You are just sitting there and suddenly you remember him and it spurs your curiosity how he is now, and you breathe harder as you finger touches the search bar and you start typing his name, his name that you used to write without hesitation but that was something else two years ago, his account pops up and you click it trying to get over the fact that your heart is beating when you saw his picture that reminded you of every detail of his face, you scroll down as you notice that he didn't change his profile picture from the last time you checked it, you kept scrolling down trying to find anything that will tell you what you want to know, that maybe he's thinking about you too, but you find nothing to fulfill your desires but you do find a picture of him smiling with some of his buddies and I don't mean that cheap smile he used to smile, I'm talking about a big one where his teeth are showing and there's a sparkle in his eyes, and it breaks your heart because now all you can remember is trying so hard to help him get over whatever was killing him, his soul, you were trying so hard to be that storm that leaves nothing behind, you were trying to creep into his heart and fix what was suffocating him but all your efforts were just a drop of rain fell into a torrent, a falling leaf of a tree that just passed autumn, a piece of paper in a box of memories that is tucked in drawer behind some unnecessary stuff, and you breath shortens and your heart's contraction