Flashback

Being the new student in the school brought an uncomfortable yet familiar feeling to Jongin. It’s his third transfer since he entered 5th grade. He’s already in his last year of middle school and he thought that he’s going to spend his last year in his former school but that did not happen.

Transferring from one place to another means transferring school for Jongin. He couldn’t complain because he knew that his mother’s also having a hard time looking for jobs. Settling in that new town meant another process of trying to find new friends. Sometimes he ponders if his effort to make new friends will not bear fruit in the future because he’s going to transfer again.

He barely managed to befriend a same-aged boy in his former school when they moved out. Everything’s temporary for him. Despite those negative thoughts, he always thought that it’s better to try his luck than be disappointed without even doing anything.

Looking around, his eyes spotted a boy sitting on his seat while looking intently at his notes. Jongin noticed that he was scribbling something. After some time, the boy was furiously erasing what he wrote as if he was irritated or angry and somewhat confused. Jongin almost fell from his chair when the boy turned to him, meeting his gaze with a blank expression.

With a small smile, Jongin waved his hand. The boy just looked away without giving any reaction at all. Jongin slowly pulled his hand down before scratching the back of his head, thinking if he did something wrong.

Do Kyungsoo – that’s the boy’s name.

He’s super quiet that you would even forget that he’s there. He always looked like he’s in another world because everytime there’s something happening in the class, he would just be looking outside the window. Jongin wondered if he’s really always like that. Sometimes, he would see Kyungsoo with some bigger guys from the other classes. The thought of Kyungsoo being bullied by those guys once crossed his mind but he never had the courage to ask Kyungsoo. There are things that Jongin couldn’t just meddle with but curiosity’s killing him.

Jogging back to the empty class to get his phone, he started humming a tune. He was about to open the door when he saw Kyungsoo taking his shirt off to change into his P.E. shirt. His back was to Jongin and the latter’s brows bristled when he saw the bruises ranging from blue to purple all over his back. Kyungsoo grunted before leaning on the desk, breathing heavily before holding the side of his abdomen.

Watching was painful. Jongin could only imagine how painful those bruises were.

Kyungsoo only sat on the bench for the whole period of P.E. while the other students played soccer. Jongin, every now and then, would look at Kyungsoo’s direction. Where did he get those bruises? Is he really being bullied? What happened to him?

Days passed and Jongin’s curiosity’s growing by the day.

It was an ordinary evening when Jongin found himself 2 stops away from his bus stop. He slept on the bus so he was not able to get off. Not having enough money to take taxi or the bus again, he decided to walk back.

“Let’s just consider this an exercise,” he mumbled to himself as he walked down the sidewalk. Three minutes passed and his stomach started grumbling. He looked around, trying to see if there’s a convenience store nearby. Spotting one at the end of the alley, he immediately ran to that direction but came to a sudden halt when he saw Kyungsoo being dragged by a man. The latter was shouting and Jongin could tell that he’s drunk.

Considering that the place is away from the busy streets, Jongin asked himself if anyone’s there to witness what’s happening aside from himself. Not knowing why, Jongin started following the two until they stopped in front of a house with green gate. The man pushed Kyungsoo against the wall, making the latter grunt when his back hit the cold concrete.

“YOU SON OF A !!”

Jongin flinched when the man started kicking Kyungsoo on the abdomen. Kyungsoo was curled in a corner and was not making any sound like he was already used to what the man’s doing. Suddenly, the realization that it must be the same man who gave Kyungsoo those bruises hit Jongin.

“YOU THIEF!! HOW DARE YOU STEAL FROM ME!!”

Kyungsoo remained in his position as the man continued kicking him.

“I can’t believe I married your mother and had you as my son. STAND UP!! YOU ING !!”

The man pulled Kyungsoo to stand before pushing him on the wall again. The former picked up a bottle from the side of the wall before smashing it on the road. He wielded the broken bottle towards Kyungsoo, making the latter yelp when it hit his arm. As Kyungsoo lifted his head, he saw Jongin pushing the man on the road. Due to being drunk, the man fell on the ground with a thud, followed by a chain of profanities.

“What are you doing? Run!” Jongin shouted as he grabbed Kyungsoo by the arm, pulling him up and eventually pulling him to escape.

Silence enveloped the two as they say on a bench at the park. Kyungsoo’s arm which was cut by the bottle was already neatly bandaged.

“Why did you not fight back? At the least, why did you not run? Don’t you know the fight or flight reaction? You were being kicked into a pulp but you were not even defending yourself. Do you want to die?”

Jongin knew that he’s already stepping the boundary but he did not care. It was the first time that he ever encountered a person like Kyungsoo and it’s frustrating him like hell.

“Yes. I want to die,” Kyungsoo mumbled as he played with the bottled of water in his hands. Jongin looked at Kyungsoo in surprise. He was not expecting such answer. “I wish I would not wake up tomorrow. I’m really tired and I don’t think I can take it anymore.”

“Why don’t you go to the police? Tell them about this. You should not think about negative things like that. If you’re tired, ask for someone to help you.”

A sardonic smile came to Kyungsoo’s face.

“Who should I ask? My mother? She’s too in love with that man that she can turn a blind eye even if her child’s life is on the line. I went to the police once but my mother came and told me to forgive that man and that it was just an accident. She told me that it’s just an accident,” Kyungsoo remarked, scoffing. “It was an accident which broke 4 of my ribs and almost turned my one eye blind. She said that I should just forget what happened. Yeah, someone will really help me.”

“How about your friends? I saw you hanging out with some guys at school,” Jongin asked, trying to find a way to convince Kyungsoo that thinking of dying is really not the answer.

Kyungsoo lifted his head and stared at the dark horizon.

“Friends? Those guys from the other classes? They’re not my friends. They’re bullies. At least they just take my money without making me their punching bag. That’s better to deal with than what that man’s doing to me. At least I can earn back the money that was taken from me.”

Jongin’s jaws tightened. Kyungsoo sounded like he already gave up on his life and it’s frustrating to see one person acting like that. His mother always told him that one should always hold his or her head high despite the hardships in life.

“Then ask for my help,” Jongin blurted. Kyungsoo looked at him with narrowed eyes.

“What?”

“I’ll be your friend so I’ll be there when you need help. And you can sleep at our place starting now so that you’ll not see that man again.” Jongin sounded so confident and that made Kyungsoo smile a bit.

“Friend,” Kyungsoo muttered.

He did not know why but deep down, that word made him a bit lighter.

Kyungsoo was more than welcome when Jongin’s mother let him stay with them without asking personal questions. Jongin just told her that he had some family problems. Kyungsoo stayed with them for days and within that span of time, he learned more about Jongin and the latter learned more about Kyungsoo. When Kyungsoo decided to go home to check on his mother who he learned was sick, Jongin was a bit concerned about him and was hesitating to let Kyungsoo go on his own.

Jongin’s bad premonitions came true. Kyungsoo came to school the next day wearing a mask and a pair of glasses as he tried to hide the bruises on his face. Kyungsoo even got to joke that his stepfather upgraded his punches and landed some on his new punching bag – his face.

Jongin almost lost his cool when he saw Kyungsoo lying on a hospital bed the next time he saw him after going home to get some clothes. His friend’s left leg was fractured and so was his left arm. They said he fell from the stairs. Jongin knew better than to believe in that. Their house does not even have stairs to begin with.

“I’m really tired.”

“Stop saying that.”

“I wish I could just close my eyes and be free from everything.”

“I said stop saying things like that.”

Kyungsoo chuckled as he lied on his back.

“Jongin, I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Jongin questioned, looking at Kyungsoo who had his eyes closed. The latter did not speak for some minutes.

“I’m just saying.”

There was something bothering Jongin when he heard Kyungsoo’s words. The next days, Kyungsoo was so cheerful. He was acting like a different person and he became even more outgoing than before. Jongin thought it was a good thing.

And when he received a text message from Kyungsoo out of the blue, he never imagined that it was the last one he would ever receive from him.

“Thank you for being my friend.”

Jongin, sensing something wrong with Kyungsoo’s text, quickly started looking for him. His feet led him to Kyungsoo’s house but he was not there. Jongin found himself looking for his friend at school so early in the morning.

He never expected to find him lifeless at the pool, weighed down by a rock tied by a rope to his leg.

Jongin remembered Kyungsoo’s words.

“I really like being in the water. It’s so calming and cold. When I’m in the water, I cannot hear anything and it’s really peaceful.”

“Do Kyungsoo, you bastard,” Jongin muttered as he fell on his knees.

From that day, Jongin never moved on.

He was stuck.

And that day has been haunting him.

End of Flashback

“You did everything that you could. Everything that you did is not ‘nothing’.”

Jongin shook his head.

“If only I helped him more, he would’ve a change of mind and heart. He would’ve not committed suicide.”

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