I don’t know why I’m still writing these. Not like you’ve been too great with replying. Let’s just say your funeral was exactly as you’d have wanted it. Toned down. Relaxed. It wasn’t rainy or gloomy. Nobody cried. We all just remembered you. Imagine that; all of us in suits.

It really isn’t your style, but the guys and I all put a rose on your casket. Then I put one more, which was yours. It was white, while ours were all red. Maybe I had some symbolic meaning for doing that. But it also just looked nice and seemed fitting. I miss you. I really do. I told myself not to cry when they lowered the casket, and when I came back days after to see your grave. I didn’t cry, Namjoon. I think I know you found what you were looking for in the mountains. Not that I dug up your grave and opened the coffin or anything, but you just seemed at peace. A peace I’ve never experienced myself. I think I’m going crazy.

We all wish you the safest of travels in wherever you may be. You know, I went to visit you yesterday. The grass was the brightest green in the entire cemetery. I felt at ease. It was almost like you were still there. Before I went home, I left some cookies I baked on your grave stone. Maybe the ants will eat it if your ghost doesn’t. Anyways, I set the cookies down, and this little butterfly landed on my hand. It kind of looked like you. I’m not going to write again, so this will be the last time you’ll get a letter from me. I’m leaving this at your grave... I’l