“Jinho hyung.”

The Japanese boy sat up quickly, putting his book down on the bed, beside him and looked at his hyung, a bit surprised to find him in his room this late.

“Can you…” Jinho looked over at Wooseok’s sleeping figure for a second before looking back at Yuto. “Can we hang out?”

“Now?” The taller of the two, raised his eyebrows slightly in question, but moved nonetheless, already getting out of bed and pushing Jinho gently out of the room, following him and closing the door behind him.

“Is everything alright?” He whispered, trying to disturb the silence of the dorm as less as possible.

“I just want to go out.” The older replied simply, almost impatiently taking Yuto’s hand and pulling him towards the door. “Put some shoes on…” he added, already crouching down to wear his own shoes.

“But, where are we going?” Yuto blinked, looking down at his sweatpants and t-shirt, his usual sleeping attire, before noticing Jinho was dressed similarly. “We’re not going out like this?”

“I want some air. Let’s go up.” The shorter boy offered a small smile and then waited for Yuto to wear his shoes as well.

Jinho was physically and emotionally drained. That was his current state and he knew he needed to take a break, to chill. He was trying not to strain himself, but with the comeback it was really hard, they barely had time to breathe, let alone do anything else. Yanan’s absence wasn’t helping either and half the time he was finding himself looking over at Changgu, making sure he was alright. He knew he wasn’t the only one as much as he knew Changgu had Hongseok to lean on, like most of the Pentagon family. It was still making them all that much more vulnerable, easy to break under pressure and the effort to stay strong and do well that much more exhausting.

If half of the time he was looking out for Changgu, the other half was reserved for Yuto. That was nothing new, but with his current emotional state and the way his heart decided to act up during the last month it was becoming harder for him to control his mind. The Japanese boy was just everywhere – of course he was, the time when he hadn’t been was already a blur to Jinho, but even if he hadn’t been, the small vocalist would’ve felt his presence – to the point that he wasn’t sure if he were sane anymore.

He was trying his hardest not to act any different than he used to. However, he knew that at some point he started acting weird and maybe that’s why sometimes it felt like he wasn’t the only one aware of his feelings for Yuto. It felt like the majority of Pentagon family, if not all, secretly rooted for them to get together. At least that was what it looked like to Jinho. He noticed all the subtle stares he was getting from his dongsaengs or the way they would slip out of the room from time to time, leaving the two of them alone.

It wasn’t exactly helpful, simply because Jinho had no idea how to act anymore. He was trying to be “normal”, but that was so tiring as well – on top of everything else. And it started getting so uncomfortable, hiding something he would’ve rather just spilled and showed and at the same time doing all the skinship they were used to, like it wasn’t affecting him at all. Sometimes, he would ask himself was it worth it and then questions about possible scenarios that could come out of his feelings getting exposed would follow, throwing his mind and heart into even bigger despair. He was sure he was rather obvious by this point, yet Yuto was acting the same. He had no idea what was going through the younger one’s head, the only thing he could notice were small questioning looks he was getting when he was particularly off, but Yuto kept it at that, patiently keeping his mouth shut, only his eyes stating the familiar ‘I’ll wait for you’.

The vocalist also started paying more attention to the taller boy – if that was even possible. Or well, he started paying attention to different things, trying to find some clues. The feelings that only seemed to grow as time passed were threatening to spill over after all, make themselves known, so he figured it was time to take some precautious measures – meaning he had to try to see if there really was something there on the other side or was he destined to one-sided love. Jinho wasn’t fond of the idea of taking the role of a tragic character. He just had to find out what he was dealing with here before that happened.

It was hard. Surprise, surprise – when was anything easy in Jinho’s life? Except, maybe, being drawn to Yuto by an unknown, irresistible force. The story ended there, the Japanese boy was so hard to read beyond the realm of their own little world everyone outside of it already had known. Every touch and every look could go both ways and thinking about reading the true meaning behind the gestures only made the older boy’s mind swirl in more questions. At some point he decided to be positive about it, hoping the road his thoughts were taking now, patronizing his heart, wasn’t just his wishful thinking. At some point he just knew there will be time – sooner than later when he will just have to do something about it.

When he decided to just get out of his bed, out of his dorm and go look for the younger boy the thought that maybe the time has come didn’t even register. Instead, Jinho was just busy thinking how badly he wanted to see him, even if they had parted less than four hours ago. Thoughts about him being especially irrational – they were in the middle of their promotions when any amount of sleep was precious and especially needy – to the point it will surely show, were expertly pushed aside. He really was crazy tonight, wasn’t he? He was so exhausted, tired of everything really – from schedules to Yanan and Changgu all the way to Yuto and maybe it was truly enough. He couldn’t afford overthinking anymore. He had no strength left to.

Yuto inhaled the fresh air once they reached the rooftop, a small smile appearing on his face before he felt the older boy tugging him gently towards the bench in the middle of it. He took a seat, looking over at Jinho, who instead looked up at the sky. So the taller one followed his gaze, looking up as well.

He couldn’t remember when was the last time he had the time to look up at sky like this, the sight before him giving him a strange sense of comfort, brushing the tiredness and worries away. It was relaxing in such a soothing way, but he couldn’t be sure if it would’ve been if he had been here alone, if the warmth of Jinho’s beautiful fingers around his own hadn’t been there.

“We haven’t done this in a while.” The older one softly said and Yuto wordlessly nodded. It was easy to give into the silence, into the peaceful feeling the dark sky was giving. It was easy to quickly push away the loud and hectic life they were living at the moment. It was almost sad – even if they chose that life, even if they loved it. Jinho still felt restless, the firm grip he had on the younger boy’s hand giving it away.

“Jinho hyung…” Yuto started, still not looking down from the sky and furrowing his eyebrows slightly, not sure what exactly he wanted to say. He knew something in Jinho has changed over the last couple of months. He couldn’t tell exactly when, maybe because he wasn’t sure if it was something as simple as their hectic schedule, the fact they were promoting as nine at the moment or if it was something more than that, but his hyung was different – or at least his behavior was.

“Yuto-yah, look.” The small vocalist whispered excitedly and smiled, his eyes following a trail of a falling star. He was amazed by it, simply because he couldn’t recall if he has ever seen one before. He would’ve surely remembered if he had, right? And then his thoughts took an embarrassing turn as he compared himself to it – the star fell and disappeared, what if he will too, in the sea of his love for Yuto? What if he already had?

“Did you catch it?” he looked over at the younger boy, seeing him nod, his eyes still glued to the sky. Jinho watched him for a moment. Maybe the star was a sign – Jinho wasn’t really the one to believe in such things, it was something he would’ve accepted from others, deciding to play along because it was fun. But he was usually the rational one, not believing in things like fate or destiny. His heart wasn’t rational though, so it just skipped a beat and he accepted that as well.

 “Did you make a wish?” He decided to ask another question and this time Yuto looked back at him.

“I’m not telling if that’s your next question.” The Japanese boy smiled, playfully, but warmly gazing at him, making Jinho smile lightly too. “You?”

“How come you get to ask then?” The older one chuckled, soon smiling again and looking down at their hands. “I made a decision instead.”

“A decision?” Yuto tilted his head a bit, looking down at their hands as well, at Jinho’s thumb lightly caressing his palm, his skin tingling from the sensation.

“What do you want Yuto?” The shorter one asked, his voice still soft, but firm – the tone so familiar to Yuto. Jinho most of the time sounded so effortlessly strong, not leaving space for doubt – the weight of meaningful words like ‘I’ll wait for you’ – reserved for Yuto, only making him the source of Yuto’s greatest strength. This time he asked a question though – the question the younger one had no idea how to respond to.

Jinho bit his lip as he was met with silence, wondering if his question was too vague. Yuto probably had no idea what it meant, what he was asking and no matter how firm he made himself sound the truth was that he wasn’t sure himself what kind of answer he was looking for. So he made another decision – to make it easier for the younger one… and maybe make it more clear. Another promise.

“I’ll follow you.”

He was surprised by his own voice this time. He tried to sound as confident and firm as he usually was around Yuto, but his heart had decisions on its own.

“I’ll follow you no matter what you want.” Jinho added, not even sure if it was a confession or not, but feeling it was a clumsy one if it was one. He looked up slowly, meeting Yuto’s eyes, watching as his words sank in, noticing the change behind beautiful black orbs and the way the younger one squeezed his hand slightly, as if on reflex.

The silence was overwhelming and it felt like it was stretching to an eternity. Jinho had no idea what to do, but he couldn’t speak and it didn’t feel right to do anything else, but wait. The weight of his words was hanging in the air, suffocating him and Yuto’s eyes were still on him, yet he didn’t dare look away. He was painfully aware of the way he was looking back at the Japanese boy, aware that it was obvious those weren’t stars reflecting in his eyes, just as he was aware of his palm getting moist because he was so nervous, so exposed, yet he didn’t dare move it away from Yuto’s – as if any kind of movement of his would make things worse.

Yuto moved instead. First his fingers laced around the older boy’s and then he was getting closer in what seemed to be newly found confidence. Jinho couldn’t help but stare, his heart drumming at his chest at the sight of the handsome boy invading his private space inch by inch in a blink of a second before he was pulled into a kiss, much more needy than he would’ve expected. And he really hadn’t expected at all – and that itself was breathtaking.

So they kissed. Clumsy at first, with somewhat surprised Jinho and suddenly needy Yuto, lips obviously not speaking the same language upon the first meeting. The older one stopped his mind from spiraling down at some point, responding to the kiss as firmly as his words were, taking control and feeling Yuto suddenly relax. This was more comfortable, this was what they were like and when the vocalist’s tongue came in contact with the younger’s lower lip the entrance was granted instantly. It was fast, the pieces were falling into place, their tongues were dancing together, their hands still clasped tightly around each other and it was just the two of them again, their hearts beating together, pushing them high up into that dark sky above them to illuminate it, forming the world of their own once again.

Yuto moved again, breaking the kiss and taking an audible breath before he opened his eyes to look at Jinho. He didn’t move away, but just smiled when his hyung looked back at him, suddenly looking smaller than he usually appeared to him and that much more adorable. Jinho returned the smile, moving his free hand into the younger one’s hair gently and pressed their lips together again, in a short, loving peck.

“I was terrified.” He admitted when the Japanese boy moved to rest his head in the crook of his neck.

“God, hyung… that’s… ridiculous.” Yuto replied, chuckling a bit. A moment passed before he decided to speak again. “You know… the sky is nice, but I don’t really miss the stars. I make sure to always have one beside me.” He grinned shamelessly.

“Did you seriously just say that?” Jinho laughed as well and the tall rapper closed his eyes, enjoying the beautiful sound of the vocalist’s laugh ringing through the dark night. It died out slowly, letting them bask in newly found comforting silence and warmth they shared together. A long moment has passed before the silence was broken again.

“I wished for hyung to love me back.”