"Kyuhyun-ah..." Sungmin repeated, the name suddenly feeling foreign to his tongue. If Sungmin was being honest, waiting outside his fellow members home at strange hours was asking for articles to be written. 

He had suddenly left his humble home with Saeun after months of arguing and liters upon liters of tears- both Saeuns and his own. He stood sheepishly outside Kyuhyuns apartment with his phone and bag as his only belongings. The rest he left behind with Saeun. Their final bittersweet argument drove Sungmin to leave and end their relationship. He indeed loved Saeun and held her close to his heart, but not the way she did to him. She was at most his best friend.

~

"Mini oppa, we can't do this anymore", she cried, voice hoarse and face red with anger and sorrow.

"You're too good to me, you're perfect…”, she shouted, tangling her hand in her hair in frustration.

"Oppa, you've given me everything I've ever wanted with no hesitation. I feel like I can't live up to your expectations”, she let out a sob the last of her strength dissipating.

"No no Saeunnie, you're wrong. I love you.”, He cooed, bringing his arms up to embrace his quivering wife with a small smile and a gentle voice. 

"No! You don’t!”, she smacked his arms away.

"I was so happy when you proposed. I've only ever loved you but... I knew about you and Kyuhyun-ssi I knew you were in love and I was selfish in thinking that I could give you a better life."

"You're all I ever wanted...but I don't deserve you...Kyuhyun does", her words lost in her sobs. Sungmin fell silent at the truth, his own heart shattering at his wife-his best friends hurt and his own hurt he harboured inside. 

~

"Sungmin hyung-“ Kyuhyun started, a confused look on his face, yet his voice audibly cracking, causing both their hearts to throb, quickly interrupted by Sungmin suddenly running into his arms. 

Before the maknae could ask what was wrong or ask what his hyung needed at this hour, Kyuhyun had his arms instinctively wrapped around Sungmins shorter frame, resting his chin atop his head while humming. Their moment of comfort ended as soon as it began once Sungmin pushed the both of them past the door and inside, face still snuggled in Kyuhyuns chest. 

With that, Kyuhyun felt his resolve shatter. Loosening his embrace over his hyung, placed a small kiss on the crown of his head, before letting go and leading him deeper into his apartment. Sungmin, having regained some of his composure, stopped mid-tracks.

“Kyu-ah…”

“Saeunnie and I-“, Sungmin felt tears welling, his vision blurring. 

“I made a mistake Kyuhyun…I was scared”

Kyuhyun froze, his hand still intertwined with Sungmins. Was Kyuhyun hearing correctly? After days of wondering how easily their love had vanished and his lover was back apologizing for a mistake. Betrayal and bitterness began to dance around his memories. He had spent days crying, days drowning himself in singing and gaming. All for his love to return to his life with a “sorry’. He briefly dropped the hand he was holding and turned to face his hyung,

“Sungmin, you left me. After so many years, you left me for some girl you met in a musical! Did all of it mean nothing to you, Mini?”, tears forming with each word he spits out.

“Kyu- I was so scared! At this age, as idols, aren’t we supposed to have families? I tried so hard to be normal. How could we ever have a life together as two men?”, Sungmin retorted, his own bitterness showing.

“How could we tarnish everything all of us- the members have built? ‘Super Junior’s Sungmin and Kyuhyun confirmed to be dating’. The company would never allow it, we would be betraying the members and our parents, Kyu. They wouldn’t want this.”

“Hyung, why did you decide this on your own? I was your boyfriend! You didn’t tell me about your worries. I understand Min, I really do. I'm a man as well.” Kyuhyun cried, salty tears flowing down his face.

“I talked to Noona, and Umma about you. Min, I wanted to marry you. I know it’s not possible in Korea but I want to be with you. I would’ve given up being an idol- being ‘Super Juniors Kyuhyun’, just to be Lee Sungmin’s fiancé…”

Once the shock had subsided at how mature Kyuhyun was about their situation, Sungmin could only watch as Kyuhyun fell deeper in his sobs. The two were pretty much in their 30’s or close, and they were still idols. It was the right time to marry and start families. Sungmin’s heart palpitated painfully at the sight of his true love in a sobbing mess.

“Kyu, I love you and I hurt you and I can’t take that back. I can’t take the year I was away, back. But I’m here Kyu. I’m not asking you to forgive me but I’m here.”, Sungmin said gently, thumbing the tears off his Kyuhyun’s face.

“I made a mistake. That mistake was choosing the pressure over my love for you-“, Kyuhyun listened, still sniffing as Sungmin continued his apology.

“Saeun- she said I was too good for her, that she doesn’t deserve me, you did. But she was wrong…I don’t deserve you…”, he looked away, feeling shame at how he hurt both of his best friends in his selfishness.

“Min, it hurt so much. The day before you left, you were telling me that you loved me and that-“, Kyuhyun started, reaching out to embrace his lover.

“I love you so much. I couldn’t forget you. It was so sudden. You left and before I could wrap my head around it, you were dressed up and saying your vows.”, Sungmin s his arms around Kyuhyuns neck, living trails of kisses as he spoke.

“Cho Kyuhyun-ah. I know, I know. I love you. Only you”.