“Underneath the sky, you cannot be hidden

Even if you hide, you will kneel before the truth

You you you you you you you~”

(B.A.P – Warrior)

January, 2012

B.A.P successfully completes their debut showcase

3000 fans gather for B.A.P's album showcase

B.A.P Brings in Big Crowds for Its Debut Showcase

It’s been two days since their debut showcase and still so many articles talked about that. Many people called them monster rookies, since they were really successful to grab market attention with their unique concept who make them as an Alien from Mato Planet, their all-blonde-hair concept, their fierce song and stage act. While other group who just debuted always used cute concept as their debut song but they chose to be bold and different. I must say that’s really a good choice since their idea is so fresh, that’s why many people looked at them now and I must said that I am the one who looked at them too now. Well I can say that I’m their fans too.

“I’m sorry Hanbyul-ssi, but we will close now.” I looked up to find the waiter who just informed me standing in front of my table, I nodded to him and start to tidy up all my stuff from their table to my bag and prepared to go home. My bad habit everytime I came to coffee shop is lost in time, either finishing all assigment I have, writting some stories or just surfing on internet. Kinda feel sorry for the workers here but they already used to it so yeah they didn’t care too much about that since I’m one of their royal costumer. Finished tidy up my stuff, I walked to the enterance while looking at that waiter who were busy wipe the table “Bye Minhyuk-ah and sorry!” He just chukled when hearing me said those words and continued to wipe the table and because of that I didn’t see there’s someone who walked to the enterance too, wanted to go out in the same time with me. Our shoulder brushed each other which make both of us to see each other. “I’m sorr....”

“Byul-ah?” I can’t finished my words when I saw who is he and for make it worst is he called my name. I mean he still remember my name!! Here I am again couldn't move my body and my voice won’t come out. Suddenly he grabbed my wrist and pulled me out from the coffee shop to the park. We sat on one of the bench and he still held my wrist but suddenly he changed it and now we were holding hands. We didn’t say anything for the past 10 minutes, until... “So we meet again. How are you?” He looked at me and waited for me to answer his question. This situation was the same like last year, what was different this time is there’s no manager around us who was calling him to come fast. “I...I’m fine. How a..about you?” He showed me his gummy smile again when heard me answering his question, even asked him back.

“I’m fine too. Well I can’t believe to meet with you again.” I nodded because I couldn't believe it either. I couldn't believe we meet again even now we kept holding hand, sat on the park and talked with each other. “I...I watched your debut showcase.” When I said that, he looked at me like he can’t believe what I said to him. Why? He knew me watching one of his performance before his debut so he will think that I’m one of his fans right? So why must he looked so shocked when I said that I went to his debut showcase? “What’s wrong?”

“Ah...nothing...It’s just shocked me.” But why? Why must he shock? He must be seeing my confused face when he said that, so he continued to tell me the reason. “It’s just when I see you watched one of my performance before I can tell that you are not our fans, you even didn’t like Idols. You only come because your friend makes you to come with her. That’s why I’m shocked when you said that you come to our debut showcase. Did this time your friend make you to come again?” There slightly unsure note in his voice when he said the last question. I smiled to him and say “First, she’s my sister and second no. Yes for your performance before she made me to come but for the debut showcase no, I came because I want. I want to watch you, that’s why I come.” I kept smiling to him and he returned it with his gummy smile too. “And how is it? The showcase...are we good enough? You’re not disappointed with our performance right?” I could say that he was really scared to ask me that question, I could feel it. The burden on his shoulder was too big. He’s the leader of this group, who needs to take care the rest of group, make sure that everything is good for their group and didn’t disappoint the fans too. I felt bad for him. I just wanted to take all those burden on his shoulder and let me the one who carried it but I knew it’s impossible. What I could do as his fans was to encourage him and said that everything is fine and will be fine because all their hard work wont disappoint them.

“The showcase was great, I really enjoy it. I can see that you guys put everything for that showcase that’s why I can enjoy it so much. Just remember, hard work will never betray you.” He smiled again and this time it was bigger than the last time, like for awhile he could breathe a relief sigh. After I said that, we just sat and didn’t said anything. We just wanted to cherish that moment where we still held each other hand, with our shoulder touched each other and enjoyed the night. Suddenly I remembered about something. “So, Bang Yongguk-ssi let me introduce myself properly. My name is Kim Hanbyul, 21 years old and I’m a BABYz. Please take care of me.” Finished my introduce, I looked at him smilling and he replied “Hello Kim Hanbyul-ssi. My name is Bang Yongguk, 22 years old and the leader of group B.A.P. Please take care of me too.”

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One shot!

Are you going to be a victim?

Are you going to get lost, looking for an easy way out?

Only one shot!

Turn your face

To the rough world and clash and fight

(B.A.P – One Shot)

February, 2013

B.A.P's Himchan suffers injury to hand, may not be joining other members for "One Shot" performance

B.A.P Him Chan Suffers Hand Injury, 'ONE SHOT' Performance to Continue with 5 Members

TS Entertainment commented, "More so than anyone else, Himchan and s are feeling the most upset about this situation... Especially since it was thought that B.A.P could show off a new side to themselves through this 'One Shot' promotion, and the six members have worked harder than ever to prepare for this album, it seems their disappointment is great."

To read all this articles made me sad. I knew they’ve tried harder for this comeback, really hard. Just look at all the concept they used for this comeback, the range for their music video and the song quality but something like this happen. I couldn't imagine what were they feel, knew they still need to finish this promotion as a 5, what Himchan feel about this too when he only could see kept promoting from TV or internet but the more important is how Yongguk feel now. Knowing him, I bet he thought that accident was his fault for couldn't take care about his group member. I really wanted to meet him and said that it was not his fault, this was fully accident and he didn’t need to blame his self. I lowered my head feel frustated with myself without realizing there’s someone already sat across from me. “Haah what can I do about that? I’m just his fans, I can’t do anything to ease his pain and burden. I even didn’t know where he is now and what he do.”

“Who’s fans?” I was shocked with that sudden question from a very familliar voice in front of me and yeah when I lifted my head he already sat across me with his hand propped his head on the table. I blinked my eyes multiple times, couldn't believe with what I saw, “How...Why...Why you in here?” he chukled to see me suttered like that. “Hmm buying some coffee?” yeah we met again in this coffee shop, like last year. The difference was this time he came to my table instead of bumping each other on the enterance. He changed so much from the last time I met him. It’s not like I didn’t see him on TV or internet, it’s just it’s really different when you saw him face to face like this without all those fancy clothes, hair style and bold eye makeup on his face. His face showed how tired he is, those dark circle below his eyes and how skinny he is now. His eyes....how I really missed seeing those eyes so close like this but... “It’s not your fault, you know it too right?” He shocked when I said that.

“Don’t try to hide it, I can see it crearly from your eyes. Don’t blame yourself for this accident. This is not your fault. This is truly out of your control. I bet Himchan Oppa didn’t want you to blame it to yourself, right?” He didn’t say anything, he even didn’t nod or shook his head. He just stayed still like that while kept his eye locked at my eyes. I sighed and continued to talk what I want to talk to him about this situation. “I know you’re the leader for this group, for them even for all babyz out there but please stop take all the burden by yourself. You’re human too, you can’t take it by all yourself. We’re here for you well maybe we can’t truly be by yourside but our heart yes. Remember you still have your family, your member, your friends even your fans who will do everything for your happiness so please stop it ok. They are willing to help you, what you need to do is to ask them to help you and they will happilly do that. Just believe me about that, please?”

H e smiled and grabbed my hand, held it tight. His hand was shaking so I held his hand tight too, hoped his hand would stop shaking. “Thank you, I appreciate it. Really. I just don’t know how to express myself that’s why I prefer to keep eveything by myself. I’ll try my best to share my concern more. I can’t promise you that but I’ll try.” I just smiled when he said that, smile proudly. I mean he listened to my concern about him and he promise me tried his best to change it. Well I knew the change took time but it will be worth it since he already wanted to try so it’s better. I’m just a fan who couldn't be with him, truly by his side 24/7 but like I said before my heart will always be with him.

After that we kept talking, tried to catch up with what happened with my life this past year. I told him everything about me finished my college life and continued with my work life who was really but yeah I needed money to live and achieve my dream. Until we realized it’s time for the shop to close he waited for me to put all my stuff in bag and we went out together, held each other's hand like in the past but this time we didn’t go to that park since he needed to go back to studio for work and I needed to go back home too. We parted away but I looked back again to him and saw him walked away from me. Saw his back side like that made me sad because I really wanted to stay with him but I couldn't, we have different worlds and lives. I could only support him from afar like this.

“I believe you can do everything you want for your life Yongguk-ah. I believe you can bring happiness for other people. What you need to do is just believe in yourself more. You’ve got many people who will support you because they know you can do it, they believe in you. So please, please I beg to you for believe in yourself more, Yongguk-ah.” I didn't know why I said those words with a low voice now because even if I said that with a normal voice he couldn't hear me he already too far away from me and with that I continued to walk too, made our distance wider. That time I didn’t know about what will happen to us, for the worst I didn’t know that will be the last time I meet him before all the nightmare happen. The nightmare that will set us apart for a long time. The nightmare that will makes me lose the Bang Yongguk I know. The nightmare that will changes everything, all those smiles, happiness and hopes into a tears, disappointment and pain. 

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