The closer Wendy got to home the heavier the dread seemed to weigh on her. If she felt so wrong now, it must have been wrong, right? Except in the moment, it felt so good, so intense. But now all she could think about was Seulgi and how she would feel. I’m such a horrible friend. Who goes and kisses their best friend’s date?

She exited the elevator preparing herself to face Seulgi, but the moment the door opened and Seulgi’s warm face was revealed and she pulled her in excitedly, the thing she had been so worried about was easily pushed to the back of her mind.

“Seulgi, if you keep chopping at that speed we’re never going to eat. I thought you said you were going to be a natural.”

“That was before I found out how dangerous it was. If I make one slip up, there goes my career and income. I’d be forced to mooch off you for the rest of our lives. Does that sound good to you?” Seulgi said as she cautiously chopped at the celery.

“I make plenty enough for the both of us. I just want to eat.”

It may have been a small thing, but Wendy’s reply implied that she would be okay with having Seulgi around forever. She smirked at the idea of Wendy being her sugar mama. It didn’t even sound that ludicrous as long as she was with Wendy. She thought about voicing it, but she had a better idea.

Seulgi said instead, “Then can you show me again, please? I swear I’ll get it this time.”

“Again?” Wendy smiled and wiped her hands on a towel so she could take the knife from Seulgi. “Honestly, how did you live so long without me?”

“Who knows? If you hadn’t entered the picture, I’m sure I’d be one of those crazy artists doing who knows what. I know a couple of ‘em personally, and I gotta say, I’m thankful for you.”

Wendy bumped Seulgi lightly with a smile. “Oh, don’t be dramatic. I’m sure you wouldn’t be too bad.”

“Hahah right. Maybe not toooo bad.”

Wendy reached her hand out for the knife, but Seulgi wasn’t about to hand it over. “Can you guide me instead? I think I could learn better that way. I’m an artist. I like to know the feel of things.” Was it cheap? Maybe, but Seulgi wanted to get her closer. She wanted to know if she had the same effect on Wendy as before.

Wendy only paused a moment before stepping behind Seulgi and reaching her arms around her so she could set her hands over Seulgi’s. Seulgi didn’t know how the proximity was effecting Wendy, but it was certainly doing a number on her. She wondered if Wendy could feel how fast her heart was beating.

“Well first of all, you should fix how you’re holding the knife.” Wendy maneuvered Seulgi’s hand so it was properly placed. “You get more support this way.”

Seulgi was hardly paying attention to the details of her instruction. How could she when she could feel the warmth of Wendy on her back? “It’s amazing that we didn’t do this sooner, huh?” She would have thrown herself at the chance if she knew things could have been like this. She could feel the laughter from her favorite girl behind her. Things really couldn’t get better.

“I know right? I allowed you to be lazy for too long. I’ll expect meals from you soon.” She moved Seulgi’s other hand in place to hold the celery.

How could Seulgi think about the celery in front of her when Wendy’s arms were wrapped around her again?

“As long as I can get more lessons like this from you, I would love to pick up cooking.”

Wendy froze behind her. Not because she didn’t like the pleasant warmth that was sent through her at the words, but because there was also the guilt from the kiss she shared with Irene.

Wendy knew that she didn’t need to feel guilt over it. Seulgi and her weren’t together anymore.

But when Seulgi turned to look at her reaction, and she realized then that Seulgi never stopped looking at her with love, she felt she owed her the truth.

“Seulgi…” Wendy didn’t have to tell her, but she needed to.

Seulgi heard the hesitance in Wendy’s voice, and was afraid it meant that Wendy didn’t feel the same way anymore. Bravery wasn’t really Seulgi’s thing, but if telling her how she still felt gave her a chance, she was going to take it. “Wendy, when we split up, I did it only because I thought I was doing the best thing for you. I knew you needed to focus on work, so I gave you space so you’d never have to worry about me. But at some point, I figured we’d get back together. I still want us to be together.”

“Seulgi-” Wendy wanted to tell her then. To lay everything on the table, but Seulgi had opened a can that couldn’t be closed. She wanted Wendy to know everything.

“There was one point I almost gave up on us. When you never gave any interest in the two of us getting back together, I thought maybe I could be content seeing you happy with someone else. I thought that girl at the party could be a test for me. Could I really let you go?”

“When she wasn’t there, I thought “thank god”. Then Irene comes along, and I thought maybe I just need a good distraction, but the more I see her looking at you… She was never into me.”

“And the image, the thought, of you in someone else’s arms… It drives me insane. We’re perfect for each other. There has never been someone that makes me feel the way you do. I’m not sure there ever will be, and you belong in my arms.”

Seulgi was so close, she needed only to lean down a little to kiss Wendy. She’s longed for it for so long, she knew she couldn’t wait anymore.

Wendy stepped out of Seulgi’s space, ending Seulgi’s previous thought.

“Irene kissed me today,” Wendy searched Seulgi’s face for a reaction, but she didn’t react. She seemed frozen, so Wendy added on out of nervousness. “And I-I let her.”

Seulgi gulped back a bit of nausea. It wasn’t all too unexpected. Once the look of hurt passed over Seulgi’s features, it was replaced with a look of determination.

Seulgi took a step forward, back into Wendy’s space. “And if I were to try and kiss you now, would you stop me?”

Wendy stared into Seulgi’s eyes, thrown back. She didn’t expect this sort of reaction. She glanced at her old lover’s lips and subtly shook her head. She did miss the way they felt on hers, and she couldn’t deny it now. Not when Seulgi was so close, looking at her the way she did in their most heated moments.

Once Wendy gave the consent, Seulgi moved in, capturing her lips in a hungry kiss.

It’d been so long since their last kiss, but to Seulgi everything was just as magical as before. If not even more because of her longing for it.

Then Seulgi heard the small pleased noise come from Wendy’s throat sounding so sweet, she couldn’t help but want more, and she couldn’t stop herself from taking it.

Seulgi pressed into Wendy until her back hit the counter, and in attempt to get more balance, Wendy wrapped her arms around Seulgi’s neck pulling her closer, as if they weren’t close enough already.

Seulgi’s hands, acting as if they had wills of their own, raked up and down Wendy’s curves. God, Seulgi had missed every single part of her.

Seulgi thought that this meant that they were going to be back together. That from this point on, they wouldn’t have to worry about Irene anymore. It would have been perfect, but eventually Wendy’s hands slid down from her neck to her chest. When she felt the slight pressure, she almost felt weak enough to cry. Their kiss must have meant something to her.

“Seulgi.” Wendy panted lightly. She had her forehead pressed to Seulgi’s now, still wanting to be close.

“What’s wrong? If it’s about Irene, I don’t care about her. I only ever cared about you. Let’s forget about her.” Seulgi tried desperately.

Wendy liked hearing that just about as much as it hurt. “I can’t…” I can’t throw Irene away so easily.

Seulgi suddenly dropped her arms from Wendy’s waist and took a healthy step back. “She’s your mystery girl from the party, isn’t she?” Irene went over to them because of Wendy after all… And when she saw that Wendy didn’t remember her, she probably felt hurt and made a move on me.

Seeing the look in Seulgi’s eyes, something that looked like defeat, was enough to make her want to lie again, but she couldn’t. She owed her the truth. “Yes, she is. I wanted to tell you, but you two seemed to hit it off and I didn’t want to ruin that.”

Seulgi scoffed. More out of a sad fondness than anything. Wendy was probably the only person that would do something so selfless like that. She was forever putting her before herself. But what did it mean that she was so willing to give the both of them up just like that?

It meant that Wendy was too dangerously selfless and dumb for her own good. It also meant that Wendy truly deserved the world, and she wanted to be the one to give it to her. But if it couldn’t be her, someone had to give it to her, right?

“Be honest with me, okay?” Wendy nodded. “What did it feel like when she kissed you?” Seulgi was afraid to hear the answer, but she had to know.

Wendy had to pause a moment and find the right word for it. “Like fire.” The kiss was singed in Wendy’s brain, and she knew it wouldn’t be leaving anytime soon.

Seulgi swallowed hard, disappointed by the answer. “And when I kissed you?”

Seulgi’s touch had always shot through Wendy’s veins leaving her buzzing, and it hadn’t changed now. “It felt electric.”

And that answer left her feeling hopeful, leaving her with a stronger determination to win back her heart fully. “Wendy, I’m not letting you go, I hope you know that. I always felt that we were meant to be, and our little separation was just a little bump in the road, so don’t write me out. That’s all I ask of you right now.”

Wendy had only nodded then, and they had resumed dinner in a much more friendly fashion. Wendy knew it was all for her sake, and she really appreciated it.

It was all so much at once, and Wendy wasn’t exactly well versed in this sort of situation.

Which is exactly why she was wide awake in her bed right now. She never expected to be in the middle of a love triangle, and she wish she never had been. It . Having romantic feelings for two people that returned those feelings felt dreadful. It felt wrong. It went against everything she had ever believed in.

Please sleep. Please sleep. Please sleep. She chanted tying to free her thoughts of the two women that were filling up her mind.

There was Seulgi, the woman she had let go because she couldn’t live with the thought that she was hurting her. All those times Wendy had shown up to dinner late or canceling dinner all together, facing those hurt beautiful brown eyes, or hearing that sulky sweet tone, gave her enough strength to let go. Only in hope that Seulgi would find someone more worthy of her. She had no idea that the separation is what hurt Seulgi most of all. Not only that, but the lovely woman had put a positive spin on it, claiming it was only part of their journey. It made Wendy clutch her heart in regret. Seulgi deserved so much more than that.

And then there was Irene. What should have been one night’s mistake had, instead, been seared into her brain, leaving her with want. Then Irene adds a new kiss to the equation, and ruins her will to let it go. It would be something new and different, and maybe worth trying. Or maybe a mistake. A mistake that could ruin an amazing thing she already has.

I just want to sleep. Seize my thoughts for just a moment.

Yoo

much love to y'all