Originally posted July 24th, 2017

Edited April 20th, 2020

As he sat down for dinner that night Seungkwan tried to keep his eyes down, avoiding the obvious target in front of him, Jinsul. He desperately wanted to look at her from across the dining room table, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to handle it. The sight of the girl that had somehow gotten Vernon to fall in love with her. He couldn’t look at her and see all the things he was missing in himself, all the things he lacked for Vernon. And so Seungkwan kept his eyes trained on the plate of food in front of him.

“Seungkwan?” His mom called from her own seat. Seungkwan quickly looked up at her.

“Yes?” he replied.

“Are you feeling alright? You’ve barely spoken.” 

“Ah,” Seungkwan hesitated for a moment, “I’ve just been thinking a lot about school lately.”

“Is it Vernon?” he heard his younger sister ask. He flinched slightly at the mention of Vernon’s name. Seungkwan finally looked at her. It was as painful as he imagined. He hated it. Jinsul was his sister, just looking at her shouldn’t bring heartache. 

“What are you talking about?” 

“Usually if something is upsetting you it has to do with Vernon,” Jinsul spoke casually before taking a bite of her food.

“Well… Yeah, it does have to do with him, but I don’t think it’s too big of a deal.” he didn’t want to be having this conversation, but if he was going to get Jinsul and Vernon to finally tell the truth he needed to make it seem like he would be fine. Fine with their relationship. Regardless of the truth.

Seungkwan watched as his sister tensed in her seat, “Has he said anything weird?”

He shook his head, “No, but he’s been acting weird, it just feels like he’s hiding something,” Seungkwan was trying to make it obvious that he knew, that they could trust him and tell him the truth. 

Jinsul coughed, “Like what?”

“Like,” Seungkwan’s brain turned looking for his next sentence,  “Like maybe he’s gotten a girlfriend or something.” he carefully watched Jinsul’s unchanging face before she smirked slightly.

“I’m sure you’re just imagining things.” she chuckled.

She’d lied too. Did neither of them trust him?  Just why couldn’t they tell him the truth? He understood they might be a bit hesitant because of Seungkwan’s past but- then Seungkwan remembered. What he said in the car yesterday afternoon. He told Vernon he’d never forgive his friend who dated his sister. Seungkwas was an idiot. He had to force himself not to slam his head down onto the table in front of him. 

“I’m sure your sister is right,” he heard his mom speak. “You do tend to overthink. If Vernon was dating someone, which I doubt he is, he would tell you. You know you’re 

 important to Vernon.

“Yeah, we’re best friends.”

 “No, I mean Vernon very obviously loves you,” his mom stressed.