Originally posted June 10th, 2020

Edited April 18th, 2020

Seungkwan always thought that unrequited love would get easier as time went on, that eventually it would lessen and he wouldn’t be in love anymore. That he would move on one day, find some nice boy at college, and maybe by then, he could get married. It had been years since he’d realized he was in love with Vernon but it wasn’t getting any easier. Even if he loved Vernon, he was still his best friend and he couldn’t be mad at him for only seeing Seungkwan as such. It wasn’t Vernon’s fault Seungkwan was in love with him, it wasn’t his fault he didn’t love him back. Most of all it wasn’t his fault that he’d fallen in love with Jinsul. Love was something out of a person's control, just as it had been for him when he’d fallen for Vernon.

Seungkwan banged his head against the door. He was so selfish. If Vernon and his sister were in love who was he to stand in the way of them? He loved Jinsul with all of his heart, he wanted to see her happy and if Vernon did that how could he be selfish and angry? He was Vernon’s best friend and not once had he made his feelings apparent. If there had even been a slight chance between them he’d never taken it. He couldn’t blame the two people he loved so much for falling in love. He was in pain but he could work through that if it meant Jinsul and Vernon were happy.

Seungkwan slowly stood back up on his feet. He wasn’t going to force them to tell him, forcing them to reveal the truth behind their relationship. He wasn’t going to try and trick Vernon into telling him. If they hadn’t told him yet that meant they weren't ready. Seungkwan would wait. He would hold his breath and when it finally came like a swoop arrow to the heart he’d smile through the pain. He’d been selfish, but not anymore. Before Vernon was the man he was in love with he was his best friend who counted on him for support when he really needed it. And Seungkwan was going to do just that, support.

_____

The ride to school the next morning was pleasant. Seungkwan made sure it was. The car was filled with upbeat songs that Seungkwan would belt all the high notes for as Vernon laughed. They joked about their teachers and whatever dumb things their friends had done. Vernon would go on a rant about some book he just finished that didn’t end the way it was supposed to. In the car heading to school, Seungkwan tried to forget what heartbreak was.

It wasn’t until he arrived back at the school he was forced to remember. It wasn’t until he saw the knowing smirk that sat on Jeonghan’s face that the cruel reality came rushing back full force. Jeonghan knew about Vernon and his sister, he was sure all of his friends did, but he wasn’t quite sure he knew about Seungkwan’s feelings. About how he felt for Vernon. If he did, then he was cruel, knowing Seungkwan’s true feelings but saying anything to Seungkwan. Knowing Seungkwan was madly in love with his best friend who had no interest in him. He looked questioningly at Jeonghan, eyes squinting, mind racing.

“See something you like?” Jeonghan teased.

“Jeonghan?” he asked, “Do you think we could talk for a bit?”

Jeonghan looked at him, eyebrows cocked, “Sure, what about?”

Seungkwan looked around the filled hallway, making eye contact with Vernon who stood with the rest of their friends in front of the lockers about 10 feet to his left.  “I don’t want to talk about it here.”

Jeonghan smirked, leaning down close to his ear, “Does Vernon know about it?” 

Seungkwan’s eyes flicked back to  Vernon who was now staring at the two. Seungkwan shook his head, whispering back, “No, I just want to talk to you.”

Jeonghan pulled back nodding, taking Seungkwan’s hand in his own, “Let’s go then.” he spoke before pulling Seungkwan along with him.

Seungkwan had no idea how Jeonghan knew exactly what classroom was going to be empty and unlocked this early in the morning and he wasn’t sure he wanted to ask. Jeonghan let him enter first before closing the door after the two of them. He watched Jeonghan take a seat on one of the desks in front of him, crossing his legs over each other.

“So what’s so big that you couldn’t tell Vernon?” he asked.

Seungkwan fidgeted a bit, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. He’d never told anyone before and he wasn’t sure if he should even now. “I’m pretty sure you know what it is,” Seungkwan spoke, voice just shy of a whisper.

“Depends,” Jeonghan answered, “There are quite a few things I know, but I’m sure there are just as many I don’t. So, why don’t you just tell me what it is?”

“Well,” Seungkwan hesitated. This was a stupid idea, but he’d already committed, “You know about… my crush.”

“Your crush?” Jeonghan repeated before chuckling. “Seungkwan please tell me you aren’t about to confess your love for me.”

Seungkwan blushed, shaking his head, “Do you actually not know?”

Jeonghan chuckled, “No, I know,  I’m just messing with you. You’re in love with that idiot best friend of yours.” 

Seungkwan’s eyes widened “So you did know.”

Jeonghan laughed. “Seungkwan, everyone knows. I’m pretty sure any person who’s seen you two interact knows.”

Everyone knew. Everyone knew about ho