== PROLOGUE ==

I’ll always be waiting for you to come back to me. I’ll always be waiting for the days when we reunite again. Although it might takes 10 years, 100 years, 1000 years, even if it takes forever for us, we will meet again in our next life. I believe that we would be together again. So please, don’t ever leave me, no matter what it takes.

(May 17th, 2017)

 

== CHAPTER 7 ==

            As he reaches his small house, Ki Hyun stopped his step because he was startled by seeing two persons that he knows really well.

            “Annyeong hasimnikka [How are you]?” asked the granny, Granny Son.

            “Lady Son, Eunuch Son,” Ki Hyun greets two elder who came to his house.

            “It’s been a long time,” said Grandsire Son.

            “How’ve you been?” asked Granny Son.

            “I am doing well,” answer Ki Hyun. “How about you?”

            “We’re doing well too,” said Grandsire Son.

            “Here,” said Granny Son while handing him a letter.

            “Ige mwoyeyo [What is it]?” asked Ki Hyun.

            “You can open it later by yourself since you just got home to eat your lunch,” said Granny Son.

            “But---,”

            “Ja, meokja [Let’s eat],” said Ah Young.

            “We should eat before it cools down,” said Hwa Rang.

            “Grandsire Son and Granny Son should join us too,” said Ah Young.

            “Can we?” asked Grandsire Son.

            “Sure,” said Ah Young.

            “Who made all this food?” asked Grandsire Son.

            “Hwa Young,” answer Hwa Rang.

            “Really?” asked Granny Son.

            Hwa Young only nodded to answer the question of a granny that she thought as her grandmother.

            “It’s really delicious,” said Grandsire Son.

            “How can you cook like this?” asked Ki Hyun.

            “Because of Eomma [Mom], I want to be like her,” answer Hwa Young.

            As he heard Hwa Young’s answer, Ki Hyun her hair and smiles, with a bitter slight smile. He can know that how much Hwa Young longed for her mother.

            “Granny, Grandsire, might I ask you something?” asked Hwa Rang.

            “Mwoga [What is is]?” asked Grandsire Son.

            At first, Hwa Rang looked hesitant to ask his question to Grandsire Son and Granny Son.

            “Eomma… is she doing well? How is she doing there?” asked Hwa Rang.

            Ki Hyun got startled because of Hwa Rang’s sudden question. He didn’t even have that much courage to ask that question to Granny Son and Grandsire Son.

            “She is doing well,” said Grandsire Son.

            “Does she remember us? Does she miss us too?” asked Hwa Rang.

            Granny son looked at Grandsire Son. But Grandsire Son gave her a code to tell them.

            “I don’t know if we can talk about this while we’re eating. But since Hwa Rang asked about it, then I should answer to his question. Gongju Mama [Princess], does miss her children a lot,” said Granny Son.

            “But if she missed us, why she didn’t even come here to see us for 7 years?” asked Hwa Rang.

            “Hwa Rang-a…” Ki Hyun tried to stop Hwa Rang from his emotional question.

            “Abeoji [Father], don’t you miss her so much too?” asked Hwa Rang.

            “Hwa Rang-a, geumanhae [stop it],” said Ah Young.

            “If she really missed us, she should’ve come here to see us,” said Hwa Rang. “But, does she even know that I miss her like crazy? Does she even know that we are always here waiting for her to come back?”

            “Hwa Rang-a…”

            “I just want to see and hug her just once,”

            Grandsire Son and Granny Son couldn’t say anything. They know well how much Ki Hyun and his children felt, but they couldn’t do anything either. Even Hwa Rang left the table and left home because he’s too emotional to handle everything.

            “Orabeoni [Brother]!”

            Hwa Young called for his older brother.

            “Gwaenchanha [It’s okay], Hwa Young-a, leave him alone,” said Ah Young. “He’ll be okay,”

            “Lady Son, Eunuch Son, I am so sorry about what happened,” said Ki Hyun.

            “Gwaenchanhda [It’s fine], I know how he felt,” said Granny Son.

***

 

            Lee Ha Na is 11 years old and Lee Ha Rin is 9 years old are the daughter of Ha Ni and Ho Seok. Lee Dae Hwi, 8 years old, is the daughter of Ah Jin and Hyung Won. Then Lee Shi Na and Lee Shi Ma are the 7 years old twins and Lee Na Bi is 6 years old, they are the daughter of Crown Prince and Ji Hyeon. Sadly, she didn’t give a son to be the next Crown Prince. If only the Royal Family acknowledge about Hwa Rang’s existence, he could be the next Crown Prince.

            “Give me that…” said Shi Na.

            She is asking for a doll that is in Shi Ma’s hand.

            “But this is mine,” said Shi Ma.

            “Don’t fight,” said Lady Song.

            After Lady Song tried to prevent them so fight, Shi Na started to cough.

            “Gongju [Princess], are you okay?” asked Lady Song while she jumped to check her condition.

            “We should take her to her room,” said Ha Na.

            Lady Song brought Shi Na to her room while another maid informs Ji Hyeon and the Crown Prince about Shi Na’s condition.

            “Bring the Royal Physician right now,” said the Crown Prince.

            “Ye, Joha [Yes, Your Highness],” said Eunuch Kim.

            Crown Prince rushed into Shi Na’s room.

            “How is her condition?” asked the Crown Prince.

            “She’s coughing and then she had a fever,” answer Lady Song.

            The Royal Physician arrived.

            “Check up on her right now,” said the Crown Prince.

            The Royal Physician starts to check on Shi Na’s condition.

            “How is her condition? Is she alright?” asked Crown Prince.

            “Joesonghamnida, Joha [Forgive me, Your Highness],” said the Royal Physician.

            “What happened?” asked Crown Prince.

            “Her condition is really bad. She has weak lung condition and now she has a fever. She needs immediate treatment so that her condition don’t get worser,” explains the Royal Physician.

            The Crown Prince was really shocked and really worried about Shi Na’s condition.

            “Do everything to treat her until she can recover!” said the Crown Prince.

            “Ye, Joha [Yes, Your Highness],” answer the Royal Physician.

            “Eomma [Mom],” said Shi Na as soon as she opened her eyes.

            Ji Hyeon also there too, but she didn’t said anything. Only when Shi Na’s calling for her, she sat beside Shi Na and holds her hands tightly.

            “Eomma [Mom],” said Shi Na again.

            “Eomma [Mom] is right here,” said Ji Hyeon.

            Although she really hates Shi Na’s father, but still, Shi Na is her daughter.

            “Don’t leave me,” said Shi Na.

            Ji Hyeon can’t say anything. She even can’t say that she can’t leave Shi Na. Because for her, it’s only like a promise that she can’t even make.

            “Eomma would never leave you,” said the Crown Prince.

            Ji Hyeon only looked at him. And as Shi Na’s fever went down and she fell asleep, Ji Hyeon and the Crown Prince left Shi Na’s room. They are heading into each other’s quarters. But on the way, the Crown Prince stopped his step and turn around. He looked at Ji Hyeon.

            “Why?”

            “What?”

            “Why you didn’t say anything when Shi Na asked you not to leave her?”

            “Why should I promise the thing that I can’t even keep?”

            Crown Prince really startled because of Ji Hyeon’s sudden statement.

            “Do you plan to leave her?”

            “I can’t leave her but I can leave you whenever I want,”

            “Gongju [Princess]!”

***

 

            As Shi Na’s condition got better, the palace still in chaos because the King suddenly gather the Royal Family at the Royal Hall to discuss about something important.

            “Do you know the reason why I need to gather all of you here?”

            “Animnida, Joha [No, Your Majesty],”

            “It was because I have something to tell you. It’s really important. And in order to have a son as the next Crown Prince, we should do the custom that can help us pass the bad luck,”

            “What do you mean?”

            Even The Queen didn’t know what the King meant.

            “The Crown Princess gave birth to twins and as the royal custom, we should exile one of two,” said the King.

            Yes, it happened again. When someone gave birth to twins at the palace, then one of them should be exiled, like what happened to Ji Hyeon 24 years ago.

            “Because Shi Na’s health is not in a good condition, so we should exile Shi Ma from the palace in order to have a son as the next Crown Prince,”

            “Maldo andwae [No way]!” said Ji Hyeon.

            “How dare you!”

            “I can’t cast away my own daughter like you did to me 24 years ago,”

            The King looked angry because of Ji Hyeon.

            “Gongju [Princess]!”

            The Crown Prince even tried to stop her.

            “I might not have a son to be the next Crown Prince, but what if I still give birth to a daughter even after Shi Ma being exiled from the palace?”

            The Crown Prince held her hand to stop her but she refused it.

            “I can’t cast away my daughter,”

            “You dare to break our royal custom?”

            “It’s not like I want to break our royal custom, but just in case, what if I give birth to another daughter? What will you do? Would you bring Shi Ma back to the palace if that happens?”

            “Breaking our royal custom also can bring us bad luck,”

            “Then, can you let me give you another choice?”

            “I might not have a son, so why don’t you let the Crown Prince have a concubine and has a son with her?”

            “GONGJU [PRINCESS]!”

            Crown Prince couldn’t hold himself again as he heard Ji Hyeon’s statement.

            “Concubine, you said?” asked the King.

            “Yes. He can marry to a woman and let them be the royal concubine so that their son can be the next Crown Prince,”

            “Ji Hyeon-a…”

            The Crown Prince still tried to stop her.

            “As all of us know that our Royal Ancestor married to 3 women and took them as concubines. Even the Crown Prince was born by the royal concubine, Kang So Yu,”

            It’s a fact that everyone knows. Even the King himself is the descendant from the royal concubine called Kang So Yu. He can’t deny that fact. So that means that the Crown Prince, Lee Min Hyuk also the descendant from Kang So Yu. Meanwhile, Ji Hyeon and her mother, Lee Jin Yi, is the descendant from Yoon Bo Ra, the woman who married to Royal Ancestor and became the Queen. That’s why the present King insisted on marrying the Crown Prince to Ji Hyeon in order to protect the Royal Hierarchy and to strengthen the Crown Prince position. Because Ji Hyeon had a really strong background since Ha Ni is already married to Ho Seok, he is the descendant of Kim Hyo Jin, the one of royal concubine who entered the palace before Kang So Yu. So that’s why Ho Seok can be a threat for the Crown Prince’s position. Meanwhile, as Jin Yi’s 3rd daughter, Ah Jin is already married to the son of Minister of Education Chae.

            “What are you doing?” asked the Crown Prince right after the Royal Family left the Royal Hall.

            “I only tried to protect my daughter so that she didn’t to experience the same thing I did,” answer Ji Hyeon.

            “But I can’t get married to another woman and make her as my concubine,” said the Crown Prince.

            “It doesn’t matter to me,” said Ji Hyeon.

            Ji Hyeon was going to left the Crown Prince but he grabbed her hand.

            “NWA [LET GO OF ME],” said Ji Hyeon without even looking at the Crown Prince.

            “But I only love you in this world and I don’t want to marry another woman,” said the Crown Prince.

            “If you are always this selfish, then it’s the same as you trying to send your own daughter to another hell and experience the same torture I went through,”

            “Ji Hyeon-a…”

            “I don’t want my daughter to get same experience as me,”

            Slowly, the Crown Prince loosed his grasp on Ji Hyeon’s hand. As the Crown Prince let go of her, Ji Hyeon left the Crown Prince alone at the Royal Hall.

***

 

            Today is a first day of autumn. As the autumn comes, Ki Hyun always takes his time to go to the river and sat down at the big stone. Once he gets there, he is always reminded of his beautiful past, his beautiful memories when the woman that he loved was still with him. Right there, chatting and teasing each other. When he was only a scholar who really loved a girl and he really wanted to get married to that girl and make her as his wife. That girl named Ji Hyeon, Lee Ji Hyeon, who is living at the palace as the Crown Princess now.

            “If only you are still here,” said Ki Hyun.

            Then he opened the letter that was given by Lady Son and Eunuch Son a few days ago. A letter with pink map as it unwraps. He starts to read every word that was written there and as he reads that letter, his tears start to fall down from his beautiful eyes. He can’t handle it. His heart was too weak to handle every word that was written in that letter.

            “Neomu bogoshipeo [I miss you so much],” said Ki Hyun.

            He hugged the letter. He cried because he missed the person who wrote that painful letter for him. He missed Lee Ji Hyeon so much. She is the one who wrote that letter for him.

“How you’ve been? Are you alright?

I hope you are always cheerful and happy as usual.

I am so sorry because I couldn’t send you a letter as soon as I got back to the palace. It wasn’t because I didn’t think of you and our children, but because I couldn’t put you and our children in danger if someone caught me writing even a letter for you. I don’t want you and our children in danger because it will make me suffer to death.

For these past 7 years, I’ve been living in a place that is no different from hell. Because every place, when you are not there with me, it’s the same as hell. I missed you so much.

Every day, every night, every time I always think of you and our children.

I wonder how you’re doing, how is your condition, do you miss me as I miss you to death. But I am glad that those people always said that you are doing well and our children grew up well too, even without me as their mother. I feel so sorry about that even I think that I can’t pay for my sins until I die.

I always find myself as a person who couldn’t stand by her children’s sides. I feel ashamed of myself because I didn’t do my duty as their mother but I only left them. Not only was I not with them as they grew up, but I also hurt their hearts. How bad am I as a mother and as your wife.

But every time I pray, I always ask the Heaven to let us to meet even once. At least I can see your face and our children’s faces before I die. At least, just once so that I can go to my next life and wait for you there.

Although we can’t be together in this lifetime and although I gave you so much hardship in this lifetime, I prayed to the Heaven that I’ll wait for you in next life so that we can be together again and I’ll make sure to make you happy in our next life.

And although we were living in different places right now, my heart is always there with you, my soul always protects you and our children. Even if I die, I’ll always be there with you and our children.

I hope we can meet again, someday, before I die.

I miss you so much and I will always love you, Yoo Ki Hyun.

 

-Lee Ji Hyeon-“

            “Neomu bogoshipeo, [I miss you so much], Ji Hyeon-a…”

            He still cried because it really hurt him. Like Ji Hyeon said in her letter, that every place for him too, where there’s no Ji Hyeon with him, it is no different from living in hell. Not only does it torture his heart and his soul, but also suffocate until he couldn’t breathe and felt like dying everyday. And today, after 7 years, he can finally see Ji Hyeon again although it was only through her handwriting that he always knows as the beautiful handwriting.

***

 

            Meanwhile, at the palace, Ji Hyeon sat down alone at the pavilion. She told her maids to leave her alone there.

            “Eomma [Mom],” the cute and sweet voice brought her mind back.

            As her mind came back, she looked at the owner of the voice who was calling for her. She is Lee Na Bi, the youngest daughter of her and the Crown Prince.

            “Why?” asked Ji Hyeon cold.

            “I want to play with a doll with you,” answered Na Bi.

            “Just play with the maids, I am busy,” said Ji Hyeon.

            Ji Hyeon even left Na Bi alone at the pavilion. As always, Ji Hyeon treats Na Bi coldly. It is because Na Bi reminds her of Yoon Ah, her youngest daughter with Ki Hyun. Even at times, she sees Na Bi as Yoon Ah. But as soon as she realized that Na Bi is her daughter with the Crown Prince she got really mad and hated herself. Because she couldn’t separate her hate between Na Bi and the Crown Prince.

            “Eomma [Mom],”

 

To be continued…