4th

"No. I won't choke you. Why are you even suggesting something like this, Mark?"

Regret, and mostly disappointment sloshes over him. Somehow, Mark already predicts this kind of rejection from Jinyoung. Jinyoung is as traditional as it is in bedroom. Prefer to have in missionary style. Perfecting the epitome of a blushing to its dot. Refuse to swallow after a . Also, completely against any form of pain-inflicting act unless it is done unconsciously on the throne of passion. That is Park Jinyoung.

"If you want us to switch, that's fine. I can try it for you. But choking? Are you kidding me? Where this bull idea even come from?"

Jinyoung continues typing away on his computer. Not even giving Mark a slight glance, in spite of talking to him with a rather harsh tone. Mark props himself on the side of un-lit fireplace. Arm hugs himself tightly. He didn't know why bother to tell Jinyoung this request when he was almost sure Jinyoung will side-eyed him for even bringing this up.

But, he really should try it. See if he and Jinyoung have a deeper connection more than what they had so far. Because Mark couldn't continue like this. Not when lately, what he has with Jinyoung is starting to leave him unfulfilled from time to time. Is it because of boredom, Mark doesn't know for sure. He needs to figure out what it is that changing. If it is really because of boredom, then perhaps a change of situation would be a fresh welcome. Hence his request.

Gauging Jinyoung apparent distaste to his suggestion is making Mark concluded that it is only so far their attraction towards each other goes. Mark couldn't see any other thing that could possibly spiced up his and Jinyoung weekly romps. Well, so far what they always do were nice and all. Until it stops making Mark content.

After witnessing his best friend's glow and serene smile last week, Mark keeps wondering if he would finally reach that point in live. Where he freely embraced who he is, what he likes, and bravely acknowledge how he prefer to do it. Not that Mark had an experience to something intense like Jackson currently enjoys with his lover of the moment. Mark almost as vanilla as Jinyoung in term of . But that is not saying he completely against it like Jinyoung seems to be. Mark has a lot of curiosity. He simply never had any channel or rather, partner, to explore his extensive curiosity. Now that he meets Jinyoung, which somehow he feels click with, in term of bedroom hunger, Mark wants to revisit his long-past-due curiosity. Hoping that Jinyoung will want to be his partner in crime. Hope is the key word.

"I get it if you feel bored. I appreciate that you try to come out of your comfort zone to spice thing up. But, it is so not very you, Mark."

Oh, Jinyoungie~ how wrong you could be. Probably Jinyoung will piss himself if he knows what kind of Mark collects on his locked hard drive back home. How the idea of asphyxiation or even cuff and blindfold would get him from zero to hundred in below 5 minutes. How he honestly, almost jealous of Jackson. How he wish he get to experience some kind of that Jackson always enjoys, proudfully. How he crave someone pinned him down, rather than he pinned someone down.

And then, from this statement alone, Jinyoung proved himself that he is not knowing Mark at all. It is a testament of how Jinyoung only see the version of Mark that Mark choose to share to everyone on his social circle nowadays. The good boy Mark.

Offering no response to Jinyoung’s utter rejection, Mark doesn't want Jinyoung to feel his disappointment. Doesn't want Jinyoung to know that he, after all, had affected Mark this much.

Mark pushes himself from the wall he leaned in. He walks further into Jinyoung's study room, bypassing a floor-to-ceiling shelves full of books. He circles Jinyoung’s big mahogany desk and walks further into the massive window right behind. He opens the curtain slightly, and braced his hand to the marble frame that lining its bottom. The view to Jinyoung's front garden from this second floor is astonishing. He could see his red Ferrari parked near the small fountain.

Red. His color. A glimpse to his true self. Also red. The color to certain someone's suit that had his mind accidentally driving into last night. While he had Jinyoung in his arm, squirming and begging for more.

Mark closes his eyes. Even now, the image is still vivid. How his passion tenfold from nearly going on autopilot mode to a fervor notch, but sadly not aroused by the very person he buried himself in last night. He waited for the remorse and guilty feeling to strike him all night. Instead, he was laying alone in Jinyoung bed, feeling anything but those feeling. He was numb. All that replayed on his mind was. Himself, squirming and begging, much like Jinyoung did. With a red-suited man, adorning multiple piercing and foxy eyes, above him. Looking at Mark, with a smirk that last for a lifetime. With a raspy voice that whispering, "I don't like to be ignored, Mark.”

Mark shudders. Despite a beginning ray of sunshine that hit his right side. Another Sunday morning. Should he continue with this thing with Jinyoung? It is a sign to something changing within himself if he was so distraught during a that for so long has been his safe haven. Something he looks forward to every weekend. Also, setting aside his lack of guilt and romantic feeling, it is still not a right thing to do for him to use a thought of someone else while getting off with another person. He needs to set his mind back on the right track again. He should do right by Jinyoung. Jinyoung never anything but good to him, aside from his manipulative and coy way to get Mark giving what he want. He can't face himself if he ever does anything bad, intentionally or unintentionally, to Jinyoung. Not that Jinyoung probably care. Truthfully, he also does this for himself too. He doesn't want something like this happen to him as a karma.

Opening his eyes. He makes a decision. Right there and then. He would rearrange his mind, put it to the right path before he is allowed himself back to this place. He needs to put a break on this first. No need to continue muddling his mind with a confusion that coming up from another person. It has been fun, for sure. And with this exact reason, which is he dipped into this looking for fun, he certainly will not put himself in a headache inducing situation. Remember? Mark is a simple man. He sees something complicated, he would stay away from it. He observes that keeping Jinyoung’s company, while bored out of his mind during it, is a hassle not worth his time. Not worth the whirlwind he experienced while trying to find the cause. Especially since the very man himself, currently rejected his proposal to make it bearable, at least on Mark side.

"I’m not gonna coming here for a while. I hope you are fine with it.", Mark rotates his body. Leaning against the window sill, looking at the back of Jinyoung's head. The later doesn't even look away from his workstation. Continue typing away on the white wireless keyboard in front of him.

"Fine. As always, thank you, Mark.", adjusting his reading glasses, Jinyoung looks at him briefly, offering a small smile before his eyes trains back to the screen again. Not even fazed a bit with Mark's announcement.

Not surprising, but it still stings a bit anyway. Mark shoves his hand inside his pants pocket, prepares to walk out of the room. When he is about to walk pass Jinyoung, his mind telling him to give Jinyoung a kiss. So, he stops beside Jinyoung's chair, kisses the top of his head, and proceeds to ruffle the hair of a person whom he once so fond of. When he walks away, he hears a small chuckle from Jinyoung and a parting greet.

"Good bye, Mark."

With a soft click, the door closed behind him. He leans his head on it. Good bye. Yes, somehow this might be a good bye, though he doesn't know yet. He hopes it is not, because he really did enjoy Jinyoung's company.

What he didn't know is, a mutter Jinyoung said to himself when the door already separating them into two different path.

"He is already occupying your mind, anyway."

###

A rumble of heavy machine sound greets Mark when he is about to roll up the top of his Ferrari. The sound distracts him. It is very familiar sound that he's been long to hear. To feel the powerful machine vibrating between his two legs. To revved the gas so the machine lets out an even more powerful sound that never failed to bring wide satisfied smile from his lips. Back then, back in LA.

A pitch black Harley comes into his right peripheral. A Harley Davidson Sportster Iron 883 in Pitch Black Series. Parking smoothly in its usual spot, which has been vacant for three weeks. A man with an expensive looking navy bomber jacket and black ripped jeans perches on top of the vehicle, complete with a leather boots and an equally leather hand gloves. Finally, Mark gets to meet the owner after drooling at the said vehicle for almost a year.

He is busying himself with his glove compartment, buying a little moment so he could time his getting off from the car with when the Harley owner about to take off his helmet. From this angle, he only could see the side face of the man.

A messy burgundy red hair with familiar sharp nose and pierced ear meet his eyes as soon as the helmet off. Of course, the owner would be Jaebum. Who else in this apartment complex crazy enough to own a Harley to ride in the middle of such a busy and big city as Seoul. He should have seen it sooner. Oh, wait, so the Hummer is Jaebum's too then?

Jaebum ruffles his hair a bit before standing to the side and putting his helmet on the saddle. Looking too good for someone who should be crumpled from a windy ride.

"Figure. Of course the Harley and Hummer are yours. Very typical."

Normally, Mark just would leave it alone. But, his mouth itched so much to throw those judgments to Jaebum. Much of how Jaebum did to him a week ago.

Jaebum whips his head so fast. He almost knocked down the helmet to the ground with his hasty movement. Now seeing the newly dyed red hair complete with the face, Mark could feel the effect of the visual on a full-blown scale. The bright burgundy hair suits Jaebum too much. It makes him... more playful, yet still dangerous. If the black hair makes Jaebum looked mysterious and untouchable, the red hair Jaebum is an epitome of playful and daring. Complete with the slow smirk that now grazed his cat-like face, upon seeing Mark still sitting inside his car.

"What 'the typical' you are referring to here?"

"Typical seasonal bad boy that every mom warns her girl to stay away from."

Jaebum is laughing at this. Shaking his head and showing off a pretty pearly straight teeth. The man is very attractive. There is no objection to that. The attraction between them is now palpable. Swirling around them like a magnetic moment. Unknowingly, Mark already included on this game. Unknowingly, with his last reply, Jaebum could wrongly misinterpret his supposed to be jab with something in completely different meaning. Like flirting. Hence the laugh. Wrong move, Mr. Tuan, wrong move.

Jaebum holds up his helmet, replaces it with himself. Sitting sideways on the saddle, facing Mark. He probably observes the whole image inside his mind. Mark, with his dusty pink knitted pull-over he stole from Jinyoung’s closet, sitting inside his 2015 Ferrari 458 Italia Convertible. Mark could tell that Jaebum appreciate the view, or rather the car, from the way his eyes glisten more after the once over.

"So, did your mother tell you to stay away from me then? Is that why you were so quiet last week?"

"Unfortunately, because I am a boy, who likes boys more than girls, my father just threw me a pack of on my 16th birthday, 12 years ago. Bless his kind heart. Really considerate."

Another laugh escapes Jaebum. More freely, less calculating. The man should definitely laugh more. It is very endearing. The way his eyes also laughing with him. He could fool everyone to be the warm person he does not seems to be on a daily basis. Very endearing indeed. The way Jaebum wears his heart inside his eyes, whenever he shreds a little of his usual resting--face mode.

Mark moves to get out of his car. Close the door and sit down on the rolled-down window frame. Waiting Jaebum to finish his laughing. He envies the hearty laugh. As if Jaebum has no care for the rest of this world. He effortlessly irritates Mark by being himself. By representing every things which Mark gave up and now is desperate to catch back. His freedom to express himself. To be the Mark he was.

"You're 28 years old?"

Mark nods. Jaebum continues to laugh. Something clearly seems to be so amusing for him.

"You're older than me, after all."

This information fazed him a bit. After so long assuming that they both had a reverse order in term of age, this fact is both throwing him out of the loop and, at the same time, giving him a little relieved feeling. Sure age is not an issue for him, but it is different here in Korea. His mind comes into realization that he could play an age card to Jaebum. Already imagining the satisfaction of making Jaebum bow-down to him, just simply by needing to call him as Mark-Hyung.

"So, call me Hyung, then."

The big smile dies down so quick. Left no warm trace at all on Jaebum’s face. The face that seem so welcoming just a mere seconds ago transforms back into its usual stoic state. Delivering a word that completely shatter Mark's premature celebration inside his head earlier.

"No.", Jaebum says it with a finality that left no crack for even a slight argument.