Those days were over. Nu'est was over. Aron hyung decided that it was time for him to start settling down. It was a shock for all the members, but we all came to accept the situation. Everything comes to an end at some point. Personally, could I blame him? I can, but I chose not to. Even if I chose not to, I cannot help but feel angry over the situation. We, who were left behind were put in jeopardy because of his life goals. Everything was already planned out: our concept, schedule, stages, and etc. It was Pledis' biggest investment in us. So when he announced his desire to departure, it wrecked everything. My career was again on the line. Now, it's nothing. None of it matters anymore. What matters is that I live another damn day of this hell, and plan for success.

After I pay my debt.

I hope Aron's happy. 

The bitterness I wake up with everyday follows me around like a fog of dark clouds. When I look into the mirror every morning, all I see is what could be, and where I could be now. 

Before leaving the apartment, I checked my cell phone for my ex- girlfriend's call. We had just broken up. However, it was not out first time. She just kept coming back, and I just kept taking her. I forget about everything after the makeup. Or do I? Personally, s.ex is just a way to getaway from life. Only s.ex can take me to paradise and back. Closing the door and twisting the lock, I headed down the stairs and walk the street to my aunt's cafe: Lovesome cafe. I was lucky to have her because she gave me this job. South Korea is not called "Hell Joseon" for a reason. It's hard to find a job. Students who graduate with degrees complain about being unemployed. Well, think about me, I have no degree. If it is hard for them, it could have been worse for me. Lucky for me, my aunt is great a person. 

Walking in the streets, many people brushed pass me looking unto their own lives. And I, to my own. The chilly atmosphere chilled my cheeks, the sensation felt tingy and sharp. I walked on thinking about my parents: are they proud of me for pursuing singing even though it did not work out? Or are they ashamed to have a son like me? Do they think about me? Oh how I miss my mother's cooking. I miss eating my grandmother's sesame leaf wraps. Everyday I thrived on water and just ramen alone. 

Approaching the cafe, I headed into the back alley and enter through the back door. It is 7:05 am, and there are a line of people waiting for their order of morning coffee or lattes. I took off my coat and cap, hanged them on the hanger, and fastened my apron. 

Walking up to the front, I placed a hand on my co- worker's back, "I'll take over, you go make the drinks." she nodded.

Stepping up to the ringer, I smiled, "Good morning, m'am can I help you?" 

She smiled right back at me, "Yes, all I want for this morning is pumpkin spice latte." 

The lines in the morning can be quite busy, while in the weekends it is usually the evening and later. However, once the line finishes, it can be pretty empty. Until lunch of course. 

Feeling a bit hungry, I rung myself up a regular coffee and omelette. 

At the table, I sat and ate in silence. Remembering Seohyee's text made me lose my apetite. My shoulders tensed and my heart felt heavy. I leaned back and sighed outloud. 

Pulling out my phone, I read her text again.

      Baby, I know we f.uck.ed up, but no relationship is perfect. You are the only man who has ever made me feel this hot whenever we argue. We f#ck and we forget. I know it hurts, but I want us to actually fix something. Just beucase we give eachother pain does not mean we are not mean't for eachother. I love you. Please answer me. <3 3 

I sat there in a moment of silence contemplating my decision: yes or no? My head was spinning and I felt so caved in all of the sudden. It hurts to be in this situation. I hate it so much... 

"Hey!" my aunt slaped a hand on my back, "You alright?" she asked.

I breathed in deeply, "I don't know anymore aunty..." holding my head in hands.

Aunty Lena sat herself across from me and with concern in her voice, she asked, "It's Seohyee again, is it?" 

I could only sigh. She knew what that meant. 

"You know, this is not a healthy relationship right? She keeps hurting you like this, this is not love. You can't keep hurting yourself like this." she lectured.

I shook my head, "It's complicated. I honestly don't know if I love actually love her. It's just the satisfaction of having someone being with you physically... I guess." 

"MinKi... Please just stop this . It is not worth it, especially if it's just about s.ex." she reached out removing my hands from my face. "Look at me." 

My eyes were reluctant to do so, but I faced her anyways. Her rather youthful and full fair face expressed great concern and sympathy. Her black eyes, lined with eyeliner were expressing pity. 

"Put a stop to this sh*t Minki, once you do, you will grow stronger as a person." 

What should I do?

I got it, just ignore Seohyee. She'll take a hint. 

Behind aunty, I saw a young woman walk in with wide eyes eyeing the whole cafe in awe. 

"There's a customer." I got up immediately heading to the ringer.

I smiled at her, "Hello, welcome to Lovesome Cafe, can I help you?" 

Her eyes diverted to me and she paused for a moment before clearing , "Uh, yeah, umm..." 

I chuckled, "Take your time."

Her eyes were intense, they held a heavy weight to them. I couldn't read if she was happy or pissed off. Her light brown eyes complimented her earthly vibe. The lashes only made her gazes more intense. Her height would be considered fairly tall, maybe 5'6 around there/ She has straight dark hair covers her shoulders like a barrier. She has wide cheeksbones, but it suited her well. It makes her appear more stronger than the average Korean women in some way.

However, it's more than that. Her presence alone was very distinct, she carried a strange aura around her. A sense of mystery? Probably. She seems like a well grounded woman, very knowledgeable. However, I just cannot pin down what it is about her that makes me fascinated. Altogether, she just seemed different.

She looked up and let out a short breathy smile, "Sorry, I'm a foreigner so I do not know the menu at all... uh, what would you reccomend?" 

Those intense eyes again.

"Mmm. Personally, as a first timer I would recommend our signature Love Latte." I nodded.

"Oh, okay sounds good."

Her eyes shifted away, and looked around again. Obviously fascinated with the prominent pink theme of the cafe.

"Alright. One Love Latte coming right up." I rung her up. 

She inserted her card.

"One Love Latte!" I shouted lightly to the back. "Okay!" Sunghee responded.

I continued to observe her. She was biting the inside of . Her fingers were pinching eachother. She's nervous. Simply cute. Her long thin and dark trenchcoat reached to mid thighs, as her beige see through blouse stuck out two long tails behind her. She wore a long red tank top under the beige blouse, reaching past the front of her blouse. The pumps boosted her figure. Her eyes went down at her foot. Again, simply cute and elegant. But those eyes... Despite her earthly appearence, those eyes gave her an edge. It made her look fierce.

Stirrings in my body were giddy, and I wanted to talk to her. However, she seemed a bit too shy. Not to mention awkward.

Sunghee came from the back and handed me the latte. Then to her, I handed over the latte.

"Kamsamida." She thanked me and left the cafe quickly.

I was hoping she'd stay so maybe I could watch her even more. 

I noticed I haven't given her the receipt. She used her card, so her name should pop up. 

A giddy feeling exploded in my chest, maybe this could be an interesting start. 

Amelia Kan? Nice name.