actually, if there's still time.. Maybe you could help me. Got any advice on how to impress her?"

The giant now spoke while looking at him. The game paused and the joystick being placed down on the coffee table in front of them.

Kyungsoo can practically hear the cracks spreading over his unnaturally fast beating heart. 

Chanyeol wants to try his luck with D.O. Flirt with her.. Make her fall for him for real. 

That makes sense. Otherwise why would he say any of the poetic things he kept texting to her? 

It's already late at night and Kyungsoo's the only secret holder that can snap Chanyeol's bubble and watch him stumble in the truth of reality.

"Advice.. Uhm.. Don't try."

Kyungsoo replies dryly. Quietly, looking down at nothing in particular.

"Huh? Well, you've got a point, until now all of my attempts failed. Maybe these macaroons will convince her when she arrives."

Chanyeol's optimism makes Kyungsoo feel dizzy from the agony of having to ruin such a pure emotion.

"Chanyeol.."

His throat is burning.

"Nah, it's fine. Always better to just be yourself. I mean.. She probably already likes me a lot if she keeps writing all these fanfictions. Gh-- Uh-- Not that I follow or read any of them-- Mmh. But. I can't wait.. She's the only one."

Kyungsoo now turned his head towards Chanyeol. The way his eyes are shining, looking forward at the frozen television screen, filled with hope and anticipation and something Kyungsoo has never quite seen before. 

Other than that one time Chanyeol attempted to use him as a test subject for the pick up lines. 

What can he do If there's no place for Kyungsoo, but there is only Kyungsoo?

"Chanyeol...."

It comes out as barely a whisper.

"Are you alright? Getting too tired? You can nap if you'd like, or even go to sleep in your bed. I can wake you up when she arrives, or just fall asleep myself hahaha."

Chanyeol graces Kyungsoo's back of the head with a gentle worried before stretching his arms upwards with a grunt.

He doesn't understand. He doesn't know a thing. Kyungsoo's entire existence is being squeezed inside his body. 

This is trully the end. His lips are quivering and although it's cold enough to leave the fridge open without concern, sweat spreads in his shaking palms and forehead.

"D.O isn't coming..."

Only air flew out from his throat soundlessly.

Chanyeol stares at him. He can't see him, but he can feel his eyes digging right into his brain. 

Time is ticking backwards and Kyungsoo doesn't even notice he's trembling.

"What did you say?"

"D.O isn't coming. Chanyeol."

Silence. 

Kyungsoo can hear the gears in Chanyeol's head starting to spin.

"D.O isn't coming because she isn't real."

"What..?"

"D.O doesn't exist."

Silence.

Kyungsoo stands up from the couch and almost collapses right there on the carpet.

"I don't have any fiction writing cousin. There is no D.O."

Silence. 

And Kyungsoo makes the grave mistake of looking at Chanyeol. Eyebrows furrowed with intense seriousness that sends a sharp shudder of true fear down his spine.

"What are you sayin--"

"Chanyeol, there is no D.O because I am D.O."

His voice cracked so clearly that he nearly choked on his own words.

"Yeah, that's right. I am D.O. I wrote the fanfictions myself. I represented myself at the court."

Silence.

"Then how--"

"The texting? Hah, I borrowed a spare one."

Kyungsoo doesn't even know what kind of expression is spread across his own face. Probably something combining death and terror. 

He shoves both hands into his pockets and pulls out the devices. Terribly shaking, he lets them fall down on the couch where he sat a moment ago, and steps backwards away from Chanyeol's location, removing his eyes from the view of his undefined reaction.

"It's awful. Right? It's terrible--.. Hah. I lied, I lied this entire time. I lied to you Chanyeol, hah."

Silence.

"Wait--"

"I am D.O. I am Kyungsoo."

Kyungsoo's eyes are shaking in their sockets behind the glasses and he officially disconnected with reality. 

Palms gripping tightly to his own head and hair, back curling and tears blurring his already unstable line of sight that somehow ended up being directed towards the wall and away from the one human that exists in his current state of world.

He cannot feel anything anymore. Nothing other than the immense waves of agonizing pain pulsing from the center of his body and onto the very end of his fingertips. 

He's done it. He's free. Chanyeol won't suffer anymore. 

It's all over. Kyungsoo will be over, too. 

He wants to apologize to Baekhyun for not agreeing to buy him the silly iron man toy he wanted when they bought the snacks at the local market. 

He wants to apologize to Baekhyun for not allowing him to play the playstation before. For not telling him goodbye. 

Because when Chanyeol leaves this place, Kyungsoo's whole world will be leaving with him. And he will have nothing. 

Underwater. 

Kyungsoo's underwater. Down deep in the ocean, drifting lower into the darkness and nothingness of the unknown. 

He can't breathe, he doesn't need to. Things are okay now. They're fine the way they are. He's already accepted his faith, the depth of the unexplored and terrifying space. 

There's a blurr swimming around him in the waters. A dull movement surrounding his body. 

He's down so low, so deep, that he doesn't even want to open his eyes. He will only see dark anyway. 

Muted deep voice is echoing in his ears. The monsters at the bottom of the ocean are getting to him. He cannot make sense of it. Cannot form words. But it doesn't leave. The dull sensation, the knowledge that something is right there surrounding him, tugging to him. 

It must be the guilt and regret catching up to him in a last attempt to strangle him and end it all.

But he isn't being strangled. He isn't being eaten by a beast at the bottom of the ocean. The movement around him is warm. Almost like a hand reaching down from above and pulling him upwards.

Kyungsoo doesn't want to get to the surface again. It is too scary, he left it a mess. He won't be needing any air anyway. 

But the tugging continues, and Kyungsoo can sense light flickering against his closed eyelids. 

"---soo....... Kyu--... ---ey...." 

More warmth is spreading around him. He's being touched by something that he can't identify, and it feels somewhat familiar. 

Not quite as familiar as Baekhyun would be.. Something else. 

Gradually he's being pulled out of the water, and he's back on his feet. On the ground. In his house. Somehow he's still there. In the real world. Surprised that it still exists. 

Kyungsoo isn't alone.

"..--ere. Kyungsoo? Are you alright? Hey, it's okay, you're okay. Kyungsoo?" 

Kyungsoo's face feels wet and hot, it's a little difficult to open his eyes, but when he does he's met with the view of his own living room. Just a blurry version of it due to his eyes being so wet. 

Why is everything so wet anyway?

He blinks a couple of times before realizing there's more to his position than simply seeing his house. 

All of a sudden his lungs sting terribly, and his body retaliates the pain by gasping in air that it missed.

"Just relax.. You're fine Kyungsoo.."

The voice comes from an awfully close source. That source being located just a little bit behind his ear. 

It's a soft tone. Filled with caution and protection. Kyungsoo likes it. There's something more. 

His tense shoulders are no longer stiff, and he nearly forgot that it's almost winter. Soothing motions are running over the back of his head, and they're so warm. Something is holding him. 

He knows it because there is no way his own knees would be able to keep him up above the floor.

It's Chanyeol. 

His long toned arms are wrapping Kyungsoo's entire upper body almost uncomfortably tight. And his hand is gentle and careful behind his head. His voice is gentle and careful too. 

Maybe this isn't the real world. Maybe this is the exact end of the world. Frankly, if this is how Kyungsoo's world is going to end, he will be fine with it. With the feeling of Chanyeol's essence like a cloak, his scent filling the lungs, and his voice muting all the scary white noise that is life.

His chest doesn't ache as bad as it did moments ago and his breathing pattern slowly eases just enough for it to be sufferable. 

"Good job.."

Chanyeol is an angel. 

Enough now. The panic is gone. All that happens is real. 

Kyungsoo went through one hell of break down, but now he's back. Now he's real again. Now he doesn't need to pretend. There's no ocean and no monsters, there's only Chanyeol. 

He'll take it. Not even in Kyungsoo's wildest of imaginations he could predict Chanyeol would do this. Hold him like this. Protect him like this.

"I'm sorry--"

"Shh.. It's alright. Kyungsoo, I'm here. You're alright.."

"I love you Chanyeol.."

Kyungsoo's chest suddenly tightens and a new wave of tears makes an appearance sliding down his face and until they reach the already damp area of Chanyeol's shirt. 

And he closes his eyes. 

And he's home. 

--

The next time Kyungsoo opens his eyes it's morning. He knows not because any light can get through the curtains and into his room, but because the waking birds are singing to each other from the treetops in the street below. 

A faint smell of eggs cooking, and the little sign of sizzling noises connect his consciousness to the rest of the body, and he gets out of the bed. Dressed in actual clothes and not his usual pajama attire. 

He doesn't really question himself about it, because the smell and the noise are far more interesting than the fabrics on his body.

When he opens the door of his room his senses are under attack. It's cold. 

Squinting his eyes due to the unforgiving light of day shining through the apartment, Kyungsoo presses his steps to the kitchen.

It can't be real. 

There's no way Chanyeol is standing in his tiny kitchen and cooking them eggs with Kyungsoo's apron tied around his waist. 

There's no way he's the one that set the table with plates and utensils for two. There's no way he's humming and tapping his foot on the ground. 

Not after yesterday, no way.

But there is way, apparently, because when Kyungsoo takes a step into the kitchen Chanyeol's entire body turns to his direction to meet his eyes.

"Oh-- Hey D.O-- I mean, Kyungsoo. Or D.O. Or both?" 

Chanyeol's smiling, his voice is hoarse, but Kyungsoo is way too exhausted to be able to handle looking directly into the sun, so he averts his eyes from the giant and drops himself into one of the chairs in front of the table, back hunched and hair frazzled. 

The proper morning appearance. 

Only after Chanyeol turns back to the pan under his charge Kyungsoo dares to spare him a look. 
It seems the proper morning appearance doesn't skip even angels. Because Chanyeol's hair is just as messy as his own, and although he looks pretty composed, one of his socks is missing.

"... Where is your sock?"

Kyungsoo's voice is equaly hoarse, completing the final touch of the disoriented, barely in touch with reality morning person that he used to be when his only job was being a writer.

"Uhm, funny story.. Well, I kinda lost it in your living room. Pretty sure it's somewhere between all the blankets. They're very comfortable by the way. Smell good too."

Okay. 
Kyungsoo has to avoid thinking about how these blankets in the corner of the couch are the only spot in the apartment he actually spends time in, and that now if Chanyeol used them it means they most likely caught his scent. 

He almost missed that Chanyeol actually complimented Kyungsoo's own scent by admiring the blankets'.

"Chanyeol.. Why are you here?"

He's almost startled by Chanyeol's quick turn of the head to his direction, wide eyed, looking as if Kyungsoo had just announced the end of the world. 

Which is probably not far from the truth.

"Because I want to, duh. Unless you can find the secret agent pointing his sniper gun at the back of my skull." 

Kyungsoo exhales through his nose as if to imitate actual laughter and rubs his face. He didn't even remember putting his glasses on when he woke up.

"No.. Really. Why?"

"Let's talk after we wake up, yeah?"

Chanyeol steps in and pours half the mixture of vegetables and scrambled eggs on Kyungsoo's plate, the rest to his own. He then places the pan away and sits down. 

They eat mostly in silence. Kyungsoo thanks Chanyeol for the meal, and the other sometimes says a sentence or two about how cool the design of the apartment is, or the birds chirping outside.

--

"I've.. uh.. I've been writing for about five years now. I actually.. published my first piece on the day of your debut. Hah... It's gross, I know, I'm sorry."

Kyungsoo hides himself further inside the blankets.

"No-- stop. Just talk normally, don't worry about anything."

"Okay.. Mmh. You read my fics.. so you know that what I write is.. Not exactly normal. That's just how it is. The first time I wrote something that doesn't involve.. uh.. you know, these things, was the one you based your music video on."

He was right, Chanyeol's scent really stuck to his blankets.

"All the readers told me to sue you.. Even my friend tried to convince me. So I did."

"My manager almost popped a nerve when he found out.."

Chanyeol laughs genuinely and runs a hand through his flawlessly messy hair, sitting sideways on the couch. Facing Kyungsoo.

"Since I'm.. you know. A guy. My friend-- ah-- he was the lawyer, told me that I should be acting like a representer. I can't just go and flaunt my identity around.. I'd be putting myself at risk. South Korea doensn't really like.. People like me."

Chanyeol nodded attentively. Without even mentioning any specific words of definitions or labels, Chanyeol knew exactly what he meant.

"So we stuck with the cousin idea. And then.. Before anything even happened, I bumped into you. That's how it all started.. "

Kyungsoo lowers his gaze with shame and regret, but continues on.

"After I gave you my real number as D.O.. I borrowed a second phone from my friend. That one became Kyungsoo's number-- I mean, my number, but not--- uh.. You know what I mean. I guess that's about it."

Kyungsoo raised his eyes again, hoping Chanyeol wouldn't show too much disgust. 

He didn't. This time these were Chanyeol's eyes looking sideways with stress. Why would he be stressed?

"I'm a little embarrassed.. And by little I mean very.. So you've seen all of my conversations with you... And with D.O..."

Chanyeol's cheeks and ears are coated with a new color. It's pink. And Kyungsoo can feel his own cheeks and ears heating up moderately slow.

".. Yeah. Yes I've seen them all... I'm sorry--"

"No, no. Sure, it's kinda weird.. But.. I'm a little happy about it."

"Happy..?"

"Since we're all about revealing the truth and all that--.. Uhm. Ah...."

Chanyeol seems to get more nervous by the second. His cheeks are now a few shades darker and the fingers of the hand that isn't holding Chanyeol's chin on the back of the couch are rambling restlessly on the fabric of his jeans.

"Chanyeol, it's fine. You should fire me and we'll be done and over. I'm really thankful for you not leaving me here to die last night.. But.. Really. You've done more than enough. I'm very grateful for the opportunity. I can shut D.O down too, if you'd like."

"NO!!-- I mean, no, don't shut D.O down." 

Kyungsoo could swear he saw Chanyeol jump in panic when he spoke, and his eager answer came as a surprise too.

"I'm sorry.. I guess I'm just not ready yet. It's uhm.. The first time something like this happened to me."

"Well, clearly. I don't think it ever happened to anybody before.. Being tricked like this.. I'll always regret it."

Kyungsoo admits, locking his eyes with Chanyeol's to convey his true feelings of guilt. 

The conversation quiets for a while. The two of them just sit there and breathe, each in their own pattern.

"...Say. Wanna finish the game from yesterday?" 

Chanyeol's smile is dripping mischief and Kyungsoo's worries are gone and beyond.

An odd way to confess. Kyungsoo wonders to himself. But he is glad that Chanyeol took it so well. 

They play together again. For a couple of hours, before Chanyeol calls it a day and decides to let Kyungsoo rest and clear his mind from the bottled stresses. 
Not before making sure he'll be coming to work on monday.

When the door closes behind him, Kyungsoo feels empty again. Drained. 

All of the tention that's been suffocating him on a daily basis flew with the wind. 

Of course he still worries about how oddly Chanyeol reacted to the whole situation. This result was nowhere near what Kyungsoo prepared himself for. 

He's vacant, and loneliness starts filling up all the little holes the stress had left behind.

[ it's really him: Kyungsoo? Rest well. Thank you for letting me know about it all. You'll probably hear from me soon. -Smiling emoji- ]

Checking his phone, his real phone, the one that was used for D.O, a small smile grew on his lips. 

Ah.. that's right. He'll have to contact Baekhyun quickly. Not only to update him on everything.. But to return the secondary phone that won't be used anymore.

--

Chanyeol called Kyungsoo on sunday evening. Talking about how his stomach is aching after eating too much during lunch. 

In return Kyungsoo explained how Baekhyun reacted to everything that went down during the 'meeting' with D.O. 

At first Kyungsoo was a little nervous to speak, but Chanyeol's consideration and calmness were enough to enable him to do so.
By the end of the conversation Chanyeol confirmed once again that Kyungsoo could, and should, continue working with him at the company. Which was a relief that raised a lot of questions. 

Neither of them spoke about D.O, or fanfictions anymore.

The days at work are back to how they used to be before the halloween party. 

There's no more awkwardness and separation between the two of them. No more uneasy silences and weird quick glances of doubt. Kyungsoo's mind was no longer tied in a knot of negativity and guilt. 

Chanyeol by his side made him feel secure. 

It's so hard to grasp how bizarre it is. Chanyeol was his partner in crime, knowing the secret that.. Kyungsoo writes ual fantasy fictions about him? And somehow it didn't seem to bother him? 

The most he had caught Chanyeol doing out of character was turn his head away quickly when their eyes met one time. But it happened a hundred times since then and Chanyeol's head hasn't turned.

Winter is cold and harsh. 

For a while Chanyeol couldn't come to work after catching a rough cold. Kyungsoo showed up at his apartment with a pot of warm soup and some special herbs to blanch him tea. 

Afterwards, when Chanyeol was healthy again, he came to the office every morning with an extra cup of hot chocolate for Kyungsoo for a week. 

They managed to slide a few movie nights at the theatre between Chanyeol's intense variety schedules after the successful comeback. 

Kyungsoo continued publishing stories when he had the time. He never told Chanyeol when a story was released. He never asked Chanyeol if by any chance the giant read it. 

Kyungsoo is aware of his position. A creepy obsessed fan that somehow by sheer luck managed to become his obsession subject's best friend. 

At least thats what he thought would be a good description for his position from Chanyeol's point of view.

The two of them decided to ditch the company's combined christmas and sylverster's party for the sake of grabbing some street noodles in the nearby almost vacant neighbourhood, and watching the fireworks from a bench located on the side of a bridge above the han river. 

It was hilarious to exchange gifts because they got each other the exact same brand of scarf just in different patterns. 

Kyungsoo's scarf for Chanyeol had the pattern of giraffe's fur, and Chanyeol's scarf for Kyungsoo had the pattern of black feathers. 

They fell into such a strong fit of laughter that Kyungsoo rushed them to the closest toilet to avoid a bladder disaster in the middle of the street. 

This is how they chose to celebrate each other's birthdays as well. Combined in the space between their birthdates.

Baekhyun finally got to meet Chanyeol in the early spring when the giant asked Kyungsoo to invite Baekhyun along to his penthouse for a gaming night. 

He had already been told by Kyungsoo that the now very professional yet child-like lawyer has a passion for these things. 

The puppy duo clicked so fast when they arrived that Kyungsoo thought he can die in peace. 

While the competetive children who are older than him, funnily enough, were shouting at each other over the games, Kyungsoo had the whole kitchen space for himself to explore and exploit. Fixing the three of them a feast calmly.

Kyungsoo's love for Chanyeol kept growing and filling him up inside with happiness and gratitude. 

He really is the lucky one here. Somehow everything just fit together so well for him. In the back of his mind he will always regret what he had done, and he will always know that Chanyeol is more of a piece of art at the museum. Hanging to be looked at and admired, not to be owned by anyone. 

Especially not Kyungsoo.

The summer is approaching again. The beginning of summer resembles more than just the upcoming heat waves Kyungsoo will have to live through, but also the beginning of his new life. The start of the trippy Chanyeol franchise. 

This year really was a wild trip for Kyungsoo's little heart.

Kyungsoo of today would like to think he'd be stopping his old self from lying to Chanyeol about his identity, but then how would he know if Chanyeol would be part of his life at all? 

Well, he would have been there. The one and only source of inspiration for Kyungsoo's heated mind. Maybe he could have survived bumping into Chanyeol and nothing more. 

No matter how close they are now.. What happens in his mind and his fics will remain a fantasy.

--

Today is the day. 

The exact date of the court hearing that took place a year ago. 

Somehow this year it landed on a saturday. And Kyungsoo decided to dedicate this saturday on self reflection. 

It's not like he has been reflecting on himself almost every day since the moment he started the lie, no, not at all. But today is going to be more important because it's special.

Huddled in his blanket piles at the corner of the couch, Kyungsoo is sitting with the laptop in front of him. Chanyeol's latest single playing from the speakers that belong to the television, and the air conditioner roaring in the background.

The cursor is blinking almost impatiently on the empty word file that's illuminating the frame of his glasses in white.

' A knock on the door... '

A knock on the door. 

Kyungsoo's eyebrows furrow and he lowers the volume of the music while turning his head suspiciously towards his apartment's enterance. 
Did.. Did he just imagine someone knocking because he wrote it down or--

Another knock. Okay, it's legit.

Kyungsoo slides the laptop aside and unwillingly frees himself from the warm blankets cocoon he had worked on heating for the past hour. 

Before reaching the door Kyungsoo passes by the mirror hanging in the hallway, and checks himself out. With a sigh and a few tugs on his hair, he became presentable enough for whoever his guest may be. 

He has a feeling it's just Baekhyun arriving to reminiscent about a year ago. He wouldn't mind, because Kyungsoo himself is doing the exact same thing.

The first thing Kyungsoo sees when the door opens is pink. 

Lots and lots of pink. And green. 

At his eye level a small yet neatly arranged bouquet of flowers is held by a pair of large hands. 

Kyungsoo is able to recognize these hands better than his own by now. 

Instantly, his heart begins racing in his chest, preparing his blood stream for what might be a shock before he'd raise his eyes and be dazzled by the sun standing in front of him.

Chanyeol's grin is wide and genuine, wide enough so that Kyungsoo shouldn't be able to notice the pink shade across the scrunched cheeks. But Kyungsoo notices the blush, because Kyungsoo notices everything about Chanyeol.

"Happy one year friendship anniversary Kyungsoo!" 

His voice cracks when his long limbs squeeze Kyungsoo in what he'd define a bear hug. But even being squeezed this tight doesn't stop Kyungsoo from laughing at the giant's amusing behaviour. 

When he's released from the hold, Chanyeol rushes to push the bouquet into his arms. It's light and meticulously designed, the flowers vary from whites to pinks to a few red sparks. 

"Thank you Chanyeolie, they're beautiful. I apologize in advance though, I haven't prepared anything to give in return, so leave the disappointment outside, yeah?"

Kyungsoo's grin is too big and he knows it, but he doesn't even try to be subtle about how happy he is.

His cheeks are as pink as Chanyeol's. As pink as the flowers he sniffs before turning back into the house to find a proper vase, leaving Chanyeol to take care of his enterance by himself. 

He's not a foreigner in this residence anymore anyway.

When Kyungsoo comes back to the living room with two glasses of lemonade and a plate of butter cookies he sees Chanyeol staring at the screen of his laptop. 

Sudden panic runs over him before he remembers the only thing being displayed is the single line he managed to type before Chanyeol's surprise visit. He settles down into the blankets that lost their heat by now and shuts the laptop's screen off. 

Chanyeol sips from his lemonade and after placing the glass back down, leans forward with his elbows on the knees. 

He is beautiful. Chanyeol is absolutely stunning. 

His expression is oddly serious and no matter how many times Kyungsoo will be around him, he will always be more handsome than before.

"Kyungsoo.. How is uh. How is writing going?"

Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow.

"It's going fine.. Why?"

Something feels very wrong all of a sudden. He watches how Chanyeol begins fidgeting with his own fingers with unease. 

It's quiet for a while, and Kyungsoo really wants to grab a cookie, but eating anything with this growing stress wouldn't be a smart idea.

"I'm sorry, don't be so nervous-- I just... It's something I have to talk about."

Chanyeol sighs and presses a few fingers onto his own lips. Seems like it's going to be a serious subject if he's struggling this much to put some words out. 

Kyungsoo's thankful for the reassurance but seeing Chanyeol nervous would make everyone around feel on edge.

"No worries. I've got time." 

"Kyungsoo, you know. When we met I told you that I was a fan of D.O. I wasn't lying."

O...kay?

"But after seeing you-- uh... After we bumped into each other and all. I kind of.. couldn't stop thinking about you."

"Me?"

Chanyeol stutters out a breath and his eyes stare at his lemonade glass intensely.

"Yes. I just never met anybody like you before then in my life. You're so small and cute-- really too damn adorable, and your big eyes and even bigger glasses... I saw that your hair was out of place but it was just perfect--.."

Kyungsoo's eyes are gazing at Chanyeol's nervous profile as he speaks. Every word starts logging into a coherent line of translation in his brain. 

Even though Chanyeol is talking pretty quietly, his voice is loud and clear in Kyungsoo's ears. His climbing heart rate is also loud and clear in his ears.

"I knew that the only chance seeing you again would be to grab the only opportunity I had.. D.O. I never thought you'd actually come and work with me at the studio. In my head I began wondering how I'll make D.O bring me to you."

Chanyeol continues and Kyungsoo's fingers tighten the grip on the inside of his blankets fortress.

"When you were there I knew that D.O's ideas were important but.. You being with me was better. You.. with your soft voice and old grandpa's fashion style, and these heart lips, and the little moles on your neck and ear and--- well, you were my new inspirtion."

Kyungsoo's mute.

"Okay-- listen-- It's really hard to talk about so please just.. Hang in there until I get to the point.."

Chanyeol's foot starts tapping down on the carpet repeatedly. Whoa.. He really is struggling.

"You might think you've done something bad.. But I.. I did much worse. Gah, I used D.O. I used my conversation with D.O to experiment and try out what might work on you-- it's because your personalities were so similiar. Since I didn't know you were D.O and--.."

He clears his throat and takes another sip before sighing.

"After my terrible failure at the halloween party I felt really awful. I was drunk.. and I was convinced you hated me.. Haha.. They were so lame and your reactions were so clever and I felt like you'd run away from me if I didn't lie and say it was meant for D.O..."

"Technically I did run away from you there.. Since uh.. well, now you know how I felt towards you back then.. But still."

His eyes now finally rotated towards Kyungsoo's direction, but his expression cannot be recognized.

"I knew. I didn't know until what extent because I thought only D.O felt that way.. Uhm. So I stepped back. I thought I crossed the line and tried to stay away... It was horrible. The worst period of my life. I could barely sleep at nights.. My only comfort was the fact you kept coming to work every morning.."

Kyungsoo's brain is still in the process of registering the path in which this conversation is going.

"So.. When you finally told me that you are D.O I was scared. Because it meant you must have thought I tried to hit on her or something... I was sure that would be the moment you'd quit your job and push me away forever."

Chanyeol's expression is now slowly softening.

"It took the best out of me not to start sobbing when you had your breakdown.. I was freaking out.. I don't ever want to see it happen again.."

"Hey, it wasn't that bad--"

"Kyungsoo, it was terrifying. I was tempted to call an ambulance when your legs gave in and your eyes rolled back."

Sharp again. His eyes pierce through Kyungsoo's soul.

"..Oh.. I guess I can't really remember..."

"Anyway. What I'm saying is.. Uhm--... uh..."

Chanyeol turns mute now, his mouth keeps gaping open as if to speak but no sound comes out. His eyes are shaking in their slots and his hand is gripping at his own jeans above the knee.

"-- god--.. Kyungsoo-- have you ever.. uh.... Have you ever done any of the things you write about..?"

Kyungsoo was in the middle of reaching for his glass of lemonade, but with such a question his hand shook so hard he almost knocked the glass over. Eyes wide and heart blasting in his ears. 

"N-No. Never.. Why..?"

Cautiously Kyungsoo turns to stare at Chanyeol, who seems to blush as red as Kyungsoo feels his own cheeks must look. 

Barely anything of what Chanyeol had said until now managed to reach Kyungsoo's conscious understanding yet.

"Would you want to? I mean-- to try-- and.. Uh.. Maybe try them with me..? Sometime. Not now. That'd be creepy. Not that what you write is creepy-- Just doing such things right away is a bit.. Well-- I just--.. Maybe after some months? Or years? If you're comfortable and-- uh.."

Kyungsoo's eyes are focused on Chanyeol's face. His eyes are turning to look all over the place while he speaks, along with his hands. 

What.. is he saying..?

"Kyungsoo."

He takes a long breath and exhales loudly before leaning in closer to Kyungsoo and grabbing his hand between his own two big palms, tugging between the fingers with his own and rubbing his thumb over the back of Kyungsoo's hand.

"Kyungsoo, I love you. Please go out with me."

Kyungsoo saw Chanyeol's head moving closer and closer into his sight until there was nothing else, his beautiful face right in front of him, so deep into his personal space. But it doesn't feel wrong. It doesn't feel like his social right for distance is being violated. 

On the contrary, it feels like Chanyeol had always belonged in there to begin with.

"Yeah... Okay.."

His whisper was swallowed by Chanyeol's lips on his own. 

It's soft. It's soft and smooth and pleasant just like Kyungsoo had always imagined it'd be. 

Warmth spreads through his body when Chanyeol leads the kiss on. 

Prying way through the gap between Kyungsoo upper and lower lips, Chanyeol slides into his mouth and begins exploring with his tongue. 

It's sweet. It's sweet and gentle and delicious just like Kyungsoo had always imagined it'd be.

Their lips practice as a cage for the sloppy tongue wrestling that they're engaged in. 

Kyungsoo's world has disappeared into the void, and all that exists is Chanyeol. Chanyeol's big hand resting on the side of his neck and jaw, Chanyeol's arm slowly pulling Kyungsoo closer to his big body that Kyungsoo's fingers can finally run over and feel for himself.

Hot breathes leave their noses quickly since their mouths are occupied with exchanging the flavours Kyungsoo tries to carve into his memory.

Neither of them knows how long had passed, but once they both are finally able to breathe and restore the oxygen levels in their bodies, Kyungsoo finds himself on top of Chanyeol's lap. 

Wrapped with two layers of blankets and another warmer layer of Chanyeol's arms. Both his legs are directed to the left side of the couch, and he's pretty glad they didn't get to the stage of straddling yet because otherwise he'd explode on spot.

Chanyeol's head is resting on top of his own, and it's extremely comfortable since he's rested against the creak of Chanyeol's shoulder. 

To test the waters Kyungsoo attempts to move a few fingers, finding that they are located on Chanyeol's lower back with his arms resting on each side of Chanyeol's waist.

They are both quiet. It isn't clear whether the heart beat he hears belongs to Chanyeol or himself. 

Either way, the only thing that bothers the peace is Kyungsoo's mind finally connecting the dots and bringing up the result of this whole situation.

His body jerks lightly and he burries his face deeper down, into Chanyeol's broad chest. 

So.. They are dating now. They are together. So Chanyeol's flirts with D.O were just practice because he couldn't try them on Kyungsoo himself out of fear of rejection.. So Chanyeol has actually been liking Kyungsoo, him, himself, for this past year, and not the non existent cousin he pretended to be.

After a short while of more quiet breathing, Kyungsoo slowly pulls back, raising his face up to look at Chanyeol, who seems to have the most gentle most fond expression he'd ever seen. 

His eyes are shining with affection and his lips are pulled up in a smile he's pretty sure Chanyeol has no control over.

"S-So you think I'm cute..?"

With a quiet voice and deep red cheeks he finally asked. And the laughter growing from the depths of Chanyeol's chest makes the both of them shake due to their position.

"Everything I've said and this is what you're worried about?"

"W-Well--.."

"Yes. I think you're endearing. Sweet and loveable."

Chanyeol leans his head a little closer and brushes his nose over Kyungsoo's, slowly going upwards until his lips clash onto Kyungsoo's forehead in a soft peck.

"One day I'll find the perfect pick up line you wouldn't be able to counter."

"In your dreams, Park Chanyeol."

"My dreams will be busy with other things..."

"... Oh my god, stop."

Kyungsoo pulls one hand back from behind Chanyeol and lightly pushes it onto the giant's smirking lips while pouting shyly. 

What the hell did he just sign up to?

--

Work continues as usual. Nothing changes in they way they interact with each other there. 

It's not like there's much to hide, since they are both pretty much busy with work and don't exactly have any particular chances to expose their affection anywhere in the building. 

But they both know their choice is putting them at great risk. Everytime they go out for a simple lunch out of the studio Chanyeol is hoarded by fans. He is used to it of course, and everyone knows Kyungsoo is simply a coworker, so they're being careful. 

Everytime they go out for a movie Chanyeol's being stopped to sign some autographs. Only at the darkness of the theatre they are able to hold hands beneath the seats.

Chanyeol's latest album has put him up on par with some other legendary musicians in the industry, and Kyungsoo-- well, D.O's stories recieved so much recognition that a publishing company requested that he'd write a story they could release physically. 

A novel. Not just on the digital platforms he's been using. 

It's winter again and the small christmas party Chanyeol prepared for some close friends, including Baekhyun, was a great success. 

Other than Baekhyun and the couple themselves, nobody knows of their blossoming relationship.

The christmas gift Kyungsoo recieved this year was a ticket to Florida US, and for some reason it was surprisingly easy to convince Chanyeol's manager to agree to the trip. 

Probably because Kyungsoo's sense of responsibility is noticeable. Well, at least he tries to act like he has any of it. 

They spent two weeks there, visiting any beautiful beach at any hour of the day, taking pictures (mostly of Chanyeol) in every location they pass by, enjoying the heat and the sun and getting tanned in the process. 

Every night at the hotel they do a checkup on each other, to see exactly up until where these tanlines reach. Spoiling each other with kisses and affection and bringing some of Kyungsoo's greatest fantasies to life. 

Many tipsy improvised karaoke nights in the hotel room were included, too.

It was exactly what they needed. 

When they return, their whole pace of life intertwined into harmony. They are both convinced they spend more time at each other's places than their own. 

The biggest fight they've ever gotten into was after Kyungsoo went on a cleaning spree in Chanyeol's apartment, but right when he finished he found a dirty sock in the living room. 

Chanyeol insisted it wasn't him who put it there, and eventually the culprint was found to be no other than Toben.

"So how many has it been until now?"

"I don't know.. five, maybe even seven."

"It's not that bad, he never made you keep them for longer than a week, right?"

Kyungsoo sighs and rubs the bridge of his nose underneath the glasses.

"I guess so. It still doesn't make it okay to just bring them here and force me t--"

A knock on the door.

"Speaking of the devil..." 

Kyungsoo mumbles to himself while getting up to the door and Baekhyun laughs in amusement while sipping on his juice.

"Kyungsoo!! Okay, I know. I know you don't like it but please--!! Look at it--!!"

Chanyeol shoves his big palms towards Kyungsoo at the moment the door is unlocked and Kyungsoo's nonchalant cold expression doesn't phase him, nor his puppy eyes.

Looking down, Kyungsoo sees a really small bird with a twisted wing. Poor thing...

"Chanyeol.. Why do you--"

"Please, please. I'll take care of it, I can't keep it at home with Toben around."

"You always say this but I'm the one that ends up doing everything."

Kyungsoo glances up at him with a pout, and Chanyeol's stressed expression turns into a smile when he leans in and pecks Kyungsoo's lips.

"Only for a week."

"Chanyeo--"

"Please."

A heavy sigh.

"Fine."

Once the two make their way inside Baekhyun's already standing up with anticipation to see Kyungsoo's new week-long staying guest. He hops towards Chanyeol and peeks into his hands before making some cooing noises at the clueless bird holed inside.

It doesn't come as a surprise when D.O's next fanfiction revolves around Chanyeol saving a bird during the spring.

"Hey, just so you know.. The reason I wanted to meet D.O so bad back then was... because I wanted to ask her about you.."

Chanyeol confessed one day, in an early morning of a weekend. His voice deep, hoarse and raspy from behind Kyungsoo's frame.

"It's way too early for this.."

"Yeah. I just.. had to say it."

Chanyeol's hand is resting on Kyungsoo's stomach, and the warmth is so soothing, he feels like he's healing while his eyes slowly shut again.

"Mmh.."

Some days. 

On evenings when Kyungsoo feels particularly cold, a simple text saying 'Come for a bit?' is enough to bring Chanyeol over with a delivery of their favourite bakery's goods. 

At times like these Chanyeol lets himself in with his own spare key and grins all the way inside. 

Kyungsoo often feels like Chanyeol is trying to torture him, because after placing the bag on the coffee table he always takes s o  l o n g to make them hot chocolate.

That's okay, because when beaming Chanyeol finally sits down, Kyungsoo gets the most amazing cuddles. 

Their limbs fit together perfectly in the most comfortable positions. 

And when his head is resting on Chanyeol's chest, hearing the slow soothing beat of his heart, Kyungsoo is with Chanyeol. 

And he closes his eyes. 

And he's home.

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Hey guys, thank you so much for sticking around and reading the story!
I wonder if you caught up to the little detail that breaks the 4th wall haha.

I had an amazing time writing this fic even with all the angst involved. Let me know what you think! ♡

Also come cry with me about chansoo here.