joshua was sitting atop his bed in his own place. he used to share a dorm with jeonghan, but ever since he found out he had been replaced by seungcheol, joshua needed time to himself for a bit. he was just sitting there quietly with a book in his hands, but he didn't even bother to open it and read it. his phone was placed beside him, bursting with messages from his friends asking how he was doing. joshua usually ignored them, but one of them stood out.

beaglecheol: can we talk?

he shook his head in frustration and finally grabbed his phone from beside him. joshua then replied to seungcheol.

joshthehong: what do you want?

beaglecheol: i want to fix things with the three of us

joshthehong: why do you even bother messaging me?

beaglecheol: haven't you heard?
beaglecheol: there are rumors about us and it's affecting the others too

joshthehong: so is this just to save your reputation or something?

seungcheol didn't reply to his message. joshua smirked and thought to himself, 'that's what i thought'. then he heard someone knocking on the door to his dorm. he groaned as silently as he could and picked himself up from his position, walking out the bedroom and into the living room to open the door. when he opened it, he was greeted by two people he knew very well.

"wait, taehee, kai?" he said confused. "what are you guys doing here?"

"to talk," kai replied simply. she tried to step into his dorm, but joshua stepped to the side and blocked her way. 

"is this gonna be about jeonghan and seungcheol?" he asked. "because if it is, i don't wanna talk about it at right now, and it would be best if you left me alone."

kai rolled her eyes and told him rudely, "you need to get over it at //some point, you know." taehee nudged kai in the ribs roughly and gave her a cold glare before telling joshua instead, "what kai means is that you need to fix things with them. you won't be able to move on from this whole dilemma unless you try to make things right yourself."

kai looked at her in mock surprise. "wow, something smart came out of you for once." joshua ignored what kai said and replied nonchalantly, "i'd rather not talk about this or anything else related to this, now please leave me alone now."

he tried to close the door but taehee's for stoped it from closing any further, she sighed exasperatedly. "well, we tried going the easy way. now we go the hard way." she pushed the door back open, and past him with the tall older girl following closely behind her, leaving an irritated joshua by the door glaring at them.

the two girls took their seats on the couch in the living room. joshua stood in the same place still staring at them blankly. "well, what are you waiting for? let's not wait for the grass to grow!" kai beckoned him over to an armchair placed beside the couch they sat on. taehee gave her a look and commented, "you spend too much time with a book geek."

"so seungcheol told us that he tried fixing stuff with you a few minutes ago," kai mentioned while joshua groaned internally. "he also told us that he tried to fix things too many times, but you always back out." taehee and kai look at each other before giving their full attention to joshua. "you wanna tell us what you guys talked about?"

"we didn't talk about anything. he just said he wanted to fix stuff because of the rumors, and i just voiced my opinions," he answered her. it was really lying if you didn't tell the whole truth, it was just a bit like summarizing.

"and what was your opinion?"

joshua paused before reluctantly replying, "i said that he was just doing this to fix his reputation."

taehee sighed at his previous actions towards their older friend. "josh, look, you love jeonghan, right?"

"i don't think it takes that short amount of time to love someone. maybe it's just like for now," kai interjected, but taehee and joshua continued on nonetheless.

"i used to love him. well, i think i did, but now, i don't think i can anymore," he bitterly replied, looking down at the floor as if he wanted to strangle it.

"you should try moving on now," kai suggested. "it doesn't have to be too fast, but trying to mend your relationship with seungcheol and jeonghan would be a good start."

he gave her a look that said: 'really? that's all you gotta say?' then he protested, "but they're the ones who went behind my back! do you know how it feels to like someone so much only to be back stabbed right after?" 

the two girls went silent, and he continued to whisper quietly, his voice cracking as he did, "do you know how it feels to think you wasted your love on someone that just throws it away?"

while joshua wasn't paying attention, the two girls were sending each other looks and whispering to each other about what they could do to make the situation better. 

"how do we get them to see each other face to face now?" taehee whispered violently to kai. she gestured to the boy seated near them, slumped down in his chair and said, "he's ing broken, and he can't even try to get over this right now!"

"that's why we need to set his thoughts straight," argued kai. "he needs to learn what really happened and how all of them feel about this. not just how he feels."

then an idea popped in taehee's mind, and kai could practically see a light bulb lighting up. "i have an idea. you go therapist mode, and i do the rest."

joshua could hear snippets of their hushed conversation, but he tried to drown out their voices as his thoughts took over. 'i am so stupid,' he thought sadly. 'if i noticed the little signs, i wouldn't need to be in this position.' 

"hey, josh," said kai in a gentle voice.

he looked up at her and just nodded to show that he was listening because he knew if he tried to say another word out loud, he would burst into tears. 

"taehee needs to go get something at her place, she said it might help out with the situation,"she told him, not changing the gentle sound of her voice as she rubbed his shoulder comfortingly. he nodded, and the tall girl nodded at the other to go and get what she needed.

they sat in silence once their other friend left. kai was kneeling beside joshua's chair on the floor, rubbing his shoulder to comfort him somehow while he stared blankly at nothing, trying not to break and start sobbing. 

"kai?" he said.

kai peeked up at the sound of his soft voice and said, "yeah?"

"remember when you said you would tell me why you were aual before?" kai nodded, remembering the event he was talking about. then he asked her, "can you tell me now?"

she hesitated before nodding and agreeing with him. "when i was in middle school," she started, "everyone started having crushes, and i didn't really have one yet. some were even in relationships already, but they were pretty immature, and it wasn't like real love or relationships at all. but as we started to grow older, and we reached high school, i kept on watching my friends fall in and out of relationships, constantly falling in love with people and saying they were meant to be."

"i tried to get into relationships, trying to force myself to have feelings for people because that's what you're supposed to do, right? but after a while, i met a guy. he was tall, good looking, smart, funny, pretty much all i looked for in a guy. i got close to him because you know me, i'm never really shy to start a conversation. i thought i was falling for him because i thought i liked being his friend. i liked him 'cause he was that kind of people person that was liked by pretty much everyone. i thought that enjoying someone's company and platonically liking a person was love 'cause i was inexperienced and dumb." kai paused to take a deep breath and let it out in a sigh.

she continued, "dating never crossed my mind, but at that time, i thought that the guy was perfect, i wanted to try it out. you know what he did? he ing laughed in my face and said that i was stupid for this that i felt and thought. after that went down, i built up my walls higher and promised myself i wouldn't fall in love again. then i realized i was aromantic aual because i realized i never really like-liked the guy. when i was talking to hansol one time, i asked him why he loved seungkwan so much. i was really touched and emotional because of the answer, but i never really wished to feel or go through something like that because you know, the whole story i told you."

"wow," he said, not knowing what else to say. "just wow."

before kai could reply to him, they heard knocks on the door and someone yelling out, "it's yours truly!" they looked at each other and the kai said, "that's definitely taehee."

joshua walked to the door and opened it, revealing the short girl that had just left a few minutes before. "i brought a few people that could help you out," she told him before stepping aside and pulling out jeonghan and seungcheol. he turned to the short girl and asked nonchalantly, "what are they doing here?"

"we're here to make things better," seungcheol answered boldly.

joshua rolled his eyes. "whatever. just get inside."

[a/n]:
let me explain kai's auality and back story first because i know i could get hate if it isn't explained properly:

kai watched her friends fall in and out of relationships, constantly falling in love with different people, and saying that they were meant to be. 

she tried to get into relationships, force herself to like people because, that's what you're supposed to do right?

but then she met a guy, he was tall, and good looking, smart and, funny. she got close to him because kai was never the type to be shy to start a conversation. 

she thought she was falling for him, because she liked being his friend. she adored him because he was adored by everyone else. she thought that was liking someone. she thought that enjoying someones company and platonically liking him was love. 

dating never crossed her mind, but seeing that the guy seemed almost perfect, she wanted to try it out. she was turned down and laughed at. she built up he walls and promised herself to never fall for anyone again. 

she realized she was aromantic aual because she realized that she never even liked the guy. when hansol and kai were talking one day, she asked him why he loved seungkwan so much. she was touched by the answer, but never wished she could experience something like that.