Minho entered Kibum’s bedroom, glancing around to see Jinki standing at the desk. He veered in that direction, leaning in and resting his chin on Jinki’s shoulder.

“Kibum and Jonghyun went out for coffee. I told them if I didn’t text them what we wanted in 5 minutes to just not worry about it.”

Jinki hummed in response, eyes following his finger as he traced them across the titles of the books lining the shelves. Minho had looked through these books many times. This was Kibum’s private collection of soulmate literature. It was something that Kibum had started at a pretty young age, trying to find out absolutely everything he could about what he might have to look forward to, or fear, when he turned 18. These were all books that Kibum had ripped from their places on the shelves and scattered across the room on the day he’d see Jonghyun kiss that girl. Although Minho had been the one to replace them on the shelves that day, just from a glance he could tell that Kibum had come back some time later and reorganized them.

“All of these are about soulmates.” Jinki pulled a book halfway from the shelf to look at the cover and then placed it back in its spot. “Why does he have so many?”

Minho pulled away and sat on the edge of the bed, tapping his feet lightly on the carpet. “He was terrified of the idea of being forced to be with someone he’d probably never met. He hated the idea of not being able to make such an important choice for himself.”

“But why does he have them all as physical books? Wouldn’t it be easier for him to just have them as ebooks?”

Minho shrugged. “Kibum is a very physical person. He prefers to be able to touch things, to hold them in his hands.”

Jinki let out a low chuckle. “Well then we are in for a show when those two finally get over their awkwardness. Jonghyun is also a very… physical person.”

“Gross.”

Jinki actually laughed this time, looking at Minho in a way that made his heart leap. Minho loved making Jinki laugh. The way the corners of his eyes crinkled and his mouth opened to show his pretty teeth. His laugh sounded like the feeling of joy and dancing and sunny days all mixed together. And whenever Minho was able to make Jinki laugh like that, he saw spectacular rays of light dance off his skin, more beautiful than a sunset. Jinki had become Minho’s sunshine and he was grateful every single day that he was lucky enough to get Jinki has his soulmate.

The moment passed quickly, but it left Minho breathless. Jinki, still smiling so widely turned back to the bookshelf. He looked curiously at one particular title, pulling it carefully from the shelf, so as to not lose its spot. This book looked different than the others, more worn.

“What’s this one?”

Minho tilted his head slightly, standing and drawing closer to get a better look. “It looks like a diary. Kibum doesn’t keep a diary.”

“If it’s a diary, I’m putting it back.”

“It’s not a diary. I just said, Kibum doesn’t keep a diary. Open it.”

Jinki hesitated, then turned to the first page.

For quick reference:

Quotes and Important Research

Soulmates

“I guess this is Kibum’s personal one? It’s still about soulmates, but I guess it’s the stuff that really resonated with him?” Minho looked confused.

“He loves this stuff. I wonder what warranted the title of important for him.” Jinki turned the pages. Each page had a quote or phrase at the top, and underneath was written personal opinions or thoughts from Kibum about that quote or phrase. Minho had never seen this before. He hadn’t realized the depth of work to which Kibum had put into this whole idea.

“I didn't realize he went this deep into it.” Minho, now standing behind Jinki again, rested his head on the elder’s shoulder as they read together.

“You weren’t concerned about who I might be before? At any point?” Jinki asked curiously.

“Not really. It was just expected in my family that it would be fine. My parents were fine. Kibum’s parents were fine. Minseok and his soulmate are fine. I just never had a reason to worry about it.”

Though there had been ample time for Jinki to finish reading the open page before them, Jinki didn’t move. Minho lifted his head to check Jinki’s face. The older boy’s face was stiff, his eyes filled with sadness, and his breath sounded a bit shakey.

“Jinki?”

“You’re lucky, you know? We’re lucky. Some people don’t have it as easy as we did.”

Minho placed his chin back on Jinki’s shoulder and wrapped his arms around him.

“Every day I’m with you I feel like the luckiest person in the world.”

He felt Jinki’s body relax and the older boy’s head leaned against his own. There was a slight hum from Jinki’s chest, and Jinki turned the page. Minho brought one arm up to rub his soulmate’s shoulder, the other still wrapped nicely around this waist.

“I think I’m the lucky one.” Jinki whispered. Minho smiled.

“You see," she concluded miserably, "when I can call like that to him across space--I belong to him. He doesn't love me--he never will--but I belong to him.”
― L.M. Montgomery, Emily's Quest

Under this quote was written in very shaky handwriting “I ing hate this. He will never love me. How can this be real? How am I supposed to live like this?”

Both Jinki and Minho were silent as they read this. Minho drew his arm tighter around Jinki’s waist, pulling him closer. He couldn’t imagine what this must have felt like for Kibum. He imagined Jinki feeling this way because of him and it almost broke his heart. He couldn’t imagine ever inflicting that type of pain on the person he was bonded to eternally.

“After Jjong met Kibum, he became a different person. He didn’t talk as much as before, and when he did, it often felt forced. He didn’t smile and joke around anymore. I’m more than sure that he physically felt the pain he inflicted on Kibum within his own body as well. Because after the kiss, he felt a physical break in himself. And he couldn’t eat or sleep for weeks. He threw up a lot. But once Kibum started talking to him again, forgiving him, he started getting color back in his skin. He smiled again. He’s back to who he was before, now. Once they really reconcile and are together, he’ll be another person entirely, in a good way. Before Kibum, he was going around as half a person and didn’t even know it. Now, he’s on his way to being whole, and he has so much hope and optimism.”

Minho squeezed Jinki, again. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to. They both knew Kibum’s side. They both knew he was getting better, too.

Jinki turned the page again. This time, they found a happier quote.

“What if you could meet your soul mate?" the ghost asked. "You'd want to avoid that?"
"Hell, yes. The idea that there's one soul out there, waiting to merge with mine like some data-sharing program, depresses the hell out of me."
"It's not like that. It's not about losing yourself."
"Then what is it?" Alex was only half listening, still occupied with the viselike tightness of his chest.
"It's like your whole life you've been falling toward the earth, until the moment someone catches you. And you realize that somehow you've caught her at the same time. And together, instead of falling, you might be able to fly.”
― Lisa Kleypas, Dream Lake

Absentmindedly, and now that he was in a better mood again, Minho casually began to fiddle with Jinki’s ear lobe. He didn’t even notice he was doing it as he spoke.

“The thing most people don’t know about Kibum is that it’s really not that hard to get him to forgive you, if you’re patient. And he falls in love very easily. But he’s proud, so it can be hard for him to admit something like that. I think it might be a little while before he can really let himself freely be a thing with Jonghyun. What do you think?”

Jinki didn’t respond. Minho realized his body was stiff again, and he worried he’d said something to upset him. He glanced at the older boy’s face and noticed that his eyes seemed to be glazed over, staring at the page, but not taking any of it in.

“Jinki?”

Minho let go of Jinki’s ear to check on him, and when he did, Jinki blinked his eyes a couple times and shook his head slightly. Then he turned the page as if nothing had happened. Minho furrowed his brow in confusion.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“You didn’t answer my question…”

“Oh… I think… I think Kibum and Jonghyun will be fine. Jonghyun is patient.”

Minho nodded slowly, settling his head back onto Jinki’s shoulder and resuming his playing with the older’s ear. Again, they stayed on the page for far too long, the older boy not moving at all. And again, Minho let go and leaned forward to peer at Jinki’s face. As soon as he did, Jinki blinked and shook his head again. Then he reached up and pulled lightly on his own earlobe and stretched his neck awkwardly to the opposite side.

His ear.

“Do you like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like what? When I play with your ear. You seem to like it.”

“I mean… it’s not bothering me.”

Minho cocked his eyebrow mischievously. Jinki shrugged and turned his attention back to the book.

Minho leaned in, placing his thumb and forefinger around the curve of Jinki’s ear and massaging lightly. Then, he ghosted a warm breath slowly across the shell of Jinki’s ear.

“.” Jinki whispered.

Suddenly, Minho was shoved backwards, the backs of his legs hitting the edge of the bed and forcing him to sit. He heard a smack as the book they’d been looking at was dropped to the desktop. In an instant, Jinki was before him, shoving him backwards to laying. The older boy hovered over him, his knee on the bed between Minho’s legs. Jinki was so close that Minho could feel his breath across his face.

“Holy , Jinki,” Minho whispered.

“What? Do you like that?” Jinki’s voice was low and rough. It sent chills through Minho’s entire body. He had to stop his eyes from rolling back in his head.

“You seem to like it.”

“ yeah I do, Jinki.”

A low laugh rumbled through Jinki’s chest and Minho couldn’t stand it anymore. He pushed himself up from the bed, crashing his lips into his soulmate’s. He felt Jinki gasp into his mouth and then respond back just as passionately. Technically this wasn’t Minho’s first kiss, but it was his first with Jinki and it was his first real kiss. And in that moment, he felt like he could devour the older boy and, in turn, be devoured himself. He felt Jinki’s warm tongue against his own, he felt their teeth clink together in the most awkward, yet perfect way. He heard their heavy breathing. His hands searched for Jinki’s body, and tried to pull the older boy closer, tighter against him.

Jinki pulled back slightly, their lips still touching. “If you keep doing that, we’re going to have trouble. I don’t want our first time… together…to be on Kibum’s bed.”

Minho let out a deep chuckle, placing another kiss upon his soulmate’s slightly swollen lips. “I forgot where we are.”

Jinki grinned at him, his eyes still dark with passion and those rays of light beaming out of him again. He from Minho’s temple, down his face and neck, to his shoulder with his large palm. He placed a tender kiss on the side of Minho’s throat that made him gasp slightly, before pushing himself up to standing, again. Minho stayed laying down, his eyes following Jinki’s movements, taking in the older boy having to adjust his pants a bit. He let out a breathy laugh.

Outside the door, voices could now be heard. Jonghyun and Kibum were back from getting coffee. Jinki glanced back at Minho, still laying on the bed. “God, you look y like that.” He headed for the door, pulling it open. He held up a hand in greeting before heading to the bathroom. Kibum appeared in the doorway, followed closely by Jonghyun, both watching Jinki disappear behind the closing bathroom door.

“and that’s why I want a jacket made out of mini dorito baggsssss Ohhhhhhhhhh hold on, I’ll be right back.” Kibum side stepped into the room and shut the door in Jonghyun’s face. He pressed his back against it, staring at Minho, who still hadn’t found the strength to get up from the bed.

“Ohhhkayyy..” Jonghyun said quietly from behind the closed door.

“Go sit on the couch.” Kibum called. They heard his footsteps shuffle away.

“What are you doing??” Kibum questioned. His eyes traveled the length of Minho suspiciously.

“Key… holy , man…”

“I swear to ing god, Minho, if you ever have on my bed, I will end you.” His voice was quiet, but annoyed. Minho chuckled and ran his fingers through his hair.

“Shut up, it was just kissing.”

“Ming, I’m dead serious when I say this, you look like you just had the best of your life.”

Minho groaned and rolled into sitting on the edge of the bed. He hung his head for a moment to steady himself, then glanced up at Kibum through his fringe.

“If this is how I am after making out, I am in bad trouble.”

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A/N: Hello dearest readers! I apologize for yet another haitus. We literally moved across the country and then across our new town. We're still settling in to our new house, and the kids here are doing virtual school 3 days a week and in person school 2 days a week. Hopefully, I'm passed the stress that made my motivation disappear. Thank you so much for continuing to read this story of mine!