i know you guys are probably fed up seeing the first chapter again. but I swear this will be the last time. i’ve decided to finish this once and for all, have some patience, pup. and also i’ve changed literally everything that you all read the last time you came across this//. so that’s a good thing, i guess?

i didn’t think if i was going anywhere with what I had written before and i wanted this story to stop haunting me. so as to not bore you all to death and even myself too, i wrote everything again.

Jongin was nine months pregnant at that time; just a week was left before his due delivery date. Kyungsoo was beside him throughout the time, whispering words of comfort and love to him when he would cry in pain. The elder's callous hand would wrap around his much delicate one, squeezing it ever so lightly just to give Jongin reassurance that he was there with him, for him. During late nights when sleep would not come to him, he would call his husband and talk to him for as long as possible.

Kyungsoo, though tired, would never complain and try to cheer him up from the other end. No matter what, Jongin never liked the fact that the hospital didn’t allow any visitors during nights. He would complain about that too, of how the hospital was cruel to separate the two lovers from each other. How boring and lonely it was for him to spend the nights alone without the elder. Kyungsoo would reply that he wasn’t alone and their baby was with him. Jongin would hum something in reply and then giggle at the love confession that Kyungsoo whispered from the other end.

Kyungsoo would laugh when Jongin would say that he doesn’t know how to reply to that and would whisper cheesy lines.

That was before he went to a business meeting that was due for weeks. Kyungsoo said that he couldn’t postpone it anymore, it will only be a huge loss for the company and hence to them, too. Jongin, though reluctant of letting him go, allowed him. That was his mistake, he always thought the same. He shouldn’t have allowed the man to go that day to the meeting.

If only he hadn’t allowed him, Kyungsoo would still be alive. Safe and sound with him and their son, Jin.

…but fate likes to play its game, whether humans like it or not. It did and Jongin lost his lover of eight years in less than eight hours.

Kyungsoo’s mother said that it was because of a car accident, the traffic was heavy and to save a man who was crossing the road at the red light, he ended up killing himself. It was brutal, the man died at the scene, even before they had the chance to bring Kyungsoo to the nearest hospital—the same hospital where Jongin was admitted. Jin was born during those hours and Kyungsoo’s mother said that Kyungsoo has returned in the form of her grandson, Jin.

Jongin… didn’t accept that neither did he decline that. Anything was good as long as Kyungsoo remained by his side. Jin was his only family now, so to support himself and his baby he decided to come back to Korea, to Busan—Kyungsoo’s birthplace.

****

Being in Korea is not easy, he doesn’t remember Korea being this difficult anyway. Maybe it’s because it’s been years since he last came to his home country. Busan is more populous, busier than he remembers and it fills him with a sense of nervousness and fear of how would he be able to survive here alone with his son being the only one besides him.

After finding a cozy apartment for the two of them, he started looking out for jobs. There was a lot—of a barista, a cook among many others. But nothing caught his attention as much as this particular job did.

Personal Assistant of a CEO of a huge company.

Apparently, this Oh Entertainment (according to Google) is a huge name in Asian markets. If he remembers correctly, he did come across this name a lot of times but never bothered to pay it any mind. It's an entertainment company, finds talented and beautiful people around the streets of Korea (sometimes even from foreign countries) and trains them in whatever they are good at.

The CEO is a graduate from Harvard, is twenty-nine years old and is the only son of Oh Jaejoong. There's not a lot about him, Jongin finds out as he scrolls through various websites, but he's a lot popular than his own idols. Mostly for his looks and his money. Articles say that he's a playboy too, but in his case, people only find him more attractive which Jongin finds weird.

Really what's so attractive about being a cheater anyway? He thinks to himself, eyes boring holes into the man’s admittedly handsome face.

It's almost an impossible target but Jongin is willing to pay it at least one chance. Who knows what would happen next. Even then, he decides to ask his son if he should give this a chance or not.

“Papa.” The five-year-old shakes his head, his soft hair falling over his beautiful eyes. “You don't need to ask me anything.”

“'ut still,” Jongin says with a pout, eyes looking at his son's form in adoration. “Papa just needed an opinion.”

“And Jinnie is saying that Papa should do it. Okay?” The boy crawls to his father, kissing him on his head. “Everyone says Papa is so handsome, maybe Papa will be a model too.”

“Is that so?” Jongin asks, getting a nod from his son. “If Jinnie thinks so, then Papa will give it a chance.”

And so it's decided.

Morning comes, he sends Jin to his new school and follows the path to the company since it's close to the school. Almost. He realizes his mistake of not taking a vehicle at exactly seven fifty-five. Just five minutes before the start of the interview.

He'd confirmed it from the company, called them an evening before, and was informed that there were twenty people who were to give the interview.

Now that he is almost late, most probably very late (his fear gripped heart just doesn't want to accept anything), he can't help but curse his own decision-making skills. Even Jin, his five-year-old kid, had told him to take a vehicle because “Papa, you should not take a chance”.

Not to mind or anything, Jin has always been an intelligent kid.

He reaches the company building exactly at eight thirty, seems like he misunderstood everything. His hair is sticking to his forehead (he quickly brushes the fringes aside, wiping the sweat on his handkerchief), his cheeks flushed a deep shade of red, eyes nervous and posture almost unprofessional. He just hopes he doesn't this up even before anything starts.

“Do Jongin, you're late.” The receptionist says, stern eyes boring holes into his face.

He flushes more, bowing apologetically to her. “I am sorry, I didn't mean to…” he bites his own tongue before taking a deep breath. “It's only eight thirty. The interview wouldn't end so fast.”

The receptionist rolls her eyes, leaning back against her chair and staring at him. “What do you think how much time it would take Mr. Oh to kick everyone out of the building?”

“Kick everyone out of the building?” Jongin mumbles, confused.

“… but I think you should go, he must be in his office right now.” She nods, looking at Jongin up and down. “I don't think he would do the same to you. Go, there's the lift.” She points in a direction. “Fourth floor, bright red door—or wait, was it blue or black?” She shakes her head. “Go, go, you must not be late. At least more than how much you already are.”

“Uh, thank you,” Jongin says with a bow.

“Oh, and one more thing. Keep your fringes over your eyes, you look cute and innocent. Mr. Oh likes anything cute and innocent.” She calls just before the door of the lift closes, taking Jongin to his future. Jongin does what the receptionist adviced him without a reason, maybe it would help him with the interview.

It's a combination of black and white color, far from what the receptionist had said. Jongin stands in front of the door for a few minutes, ears catching the murmuring inside the office room of the CEO. He doesn't know how this works—should he just knock and when called step inside. Should he wait for someone to come out of the room and take notice of him?

Should he… leave? Because that really sounds like a good choice keeping in mind how much his body is shaking. But before he can even take a step back, the door opens revealing a man taller than himself. He is wearing an expensive looking suit and from Jongin’s still sane mind he decides that it's Armani. Of course, it will be.

His eyes are sharp, a few strands of black hair fall over his eyes as he stares down at Jongin in what Jongin assumes is mild curiosity and mild admiration. Something else too, something on which he can't quite put his finger on. He is unfairly handsome, not more than Kyungsoo though, and definitely not more than Jongin himself. Nope (Jongin denies to himself).

“So I didn't know kids were allowed inside the building to creepily stare at a CEO’S office no matter how cute they are.” The man says in his deep voice, leaning against a wall and crossing his arms over his chest. “I never approved of that.”

Jongin flushes, bowing apologetically. “I-I didn't mean to. I was about to knock.”

“You were thinking if you should knock or not for five straight minutes. Interesting.” The man notices, staring at Jongin up and down, his sharp eyes stay at Jongin’s legs for more than what should be considered normal or at least acceptable. “You are?”

“Do Jongin.” Jongin answers with a bow. “I-I got stuck in traffic and that’s why I am late.” Lie, he just hopes this man accepts that.

“Right, Do Jongin. The only guy who didn't come for the interview. Stuck in a traffic.” The man nods at him and then inside. “Shall we go inside because I am seriously getting fed up with this boring ?”

Jongin flinches at the curse, silently hoping the man doesn't notice it. He follows the CEO inside, hands clasped tightly in front of him. The man motions for him to sit on one of the unoccupied chairs kept in front his mahogany table. There's another man, looking somewhat older than the CEO and himself, staring at him in what Jongin decides is mild curiosity.

“Found this kid creepily staring at the door.”

Jongin flushes at the words that introduce him to the other man, almost screaming at the top of his lungs when the man laughs.

“Do Jongin, was it?” Jongin nods at the man, giving a handshake to the man when he stretches his hand toward him. “Byun Baekhyun and that's Oh Sehun if you didn't figure out that yet.” The man, Baekhyun, doesn’t let go of his hand until Sehun throws a pen to his head. Baekhyun murmurs something under his breath before loudly cursing at Sehun for doing this to his “hyung”.

The CEO doesn’t bother to apologize and looks back at Jongin, speaking in some tone that he can’t decipher. “Should we begin?” He asks, getting a nod from Jongin.

So the interview begins; the man asks him the same old questions that Kyungsoo had told him long years ago­ (why does he want to work in the company? Why should he hire him as his personal assistant? How much has he studied? Has he ever worked ever in his entire life before coming for the interview here?—the question shouldn’t be difficult and the answer shouldn’t be mortifying for Jongin but it was because truth be told, he actually never really worked before. For the last five years he was living on his late husband’s and his in-laws’ money).

He is, surprisingly, selected and told that he will need to start working from the same day. Although the first day will almost be like training since he doesn’t know how everything actually works here (Sehun had scoffed and rolled his eyes at that).

“Jongin,” Baekhyun calls after the interview is finished. Jongin immediately straightens up, wondering where he should look, at Sehun or Baekhyun. In the end, decides Baekhyun since Baekhyun was the one who called him, so? “Did you use makeup?” Sehun looks up from his phone at that, looking at Jongin.

Jongin flushes under their gaze, unconsciously rubbing his fingers over his cheek and wondering if he did something wrong. “J-just BB cream and—”

“Lip gloss?”

“Uh, no. I didn’t. I don’t use makeup that much.”

“So you mean that this is almost your natural look.”

Jongin nods, unconsciously curling himself a little. “This is almost—yes.”

“Have you ever, like, given audition or something? Like faced camera and all for modeling and stuff.”

Jongin has, in fact, faced camera before (if taking selfies and Kyungsoo and Jin clicking his photos is counted, that is). He nods, biting his lower lip but releasing it as soon as he notices the brief look that Sehun passes him at that. He clears his throat before nodding again. “Like selfies and—”

The other men laugh at that, Baekhyun whispers something to Sehun and Sehun nods back at him and Jongin suddenly feels alone and scared. He clears his throat again, drumming his fingers over his thigh in nervousness.

“Jongin, has anyone taken your photo before? Have you ever posed for a photo before?” Baekhyun asks next, mirth disappearing from his eyes though a smile still plays over his lips.

Jongin nods, gulping down the sudden bile rising in his throat. “I did, of course.”

Baekhyun hums. Sehun nods.

“Okay then,” Sehun says and stands up, looking down at the watch on his wrist. “I have a meeting in ten minutes, Jongin you have to be there with me.”

When Sehun, his boss now, said that he is to start work today he didn’t know it meant this fast. Nevertheless, he complies easily and follows Sehun, disappearing in a new corner of the building. Sehun is humming something under his breath, occasionally looking back at him with this strange look in his eyes that he doesn’t understand. It’s not until Sehun asks him to stand beside him and asks him about why, at the age of twenty-six, he hadn’t done any job that he thinks back to his previous life.

Jongin had never worked in his entire life, not even when he’d started his college and most definitely not when he’d graduated. Kyungsoo and he met in high school, dated for a few months (after Kyungsoo had proposed him at a party of the school soccer captain, in front of everyone) and a few months after that realized they have fallen in love with each other. Kyungsoo was from a wealthy family; his father was chairperson of a university, his mother a professor of history in another university and his older brother head of an IT department.

After meeting Kyungsoo and dating him, Jongin had fallen in this pattern of being pampered all day long by Kyungsoo. Working never really came to his mind and it was good too since he was always scared of meeting and interacting with new people, it was good. It was working. He’d though started spending his days at his dance classes when he would get bored doing nothing at Kyungsoo’s penthouse. His days passed just like that, without any meaning or work done. Jongin always thought that it was better that way anyway especially after he got pregnant with Kyungsoo’s child.

“Never came into my mind.” He answers to his boss’s previous question. Sehun stays silent by his side, looking at him with some strange emotion swirling in his black eyes.

“You must be from a very rich family then.” The man hums to himself. “Still, sitting and doing nothing is something that I really can’t do. How brave of you.”

Jongin doesn’t know if his boss’s mocking him or not but he doesn’t like the tone that his boss is using on him. Despite knowing better, he still opens his mouth to reply back to the older man. From the expression Sehun is wearing, Jongin realizes that he was expecting Jongin to say something after his remark. “My family is not exactly rich nor is it poor.” He mumbles, mainly to himself. “I never really worked because my hu—”

“Sorry to cut you off but we’ve reached.” Sehun points to a closed door, opening it later a second later and motioning Jongin to follow him inside. “Gentlemen,” the CEO announces his presence, pulling Jongin beside him with a delicate hold on his wrist. “Please, pay attention. I’ve something to announce before the start of this meeting.”

He points to Jongin with a hand, smiling a handsome smile. “He is Do Jongin, my new Personal Assistant.”

Surprisingly, there’s hoots and whistles after that which confuses Jongin more than he thought he would ever be. It’s a meeting, isn’t it? How unprofessional is this.

Sehun clears his throat. “Sorry for this,” he says, scratching the back of his neck in embarrassment. “More than business associates, they are my friends, really close friends.” He points to everyone then, introducing everyone to Jongin separately. There’s Kim Junmyeon, Kim Minseok, Wu Yifan and Park Chanyeol. The meeting continues after that, Jongin wondering if it’s a meeting in the first place since there are more smiles and laughs then serious business talk. Most of the times, they forget Jongin for briefest of seconds to talk about something before breaking into loud guffaws and teasing words.

It’s not until an elderly looking man comes inside the room that the meeting actually starts (after about two hours since Jongin came inside the room himself), with the CEO’s dealing with the issues at hand. He zones out more than once since he has no freaking idea what they are talking about. Or why they are having a meeting in the first place, if they all are in the entertainment business then shouldn’t they avoid each other as much as possible?

The meeting ends somewhere during one in the afternoon, they bid farewell to the other CEO’s before Sehun brings him back in his office to explain everything that he will need to take care of. The most important being that before coming inside the office he will need to bring Sehun his daily dose of coffee—black coffee without any sugar. Jongin never really understood people's addiction to coffee, he prefers tea instead.

“Baekhyun started the right thing though.” Sehun starts, referring to the earlier talk between the three of them. “About you being model and all.”

“I've never really thought about it, it never came to my mind.”

“Didn't anyone tell you how beautiful you really are?”

Jongin flushes a deep shade of red, brushing aside the fringes falling over his eyes. Sehun’s eyes follow his move but Jongin doesn't notice that. “I've heard, people tell me so. Most of the time.”

“But you never really took those compliments serious?”

It's not like that, the words coming out of his boss's mouth makes it sound as if he's insecure of himself. He's not, at least not that much. “Never really thought that this look would help in the entertainment business actually.”

“Oh.” Sehun nods at him as if understanding what this is all about before taking several steps toward Jongin. Forward, back. Jongin almost stumbles and falls back on the sofa kept behind him inside the CEO’s office if not for Sehun’s hold on his waist, his own hand clasps tight on the man’s suit jacket. “You are my personal assistant now. You should prepare yourself.”

“Prepare yourself?” Jongin repeats, not really understanding what the man means. He pushes the CEO a little back, albeit gently. “I don’t understand what that means.”

“Well, it depends on how you take them.” The man smirks, innuendo oblivious to Jongin. It’s not until Jongin passes him one of his (adorable) confused looks to him that he rolls his eyes with a sigh. “You’re twenty-six, you shouldn’t be so innocent.”

“I am sorry but I am not innocent.” How can he be when he has a baby of five? “I am twenty-six and I know what a twenty-six year-old should know.”

“Oh my, you sound so… sassy. Suppressed sassy?” The man hums something to himself before looking down at the watch on his wrist. “It’s eight in the evening and its Saturday. If you don’t know this yet, let me tell you. I leave today early. No matter how serious the work is.”

“So, my work is done?” Jongin asks just to confirm.

The man nods at him, picking up his bag and his phone from his table. “Yes, today’s over for you, for me. But be here on time on Monday. I can’t tolerate tardiness.”

Jongin follows him out of the office and to the familiar corridor before stepping inside the empty elevator with the CEO. “Do you have a family here or you live on your own?”

“My family is in the US,” Jongin answers, thinking back to his family then his son. “I live with my son here.”

“Ah, son—son?” Sehun sounds surprised, looks almost like he’s on a verge of getting his heart broken or at least getting a heart attack. “Y-you have a kid? Are you married?” The word “married” spits out of the CEO’s mouth as if talking about something unpleasant.

“I have a kid, yes. I was married, yes, but I lost my husband in a car accident.” Jongin gulps the rising bile in his throat, thinking back to Kyungsoo’s dead body that he’d seen for the first time in the same hospital he gave birth to their son. How cold his body was and how he wasn’t opening his eyes no matter how much Jongin cried and begged him to.

“Oh, I am so sorry, I didn’t know that.” The man apologizes yet Jongin can see the slight hesitation in his tone and the elder’s stiff posture beside him. The man stares ahead, hand clasped tightly around his briefcase.

Jongin sighs, staring ahead and at the closed door of the elevator. It’s not like it’s the first time where people have given him cold shoulder of being a widow. He’d met a few people who went as far as to call him “cursed” for killing his own husband when in fact it wasn’t his fault. Technically speaking, it wasn’t (if he forgets about how he was the one who allowed Kyungsoo to go for the meeting).

They walk to out of the building in silence, Jongin’s eyes follow the darkness around him. It’s late, the bus stop is far from here and he will need to walk at least half an hour to reach there. A car stops beside him the next moment, Sehun lowers the window just in case Jongin gets scared for no reason at all.

“It’s late, if you will allow me, I will drop you off at your home?” The man looks at him, sharp eyes flickering with some gentle emotion that disappears as soon as it came. “I could drop you at the bus stop too but it’s far and I have something that I have to attend, so?”

Jongin, though reluctant and slight bitter of how Sehun had reacted earlier, nods at the man, thanking the elder as he steps inside the car and closes the door with a soft click.

“I need your address.”

Jongin gives him his address, looking out of the window and at the barely visible stars in the sky.

“When our baby will be born, we will go for stargazing with them. What do you say Jongin?”

Kyungsoo never really full filled his promise and Jongin, every night, would sit with his son for at least ten minutes to star gaze. Jin loves star gazing, as much as Kyungsoo loved, and Jongin would always point to the same star to tell him that it’s his daddy that he never really met. It’s hard, a lot harder than he’d initially thought it would be, people whispering under their breath as of how Jongin shouldn’t be living between them. Kids bullying Jin at school for having only one parent.

During all those difficult moments only his and Kyungsoo’s family remained by his side, they and some close friends of his. Everyone turned their back at him and their son, instead of giving them the love, they started smothering them in pity and sympathy. Jongin doesn’t like people pitying him or his son, he’s not a lost cause. No matter how much people turn rude after hearing about him being a widower and living with his son, he doesn’t want it any other way.

It’s the best as it is.

Sehun stops the car in front of his apartment, nudging him when he doesn’t reply to him for the first few seconds. “Your place.” The man repeats and Jongin notices him looking at the apartment. “Your son is at home?” He asks next, still not looking at Jongin.

Jongin hums, unclasping the seat belt before opening the door of the car. “Thank you, sir, it was kind of you to drop me at my home.” Jongin steps out of the car but before closing it and finally waving a good night to Sehun he speaks, “I hope me being a widow doesn’t harm anything between you and me. As an employer and employee.” With a smile, he whispers a low “drive safe, sir” before closing the door of the car and stepping a little back.

Sehun does not start the engine for another few minutes and when he does, Jongin only sees a grotesque figure of a hand waving at him. He doesn’t know what to think of it.

Jongin is welcomed with his son’s presence as soon as he steps inside the apartment, that and his neighbor, Lucas, a native of China. “Thank you so much, Lucas, I didn’t know what to do if it wasn’t for you.”

Lucas scratches the back of his neck in embarrassment. “No worries, hyung, I needed to finish my homework and Jin too, we did that together.”

“But still, you’re a university kid, study is important.” Jongin passes a pout to his son who only giggles at him before telling him how much “hyung helped me. He taught me a lot of things too, he is so awesome, papa!”

“Want to have dinner with us? I will make something under one hour.”

“Oh no.” Lucas shakes his head, picking up his bag and patting Jin on his head. “I should go home, hyung. Mom must be waiting for me.”

“Ah, yes. Thank you again, Lucas, I appreciate it a lot.” Jongin stands against the door, watching as the younger quickly steps into his shoes before smiling brightly down at him. “Don’t forget to eat dinner, your mom complained about how you spend your time in studies that you even forget to eat.”

“I will but I think you need to eat more than me, hyung.” Lucas points out, stepping a little back and Jongin looks down at the man’s twitching hand by his side­—he wonders what the student is thinking. “Y-you look thinner than you did a week ago.” The student at last steps a little ahead, taking Jongin’s hand in his own. He traces the underside of Jongin’s wrist and Jongin really doesn’t understand what’s happening. “Your wrist is so thin, thinner than any other human that I’ve come across in recent time. You need to take care of yourself.”

“I-I will.” Jongin flushes, gently pulling his hand back before nodding a quick bye to the man when he again steps back. “Good night, Lucas.”

“Good night to you too, hyung, and to Jin too.”

i thought that i need to take everything a little slow. not really slow but yes, slow. hope ya’ll are not annoyed at me, i swear i am not going anywhere this time. this already started and i will finish this. soon.

 i have an author recommendation too. kaileidoscopic is a talented writer, please give her a chance and check out her adorable, funny and cute writings. i swear you won’t regret giving her a chance. she really is a talented author and deserves more love and support for her lovely stories. T~T please give her some love too.